I love talking to my mature (pretty much) emo kid 13 year old daughter Ciara Alabama Mandich. I’m so proud of her and I’m so happy that she’s my kid. She’s so fucking rad. I can talk to her like I talk. Period. And she gets me and understands me and stuff. She’s just the shit man. She’s so smart and so funny and such a smart ass and yet such and emotional sensitive little emo kid. Her and all her friends are the Emo children of the Corn. Yeah, so I like my kid anyways. We got in a fight a while ago cuz she was getting too big for her britches and trying to talk shit on Facebook like my friends and I do to each other. Being disrespectful and just bad which is all good except it points out my flaws as a parent which are bloody numerous and for the world to see which I didn’t like too much. Anyways long story short, a bit of drama ensued which was kinda exhilarating and emotional and kinda fun really. I had to roar like the mother fuckin’ king of the jungle we all know i am. Had to go as far as to defriend my only kid on Facebook. What an inglorious bastard as my old next door neighbor Pete Rause in Wainui Beach, New Zealand used to say. He was like 74 and loved Gin with Lemon and Water. Loved it. We lived right on the sand man it was bad ass. So fucking bad ass. I’m talking a full house too. 3 bedrooms, kitchen living room two baths a huge front yard, a backyard that ended at the ocean. It was unreal. Anyways Peter at first thought I was just a crazy bastard but he grew to love me quickly. I would go over to his house most nights after work and we would have several Gin and Tonics. Well he would have Gin and lemon and water and I would have the Gin and Tonics.
He loved me though and his face would light up with a smile all the time, he had a really nice smile like a little kids in a sense, and when he would catch me grabbing his smokes he would say what are you doing ya bastard? Like bassssssssssstard. It was hot. Usually a couple nights a week some of his golf buddies, these conservative, older New Zealand men would come over for drinks and they just never knew quite what to make of me. Here I am, this movie star hot, tattooed, young American rascal who lived next door to Peter Rause, Gisborne New Zealand’s only professional golfer and certainly the Alpha Male of his group of pals. I had a beauty queen girlfriend, Ariana Parker and I worked as the hotshot cocktail barman at The Tsunami Bar right down the road as you enter Wainui Beach from Gisborne proper. More likely then not I would have been bombing down our long sketchy lose sandy dirty driveway (like 200 yards downhill) in the dark with my shirt off and then coming up every time after narrowly avoiding death in the pitch black and saunter back into Pete’s house, tattooed and shirtless, sweating but looking fabulous and pick up my drink I had left sitting wherever, walk right up to where Peter would be holding court in the living room with the cricket or rugby blaring louder then hell, grab his pack of smokes while he tried to slap my hand and calls me a bastard laughing though with his sycophantic friends watching in awe at the exchanges of admonishments from Pete and laughs from me. They would be incredulous that Peter had let a ruffian such as myself into his home let alone his bottle of South gin and his pack of Stuyvesant Lights. It was an odd pairing to be sure but it was a good pairing too me and Pete. As soon as I walked away to the kitchen to make Peter his next drink (he loved the way I made his simple drinks), I would hear the whispered questions and the loud response, which was always the story of how Pete and I met when in the first couple of nights after moving in, me and some mates had just discovered the driveway skate and we took full advantage, seeing that it was January and the height of New Zealand summer. We would be clanking around at all hours and Pete said at first he just wondered who this BASSSSSTARD was and then he came into the Tsunami Bar where I worked about a week after I moved in and I recognized him and proceeded to pour him Stella after Stella after Stella after Stella for free and thats where Pete started loving Anthony.
Anyways sorry for the quick sideline explanation lol. Where was I? Oh yeah so I had to defriend Ciara cuz she was bad and stuff and in order to regain my friendship and remain a part of my cyber world I asked her to do something I didn’t think for a second she would do. I asked her to write me an essay on Delara Darabi and Lin Zhao, and to tell me why they were her heros.
I was shocked about two hours later, on a Saturday no less, when my hot little bad ass little daughter emailed me two sweet essays, clearly written in her own words, perfectly cohesive and excellently and clearly written. Basically she delivered exactly what I asked for, which was her way of saying sorry and I was only to happy to accept. I love that kid. We have a different relationship but I love that kid.
Sincerely the baddest man you will ever know. Anthony Mandich