that sounded good to me (the title of this) because that is what it feels like i am doing. not heading backwards at breakneck speed on a collision course with death. not even. more like a leisurely balloon ride to the land of permanent mediocrity. just hustling up the cash to survive on a daily basis, never getting up too much and never getting so desperate that i feel like i need to do something stupid. its not really that bad if you don’t mind going nowhere overall in fact overall going backwards just a little bit at a time. still fighting though. one area that i have been kicking ass is seems to be my running. i started running or jogging or whatever you want to call it a couple of months ago. lets set the record straight by saying that i have liked running for a long time and there have been lots of different periods in my life where i have taken up running. somehow though i always end up stopping doing it for some reason. well the reason is that i stop caring. its a word called apathy. i hate that apathy concept. but anyways this time even as a homeless vagrant hotel dwelling guy, i have still been running nearly every day since october 11th, 2015. and i have really improved greatly its really fucking cool. now i can run 6 miles in less than 54 minutes. i have also done 10 miles in less than 100 minutes. both times are quite significant to me. right now my goal is to get 5 miles in 40 minutes but i don’t think i will get even close to that anytime soon. it is hard enough to get 5 miles in 45 minutes. the 8 minute per mile pace is fucking hard. i love running though. i really do. its so insanely cool. especially late late at night like at 3 a.m. its spooky at that time. i run in temecula alot and if you cruise down winchester from jefferson to where it dead ends its really spooky and desolate. its easy to imagine wolves or bears or mountain lions waiting out there wanting to kill me or serial killer bums waiting to rape me then kill me. so far i have been okay but who knows what the future holds. the last time i went running was at midnight last night (boxing day 2015). i did 6 miles in 53:47. i was tired yet elated like usual. it makes you feel superior to others. also it makes you feel like every day you run you are adding two days to the end of your life. i think that is really cool formula since i am an older man now i want to extend out my boring life as long as possible. there is a pretty cool app on my phone called runtastic that basically gps tracks you on your runs and gives you all kinds of statistics and shit while you are running and then compiles it all for you so you can see the progression of your runs and see how bad ass you are. all this talk about running is getting me pumped up to go running right now so fuck it i am going to go running and shit.