Anybody ever heard of the Lifetime Movie Network?

Well if you haven’t let me tell you something, you are really missing out on some great drama.  I watched this movie called “Satan’s School for Girls” with Shannon Doherty the other morning and it was really just compelling and captivating.  They have other great movies too.  It seems like it’s kind of a girly channel because all of the commercials are about special douche treatments and sanitary napkins and stuff but still even if it is geared toward the females, there is no reason why a dude can’t get right into some of those movies.  I remember sitting at home with my girlfriend Christina Schwarz the other night and we were watching this movie about Cinammon Brown and it was really good too.  The dad was a real asshole and he had sex with these 14 and 15 year olds and got them to rob banks and blow up buildings and kill people and shit.  It was fucking rad.  He ended up getting executed at the end.  They hung him.  I didn’t even know that it was still legal to hang people in the United States of America but apparently it is.

There was a movie with Elizabeth Berkley the chick from “Saved by the Bell” and “Showgirls”.  It was totally bad ass.  I forgot the name of it though.  It was about this teacher named Christie Dawson who fully seduces all the students in her class and they have orgies and shit for months and nobody ever finds out until one day the principal of the school walks in the class to deliver some pizzas paid for by one of the parents and finds the whole class naked, eating ass and everything.  Berkley, as Christie, is the ringleader of the whole scene and I guess it was just a big front for some porno ring operating out of Cambodia.  Trippy ass shit.  Totally good movie.  Right there on the Lifetime Movie Network.  Or my LMN as I like to refer to it. 

Thanks for reading.  Enjoy your day.  And no, I did not get paid shit for writing this glowing endorsement of the Lifetime Movie Network.

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