Red Card Blues

There is a certain casino in California where the pinnacle of the players club rankings is the Red Card.  Basically it breaks down like this.  When you walk in off of the streets, a newcomer to the casino and you go over to the Players Club sign up section and ask for a player card they will give you a silver card, provided that you have identification.  The card expires July 31st of the current year.  You have that long to work your way through the various levels and wherever you finish by July 31st is where you are going to be for the next six month period.  You get it?  If you manage to play through $50,000 then you will attain Gold Card status.  Gold card status is pretty good.  There are events for the gold card members like I got a cruise given to me and I got my choice of a bunch of appliances and shit like that and ended up settling on this phone charger called a Mophie.  Supposedly that was the most expensive item that day.  You will also get some free play per week maybe like $50 a week along with some EZ Dine money that they give you twice a month like $25  and maybe 4-6 free hotel rooms.  The hotel rooms are the shit.  Its totally free except for a $50 deposit per night which is cash.  Actually that works out good for you too though because if you are staying three days you have to put up $150 which is good in this sense….if you are a degenerate spend every last fucking dime gambler then at least when you check out you have $150 cash money which is a lot if you have been walking around aimlessly for the past day and a half without a penny to your name.  Anyways you are going to be at gold status forever if you are the majority of the guests that come through.  To make it to the next level which is Platinum you have to get past $200,000 total play through and that is a big chunk of change, too big for most people.  I was gold for ten days before I made it to Platinum and I was Platinum for 5 days before I made it to Red.  Anyways Platinum is a good level to be at and its where you really start seeing the benefits of using your card every time you play.  For instance it is fun to go up to the cashier when there is a huge line and go stand in the Red/Platinum line and listen to everybody in the normal line start bitching when the cage supervisor opens up a window just to take care of you.  Same thing at the hotel.

When you are checking in. I look like a bit of a crazy kid with tattoos, usually wearing sunglasses inside, bleach blonde hair sort of like a skater punker or something like that. So when I go to that platinum line even the clerks are looking pretty resentful and doubtful of whether I have done what is necessary to attain that status. Its kinda fun anyway. The buffet line is the longest line in the casino. On the weekends it is fucking insane as in 300-500 deep waiting for hours. Of course as a Platinum or Red card holder you just saunter over to the very front of the line much to the crowds chagrin. They get all upset about it too. Guys cussing at you, old ladies crying, children throwing things and biting their parents, I’ve even seen one older guy take out a shovel he had hidden in his trench coat and smack his wife in the back of the head killing her instantly…all because a young sassy kid like me went to the front of the line. It was crazy, there were all these people yelling Worldstar Worldstar and shit was just going off.

So yeah for the six days I was a platinum club player I certainly enjoyed it very much.

Red card status comes when you pass $350,000 in tier points which doesn’t take that long. Not as long as it may seem. At least for me it didn’t take long. A total of six days but I was on a roll like a big dog and pretty much high as fuck and awake for that whole week. When you are winning it is easy to do that playthrough because obviously you are playing with the casinos money so its not out of the ordinary to play $100 a spin several times in a row or even play on the $100 machine where it is $200 per spin just to play. I’ve won two jackpots on that machine both of them $2,000 so not really that much but I have a friend name Boberto that has won $96,000 and $32,000 and several other ones on that same machine. Once you have red card status the world is your oyster. They have really hot Asian girls waiting for you in your high roller sweets specifically for the purpose of giving you a tongue bath. The Asian tongue bath is a delightful experience and if you have never tried it, I recommend it. Red card status also gives you access to a secret casino within the casino where only red card players can go plus one guest. The mysteries that await you at Club Red Card are exciting and sexual in nature for the most part they also give away money to all who enter through its hallowed doors. A helluva place all while it lasted

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