FBI looking for supermarket bank robber

Reblogged from Santa Fe Crime:

The FBI this weekend sent out the following press release after they say the Wells Fargo bank branch inside the Albertsons supermarket on St. Francis Drive was robbed Saturday morning: The FBI and Santa Fe Police are investigating a bank robbery that occurred this morning (Saturday) at Wells Fargo, inside Albertsons supermarket, 3001 South Saint Francis Drive, Santa Fe. The subject is described as a …

I don’t often reblog bullshit, in fact I never have reblogged anything but I wanted to have a link to this funny picture of my used to best friend Eric Schlenker robbing a bank in New Mexico like a fucking moron and then getting turned in by his girlfriend who obviously was pretty pissed off at him. He got 37 months in the Federal Prison System. Nice on Schlenker.

if you smell the sirens of her

if you smell the sirens of her

the rain thunder clouds in the sky are like moon drops on a pistol

pistol can turn brown

just turn green

budweiser sexy

you’re never be mean

It’s spinning out of control I tell you

It’s 4:43 a.m. and I’m downloading the “virtual casino” for probably the fiftieth time in the last three years.  I’m obsessed with gambling in any form.  It’s really not a very healthy thing for me. The amounts of cash and other assets that I have squandered gambling with nothing to show for it but stress and heartache will mean nothing to you.  What may seem like a lot of money to me could perhaps be chump change to you.  Actually I highly doubt that because I have lost some serious amounts of cash in my life.  Serious for all but the richest of people.

Anyhow I’ll just say that it’s really starting to bring me down to the lowest point I have ever been in my life.  

The Kindness of Strangers

A few months ago while panhandling for gas money at the Valero gas station on Pechanga Parkway a guy who owned a medical marijuana dispensary in Temecula first gave me $5 cash which I was totally stoked on.  Then I guess he had second thoughts and came over to my pump (always pump 12 over at Valero), swiped his credit card, told me to fill it up, and proceeded to drive away.  I put over a hundred dollars worth of gas in my van and I was so blown away by that guys kindness.  I forgot his fucking name which is a shame because I remember posting something about him on Facebook saying that he made me have faith in the world again or some dribble like that.

After I lost my money one day at Morongo Casino, I wandered into the high limit slots area where this lady named Anna had just won a $2500 jackpot on a $1 dollar slot kind of like China Shores but with with cowboys and what not.  She filled the whole screen up with these little fucking windmills.  Anyways, I said something like, “lucky five dollars for me”? And she asked me if I wanted five bucks and I said YES.  I lost that five bucks really quick and I just sorta wandered back to where she was.  She didn’t seem to mind at all which I am very perceptive to because I don’t want to infringe on anyone’s gambling entertainment by watching them win and hitting them up for cash.  Plus the casino will kick you out for doing that shit.  Anyways while I’m sitting there she wins a thousand bucks and turns to me and give me a high five.  So I was thinking for sure I could get some cash from her hahahaha.  I said, “how about a twenty” and sure enough she said hell yea and actually called a change person over, broke a hundred dollar bill and gave me forty bucks.  That was so cool.  Then I was still sitting there and like five minutes later she says I’m her good luck charm and tells me that if she wins another jackpot she will give me a hundred bucks.  Well I had just lost four hundred so I was stoked to hear that.  Five minutes later she wins another jackpot for 1700 and gives me a hundred dollar bill.  Anna, you are a cool ass lady!

WHY YOU SO GAY TONY

i just asked batchelder to give me a quote to name my blog post for the day and the best she could come up with is “why you so gay tony”.  whatever.  it works for me.  so i haven’t been blogging lately even though i have been up to so much no good it’s insane but i haven’t even been close to a computer except to do work for my boss tom.  so much shit has been going down i feel lucky to be alive and in one piece.  drugs complete scandalous sexual liaisons with so many girls all of them crazy hustler chicks who work over dudes on a regular basis but have met their match with me who works over chicks on a regular basis so we all sort of even each other out.  i can’t even give you all the names of the chicks because some of them are wanted by the law.  this one girl who i have really been seeing quite a lot of is super hot as fuck and really smart but really gangsta as hell and way into really bad drugs.  Met her at a casino in the inland empire.  She is the only one that I have been with more then twice. i also have met two chicks from hemet at the same casino and had sex with one and just cuddled with the other one.  Again not naming names cuz these chicks are sorta like skinhead chicks and they run with a bunch of crazy white power dudes.  I’ve met like three of the dudes and they seem cool and all but there is always that element of danger around them and actually around the girls as well.  I met a half Mexican half white gang banger chick at the same casino and we had a pretty insane adventure that involved me skateboarding at like 4:30 in the morning to the casino gas station to put five bucks gas in this chicks car so her and her three homies could make it home to Beaumont or banning or Yucaipa I’m not sure which one but definitely one of those three.  Anyways I have no record for any kind of drug related offenses and I’m not on parole or probation so I still presumably have my 4^th amendment rights which on this night came in pretty handy.  I was bombing this rad little hill that leads directly into the gas station showing off for this sexy little mama whose name I will say which is heather.  Truly the only reason I was doing this was because for some unknown reason the gas station although physically open was literally closed for ten minutes according to the clerk.  So while we waited I skated.  Makes sense to me.  Well this one cop who had said hi to me like ten hours before while he was patrolling through the casino garage parking lot in his black and white followed me down the hill on my third attempt as I was skating over to this heather chick sitting in the car we were putting gas in.  long story short the cop said he was surprised to see someone skating at this time of the morning which I didn’t give a shit about what he was saying because I wasn’t holding anything illegal and like I said I still have my rights.  I was totally unconcerned even when he asked me if he could peek at my drivers license.  I gladly gave it to him but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that heather was cringing and looking pretty unhappy.  Turns out she had been busted for drugs and a bunch of other shit in 2007 and had been to prison and stuff and so she had search terms which basically for all you laymen means that the cops can tear up all your shit looking for contraband without having any reason whatsoever except that they want to.  This cop was totally cool with me and with heather actually.  But even though they didn’t even search me and basically relegated me to the sidelines where I skated for the next hour, they definitely searched heather and the car she was driving which wasn’t hers.  They found a bunch of checkbooks in the car that one of the homies had come across somehow I have no idea about any of that part of the story since I had just met this chick and we were just flirting and shit in the casino.  Anyways it was Christmas eve so they eventually let her go but it was pretty close to her being hauled off to jail.  Just goes to show you that its pretty important to keep a clean record if you can because it helps when dealing with law enforcement officials.  I never got to stick my dick in that heather chick I think she was  a little jaded about my skating being responsible for her getting hassled by the man but fuck it she is one of many.  And in fact a couple of days after Christmas I met this other heather chick at another casino this time in palm springs and I won’t even tell you the details of what happened but put it this way I met her at 7 pm and I was sticking my cock in her by 8:30 pm and that is no lie and she was a hot little bitch in fact I stuck it in her again on the day after new years so there you go.  Well this is just a little tiny smidgen of an update on whats going on with Anthony mandich hero to the degenerates.  Oh yeah one more thing props to this website I started checking out last night called the dreamin demon.  They have stories of so many fucking assholes who hurt kill destroy and spread their evil around indiscriminately every single day that it makes me feel a lot better about myself.  Man, people are really fucked up motherfuckers.

LiveLeak.com – Don’t turn your back on a prisoner

LiveLeak.com – Don’t turn your back on a prisoner.

 

Damn I wonder what country that is in?  Looks like the dude in the speedo’s could have a career in mixed martial arts????

 

 

Someone literally took a shit on the floor in the High Limit bathroom at San Manuel Casino.

Quite a catchy title.  

Completely true title.  I walked into the aforementioned bathroom Saturday night during UFC 139  and was immediately hit with the stench of rotten beer, beans, cabbage, dirt and moldy velveeta.  In such a confined space, with no windows, and the smell of  Shit with a capital S pervading my nostrils, I had no choice but to piss on the floor in a form of silent protest.  It’s one thing to take my money and not give a rat’s ass about it.  

Subjecting me to the smell of a deranged gambler’s ass after he has gone day after day with nothing but a steady diet of Bud Light, cow shit and San Manuel’s special chili cheesedick dogs is a whore of a whole nother color.  I was not surprised to see an actual shit log sitting about 7 inches to the left of the toilet bowl after I caught wind of the stench that preceded it let me tell you.  That was nasty as hell.  I’ve been noticing all kinds of nasty little things angry gamblers do to reap small helpings of revenge from San Manuel Casino.  Especially San Manuel Casino.  

Many times I’ve seen the toilet itself along with the toilet paper the walls and floor but not the bowl become the resting place for gallon after gallon of drunk angry stinky yellow urine.  A week ago, someone had a bloody something in the same high limit bathroom and must have just stood there bleeding for thirty minutes or so it seemed based on the 2 foot wide puddle of blood I encountered when I walked in to have a moment of respite from the demoralizing, continuously degrading losing streak  that San Manuel has me blindly staggering my way through.  Many times I’ve seen people, mostly guys, intentionally miss the ash tray side of the trash cans.  Instead they opt to throw the lit cigarette inside the trash can hoping it will start a small, smoky fire.

The spittle drenched stogies these derelicto extremus types suck down often find their way, still lit, to the horse hair carpet that covers much of the gulag style  interior of  San Manuel’s Great Hall of Gambling downstairs.  Those times which come quite often on weekends, are a treat for the senses, and a bit of good fun I definitely have partaken in myself.  I’ve seen many examples of drinks such as cranberry juice, ash laden orange juice and beer flavored coffee being deftly and secretly poured into the silver tray under most slot machines or into the slot machine itself, on the rug, into the sand that is supposed to extinguish the cigarettes and pretty much everywhere but in peoples fat camel toed bellies or the trash can.  

Razor blades smuggled in via wives visiting their gambler convict husbands account for many shredded kevlar covered chairs at San Manuel and it does my heart good to see signs of overt and malicious damage like that.  Those chairs are nearly impossible to slice through (or so I’ve been told ha ha ha) and you really have to appreciate the effort that it takes to covertly damage them without being witnessed by the utterly useless, fat ass, piece of shit, rent a cop donkey assholes, otherwise known as Public Safety Officers that patrol the highways and byways of their domain, vigilantly searching for scofflaws and sleeping gamblers.  

Its fun to fuck with the fat ass guards there let me tell you.  I especially love it when they ask you to show them i.d. and you tell them to fuck off and you walk away and out of the casino and they can’t do a single fucking thing about it except mutter incomprehensible threats about how they better not see you again in the next 24 hours or “they” will arrest you.  That’s a laugh you think to yourself as you continue to walk completely untouched out to your car and drive away.  ”if they could have arrested me they would have arrested me but since they are rent a cop, police academy rejects,  all bark and absolutely no bite for anyone with a clue about the 4th amendment, they can’t arrest me now or ever”.  

The foregoing rant is not meant in any way to  convey that the losers like myself who frequent shit hole money burning places like San Manuel and lose their cool to the point of vandalizing the place, are causing the casino anything but a very slight annoyance, and in fact are doing more to harm themselves then to actually hurt the casino in any way.  San Manuel always wins.  But still, Fuck San Manuel, may they roast in hell!!!

Here are some very honest reviews of San Manuel Casino for you to enjoy:

http://www.pocketfives.com/f7/morongo-73893/

http://www.yelp.com/biz/san-manuel-indian-bingo-and-casino-highland#hrid:mS21XuBNx5NRkBHbBGzEhA

here is a picture of an ass i want to eat for days.  i bring it to you in order to break up a little of the vile trash truth that is unfortunately, san manuel casino, the worst casino in the entire world.

http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g32494-d280957-r3696143-San_Manuel_Indian_Bingo_Casino-Highland_California.html

http://krashthrills.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/fuck-me-running/

http://www.casinosca.com/reviews/SanManuel.htm

Here’s a very nice review of San Manuel Casino’s accomodations:

http://www.tripadvisor.com.sg/ShowUserReviews-g32494-d1226669-r117742322-Hampton_Inn_Suites_Highland_Ca_San_Manuel_Village-Highland_California.html

How about a little love for San Manuel’s Ampitheatre, the happiest place on earth?

http://www.yelp.com/biz/glen-helen-blockbuster-pavilion-san-bernardino

This is a really scintillating review of San Manuel Casino:

http://www.videocasinoreview.com/reviews/results.aspx?linlid=238&type=reviews

What I’m really getting at here people is you should stay the fuck away from San Manuel.  All of their games suck bad.  They steal your money.  Straight up.  Its not slander, its purely fact.  Their slot machines are fucking tighter than a gnat’s ass, the waitresses are sea hags from hell, the security guards are fucking neanderthals, the place stinks, the parking structure is like a maze to get out of, the drink service is so abysmal, you might as well stay at home.  If you do go there though, be sure to remember that you have rights and tell them all to suck it hard.

 

a FEW OTHER rANDOM AND uNRELATED THOUGHTS IF yoU CARE TO CONTINUE REaDING.  tHANKS

I was never that into you anyway.  That’s what I tell myself on rainy days in November when you pop into my mind for a fleeting second or two.  

Your money or your life.  Your money and your life.  Your money is your life.  You have no life.  You have no money.  

Gordon Klerks,  Marie Doe, Heather Batchelder, Heather McGovern, J**y R***a…..five people who helped me out today in important ways.  

UFC 139…witnessed inside the buffet hall at San Manuel Casino…was a bargain at only $1,000 USD. Let me say this…anyone betting on Cung Le to defeat Wanderlai Silva was a fool.  I had a deep sense going into that fight that Cung Le, with all of his magnificent striking ability, was going to have his hands full with the intensity of the Silva’s onslaught.  I was correct.  The Muay Thai Clinch that led to Silva’s knee repeatedly smashing Le’s nose was painful to witness even via DirectTV.  I remember a different Silva inflicting the same kind of punishment on Rich Franklin, whose nose ended up pretty much the same way.  

You know, actually, looking back at Rich Franklin’s nose now it doesn’t seem half as bad as it did back then and really nowhere as bad as Cung Le’s smashed piece of crap that used to be a nose looked after he got done getting raped by Wanderlai Silva last night.   Does it really matter though?  I mean really,  I would be literally killed were I to step into the ring with any of those guys so please Mr. Le and Mr. Franklin, believe me I’m only speaking relatively when I’m saying you guys got your asses beat.  You are both still bad ass mother fuckers for sure okay.

***Disclaimer***

Today has been an exercise in patience along with the sheer overwhelming feeling that comes along with self imposed abject poverty due to morbid compulsive gambling, anger management issues, sleep deprivation, forced humility, squandered opportunities and deep regret regarding self control issues and poor decision making.  

 This picture has nothing to do with San Manuel.  But it should:  

pius heinz wins wsop main event

After starting the final table as a short stack this bluffing machine from Germany, heinz caught fire at the right time. he entered Tuesday nights 3 handed finale with the chip lead and promptly saw Ben Lamb spew off the majority of his stack on the first hand with an ill timed all in bet holding king jack off which was called by Martin stazko. Stazkos pocket 7′s held up and Lamb’s hopes for a main event bracelet to top off the world series of a lifetime were all but extinguished. It seemed inevitable when Lamb was officially ousted on the fourth hand of the night…again by Mr. Chess federation expert, the nerdish Czech stupor star stazko.

The battle was then on….it lasted over one hundred hands and the grind of heads up play seemed to be wearing on young heinz. His chip count fluctuated greatly up and down and to my eyes it seemed a near certainty that the older and more patient stazko would eventually take down the hardware.

All of a sudden a huge hand developed on a king ten club flop. A raise of 4 million after the flop was made by heinz. As he had successfully done many times previously in their heads up battle, the wild and woolly Czech nerd king stazko came over the top of our hero heinz with a 3 bet to 11 million. After some boyish hollywooding by heinz he announced he was all in. His propensity to 3 bet light so often earlier in the tournament made stazko’s ill timed call with queen nine of clubs seemingly an easy one. Heinz turned over red ace queen which h meant he was ahead pending a sure to be stressful sweat of a turn and river that needed to be red on the head linear dick on a dog if our pal Pius had any chance of winning the massive 160+ million $ pot and taking the chip lead back from stanzko….by a huge margin.

Well the turn and river were no where close to helping the Czech bastard and he found himself sitting across the table looking up at a truly immense tower of chips in the hands of his maniacally spewy opponent Pius heinz who sealed the deal ten minutes later when he woke up with ace king in a hand where the Czech stazko shoves with 10 7 suited. Heinz made the easy call the board was a piece of shit that did nothing to improve either of the contestants hands thereby making ace high the hand that cemented a rather large first place prize of 8.7 milion US$ for the 22 year old heinz. the win was pretty bad ass and. I want to congratulate Mr. Heinz on a job well done.

If he could send me a thousand for writing such a nice feature story about him that would be so sick.

Surfing in the Sea of Shorts

My friend Josh Erlenmeyer went out of his way to send me seven special texts today to show me how much he cares and loves the man meat.

A          E        S          S        H        O        L     —those were his texts.  Do you think he is trying to tell me something?  Apart from his atrocious spelling, I can glean that he thinks I’m an asshole.  Fair enough.  I want to say something dirty like you are what you eat.  So I will.  You are what you eat.  As long as its clean, female and lovely to look at, chances are I would put my tongue in if invited.  So thanks Josh.

If I were to take the time and energy needed to reply back to Mr. Erlenmeyer it would be:

P      E        N       I       S .  But I don’t have the time to fuck around with lightweight insults with Josh today.  I’m too busy you see.  I’m too busy watching ESPN’s coverage of the 2011 World Series Of Poker Main Event Final Table and working on some 2010 financial statements in support of a client getting audited by the Internal Revenue Service.

So, I went and visited my friend Stephanie Kelly on Sunday.  It was pouring rain, I had just gotten in an altercation with a big fat piece of shit rent a cop dick head security dude at San Manuel and I wasn’t in the greatest of moods.  Stephanie just had a face lift on Thursday so she was looking pretty much like she’d been attacked and beaten to within an inch of her life.  It was crazy actually.  I took some great photos.

You know what that’s all I have for now.  I’ve been super busy preparing for this audit on December 8th.  I also have to write a Freshman Anthropology term paper for the sushi chef from across the street by Thursday.  I’m getting paid $150 for a four page paper on “Comparative Standards of Beauty”.  It shouldn’t be a real problem for me.  After all, when I first got home from New Zealand in 2008 I took an RN class online for this chick Dava at RCC.  She paid me $500 and I had to take all of the tests, write the paper etc.  I got only a B in that class but its not too bad considering it was an Intermediate RN class and I’m not a male nurse.

The WSOP Final Table for 2011 wasn’t overly dramatic.  This kid Pius Heinz started the day in 7th (out of nine) place and he pretty much just ruled it all day long.  Ben Lamb is a killer and bided his time, picked his spots and made it through to tonights Final Three.  Heinz made it through as well and with the overwhelming chip lead.  Stazko who started the final table off with the chip lead made it as well but with only like 22 million.  I give the nod to Ben Lamb to make it all the way through even facing a large chip deficit going into play tonight.  Heinz is a little too spewy in my opinion and will possibly end up donking off a shit load of chips to Lamb and or Stazko.  We shall see.  I can’t wait.  Totally jealous of those fuckers actually.

 

 

just last night I was reminded of just how bad it had gotten and just how sick I had become

I think to myself what a beautiful world it could be if I only thought of someone other than me but I laughed so hard. for me to get crazy blue sky immortal. To make my mark as the good lord intended then earliest time to start following the luminous path would be now. I was right it is always choices in the choices that you make are right here and now it’s about you all that is out now
. Forget fixing yourself and your miserable life get out of your head your selfish fucking head Anthony john Mandich turn or burn