The Sound of Birds Squawking Loudly In the Background


seagullAvondra is asleep right now and I’m sitting here in the dark. I have been on some website where they have people racing against each other to see who can type various paragraphs the fastest. Usually you go up against 4 or 5 people and wait to get the green light before you all start at the same time and just type until you have finished whatever crappy yet profound pearl of literature they have put there for you.   Just so you can get a little idea what I’m talking about say for example you had to type the first stanza or so of a dirty joke like:  Hickory dickory dock This bitch was suckin my cock The clock struck two I dumped my goo And dumped her to the end of the block. And whatever idiosyncrasies that existed in the original literature have to be replicated on this test which makes it super bullshittish when you get into something like what I just used as an example with the capital T of This bitch right in the middle of the sentence or leaving off the g in the word sucking to give it more street credibility. Shit like that. Anyways I’ve done something like exactly 111 of these these races with an average time of 56 words per minute, a record time of 77 words per minute and I’ve flat out won 34 times out of 111 tries. I’m not making a judgment about whether I rule as typist of suck hard I’m just passing the mundane details of what’s going on right now over to you since some of you fucking people seem to relish reading mundanity. Whatever floats your boat. By the way if this sounds like drudgery defined that’s because it is and I hate myself a lot of the time and feel the need to punish myself for doing some stupid fucking things like collecting $1,900 in a twelve hour period through means both nefarious and honorable and then pissing away each and every dollar on a slot machine I never play especially in the dollar slots and in fact I’ve had some horrific experiences with even on the penny machine level while playing at the Fantasy Springs Casino in Indio by my mom’s trailer park. So what possessed me to sit there and fuck off nearly two grand on this stupid shit is beyond me. All I know is that I have to make myself suffer because of it which is the reason why I was entering typing races in the middle of the afternoon in the dark in my hotel room while my daughter Avondra slept and both of us listened to the sounds of waves crashing and seagulls squawking and presumably fucking, fighting and dying which is the way of the world is it not?

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