I haven’t written the great American novel. I haven’t written any novels at all. I’m too fucking scatter brained, unfocused, lazy, tragically unprepared and apathetic to get really serious about writing a book. Plus my girlfriend smashed my brand new HP Pavilion laptop back in September of last year. That put a real damper on my cam4 career as well as any true aspirations of becoming a writer of note. My blog was really cool or so I thought but after the whole Aaron Jacob Parsons situation unfolded I kind of grew lazy about blogging too. For a guy with just a wordpress.com blog, I felt like maybe I had reached the pinnacle of my internet glory when I got over 12,000 hits in a day, and all the major sites like Liveleak, Reddit, 4chan, youtube showed the video and also had links to my post.
I wasn’t going to beat that story with my usual fodder thats for sure. Suddenly, “the hottest ass”, “catholic school hotties” and “everything you ever wanted to know about anthony mandich” just didn’t seem like it was going to grab the readers by the throat and hold their interest. It was too depressing to think about going back to 100 hits a day on a good day and I met this chick named Christina, got caught up in her life, realized how shitty and basically unlivable my own life was and just didn’t have time for blogging anymore. There’s no money in it for me that’s for sure. I’m not smart enough to figure out SEO techniques. Hell, I couldn’t even afford to renew krashthrills.com after the initial one year period, forcing me back to a free wordpress.com account. Lame.
You wanna know what’s also lame? I remember back when I was getting hot and heavy about writing posts all the time a couple of years ago how I always thought it was a shame that I was too much of a pussy to really get real about my life and say shit like it is. I would think of the people in my life who would read with horror what life is really like on the streets when you don’t got shit and how they would be so ashamed of me if they knew the kind of life I was living. Well it’s even worse today. There are people, plenty of them, who are haters and who would love to have the kind of dirt on me that I wish I had the balls to provide for them. Unfortunately I am not going to be able to do that and I apologize. I have a job today and I am looking for a better one and I know for a fact that employers look at the internet lives of the people that they are considering hiring and they certainly don’t want to read about how their newest senior accountant just spent the last 70 hours straight at the casino playing Cleopatra Keno instead of resting up and preparing himself mentally for the KPMG audit he has to provide support for starting Monday. That shit doesn’t fly.
I wanna tell you why Lake Elsinore is home to a bunch of pussies anyway. And I will. But it’s 1:41 p.m. and my lunch hour is over. I have packing slips I need to match up with invoices and checks to write and spreadsheets to update before 4:00 p.m. when my real day begins.