My Friend Jim Waataja
I really like this guy named Jim I said to myself back in 1996 when I went with this lady named Heather Batchelder to his warehouse headquarters for Slave Snowboards right there off the 55 and Dyer in Santa Ana. I was this sort of metrosexual wanna be cool guy living in Newport Beach like a fag dude listening to Soundgarden and shit and basically I had lost my way in life a bit to be honest. Anyways I met Jim because Heather who was this chick I was all enamored with at the time wanted to go there to get some weed off Jim because Jim had the best weed. I don’t give that much of a rat’s ass about weed but I wanted to touch Heather’s pussy with my tongue so any time I could hang out with her I did. She made it clear that I was a dork for the most part and she just kinda tolerated me because I had a convertible BMW and I was pretty hot and I think she knew that I was pretty bad ass really but I was just a bit of a slutty boy. She called me a fucking Newport whore were her exact words and I remember I wrote a song about it too. Something like “in her room you’re on the floor you fucking little Newport whore”….that shit was funny. Anyways we went to that warehouse where Jim had some crazy ass fools hanging around him. Specifically Rene “Stick Dog” Prospero who is to this very day one of the goofiest motherfuckers I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Stick Dog was an awesome naturally gifted athlete. Things like skateboarding and surfing and snowboarding he completely shredded without even trying. It made me pretty sick. He was just a kid like 19 and full of pimples and shit and he had this punk rock girlfriend named Tara who was and is so sexually hot as fuck . She was really good friends with Heather and they would often get completely wasted on Jack Daniels together. Anyways also living or squatting or something at the warehouse was Richie Schmidt. Richie is famous to me for a couple of things…one is that he got kicked in the jaw by Gianni Cass and it like totally fucked his jaw up. The second thing is that he had a huge cock apparently. Richie is a cool guy but a moron at the same time. We can’t forget about Brian Mank who was Jimmy’s right hand man and a skinny oddly shaped alien like being with a massive forehead but a kind heart. Who else was there? I’m thinking maybe Chris Franz a goofy kid at the time but a very responsible sober person these days and maybe some other people like Dirt Doug and Rob the Electrician. All these fools just creepy crawling around a dark strangely decorated weed smelling warehouse in Santa Ana. I didn’t talk much to Jim that time but I remember him being some sort of Asian but also like cool at the same time with old ass levi’s, black skate shoes like es or emerica and a wife beater with a joint always in his hand and a full head of swarthy dog black hair and a little weppy goatee. I don’t know exactly why we started hanging out but it was really cool that we did. Jim was a partner in this cool skateboard clothing company called TSA. The other partner was a guy name Mac which is really short for Miguel Angel Cabada. Now he is called Angel and has been ever since he got out of prison for running this dude over in Huntington Beach this one time and then ditching his Range Rover which according to the authorities showed consciousness of guilt. Anyways Jim was running Slave Snowboards and trying to really get that going while at the same time handling all the production for TSA and I was between jobs I think or something anyways I ended up getting a job at TSA as the accounting manager which was fucking awesome. Okay so that’s Chapter 1 of My friend Jim Waataja also known as lip lip boy. I’m writing this because he was found to be cancer free today so I’m very happy to start our memoirs.