I love to data mine. That’s what I call it when a topic
takes over my brain interests me and I spend several days hours tracking down every fucking name involved in the story and putting them through every internet search available to mankind. It becomes an obsession and sometimes its probably not the healthiest of obsessions because as much as I like to joke around about the majority of the shit I read on pysih.com, dreamindemon.com, liveleak.com and every other website, there are certain stories that when I read them, I have to read them over and over just to make sure I have the ludicrous and seemingly ridiculously impossible set of facts down because I just can’t really actually fathom that people supposedly created in God’s image can behave so unspeakably disgusting. These are the stories that anger me greatly. Oh I ballyhoo on and on about “off with his head” and “let me guess….florida” and that sort of shit but for the most part those stories only reach me in a place that’s not too terribly deep not because I don’t care but more for the fact that my soul and heart and mind can only feel so much empathetic pain, disgust in the human race and so on. if you let every story stab touch your inner heart then sadly you are going to end up either an emotional and paranoid and distrustful basket case or an unfeeling emotionless apathetic robot. Every man has his limits. And supposedly, allegedly, God only lets a person suffer what He knows a person can take. I want to deny the essential truth in that statement. I want to scream that its fucking bullshit a lie but I can’t because in my narcissistic personal life which is the only life I have, although i’ve been to some koo-koo/koo-koo extreme places in my head due to insane drug use and sleep deprivation circumstances at a given time, so far the statement has held true. I’ve been able to somehow handle and get past everything life has had to offer good and bad thus far. I’m shocked by grateful for that and selfishly I don’t want to test it by getting myself personally emotionally involved in every single tragedy that I read about on the internet. There are just too many stories. Do you feel me? Too fucking many. I don’t try to pick which ones I’m going to get in an uproar about either. They jump out and abduct me like the aliens in War of the Worlds I just read the initial report, do my research and take it from there. The ones that get me, the ones that i feel have the power to destroy me if i let them are few and far between for the most part. They are the ones that almost immediately get my desire to inflict great bodily injury anger slowly building up, usually because a trusted member of a vulnerable and pretty helpless victim does something horrible that I know caused not only terror and fear and pain for a victim but also bewilderment, confusion and disbelief. Always followed by incomprehensible demoralization and ultimately death. Either a trusted member of a family or a complete and utter stranger. I get really really mad and really really sad. And I just want nothing but their heads exploding in microwave ovens horrible things for the perpetrators of these acts. Before i started being physically unable to turn of the fucking computer staying abreast of these sorts of events i could pretty honestly say that i didn’t hate anybody. No matter who had wronged me I didn’t hate them. I have wronged more people then have wronged me and I don’t feel any specific hatred from anybody so why do I have the right to hate anybody. i don’t. so i didn’t. I know this is a long comment and I’m sorry but I just wanted to say that as a result of my interest in the people of this planet who fall victim to pieces of shit and my empathy for them and furious anger at the ones responsible for their always incredibly sad plight, I can now freely admit that I have added “hate” as one of the everyday emotions that I experience. And it really feels like a thousand needles are stabbing my eyes bums me out. As stupid as this may sound, especially if you personally knew me, I feel like i finally grew up and became a fucking adult a big portion of my innocence that was somehow still intact after all these years of asinine stupidity pretty crazy living has been stolen from me by the monsters that I hate. I just want to list the ones that come to mind when I think about hate and i pray for their “Death by a Thousand Cuts” bad bad things to happen to these people. You may not know them all but who cares I am compelled to force you to hear them want to say them. Its all from memory and perhaps a few fervent peeks at google.com so sorry about any errors. unspJohn Gardner killer of Amber Dubois and Chelsea King. Joseph Smith who killed Carlie Brucia on Super Bowl Sunday. Christoper Collins and his Tubbyass partner David Spears who just fucking defy description with the eakables they did against Rowan Ford. Gertrude, Paula, John Baniszewski, Richard Hobbs and Coy Hubbard who killed that poor, poor, poor girl Sylvia Likens. (really hate them so bad), Skylar Deleon and John Kennedy who killed the Hawkes couple in the Newport Beach yacht case (case absolutely fucking horrifies me the way these two were killed) Harold Braddy the bastard who threw that girl Quatisha Maydock into a swamp nicknamed Alligator Alley for obvious reason. Fucking BASTARD. Raul and Cathy Sarinana from Corona who killed, tortured and so much more. the victim? their nephew Ricky Morales who was 11 fucking years old. Sharon Hinojosa the traitor cunt who betrayed her kids and let them burn to save a shitty relationship with some fucking asshole. Russell Williams the Canadian Air Force colonel dude who killed Marie Comeau and some other chick. Scary fucking twisted non feeling bastard. Stacey Joy Bordeaux who killed one son and caused the other to be basically a brain dead vegetable. Omaina Nelson who killed and dismembered her older husband who loved her and trusted her and got killed for financial reasons just a fucking cunt. Tyler Hadley the little fucking bastard from Florida who killed his parents with a hammer. Fucking asshole. James Troutman a 24 year old sicko fuck who killed this girl named Skylar Kauffman, a cute little girl with the nicest smile you will ever see but who got killed at age nine in a horrific murder/rape/beating. Michael King who randomly kidnapped this lovely young wife named Denise Lee, raped and shot her. For no good reason. To be honest I could go on and on and on and it sucks to have such hatred in my heart for my fellow human beings. But I do. I got a sick and twisted glee out of the fact that Christoper Collings that six foot six tall piece of dufus shit fuck got found guilty of capital murder and i can’t wait until he fries or gets injected or hung or shot or whatever happens to him. I just want him to feel fear and pain and humiliation and confusion. I want him to meet the devil with a mind filled with cobwebs and cottage cheese, whimpering like a broken man. I hate him. Sorry to say it but I do.