Posts by krashthrills

In 2017 the author, aging so slowly that whispers began to permeate regarding his nefarious dealings with the devil, decided that it was time to call in all of the favors he had managed to squirrel away over a decade of decadance and begin his own personal crusade to wring out every drop of life from his life, becoming a hero of some kind and getting all the chicks, while saving the world. To be honest the details were a little sketchy still but the combination of PMA, boner pills, a harsh workout regimen and tons of mangos was beginning to become impossible to ignore and fascinating to be a part of. You are lucky enough to enter this sordid yet enthralling world with Anthony X. Mandich, and at the very least, bear witness to his indomitable spirit, dashing good looks, plethora of lady callers and fierce fighting skills in the coming months. Allegations of impropriety between Anthony X. and Dracula's bride still persist but in this day and age a simple vampire encounter resulting in immortality is not interesting or controversial enough to make the jaded citizenry of the greater Los Angeles area even take notice of let alone talk about and this allows for Mr. Mandich and his cohorts to enjoy some much appreciated anonymity while the details of his crusade are being finalized

Final Fantasy XV: A New Empire

I have never been a gamer.  I don’t even really know what a gamer is.  At least I didn’t think I did.  As a youth growing up in the late 70’s and early 80’s I will admit I loved video games.  I was pretty good at them but certainly not a standout on any one game.  Donkey Kong, Pac Man, Tempest, Tron and Defender are games that I remember getting into.  I liked them all but never really LOVED any of them.  Not to the point of obsession common back then and certainly not to the point of quasi religious adoration prevalent among the psychotic kids growing up today.

The advent of the internet has changed everything in a big way for everybody alive basically.  Everything seems to be that much larger than life compared to the good old days which wasn’t that long ago and weren’t that good.  People seem to get really stuck on strange fucking things these days.  Its totally easy to see why.  The long and short of it is what I think of as content.  For me that means that there is so much different shit to do in this world that is available to every Tom Dick and Harry that it truly boggles the mind.  When I was a 16 year old wanna be punk rocker, bitch magnet, druggie we just didn’t have the plethora of choices on how to spend our time that the lucky little pricks growing up today have.

Its actually fucking insane if you want to be truthful.  gEEZ.  I can see that  I could rant about the bloody past versus the entitled present to the verbal vomit stage … for sure.

I can exercise enough self control (hopefully)  to be able to get to the intended before the second edit of this write up is complete.  But before I do  (here’s a word from our sponsor…lol jk).  Really, before I do, I have to at least expound  on this shit a little bit more.

I was saying that people get stuck on all kinds of bizarre stuff in this day and age.  To the casual observer of pretty much any topic, activity, lifestyle, habit, hobbie, compulsion, obsession, whatever the case may be, at first glance, everything seems pretty much like everything else.

How often have you heard about the next big this or that and basically said “fuck that”, wrote it off dismissively and wondered how stupid the people clattering on about whatever the fuck the topic is are?

Dude seriously.  Go back to the sentence above you and read it again.  Maybe even read it out loud.  Slow it down and try to follow my line of reasoning.  Pay particular attention to the fact that I just typed 37 words into a sentence about literally nothing or everything and that….it made perfect fucking sense.  If this is you you should immediately just punch yourself in the fucking face.  No…don’t do that.  But you should be at least a little bit scared for your life and your future.  Once I start making sense to you its like you just walked past that point wherever that point is in life where there is that little sign that says that all hope is lost for those who walk past this point.

As an aside, briefly, lol, I believe that the saying I am attempting pathetically to refer to in the above paragraph is “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here”.  It was written in the 14th century by Dante Alighieri and the analysis that I just read in reference to these seven words is actually fascinating and very very relevant to my life.  I strongly encourage you to click on that link and read for maybe 2 to 3 minutes.  I’m not compelling you to do so, however you might be surprised how closely the topic relates to your journey nearly 800 years after it was first written.  

Okay bringing everything back home, the challenge of any author worth a fuck… my point so far is that we as people are quick to dismiss most new things that we come across.  We do so for a variety of different reasons but I think, that for me, its usually because I am already overwhelmed by the wonderful plethora of fascinating content already available to me, that I haven’t  even scratched the surface of to begin with.  So, I tell myself that I don’t need something else to get stuck trying to learn about.  To be really honest, that train of thought is probably the correct train to come aboard.  Limitless imaginations, finite constraints.  We can only do so much as mortal human beings.  We are limited by mortality, lack of free time and many other things.

Listen pal, you are never going to have enough time to finish anything in your life to your complete satisfaction (with many notable exceptions which we don’t want to get stuck itemizing right now).

Cliche time.

Life is a journey.  Nobody can argue that shit.  Everything is in process of being completed.  Nothing ever seems to really get there.  Except for lots of unwanted things lol.  Like the end of your job because you got fired.  How about the end of your life because you got killed?  Not really a welcome event for most of us.

Many things seem to be never ending.  Relationships you have with the other human beings you meet along the way often never really completely end.  Instead they just change over time.   Closure seems to be pretty difficult for most people to attain.

True understanding is something that humans don’t get.  Yet.  Maybe.  I am  hoping that the many mysteries inherent in every single thought that humans think are going to get explained to us someday, preferably in a cool little spot called the after life.  Heaven?  Such a lovely and amazing concept.

Maybe.  Maybe not.  I can’t get that deep today.  I do have some hope for it though.  Which means I have some hope for our lives meaning more than they seem to mean right now which is not all that much that really fucking matters to anyone, yourself included.

Fervent hope bordering on insane belief.

Don’t dismiss anything.  Ever.   Don’t scoff.  Or hate on stuff.

You don’t have to write a term paper on every single topic that presents itself to you during the course of your life.  But don’t just outright dismiss anything either.  That’s the conclusion I want you to reach from what I have written today.

I wonder if I came anywhere close.

Fuck it.


unfortunately we did NOT get to talk about Final Fantasy XV, A New Empire today.  Its coming though.  Very soon.  But I gotta go right now. But I am coming back in a little while to continue this cuz I gotta tell you some stories.

Oh yeah.  And also too.  Anthony Mandich.  Can you say Anthony Mandich?


Asian Pranks


Time Flies

Life as I know it is going to be over before I know it.  I am not ready for life to be over.

I haven’t really even gotten started yet.

My list of To-Do’s is only growing.  It never shrinks.  I don’t even work and yet I still can’t keep up with the seemingly endless number of people I need to speak to, issues I need to resolve, property I need to dispose of etc.

All of which is important only in my own mind.

The world and her people do not give a fuck about my life, my issues and what I want to make sure and accomplish by the time I die.  No single person is big enough to have a material impact upon the world so who am I kidding by pretending to myself that my legacy is important to anyone but myself?

This lady I know named Stephanie Kelly has told me several times that its not about me and that I should stop worrying so much about having myself inserted into the center of everything.  She is right of course.  I’m just not a significant enough individual to where I can have any kind of claim to making a contribution to mankind or the planet or anything of meaning.

I certainly haven’t broken any new ground in any of my endeavors to date.  That’s not to say that I don’t have a chance to do accomplish things that will make my life count even after I die.  It is  just unlikely that I will be able to do so.

Self delusion has been key in making me believe that the best days of my life are still ahead of me.  Sadly, they are not.  That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the time I have left.  It does mean though that its time to take a realistic look at my life and narrow down the massive number of relevant topics in my life.

In other words, come up with a simpler vision of what I want to get done, with a realistic plan on how to accomplish it.  Then start ticking things off of a list.  I am going to give this whole idea the rest of this month of April 2018 to percolate in my brain and starting May 1st, 2018 I will begin putting thoughts to paper.

Hopefully there can be some good things happening as a result of this process.


Thanks for reading.


Comment Section of My Internet Life II

on Houston Elementary School Principal Arrested On Drug Charges 03/23/12 07:06 PM

Well here is another genius who seems to be a few grams short of a pound. Interesting to note that she is an educator in Texas. I would have thought she would have been a better fit at someplace like Roosevelt Academy in the Polk County School District. I’ll give you one guess what state Roosevelt Academy is located in.

on Man Calls 911 Because Wife Wouldn’t Let Him Browse Facebook Alone 03/23/12 06:59
Domestic turkeys have been known to drown in a heavy rain shower because they didn’t realize that it would be dry and safe inside their hutches! Others are so brainless that they can’t even remember how to eat, and must be fed by the farmer.
Seriously this guy Hardwick’s driveway doesn’t quite reach the road. I’m stupefied and actually less intelligent now then I was before I read this article.

on Man Calls 911 Because Wife Wouldn’t Let Him Browse Facebook Alone 03/23/12 06:51
I am just curious. Is this “person” a real human being? I only ask that because in his booking photo he looks somewhat like a marionette puppet. Combine that with the fact that he has to be literally the stupidest fucking moron jackass clueless breadcrumb brained idiot savant I have ever even heard of, then throw in the buzzword “Florida” into it, and all of a sudden I’m thinking some kind of low level alien being or perhaps he is actually a domestic turkey in disguise as a human?

on Mother Accused Of Choking Infant Six Times While In Hospital 03/23/12 11:17 AM

I remember a similar case where some black chick from Texas name Shaniqua Scott or something like that did the same fucking thing and she got 25 Years! I hope for the same here. If not more for being so stupid.

on Naked Home Invader Shot By Police 03/23/12 09:03 AM

This is my pistol
this is my gun
this is for fightin
this is for fun.
I think he might have forgot which one was for fun

on Has Hailey Dunn Been Found? 03/23/12 05:43 AM
When I first saw the title for some reason in my delirious state of mind I was thinking that maybe she had been found alive and that the reason for the question was that maybe she was in a cult or something and refused to give her real name. As far fetched as that may sound it sure sounds a hell of a lot better then what appears to be the reality. Sorry for Hailey having to miss out on 70 plus years of life just so someone could have a few minutes of sick sexual gratification. If the goofy looking step dad did it well at least they live in texas a state that is pretty good at erasing killers from the planet earth.

on Police Say 8-Year-Old Consented To Sex On School Bus 03/23/12 05:34 AM
kids will be kids lol..hahahaa just kidding. castrate the little 13 year old romeo? shit whatever maybe the cops are right just let this one die. they are both under 14 so really neither can consent to shit but its pretty hard to say the 13 year old is a rapist if the 8 year old said hell yeah lets do it (presumably in american sign language) and did you see those kids? the eight year old is taller then the 13 year old and outweighs him by at least 15 pounds. i’m sure she could take him an mma fight.


on Christopher Collings Convicted of First-Degree Murder of Rowan Ford 03/23/12 04:06
I love to data mine. That’s what I call it when a topic interests me and I spend several hours tracking down every fucking name involved in the story and putting them through every internet search available to mankind. It becomes an obsession and sometimes its probably not the healthiest of obsessions because as much as I like to joke around about the majority of the shit I read on this and every other website, there are certain stories that when I read them, I have to read them over and over just to make sure I have the ludicrous and seemingly ridiculously impossible set of facts down because I just can’t really actually fathom that people supposedly created in God’s image can behave so unspeakably disgusting. These are the stories that anger me greatly. Oh I ballyhoo on and on about “off with his head” and “let me guess….florida” and that sort of shit but for the most part those stories only reach me in a place that’s not too terribly deep not because I don’t care but more for the fact that my soul and heart and mind can only feel so much empathetic pain, disgust in the human race and so on. if you let every story touch your inner heart then sadly you are going to end up either an emotional and paranoid and distrustful basket case or an unfeeling emotionless apathetic robot. Every man has his limits. And supposedly, allegedly, God only lets a person suffer what He knows a person can take. I want to deny the essential truth in that statement. I want to scream that its a lie but I can’t because in my personal life which is the only life I have, although i’ve been to some extreme places in my head due to circumstances at a given time, so far the statement has held true. I’ve been able to somehow handle and get past everything life has had to offer good and bad thus far. I’m grateful for that and selfishly I don’t want to test it by getting myself personally emotionally involved in every single tragedy that I read about on the internet. There are just too many stories. Do you feel me? Too fucking many. I don’t try to pick which ones I’m going to get in an uproar about either. I just read the initial report, do my research and take it from there. The ones that get me, the ones that i feel have the power to destroy me if i let them are few and far between for the most part. They are the ones that almost immediately get my anger slowly building up, usually because a trusted member of a vulnerable and pretty helpless victim does something horrible that I know caused not only terror and fear and pain for a victim but also bewilderment, confusion and disbelief. Always followed by incomprehensible demoralization and ultimately death. Either a trusted member of a family or a complete and utter stranger. I get really really mad and really really sad. And I just want nothing but horrible things for the perpetrators of these acts. Before i started staying abreast of these sorts of events i could pretty honestly say that i didn’t hate anybody. No matter who had wronged me I didn’t hate them. I have wronged more people then have wronged me and I don’t feel any specific hatred from anybody so why do I have the right to hate anybody. i don’t. so i didn’t. I know this is a long comment and I’m sorry but I just wanted to say that as a result of my interest in the people of this planet who fall victim to pieces of shit and my empathy for them and furious anger at the ones responsible for their always incredibly sad plight, I can now freely admit that I have added “hate” as one of the everyday emotions that I experience. And it really bums me out. As stupid as this may sound, especially if you personally knew me, I feel like a big portion of my innocence that was somehow still intact after all these years of pretty crazy living has been stolen from me by the monsters that I hate. I just want to list the ones that come to mind when I think about hate and i pray for bad bad things to happen to these people. You may not know them all but who cares I want to say them. Its all from memory so sorry about any errors. John Gardner killer of Amber Dubois and Chelsea King. Joseph Smith who killed Carlie Brucia on Super Bowl Sunday. Christoper Collins and his Tubbyass partner David Spears who just fucking defy description with the unspeakables they did against Rowan Ford. Gertrude, Paula, John
Baniszewski, Richard Hobbs and Coy Hubbard who killed that poor, poor, poor girl Sylvia Likens. (really hate them so bad), Skylar Deleon and John Kennedy who killed the Hawkes couple in the Newport Beach yacht case (case absolutely fucking horrifies me the way these two were killed) Harold Braddy the bastard who threw that girl Quatisha Maydock into a swamp nicknamed Alligator Alley for obvious reason. Fucking BASTARD. Raul and Cathy Sarinana from Corona who killed, tortured and so much more. the victim? their nephew Ricky Morales who was 11 fucking years old. Sharon Hinojosa the traitor cunt who betrayed her kids and let them burn to save a shitty relationship with some fucking asshole. Russell Williams the Canadian Air Force colonel dude who killed Marie Comeau and some other chick. Scary fucking twisted non feeling bastard. Stacey Joy Bordeaux who killed one son and caused the other to be basically a brain dead vegetable. Omaina Nelson who killed and dismembered her older husband who loved her and trusted her and got killed for financial reasons just a fucking cunt. Tyler Hadley the little fucking bastard from Florida who killed his parents with a hammer. Fucking asshole. James Troutman a 24 year old sicko fuck who killed this girl named Skylar Kauffman, a cute little girl with the nicest smile you will ever see but who got killed at age nine in a horrific murder/rape/beating. Michael King who randomly kidnapped this lovely young wife named Denise Lee, raped and shot her. For no good reason. To be honest I could go on and on and on and it sucks to have such hatred in my heart for my fellow human beings. But I do. I got a sick and twisted glee out of the fact that Christoper Collins that six foot six tall piece of dufus shit fuck got found guilty of capital murder and i can’t wait until he fries or gets injected or hung or shot or whatever happens to him. I just want him to feel fear and pain and humiliation and confusion. I want him to meet the devil with a mind filled with cobwebs and cottage cheese, whimpering like a broken man. I hate him. Sorry to say it but I do.

on Husband Accused Of Knocking Out Wife With A Pineapple 03/22/12 11:17 AM

Exactly how the fuck do you knock someone unconscious with a pineapple? I can’t imagine that one smack upside the head would do it, would it? Seems like he would have had to beat her upside the head with the thing for quite a while.


on Woman Stabbed Man Because She Was Sick Of Cooking For Him 03/22/12 11:07 AM
Do I even have to ask if this manly man beast of an ugly ass peroxide headed no make up wearing she male is from Florida? No I didn’t think so.
Her picture is making me vomit in my mouth….
Just a little….

on Woman Gets Prison Time For Killing Son With Meth-Laced Breast Milk 03/22/12 11:05
I speak from experience when I say unequivocally that meth users do not partake only
“a couple of times a week” . Its a daily drug and she is full of shit. If she really could stick to that schedule then why would she do it at all, knowing that she is fucking lactating and feeding her baby tainted breast milk? I’m all for the use of drugs if you can use responsibly. That being said, this bitch is giving tweekers a bad name hahahahahaha.
Oh yeah….off with her head.

on Two Men Arrested Aboard Gay Cruise for ‘Buggery’ 03/22/12 10:59 AM
The gaiety of this is just too much for me to take. I believe that all pickle sniffin’ should go on behind closed doors. I don’t have anything against turd burglars in general but I just don’t want to be a witness to any pillow biting while out for a friendly snorkle on some crazy island somewhere. All man lovers please don’t hate me for being beautiful……



Dead Man’s Feet (formerly: Feet Like A Dead Vietcong Soldier)

feetNote to self:  refrain from scrubbing tubs, tables, walls, floors, sinks and buckets over the course of two to three days of delirious stopping and starting under the red hot sun while wearing cotton socks and Nike Running Shoes unless you want to be forcibly and very involuntarily awakened from said delirium purely due to the shock both visual and olfactory of your feet when you finally do have to remove the socks and shoes in order to make it to a prearranged appointment.

I’m sitting in the bathroom on my laptop typing this and I’m still trying to come to grips with how closely the smell inside this small enclosed bathroom matches  the terrifying stench that burned my nasal passages that Thursday morning in September, 2002 at my penthouse in Downtown Long Beach. I allowed a homeless African American drug addict named Kevin to get cleaned up in my bathroom.  I really have no idea what he got up to in my bathroom but I do know the pad smelled like death for days after.

And now I’m starting to panic, hoping that nobody else gets a whiff of the sour, C02 poisoned air  and realizes that I, Anthony X Mandich, am responsible for their discomfort and possible death.  It just would go down like a shit shake and definitely serve to hasten my already imminent “invitation to get the fuck out.”

My feet smelled like rained on rotten trash when I peeled off my shoes and socks a few hours ago.  I washed my feet diligently however the shoes themselves  are still sitting on the tiled floor not three feet from where I hurriedly banging away at this story.

I’m afraid that it will be impossible to wear those shoes again without subjecting myself to an indescribably heinous experience forged in Hell by Satan’s demons especially for my enjoyment.

Fucking gross.

No matter how engrossed  in my work I am, in the future, once the feet get wet and I am wearing socks and Nikes, they need to be taken off and disinfected immediately.  The alternative is bad enough that if John Monceaux, my cousin and the man who owns this house that I call home, happens to walk anywhere near this bathroom before I remove the offending shoes from  the house, I will be homeless once again.

With that being said, I am going to sign off of this post and hopefully rectify the situation voluntarily.  Thanks for reading and stay tuned for stank updates.


The DAze and KNights by Anthony MaNDiCH



Some fucking scum rapes your sister and laughs about it, okay, and the police do nothing about it.  Meanwhile, your sister can’t live with the shame of having been raped by this piece of shit so she blows off her own  head.  She leaves behind a few kids and adults with terrible memories but her suicide invalidates her life insurance so she leaves behind a confusing legacy but no cash.  Mr. Fucking Scum still walks the streets and his cockiness and the apparent joy he feels from causing pain is starting to really piss you off.  A couple of months goes by and you are moving on with your life.  It is a Saturday night, end of winter so still very cold but somehow you have a female that seems to want to hang out so you two hit downtown for dinner then begin a half hearted attempt to drink each other into oblivian.  A pub crawl is hastily thrown together.  Everything seems to be moving too fast as usual.

The combination of 4 Jaeger bombs, two shots of Patron and a huge Long Island Iced Tea mixed by a very heavy handed bartender at Stellar Bar sees you teetering on the edge of being fucking wasted as shit.  However there are 5 more hours until 2:00 a.m. and you have zero chance of continuing to drink at this breakneck speed and not blacking out and experiencing  your own personal Hangover, so…..   That conclusion leads to  two very furtive “hot rails” in the bathroom of The Odd Duck.

As you snort the crudely crushed pile of meth through the bowl end of the oil burner you picked up from Cheap Cigs! for $3, and that burning sensation from the vaporized crystal hits you as you blow out a giant white cloud of vapor smoke stuff the drunk and out of control version of yourself is giving way to a quieter, more systematic and serious minded you.  Time seems to slow way down and now you have almost an unfair advantage it seems.

Your mind is spitting out a random series of problems and solutions quickly.  Every situation is analyzed in nano seconds giving you plenty of time to react accordingly and you do.  The change is noticeable to your date.  So is the felony ring under your left nostril.  You excuse yourself to run back into the bathroom and quickly freshen up.  Six feet from the door you just happen to look to your left out a window which affords a view of the sprawling wasteland which used to be your mind when something out of the corner of your minds eye screams for help and you suddenly have this crystal clear premonition that Mr. Fucking Scum is out there and some girl is about to die.

Without going into a massive amount of detail…the efforts of Mr. Fucking Scum to rape and pillage on this night are thwarted.  You enlist the help of a couple of very tough looking Mongols sitting at the end of the bar and head out to save the damsel in distress who turned out to be a very scared very young and very pretty junior college student from nearby ___________-_________.  Mr. Fucking Scum is beaten  nearly to death at the hands of the bikers. He is moaning like a dead man in a growing puddle of his own blood as the crowd begins to disperse.  Everybody hopes he dies in fact nobody has even called the _________ Police Department yet.  Its going to be several hours before a drunk looking pair of EMT’s finally arrive on the scene to provide the villian with cursory emergency care.  He is more conscious of his surroundings as he is being loaded and I can’t escape the gaze of his bruised cornea.  Confusion over his night being turned around so abruptly by the appearance of bikers with 2x4s  and brass knuckles gives way to a sudden realization on his part that provenance had a much more limited role in the girls rescue than he first imagined.  I can see him finally put it all together when he sees me. I know I’ve been made at this point so my attempts at being a wallflower  were immediately curtailed.

There is an evil glint in his eyes as I shuffle slowly by him.  An evil glint and a slack jawed dazed look, like he’s not there.  He isn’t there.  I can tell that the rest of the crowd in some way  recognizes that Fucking Scum is present in body only.  The lump of meat, bloodied and bleeding accompanies the cops to lock up.

I know its not the intro completed but hopefully its the beginning of a blueprint  detailing specific action steps completed and needed to have my wildest set of dreams for my life simply come true.  For me it all started with the take down of Fucking Scum and the next several years  make up the most interesting period of my life.

As a Hidden Vigilante.

hbo on my phone; its fucking awesome dude

technology today is sort of mind blowing. new products come out every day and they seek to replace the prior model which just came out itself seemingly days ago. trying to stay on top of the latest and greatest gadgetry is an exercise in futility that will suck you dry financially. its not just tech ology either. its everything we encounter in life. shit is always changing and there is always something that you use that is changing, some new procedure you have to remember, new style that the cool kids are embracing, new bands everything. if you wanna survive in society today then you need to be incredibly flexible. you can’t get hung up on anything because its all so transitory. (i hope that is the word) unless you have just a ton of free time how are you going to stay on top of technologys latest trends or stay abreast of tomorrows fashion faux paux? in the absence of unlimited free time how does the average 40 year old stay relevant ?

pretty lofty topic this is turning out to be but definitely one that seems, dare i say…relevant. i can’t imagine how strange this world would seem to a time traveler from the past. that would be a truly interesting documentary to watch. which conveniently gets me back to the subject i started writing about to begin with. that being how cool it is to have hbo on my phone.

so basically a lady i met at the casino of all places was the one who actually turned me on to the whole phenomenon of having cable tv on your phone. i had heard of it before sort of. back when i used to live on franklin street in elsinore and we had cable i remember there being an option to use your email address affiliated with the directv account and somehow watch football on the phone. it sounded pretty unlikely to me then but the basic idea was already there. like i already said technology is amazing. when i used to be actively searching for jobs as a senior accountant i always wondered about some of these tech companies that made an application or a product that seemed way out there to me like how could this shit ever catch on because nobody had all the components necessary to make the shit work. i guess i am talking about the early days of instagram, twitter, facebook, facebook messenger even texting. like you could have this shit like messenger that has the capability to do all the shit it does which is amazing and totally relevant now that everybody has messenger but back then it was like fuck messenger nobody is on that shit. fast forward to 3 years ago and messenger is starting to become my number one spot to pick up girls get laid etc. who would have thunk it?

well, people who are smarter than me, with more vision than me, more self confidence than me and more god given sense than me for starters. its technology. and the reason you can make free video calls to anyone in the world with a wifi connection thats technology too. everyone brings their little piece of the puzzle to the table. each component or app or whatever the fuck. all of those people have little start up companies funded by venture capitalists who are hoping that they are putting their money in the right startup that has some fundamental piece of say messenger for instance or makes the program that puts those snapchat doggy faces on girls faces in video chats or some crucial piece of the end product we as consumers see on our list of apps you cant delete from your phone when you buy it. if they have something crucial suddenly this startup this venture capitalist, some rich bastard sunk a million bucks into is now being sold to facebook for 17 billion dollars.

happens all the time.

back to me and hbo. so this lady meredith i met at pechanga a few years ago who was rolling on the gambling big time and allowed me to share in the fruits of her success was randomly run into again at my friend tracys house in elsinore. poor tracy is currently incarcerated in los angeles which totally sucks. but 2 years ago she was living in elsinore and i used to hang out at her house alot because i was basically homeless myself. i am a runner now and i was a runner then and i would leave to go running from tracys house then take a shower and whatever at her house. it was fun because alot of people partied over there and they always tripped out on me running.

the whole spectacle of me was an interesting sidenote to tracy and myself and lots of other people that passed through that place.

anyhow….meredith was there one time offering people to put cable on peoples phones for free. people that frequented tracys sometimes didnt have phones or they switched them all the time or only had access if someone had wifi or whatever….they were more into getting high than worrying about meredith babbling about cable on cell phones.

i wasn’t though. she explained that she got this user name rh1124 and password nicholash112112 for optimum cable (new jersey) and all you had to do was download the optimum app on googleplay, sign in and use that portal as a launching pad to watch every channel the real rh1124 person was authorized to watch. (supposedly her sisters neighbor or some shit) i figured that it was just a home cable account and it was. i never imagined that password holding up for long but it did. having access to watch cable that someone actually paid the bill for is a win win in my book. hurts absolutely nobody, their is no theft taking place really. the people are not being affected in any way. their bills are not going up. nothing. these people are cable fanatics. they have six boxes and a monthly bill of $300 which they always pay. these days the password doesnt work. they changed it about 6 months ago so i lost fox sports showtime amc starz and every other channel.

except hbo.

hbo was already signed in on my phone and for some reason just keeps on working. 2 full years now. if i had to reinstall hbo i would lose it. i cant switch phones either. so its going to end eventually. but for now….hello Game of Thrones, Room 104, The Wire, The Sopranos, The Deuce, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Girls, The Left Overs, The Night Of, Vice, Championship Boxing, thousands of movies. hbo on my phone is fucking radical and i am very thankful to have it.

The End


It has been insinuated but not said outright (as far as I know) that the piece of shit who shot and killed 58 innocent people outside of the Mandalay Bay Casino in Las Vegas may have been angry about mounting gambling losses and wanted to punish the casino with his horrible deed.

I don’t know if this is true or not.  Really hope that its not because I don’t want to think that someone could possibly be such a self centered, petulant, sniveling crybaby while also being a megalamaniacal psycho who thought that it would be okay, even justified, to basically use a pool of 22,000 innocent humans who were minding their own business just enjoying their weekend, listening to country music, drinking beer and dancing, as personal pawns in a misguided revenge  vendetta against the casino/industry/city that he felt robbed him.

Unfortunately, in my opinion, and in the absence of any other credible theories, its the motive that rings true to me.

This is obviously a very touchy sensitive subject.  Many people were negatively impacted, to put it mildly, by this madman Stephen Paddock’s actions.  I point this out to assure my readers that I am taking the subject matter very seriously and not just talking out of my ass throwing wild rumors out there to get attention.

That sort of attention I don’t need okay?

The LA Times article I linked to in the very first sentence of this piece talks about the casinos and how they have increased the difficulty of winning playing slot machines in general and specifically video poker over the last decade or so.

I speak from painful personal experience when I tell you that I concur that the games have gotten much more dificult to win on.  I could give you hundreds of examples of how fucked up the casinos are and not just examples from my gambling career.

I have friends that have lost millions.  Literally over one million dollars in less than a year.  He is going to remain anonymous until I speak with him to get his permission to discuss his story.  I am actually going to talk to a lot of people I know in hopes that they allow me to discuss their stories.  I’m thinking that now may be the time to expose what I know first hand about this industry and how they ruthlessly target people who cannot afford to gamble by playing on their weaknesses in order to exploit them to the point of abject poverty and then toss them aside like the green leaves and stringy white stuff left from shucking corn.


YET…The public should know about the desperate anger, self hatred, extreme defensiveness, shame, guilt and sadness that is often a direct result of gambling in these estsblishments.

The chances of winning have steadily decreased over time leading to a converse increase in peoples misery, hopelessness, desperation, poverty, child and spousal abuse and neglect and many other negative effects.

The consequences of this naked greed on the part of the casino for the gamblers and their loved ones can be spectacularly devastating.  Almost beyond words.  I am not saying the tragedy that unfolded in such a horrifying way at the Route 91 festival could have been averted if the casino wasn’t so impossible to win at.

I am saying that I have personally witnessed many desparate acts that WERE a direct result of a bad outcome at the casino and regardless of the motive in Sundays’s shooting, these greedy casinos should be reined in to make the playing field a little less one sided.

I understand the casino has to make money, the odds have to be on their side etc but let me tell you…some of these places are blatantly just fucking everyone who walks through the door and they just keep getting away with what I consider robbery.  Bleeding people dry like I said and then discarding them via a lifetime ban for ridiculous infractions. Its not right how they treat people yet they continue to do so because nobody has the balls to speak up.

None of this should be construed in any way to be some kind of justification for the shithead Stephen Paddocks evil acts.  His gambling results no matter what they were could never excuse such vile deeds.  He was a fuckhead through and through and his brother the one who rattles on about what a wonderful man he was should just shut the fuck up and go away because I am sure he is starting to irritate people who might not be as inclined as I am to just discuss the situation without resorting to other means of making a point.

I am also not belittling the losses of so many wonderful people who were victims of this tragedy.  My flesh and blood sister and her husband both attended the festival and narrowly escaped becoming victims themselves.

I’m not even sure if its right to bring up trivial things like the unfairness of the casino industry in general in the wake of the madness perpetrated on those in attendance last Sunday night but possibly the reality of what really goes on at places like Mandalay Bay and countless other money hungry cash cows will not fall on deaf ears at this time.

The fact that the odds are so highly stacked against players who are specifically targetted by the casinos through the promise of free plays, free stays, free food and more.  People are sucked in without fail even though they can not afford to lose money earmarked for necessities (rent, transportation, child care, groceries, clothing etc).  Yet, the vast majority of the time, losing is exactly what they do.

The repercussions of societys fixation on gambling are devastating and almost unimaginable at times.  Casino management is faced with ultimatums delivered from high above their pay grade and they really have no choice.   Chew people up, spit them out and don’t give a fuck about leaving lives in a shattered mess.  They can’t afford to care.  Not really.

“Civilized” members of society who don’t know any better throw out wotds like restraint,  like self control, like responsibility.  However, they forget what it is like to have a one hundred dollar bill that you have to somehow stretch imto a thousand or face disaster.  How can a person be blamed for being tempted into trying their luck when really that one hundred bucks alone just isnt doing shit for them. It sucks either way but if you win…..why theres a fresh start, a clean slate, you live to fight another day and that is a good feeling.

the casinos know exactly what they are doing, psychological mind fucks designed to part the players from their wallets.

this tale will be continued motherfuckers.  until next time ….

P.S. God bless all of the people affected by the tragedy at Mandalay Bay.  I pray that we never have to witness such a deplorable set of circumstances again. I am truly sorry that it even happened this time.  Such a waste in all aspects.

Porky’s Tragic Death

Been friends with this lady Stephanie W. Kelly since 2009. We have had lots of adventures, mostly revolving around casino gambling or working doing manual labor jobs with her or swimming and getting tan at her pool which is 17 feet deep and has a diving board that is about 18 feet above the water.

When we first met she had a pig named Porky. Porky was a wild pig that she somehow caught or got (not sure which) at the river bottom in Norco. I don’t even know where that is but apparently it does exist because I saw Porky’s huge fucking pig body hundreds of times with my own eyes. It was a real pig.

Anyways this dude Eric Kisner was good friends with Stephanie when I first met her. Apparently he was with her when she got the pig. he was really good friends with the pig and he used to chase it around and the pig would chase him back sort of like a dog. A dog that weighs 500 pounds and has tusks and huge teeth.

The pig was frightening and I never felt safe around it. One time the fucking thing bit me in the knee.

Anyway Eric and Stephanie sort of drifted apart for whatever reason (I actually know the exact reason but I ‘m not telling you) and Eric was kind of forced to give up his affiliation with Porky. Pretty sad in a way. They had known each other since Porky was just a few weeks old and truth be told they had a really special relationship. They spent their days frotting together in the dirt area that became Stephanie’s lawn and you could see there was a magical bond there almost as if Eric was a pork whisperer.

Wait. What the fuck? Did I say frotting? I meant frolicking. My bad. Yikes my eyeballs would have been burned if I saw that cloven hoofed 500 pound monster frotting with a skinny 140 lb human male. Especially since pigs have corkscrew penises it would have been too much for my retinas to bear and I’m pretty sure I would have been blinded at leaat temporarily by the sight.

Frolicking between man and pig wasn’t as emotionally scarring and anyways I sort of felt bad for Eric that he couldn’t carry on his friendship with Porky.

I gotta be honest. I never liked Porky. He scared me at times and he always intimidated me. He was fucking huge. Just a big fat bastard of a pig, black hair and really dainty looking feet compared to his incredibly fat body.

Compared to his body his feet were dainty. But only compared to HIS body. To me his feet were like devils feet. Black and cloven twisted things that were like fingernails if Satan has fingernails. They were so fucking long I didn’t see how Porky could walk and indeed this was a real problem.

Stephanie had to spend thousands to get the pigs toenails cut because pigs don’t like getting their feet fucked with and Porky would go insane. You dont want to see Porky going insane unless you are a safe distance away behind an unbreakable barrier.

The lady that did the pigs nails had to knock the pig out with an animal tranquilizer normally used for elephants and hippos and shit and after awhile these didn’t even work. Imagine that for a minute if you will. There was NO tranquilizer strong enough to knock this pig out long enough to cut its fucking nails. It got to the point of ridiculousness for everyone involved.

This pig was terrorizing the property anyways. The fucking thing ate tires for fucks sake. It was scary as fuck to be forced to go in its lair to fill up the water or food. I hated doing that shit.

When Stephanie finally put in a lawn and garden where only dirt and rocks existed before, it was easy to see that Porky’s days were numbered. The pig could ruin a flower bed in 30 seconds and Stephanie was starting to get pissed. Of course I egged her on because remember, Porky had bitten me on my knee and drawn blood and I really didn’t like him.

Eventually it all became too much to take. The garden being ruined, the pigs essential fatness, the horribly twisted hooves it was forced to run around with, the huge fucking shits it indiscriminately left everywhere, the loud noises emanating from where it slept. All of it. Inevitably the butcher was called and pretty soon Stephanie had an entire freezer dedicated to the memory of Porky Rasinski. Stephanie’s man Peter and friend Inga wouldn’t touch any of the pork chops, bacon, pork roast or ham steaks but when I moved in with my cousin I filled his freezer with alot of Porky and I had no qualms about enjoying him for breakfast lunch or dinner.

Fast forward to June sixth of this year when I posted a video of Stephanies other pig, Oscar (who is way smaller than Porky and lives in her house) to Facebook. I hadnt heard from Eric in a while but he commented on the video WHERE IS PORKY?

I have to admit the evil delight I got from my response. No words. Just a picture of a porkchop wrapped in white paper with all of the particulars like Stephanies name etc printed on the package. I posted that in reply and for some reason never got another comment back. Poor Eric. I’m sorry man.

Naked, Raw, Perplexed

it is saturday october 2017 and this ship is spinning out of control. i can’t think straight or settle on a course of action. urgently awaited by nobody and everybody and completely mystified about what the right path is for me. i know there has to be an optimum set of actions which will result in the most favorable outcome for my life but its really hard to discern what that may be. the problem is not simple like yes or no, true or false, black or white. hardly anything in my life is simple like that. even the seemingly mundane things are open for analysis and are likely to launch an internal debate.

i hate that i sound like a spoiled indecisive girl who can’t make up her mind whether to shit or get off the pot.i don’t hate myself. really i don’t. however, i am stuck, and truly feeling quite powerless when it comes to the course of my life.i’m hedging my bets with every person, place, and thing; really trying to avoid options disappearing from my view.

its driving me batty though. girls for instance. before july when i started hanging out alot with sheila the possible permutations were seemingly endless. the total number of sexual encounters period is monstrously large. even crazier is the number of different girls in the last _____ _____(s)[PICK A NUMBER AND UNIT OF MEASURE {i.e. hour, day, week, month, year, school, job, city, country, decade, scene, life}]

those tales, no matter which combination you arbitrarily choose would be extensive and somewhat unbelievable. actually that goes for any subject in my past history. the truth is often stranger than anything you could dream up.

not trying to get bogged down, or indundate you (probably bored out of your mind as it is) with words i’m not even sure need to be thought of let alone typed. yet the letters keep coming. reluctantly yet forcefully,

my point is there is no point to this post. yet again, i have suckered myself, and maybe 1 or 2 other, random people reading this post with no idea how their google search for common garden pests got them here.

i am tired. a quick nap will help maybe.

AXM stands for Anthony Xanadu Mandich

In 2017 the author, aging so slowly that whispers began to permeate regarding his nefarious dealings with the devil, decided that it was time to call in all of the favors he had managed to squirrel away over a decade of decadance and begin his own personal crusade to wring out every drop of life from his life, becoming a hero of some kind and getting all the chicks, while saving the world.
To be honest the details were a little sketchy still but the combination of PMA, boner pills, a harsh workout regimen and tons of mangos was beginning to become impossible to ignore and fascinating to be a part of.
You are lucky enough to enter this sordid yet enthralling world with Anthony X. Mandich, and at the very least, bear witness to his indomitable spirit, dashing good looks, plethora of lady callers and fierce fighting skills in the coming months.
Allegations of impropriety between Anthony X. and Dracula’s bride still persist but in this day and age a simple vampire encounter resulting in immortality is not interesting or controversial enough to make the jaded citizenry of the greater Los Angeles area even take notice of let alone talk about and this allows for Mr. Mandich and his cohorts to enjoy some much appreciated anonymity while the details of his crusade are being finalized.


Welcome…take my hand and lets begin.

So edgy

Fear is something to fear.  Its the only real barrier.

Fear is annoying but witbout it I believe death would be almost instantaneous.

I’m afraid to die therefore I never truly live.  Controlling results means manipulating people, places and things.  Assholes manipulate.

To the best of my ability seems to be the right answer to every question that haunts me in the wee hours of the night.

Paradoxically maddening thoughts are spinning around my head. I’m almost 50 yet I can’t tell the difference between 21 30 40 and 50.  I CAN tell you that time keeps on pushin pushin pushin into the future.

Everything seems so jumbled and confused.  I don’t know what I want seemingly.

What am I supposed to want?  Who among us can be counted on for the right formula for living that takes into account all of my selfish impulses, immature amd unrealistic hopes, irrational fears, major doubts, concerns about motivating factors (mine and yours) and the uncanny way things eventually turn to shit eventually?

Does it even matter what the fuck I think?

Well on some levels it does matter.

If you are unlucky enough to be counting on me for anything meaningful then what I think matters.

If you are blessed like the overwhelming majority of the universe and my decisions, good or bad don’t affect your life in any real way., then it does not matter what the fuck I think about anything.

That, in a nutshell, is all I can come up with right now.

Do I want to be loved?  Before I answer that let me run something by you.

The only thing I know is that finishing a statement that begins with “the only thing I know” is a loop you deserve to be stuck in if you truly believe that whatever your fundamental lie is that completes that thought is so monumentally important to anyone that it needs to be shared.

Lets face it.  Life is somehow boring enough that there are people who will find themselves reading this nonsense at some time after 1:20 am on Wednesday, September 13th, 2017 and they will now begin questioning themselves and their various shitty details which coalesce to form some semblance of an existence in other words their life.  Why? Because FUCK you! That’s why.

Your shit must be fucked if you are getting anything besides “fuck this asshole” out of anything I have written here tonight.  I mean that in the nicest way possible of course.

If you are shaking your head and beginning to ask yourself what my point is here I don’t blame you.  I am wondering the same thing myself.

My motivation for starting this tale of crap isn’t something I can answer either.  Where I am going with it? Fuck you I have no answer to that.  In fact I am so tired that I don’t remember the question.

Its cliche to say “everything happens for a reason” .  It adds as much meaning to my life as “hairy clowns shave their palms and hybernate with bald bears”.

Its true though.

Hairy clowns do shave their palms and its crazy the amount of clown bear bastards running the planet because their momma bear decided a fucking clown was sexy during that particular winter and got fucked and impregnated by said clown because clown was an irresponsible son of a bitch who didn’t believe in safe sex because he wanted skin on fur or he had erectile issues.  Everything happens for a reason.


I want to scream.


I’ve got better things to do so I won’t scream yet.

The meaning of life,  the answer to all of our questions,  being a part of a collective force greater than my self and my life, deciding what good is, aspiring to greatness,  deciding what greatness is, recognizing the fundamental need for guidance and deciding to be guided, refusing to quit because surviving another day is all we ever really have, changing for the better, caring about more than yourself, limiting selfishness, buying into inclusion, allowing your mind to be receptive, making a mark, having faith, optimism conquering pessimism, appreciating your life, humility, vision, altruism, understanding significance, subtlety, no absolutes, being present, juggling, positive results, pulling it off, light in the darkness, courage not cowardice, priortizing time, reaching for the stars, our lives matter, reunion of families here and in the spirit world, adventure and details and facing the worst and coming up roses, love soul beauty adoration feverish desire, fucking winning.

Defeat the evil within. Hot rails ginger ale 10 cents a glass. And if you dont like that you can kiss my hairy ask me no questions I’LL TELL YOU no lies.

Its been a long time

I was not allowed to use my blog for the last three months because of some glitch with the credit card that I used to upgrade my account.  Glitch meaning wordpress doesn’t appreciate when people use stolen credit card numbers to pay for domain names.  Hahahaha just kidding.  So anyways, moving right along…

I don’t have time to write a full on post right now.  I’ve been putting off my run for like the last two days and its time to pay the piper.  There is a bunch of other shit that takes precedent over blogging right now to be honest.  Running is one.  Girls is one.  Painting is one.  Watching movies on HBO to Go is one.  Coordinating the task of getting my driver license  back is one.  Trying to move out of LA back to OC is another one.  Seeing my daughters before I die is another huge one.  Arranging sexual liaisons with girls is one.  Meeting potential candidates for sexual liaisons is another one.  The list goes on and on.

Honestly I can’t be honest in my blog anymore either.  For a lot of reasons, when it comes to discussing me or my personal life I just need to shut the fuck up.  Therefore, I am announcing that from now on my blog will not be about me anymore but rather I will be commenting on certain stories and whatnot that the public is interested in.  Hopefully you will be into it.  If not, you can fuck off.  LOL just kidding.


Give it a chance.

A Ray of Light in these Dark Times

These comments were written by Anthony Mandich after reading various online stories.   Mostly dreamindemon articles.  If you are not sure what that means check this out


Anthony Mandich…..

on Alicia Silverstone

Alicia Silverstone Feeds Her Baby Bear Blu Like A Bird: Twitter Reacts [VIDEO] – International Business Times 03/27/12 05:57 PM
Who really cares how Alicia Silverstone feeds her kid? It’s not that gross. Like big deal. Let her raise her kid the way she wants to. She’s not hurting anyone. It’s not that big of a deal. I’m sure all the haters have something better to do with their time and bigger fish to fry then Alicia Silverstone and her peculiar feeding habits. Penguins do it. All sorts of birds do it. As long as it’s not hurting anyone then just live and let live okay? Thanks people.

on Woman Arrested Woman Arrested

Woman Arrested After Throwing Coffee Into Passing Car 03/27/12 03:59 PM
In the days of my youth me and my friend Thadius Daniels were driving from Newport Beach (California) to Corona, where we lived. Our friend Jimmy was being a dick in front of us and throwing pennies out his windows which were hitting Thad’s VW Rabbit. So I took a piss in a Carl’s Jr. cup and filled it up all the way cuz we had been drinking beers all day on the beach. We came to a kind of a traffic jam and we pretended everything was all cool like, and pulled up to Jimmy, motioned for him to roll down his window. I had the cup in my hand but with a lid and straw so it looked like the real deal. He rolled down his window with a big grin on his face. As soon as he did, before he could even flinch he was covered and I mean covered in recycled beer. It was pretty epic. He was fucking pissed.

on Sierra LaMar: Girl

Sierra LaMar:  Girl Who Resembles Missing Teen Spotted in Watsonville 03/27/12 09:30

I hope they find her alive. I have a 15 year old daughter named Ciara. This hits a little too close to home

on  Exposing Himself

Iowa Man Jailed For Exposing Himself And Eating Marijuana 03/27/12 09:24 AM
Can someone please explain to me what a black man is doing in Iowa City, Iowa to begin with? Let’s start there and I think all the pieces of the puzzle will fall together.

on Woman Pleads Guilty

Woman Pleads Guilty To Dismembering, Setting Fire To Disabled Man 03/27/12 09:22 AM
This insane person is fucking crazy.

on Inspire Children

Did Cartoon Inspire Children To Set Fire To Mom’s Bed? 03/24/12 11:59 PM
Whatever the case may be I personally think we should send the little bastards into the corn fields a little earlier then normal. I’m pretty sure Malachi and He Who Walks Behind The Rows would welcome these children of the corn with open arms.

on Jury Recommends Death Penalty For Collings In Rowan Ford Case

Jury Recommends Death Penalty for Collins in Rowan Ford Case 03/24/12 11:52 AM
That bemused expression and those black soulless marbles for eyes…collings goes to some incredibly dark places in his mind. he is malignant and must be put down…

I’ve literally got goosebumps on my arms.

Part Two  to Follow


Just got stabbed in neck by Barbie

My daughter just gave me a hug from Barbie a second ago.  Unfortunately Barbie has some hard plastic limbs and she inadvertently stabbed me in the neck.  There is quite a lot of blood pouring out of my carotid artery as I type.  Hopefully I can stem the flow a little bit, buying me at least enough time to write a proper entry here.  Its been a minute.  Its hard as fuck to concentrate on this shit though because my same three year old kid is sitting here asking me if the socks that she just picked up off of the floor are from Frozen.  She is also asking me if I can find her shoes.  She is also going through all of the drawers of clothes that I just put away yesterday when I cleaned up this fucking nightmare room.  Her purpose in tearing through the drawers is ostensibly to find proper attire for Barbie.  You see, we are getting ready to go to the store together to find buy some Pullups because she is still having issues with potty training and can’t really be trusted to be completely diaper free just yet.  Her biggest issue seems to be not taking a shit in her panties everyday.  Luckily for me the shits she is taking are pretty firm in consistency and don’t really cause that much of a mess which is a good thing.  It kind of keeps my sanity intact for one more day if you know what  I mean.  If you know what I mean really then I feel sorry for you because nobody should ever really have to relate with my nutty life.  Now I have the adorable little child standing next to me going through my little sketch pad and asking me about every single thing that I have ever drawn in there and asking me who each person is.  The problem is she is not satisfied with answers like, “oh its a little man” or “its a little doggie”.  Then she wants me to draw an itsy bitsy spider for her.  She loves that little itsy bitsy fucking spider so much that I have to draw her another one.  Now I’m starting to lose my focus if you know what I mean.  Of course! We just fucking went through that whole thing I forgot.  I’m ignoring her so she is getting more desperate for my attention, telling me that she needs to go into the shower, which she just got out of.  I ignore that so she starts pushing me and saying daddy a few dozen different ways.  Stone face so she starts really pushing me and calling me by my Christian name which happens to be Anthony.

I forgot I was even writing this.  Its like 4 hours later and we went to Walmart together (Daddy and Daughter) and got boisterous for a little while.  We were both just amazed at “how cute” every single product that had a tie into the Frozen movie was.  That’s what Audrey said literally about every single thing she recognized from that blasted movie that fucking Walmart had stocked on their shelves, in special displays all over the fucking store, next to the elevators, escalators, entrances and exits, restrooms, dressing rooms you name it. I actually was amazed…she just thought each thing was so cute and of course she wanted one of everything in the store.  She was cracking me up so I did get her a couple of things and using my mind manipulation techniques I was even able to convince her that her Pampers Pull Ups were a special treat.  What we settled on for her were a pair of shoes with lighted heels and special pics of Frozen princesses Elsa and Anna.  I was considering shoplifting the fucking things to see if I still had it but ultimately decided to leave well enough alone and even though the shoes were safely on baby girl’s feet and the upc price tag safely ensconced in the box containing my new mma hand wraps, when I was paying at the register I made a point out of making sure that the semi attractive cashier (Debbie I think) rang the shoes up.  They were $15.87 by the way.  We also got her a mini basketball which she picked out.  It was neck and neck between  the mini basketball and oddly enough a football (no soccer but football like the NFL football).  She had never previously shown any interest in or knowledge of the fact that football even existed prior to tonight as far as I know so I was kinda tripping on the interest in the football to begin with.

In case you were really fascinated by our shopping trip and you want to know what I purchased for myself, too fucking bad.  The only reason I am still working on this article is because I am getting ready to go running in a few minutes but first I need my piece of shit phone to charge up enough that I can listen to my fucking Spotify punk rock motivational crap and have my Runtastic app remain open on and running for my entire run so I don’t get cheated out of mileage and times like always happens because something stupid like not having a properly charged phone battery rears up hisses and fucks up my mojo for that day.  It never fails to happen when I am on a personal best pace on a day with heavy mileage being run, a day I would be able to use as bragging evidence via a screen shot that I use whenever some body that is not dead and also knows me but hasn’t spoken to me for one reason or another for six months invariably gets to chatting and asks me the innocuous sounding “so what have you been up to”? and I use that as my opening to bore the tears out of another apathetic winner from my past, present, or future.   Anyways yeah not having a fully charged phone can really come back to bite a guy in the ass in these circumstances.

I’m wearing a really homosexual looking Adidas athletic suit thing right now which is not very flattering especially with the pooch belly I still have even after running 1,367 miles since October 6th of last year.  I think it might even be unwashed in fact I’m pretty sure it is.  And its not mine.  I found it in the barn at my cousins house in Los Angeles and I’m reasonably certain that it belonged to my cousin Dayna’s soon to be ex husband.  He is a cross fit guru allegedly ranked number two in the USA at one point.  Anyways my cousin John gave me permission to keep the ugly stinky article of clothing and the funny thing is I don’t think he really had/has the authority to be giving away another man’s homosexually slanted gay pirate muscle suit thing.  But he did.  And I accepted it because I wanted it and I really don’t know why.  Maybe I enjoy dressing like a gay.  I’m pretty sure I do in certain aspects but that’s not a subject to get into right now.

I’m well aware that I am coming across as a mental defective and I’m really not one I don’t think but I have to admit being somewhat enamored with the whole stream of consciousness that can come pouring out of my fingertips almost without even trying at certain times.  Real talk for a second and I just made this mental connection that the reason for my sauciness tonight is that I have been power watching past episodes of Shameless on Netflix and Showtime on Demand for the past few days and if you watch Shameless you know that basically every character is larger than life, smartasstic horny drug taking hedonist sado masochistic and kind of bad overall yet they fascinate me.  Lip is especially cool and I want to fuck Fiona badly.

In case anyone cared or didn’t know I have relocated out of the Temecula Elsinore Casino Meth Capitalistic Inland Empire Bro Prison White Trash Desperado Probation Parole Headquarters to the lovely confines of Los Angeles which has all of that and more but is infinitely more interesting, diverse, busy and I have to think educated in a certain way that is part money and culture but also street smart mixed with school smart mixed with mostly transplanted out of towners from all over the world melting pot with history and millions of stories waiting to be wrenched from the surroundings where they lie.  Temecula in particular has nowhere near the historical appeal of someplace like Hollywood and I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being very happy that I am out here.  I don’t have any sort of permanent thing going on here but I am working towards having something that makes sense to a higher percentage of those with their crazy lives somewhat in control.

Hopefully it will all work out for me and little Audrey out here near Tinseltown.  Who knows maybe I can get her a part in some sitcom or some shit.  She is a little charming actress fake crier extraodinaire already so we shall see.  Along those lines, Ed Harris and his wife (I think) are filming some kind of something at the property where I currently reside.  I’m not going to be more specific than the greater Los Angeles Area and its not because I don’t want any of you to know where I am  but out of respect for the people who are nice enough to let my daughter and myself sleep here temporarily.  Its nice to have a bloody roof over my head and to know my daughter is safe.

I’ve lost my focus here obviously so I am going to cut this post now and if you are lucky I may just publish it in the next five minutes so one or two of you can read along and send some good vibes and thoughts my way.  Any girls that want to fuck, I’m down as of right now.  Private message me and I will give you my cell  phone number. If I have a girlfriend down the road shortly and she is reading this let me take a quick moment to apologize.  I’m sorry honey (whoever you are) I’m just lonely and often really horny. So yeah.  I have gotten with a few very hot little mamas since arriving in Los Angeles. I’m not going to out them on this forum but trust me we are talking about some primo female flesh.  Just counting my blessings.

Steve Jacobson, Josh Erlenmeyer, Elijah Brown, Kris Cass, Steve Bultsma and others have promised to meet up with me out here in Los Angeles and thus far have not made the attempt.  I can understand why for Steve and Elijah who both think I will be an over the top distraction for important women in their lives.  Josh will eventually get in touch and Kris Cass and Stevie will too.  Faith in humanity and faith in friends.  You gotta have that shit if you are going to have a happy life.  I gotta go running now.  I have four miles of warm ups and warm downs with 8 sprints of a half mile thrown in the middle.  45 seconds of rest after each sprint is not nearly enough so I really gotta go motherfuckers.

Thank God (that’s what you are probably muttering to yourself under your breath if you made it this far)

I dedicate this post to the memory of Charles McEldowney.  I love you Charlie.  Hopefully I can hump your girl Mia too.  That would be lovely. 

Liza Rowe and Nikki Knightly are fine ass ladiesHollywood-Sign-Wallpaper




Today’s Run Was Hell

Sometimes I eat up the miles so fast it is unbelievable. My feet glide along the pavement like wings on a ghost.  Its times like this that make me feel like a god amongst men.  Late at night….really late at night….the cops look befuddled as I glide on by.  Confused but only for a mile after that I can sense their smiles.

I am a runner and today was Africa Elsinore and it was brutal.  I survived.

A Horse with No Name

When I was 14 years old I received a horse for Christmas from my parents. I had been riding horses as much as possible since I turned 11. There was a horse in Mexico named El Bayo that I used to rent and ride whenever possible. His name was pronounced like caballo which is Spanish for horse. I made a little song in Spanish about him and it went like this: Tengo un caballo, su nombre es el Bayo. El Bayo was a bay gelding with a white mark on his forehead and four white hoofs. I would pay $5 USD to the skinny cowboys that ran the little horseback riding outfit that was located pretty close to the area where my Aunty Monica would take all the kids every summer on vacation. We would often stay for the whole summer almost. It was rad. I would get so black it was amazing. My cousins Glenn, Mikey, Donna, Richard, Mark, Joey, Nelson, Rachel, Charlene, Cindy Lou, Timmy, Mitchell, my sister Natalie, and various others would be down there getting pretty crazy. Anyways, El Bayo’s owners put up with me for some reason even though I was a very annoying kid. I learned a lot of Spanish from them and I really loved El Bayo. He was very fast and I used to run him on the beach all the time it was seriously totally cool.

Riding El Bayo part of the year wasn’t enough after a while so I started pestering my parents to get me a horse of my own. Since we lived in the boondocks on Compton Avenue in Corona, it was actually legal for us to own a horse if we wanted one so that was a plus in my eyes. I pretty much hated everything else about living in that house at 18430 Compton Avenue so I figured that having a horse would in some way make up for the unhappiness that pervaded my existence. Somehow I managed to stay on the reasonably good side of my dad that year although it was a challenge. I just walked on eggshells and kept my mouth shut for the most part and on Christmas Day with a bunch of relatives on hand to witness it, I put the snaffle bit on my horse with no name, and the bareback pad and I took him across the street from our house which was just a a big old field and took him for a ride.

That ride was a ride through hell. My horse was an Appaloosa gelding and he was pretty fucking wild. Skittish and really big and powerful and scary actually. I rode him about two hundred yards one way in the field and then when I turned him around he totally bolted. It was scary as hell and when we started approaching the street and all my relatives who had gathered to witness my triumphant ride I could see that he was not going to slow down no matter how hard I pulled on the puny snaffle bit in his mouth. It didn’t have any effect at all and lo and behold I was flying off of his back and landing on my own. Seeing stars, I got up and gingerly walked into the house defeated and sad. That was the way my life went back when I was younger.

Man, GetYour Dog’s Ass Out Of That Other Dog’s Nose

Sitting here with Johnny Anonymous my longtime friend from Crown Town, taking in the sights and sounds of picturesque Temecula, California on a Thursday night in February of 2016.  I went running this morning after staying up all night long working on my painting, setting up sexual rendezvous via, working on some photoshop shit, and thinking about life I guess.  All night long I meant to go running and all night long I found myself doing one thing after another that kept me from walking out the door of my room at the Best Western and into the mean streets.  I really did mean to go in the middle of the night too because I love running at night especially down Winchester to where it dead ends in the wilderness.  I have a sharp knife that I wear around my neck in case I come across a wild wolf, a pack of coyotes or some homicidal homeless cracked out motherfuckers.  The knife is called a CRKT Minimimalist  and if you are in the market for a stealth knife that can do some serious damage and will slice a dude’s arm all up if you need to defend yourself from attack, then by all means I heartily recommend investing the $39.99 plus tax and getting yourself one.   Okay, back to me, and my story about me and my running plans.  So finally at 7:30 a.m. I decided that enough time had passed  waiting for anonymous sex with anonymous strangers that never show up, going overboard with the black paint pen on my junkie angel painting and other assorted  miscellaneous wheel spinnage opportunities such as checking out worldstarhiphop’s vine comp collection so I finally slipped on my black nike running shoes and my tight nike running pants  got my headphones on tuned my youtube music into a little Selena Gomez that wunderkind goddess, pulled up the runtastic app on my samsung cell phone pushed play, started activity and ran straight from  my room turned right on Jefferson and headed into my personal record book.  That’s right I said record book.  I ran exactly five miles in 40: 50 which may not sound like much to you but it is out of this world to me.  That’s a pace of 8:10 per mile for five fucking miles straight.  I can tell you right now that I have never run that fast of a time for five miles in my life.  Remember that I just started running October 6th.  I just took a look at the times I was doing for five mile runs back then and they are a joke.  I’m talking about 12:00 + miles pretty much.  That’s an hour for five miles.  Since then in a little over four months I have managed to cut 4 minutes PER MILE off of my time.  I know it’s nothing that special compared to the rest of humanity but it seems really dramatic to me for some reason.

Who cares right?  I mean really…bitch


Nobody gives a fuck about my running time today.  That makes me a little bit sad.  I don’t think that anybody truly gives a fuck about anybody else.  You know what, inxnay that last.  That’s purely bullshit and I knew it before I wrote it.

Just had an impromptu one man concert for a one man audience, my longtime friend and occasional business comrade, Mr. Johnny Anonymous.  I was trying to cheer him up you see.  He has been down in the doldrums for quite some time now.  He is a sensitive guy and has too much heart for this cruel and twisted world that we live in.  What better music than Paranoid Android to be playing decadently in the air like small golden air nymphs fluttering in the night, swirling in and out of my brain and ears and eyes with the haunting melody sure to be the soundtrack of eternity and


I just got off on a tangent in my head the past hour while I typed not even one word.  Some hip hop band is staying in the room next to me here at the Best Western and I have been playing songs in my room that I think I sound good singing in the hopes that they might need my services as a back ground singer or the one who does the hook or something whatever.  A fluffer even….hahahah nah not that.  These dudes are black and big and I’m not about to be the fluffer but anyways right now I am listening to C-Bank “One More Shot” which was one of my favorite songs back in the good old days 30 years ago. That’s the last song in the series I just got down with even after Johnny left.  Lyrics Born doing Callin’ Out and I copied the lyrics to a word document so I could sing every word.  It sounded cool as fuck.  Also did “Some LA Niggaz” the bad ass jam by Dr. Dre Xzibit and others.  So fucking sick.  Also Common “The Light” just got played again.  I still love that song even though I don’t know a girl it could ever apply to because romance is dead in my life. Queen I ain’t seen you in a minute…..more like Queen I ain’t ever seen you in my life….I would rather get the aggression out by screaming every word of Hit Em Up by Tupak.  I love that song too just because of the huge diss factor and its so brave it seems and prophetic as all hell.

Y’all niggaz ain’t even on my level….

Laughing.  Kidding.  Don’t get all sad.

I’ve been sitting here waiting for this drama queen who wants to confront me in person about calling her dumb ass out on my blog but she is fucking lagging so hard that I am getting impatient.

First off, fuck your bitch and the click you claim
Westside when we ride come equipped with game
You claim to be a player but I fucked your wife
We bust on Bad Boy niggaz fucked for life

What a luxurious ride this life really is for me.  I must admit that any time I want to bitch about my life that I deserve to be bitch slapped because I am really lucky to be able to enjoy as much of my existence that I actually do.  I haven’t had a job in a long fucking time.  Not that I don’t want one but it just seems like so much of an ordeal to go through that for now I just can’t seem to see the forest through the trees, the light at the end off the tunnel etc etc.

Anybody that tuned into this post to actually read something interesting is going to be pretty disappointed I suppose.  I wish I could tell you guys some stories of what has been going on in my life but I feel like I would be incriminating somebody in something so I am going to err on the side of caution and just shut the fuck up.

floating in reverse

that sounded good to me (the title of this) because that is what it feels like i am doing.  not heading backwards at breakneck speed on a collision course with death.  not even.  more like a leisurely balloon ride to the land of permanent mediocrity.  just hustling up the cash to survive on a daily basis, never getting up too much and never getting so desperate that i feel like i need to do something stupid.  its not really that bad if you don’t mind going nowhere overall in fact overall going backwards just a little bit at a time.  still fighting though.  one area that i have been kicking ass is seems to be my running.  i started running or jogging or whatever you want to call it a couple of months ago.  lets set the record straight by saying that i have liked running for a long time and there have been lots of different periods in my life where i have taken up running.  somehow though i always end up stopping doing it for some reason.  well the reason is that i stop caring.  its a word called apathy.  i hate that apathy concept.  but anyways this time even as a homeless vagrant hotel dwelling guy, i have still been running nearly every day since october 11th, 2015.  and i have really improved greatly its really fucking cool.  now i can run 6 miles in less than 54 minutes.  i have also done 10 miles in less than 100 minutes.  both times are quite significant to me.  right now my goal is to get 5 miles in 40 minutes but i don’t think i will get even close to that anytime soon.  it is hard enough to get 5 miles in 45 minutes.  the 8 minute per mile pace is fucking hard.  i love running though.  i really do.  its so insanely cool.  especially late late at night like at 3 a.m.  its spooky at that time.  i run in temecula alot and if you cruise down winchester from jefferson to where it dead ends its really spooky and desolate.  its easy to imagine wolves or bears or mountain lions waiting out there wanting to kill me or serial killer bums waiting to rape me then kill me.  so far i have been okay but who knows what the future holds.  the last time i went running was at midnight last night (boxing day 2015).  i did 6 miles in 53:47.  i was tired yet elated like usual.  it makes you feel superior to others.  also it makes you feel like every day you run you are adding two days to the end of your life.  i think that is really cool formula since i am an older man now i want to extend out my boring life as long as possible.  there is a pretty cool app on my phone called runtastic that basically gps tracks you on your runs and gives you all kinds of statistics and shit while you are running and then compiles it all for you so you can see the progression of your runs and see how bad ass you are.  all this talk about running is getting me pumped up to go running right now so fuck it i am going to go running and shit.

If not now, when?

After a little bit of goading from people who care about me I have come to the conclusion that it is time to start selling my paintings.  I have held out due to a number of different reasons but they are mostly based on ego and my incorrect estimation of my own self importance.

Being homeless for well over a year now is not something to be proud of and although it may seem to be some kind of a romantic notion, actually being a starving artist is pretty fucking lame.  For one thing I’m not even painting.  I have no place to paint so what the fuck?

yeah….i’m over it.  this is not only affecting me but i have children.  audrey is not able to spend the night with me most nights because i don’t have any place to go.  my license is suspended over a payment of a few hundred dollars in child support and the rest of my life is in a similar state of stagnancy.

I do have quite a few paintings that are complete or very nearly complete and although I really wanted to have a gallery showing and make a splash entering the art scene I think it is time to get over that notion and just sell what I have so I can get my dependents a place to call home.

so without further ado…..

If you want more information about these paintings let me know.  You can send me an email at or you can call me directly at 657-210-7113.

If you are looking for a cheap painting this isn’t the place to look.  I’ve got thousands of hours tied up in these paintings and I will die before I just give them away for ridiculous prices.  Sorry.


An Early Christmas Present Part I

I have to give credit where credit is due.  Just in case anybody reading my blog thought I was a cop hater after my post about that crazy lady cop Lisa Mearkle who shot and killed the dude in the snow, this article should dispel that notion.  The events in question took place less than 24 hours ago and were witnessed by Christina Joy and myself.


First of all I have to come clean and admit that my driver’s license is currently suspended because I have a past due balance with the Department of Child Support Services in Orange County, California.  They never really thought this idea out very well.  In my opinion, suspending the license to drive of people you would presumably like to have out there working, in order to earn the money needed to pay the money they owe you, seems counterproductive but we all know that my opinion doesn’t mean shit so I will just shut the hell up.

Anyhow, I have to get around somehow and I admit that I drive my car with just my California Identification Card in my wallet.  I don’t know what else to do since I don’t have enough money to pay off the child support and get my license reinstated.  I’m not employed and its pretty rare that I get enough money together to make a sizable dent in any of the various past due balances that haunt my life.  At this point any money I get is never enough so I find myself trying to parlay hundreds into thousands, often by gambling at the local casinos except for Pechanga and Harrahs, and everybody knows that the end result of that is usually daily bankruptcy.

I’m not trying to make excuses for the crappy facts that define my existence presently, I’m just giving you some background information so you can get a better understanding of what is going on in this little tale.

Getting back to the events of December 11th now okay.  And we are stipulating that Anthony doesn’t have a current valid driver’s license with the caveat that before January 1st, the situation will be rectified.  It is now priority number one.  Also with the understanding that I don’t feel particularly bad about having driven with the suspended license since it is not due to any action taken behind the wheel, no moving violation or reckless driving but simply an inability to stay current on child support payments four years ago for my daughter who is now 18 years old.

Let’s pick up the story with Anthony and Christina about 2:00 p.m. on Friday the 11th of December, 2015.  We left Pala Casino and headed north on Pala-Temecula Road, a route I had driven literally hundreds of times from Temecula.  It is the only way to get to a slew of casinos located deep in the  wilderness to the south of Temecula and to the east of the 15 freeway including Pala, Valley View, Harrahs, and Pauma unless you want to drive a bunch of extra miles on the freeway and then you still have to drive east for miles.  Taking the Pala-Temecula Road is like driving as the crow flies and for most in the know, its the only way to get there.

Well apparently it is the route chosen by drug dealers as well as casino rats like me.  That’s what the Federal Border Patrol Agent who put me in handcuffs while a K-9 police dog sniffed inside and outside of my car for drugs told me anyway.

Stay tuned for Part II


Lisa Mearkle should definitely be in prison


Lisa Mearkle is a cop in Pennsylvania who pulled some 59 year old guy over for not having a current inspection sticker on his car.  We are talking about the equivalent of having out of date registration here in California.  So the dude runs away and gets to his sister’s house where he lives and goes off running through the snow with this ugly blonde bitch cop chasing him and screaming at the top of her screechy ass lungs for him to do something retarded like show his hands.

Dillon Tayloer

The dude has been tased and is crawling through the two foot deep snow in the backyard.  He is really scooting along super quickly.  Not.  More like a one mile per day pace.  She is yelling like a banshee from hell, “show your hands blah blah blah blah I’m a stupid bitch blah blah blah show me your hands yaddah yaddah yaddah” and the dude is like alright alright leave me the fuck alone please.  So the snow is so deep he has no choice but to kinda swim with his hands so he keeps moving them or risks suffocating for sure.  She keeps yelling at him “Bonzai Superman show me your nutsack and your hands you motherfucker” or something along that nature we can’t really tell what the bitch is saying but one look at this fellow tells  the normal human being that he is hardly the type to be packing an AK-47 under his winter coat.

This useless bitch cop,  who really had nothing on this guy except that he ran away which is a crime in and of itself but not a major one, is taking this way too far its easy to see on the video.  The dude clearly is not really resisting; her shrill annoying screechy ass panic stricken voice is unintelligible; therefore it stands to reason that her cow like commands are also unintelligible.  17560344-large

God I hate this Lady. She shoots and kills the poor bastard anyway.  Like the cunt that she is.  Wow I just called a police officer who was found not guilty at her jury trial  a cunt.  I did this knowing full well that this cunt is getting her job back.  I’m hoping that the distance between Pennsylvania where her retarded ass lives and Beijing, China where I live is far enough to keep  her away from me.  I don’t want to get tasered, then shot and killed, dying a senseless moronic death with the last words ringing in my ears coming from this cow cop.  Even worse none of it making any sense whatsoever because how the fuck am I supposed to comply with whatever shit she is spewing when I have a fully operational police taser gun stuck up my ass? Yeah…..nah… thanks.

So Lisa Mearkle, you piece of shit excuse for a human being murdering bitch please stay away from Beijing.  We don’t want anything to do with you.  I’m sure you will have to answer to God though because how can you defend yourself to Him?  You can’t.  God doesn’t like it when bitches tell lies about feeling threatened by decrepit skinny old men crawling at a snail’s pace in a snow drift during a blizzard.

Here is the video so you can see that I’m not exaggerating when I say without a doubt in my mind that Officer Lisa Mearkle deserves nothing less than guilty verdicts to  Second Degree Murder and Being a Dumb Ass Bitch Cop without a Permit.  Here is some lame ass cop version of Go Fund Me called Hunt for Justice which glossed over every pertinent detail in the case and actually wanted to get people to send this  bitch money for her lawyer.

Is it really a wonder that people in America and all over the world have had more than they can really stomach when it comes to these fucking blatant murders of American Citizens by the very group that is supposed to be protecting us? Make no mistake about it.  The very group that I am referring to is called the Police.  Why do they get their jollies in causing pain for people on a whim basically?

I’m not advocating violence toward the police or anyone affiliated with law enforcement. The rough language and immature name calling I have used in this article is really only an effort to reach out and allow the decision makers  in our government to see the frustration, grief and rage being experienced by the common citizenry of the USA over the unfair nature of the actions being taken by law enforcement.  Actions which are resulting in so many deaths each year.  Deaths that are often profoundly useless and entirely preventable.  Its not the citizen victims who really have any control over whether their next contact with law enforcement is going to result in them bleeding out on the pavement outside 7-11 for the crime of not understanding the over the top chaotic screaming technique used by the police firing squad during their nightly victim search.  Designed to ensure compliance with sadistic and confusing demands  by psycho cops hell bent for blood, the play books used by the police to dispense the crude justice is flawed all the way through and in my opinion should be thrown out.Poooopooooolice

My opinion doesn’t mean shit though lol.  Here is some bonus footage for you in the form of some links to police shootings justified and unjustified and some just downright strange.  Edmund Wong was my neighbor in Long Beach.  He is dead.  Don’t forget about the black man in South Carolina.  He also died. Here is a little collection of fucked up moments in the history of law enforcement.  Lots of deaths.  I have to put quite a few links just so you can get a little taste of what I’m referring to.  Check out this  collection of bullshit.  This one involving Dillon Taylor left me so fucking disgusted with the police. There are ones out there now that make Dillon Taylor’s death a walk on the beach in comparison.  This one for example is pretty disgusting and I feel sorry for the little poochy who got executed here.  Maybe this guy got sick of his life.

You get the drift people.  I know you do.  Something seriously has to change.  The excuses are so lame and tired and canned.  Its time for Americans to stop allowing Americans to get murdered by the cops.  What if its your child who dies at the hands of law enforcement next time?  You won’t be so quick to say, “well if he would have just obeyed the commands of the officer then this would not have happened.”  The funny thing is that almost all of the murders I am referring to in this article were as a result of the poor people complying for the most part with the officers orders or not being in a position to comply such as Dillon Taylor who had his fucking earphones in and had no idea what the fuck the stupid ass cop was yelling at him before shooting him directly in the face.  Not being in a position to comply also means not having even a split second to hear the officers order and consciously do whatever he is asking you to do.  The little twelve year old kid with the squirt gun in Cleveland was gunned down before the cop driving the cop car even had time to stop all the way.  His partner was already out, yelled “drop the weapon” and simultaneously fired and killed the little guy literally before the driver could stop and open up the drivers side door.  That is fucking bullshit.

Bitching and Moaning

sexyI am bored out of my gourd.  Tomorrow I won’t be bored because I will be searching for shelter and a friendly face for my daughter and I.  I just can’t be fucked doing anything right now I can’t find the motivation or the energy.  If it is not one thing its another and soon enough my time on this planet is going to be over and what a shitty last few years it has been.  Nothing but fizzled connections, psycho girls, insane highs and soul depleting lows.  God, I want my life to be about more than this.  I try to take comfort in the fact that I have taken on solo parental duties but really and truly I’m not doing the job I could be doing because I just don’t have the resources do it.  One thing has led to another to get me where I am right now and I’m so fucking sick of flailing away.  I sound like a broken record.  My last several posts have been so shitty but the way I’m feeling right now I don’t know if there is ever going to be a new amazing post or story.  I’ve got my bratty but sweet kid pestering the holy living goddamn fuck out of me in this room right now.   Dadddddeeeeeeeeeee, Dadas wanna go on rockabye.  A, S, D, brown back as she is picking at my hair and leaning against me always constantly never ending just climbing and touching and jumping and pulling  on me and patting me and right now she just said Dada dada dada dada dada dada dada dada dada.  Yes its amazing but Jesus Christ I need a fucking break.  We are going right into the crapper because I can’t fucking escape.  I can’t leave the room.  I’ve been stuck with her for days upon days and I am starting to go a little bit nuts.  Pan Pan Pan Pan hold up my  nana my nana dada dada dada my pan pan pan.  You should just see the state of this room right now.  I admit defeat I cannot keep up with this fucking kid.  And here she comes again picking at my hair as I sit on the end of the bed typing this like she is a mamma bear or some shit and then another tight hug and offer for a kiss at least my six thousandth hug of the day while HBO keeps playing the fucking same episode of Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, the Leftovers, Unbroken which is a shitty fucking movie and some other stupid ass shit.  Its either that or never ending NCIS.  I can’t even take my daughter for a walk without a leash on because we are staying on PCH across the street from the beach and there are millions of cars and she has about as much common sense as a two year old.  And here goes the end of another whining pussy ass blog post.  Kill me now.

You come in to the world alone. Guess what? That’s how you leave too.


Everybody is busy with their own lives.  Even your relatives and most cherished friends are pretty much so involved in their own trials and tribulations that they don’t have time for you and your problems.  I don’t mean to sound negative.  I’m simply making an observation based on my perception of what is happening in Anthony Mandich’s world.  When people commit suicide its remarkable to listen to their family and friends beat their breasts and howl about how they had no idea that things were “that bad” and if they had seen the warning signs or if the dead boy or girl had only reached out to them then this tragedy could have been averted.  Bull fucking shit.  I’m sorry but bullshit.  When someone is alive and doing  the same stupid shit over and over and getting the same fucked up results the relatives and friends can only shake their head and basically just ignore the tragedy that is unfolding before their eyes.

I totally understand that.  I totally understand why.  Mom and Dad and brother and sister have been down this road with your fucked up ass for years now and no matter how many different fresh starts you get you always end up going back to the asinine shit that gets you in trouble to begin with so what the fuck can they do about it?  Nothing that’s what.  Mom and Dad have spent thousands of dollars trying to help you kid.  You have sawdust for brains and you don’t listen to reason and you don’t change so the tragedy that ends with your death rests squarely on your shoulders don’t you get it?

Unfortunately, you have come to take Mom and Dad for granted and you don’t really appreciate the frustration that you have put them through over the years with your asinine lifestyle.  They are sick to death of you and your careless approach to life.  You can’t go on taking them for granted forever though.  Not unless they are so severely co-dependent that propping you up to fail and flail has become ingrained as part of their way of life too.  God, that is really sad.  Your selfish and totally indefensible bullshit has had such a profoundly negative effect on everybody that cares about you that normalcy is now impossible for them too.  Jesus.

You keep talking about needing a break but fuck son you have had so many more breaks than the average Joe that it boggles the mind.  You are so good at dispensing the hypocritical advice to the younger generation (that you can’t seem to stop hanging out with and that’s a whole other story) but you can’t seem to follow any of it yourself.  After years of this kind of bullshit you really have come to define the phrase “jack of all trades master of none” and it is sad to listen to you get on your pedestal and preach about all of the lofty ideals (lies lies lies) that you believe so strongly in but strangely haven’t seemed to help out you in your own life.

Shut the fuck up. That’s the best thing you can do.  Nobody wants to hear your shit. Even if the message is fundamentally true and logical, having you as the spokesperson for it renders it useless and something to be avoided just because…you are such a moron and have no room to talk which everybody knows so why do you bother?

People used to talk about how smart and gifted and talented you are but not so much anymore.  Why not?  Do you need to ask or can you see that maybe because you have failed and flailed for your whole life, always looking for excuses to justify whatever shitstorm you have gotten yourself involved in, people who used to believe in you and your ability to rise above have given up hope and have become resigned to the fact that you are a piece of shit waste of time waste of talent big mouth asshole who should just shut your mouth and do something in this decade rather then trying to live off past glories that weren’t really that glorious to begin with.

Hmmmm….what do you think about that?  Brutal huh?  Not really.  You have shown time after time that all you want to do is use the people that are close to you, the ones that you have swindled and conned into believing in you and believing that you have just had factors beyond your control stand in the way of  you and the balanced happy life that you should be living.  You talk them into genuine belief that you can’t judge a book by its cover and you are good at it.  You have the gift of gab and the natural charm of the the snake oil salesman who died out in the 60’s….the 1860’s!

After awhile these gullible (genuinely nice and caring) fools become wise to the fact that what you sell as symbiosis is actually in fact much more one sided than they were led to believe.  And one sided relationships like this have been defined in the scientific community.  We have a name for the protagonists.  They are called parasites.  That hurts.  I know that it hurts to think of yourself as a parasite but what else can you call what you do to everyone?  I know that you never intended to just straight use people until they become smart enough to see that they are being used but the road to hell is fucking paved with good intentions and I’m not entirely sure that your intentions were ever “good” so that doesn’t bode well for you not going down as a piece of fucking shit loudmouth asshole cold blooded hellbound idiot.

The levels that you stoop to are amazing to behold. You continue to justify actions that the man on the street would never defend and don’t you  remember how high and mighty you used to feel when your main evidence  to show that you were right and your adversary (usually your girlfriend, parent, sibling, boss, or friend) was wrong was always wrapped up in the strong belief that if you two posed your opposing viewpoints to 100 “man on the street” types you would inevitably come out on top.  Those days are gone.  Your twisted reasons for acting the way you do and treating people the way you do would not be supported by anyone on the street and probably not that many people in prison or the mental hospitals or in street gangs etc.

What if the last break you are going to get is the clarity to see the fundamental truth that says you are a fucking wretched  excuse for a human being and that you need to change literally everything about yourself and the way you think immediately or even faster ha ha ha just for you to have a chance to make meaningful amends to all of the poor souls living and dead that have had the misfortune to buy into your bullshit in one form or another and have suffered spiritually, financially or physically as a result of it.

Your best bet is to forget about your wants and desires forever.  Just thrown them out.  They are no good for you anyhow. They are twisted as shit anyways and in no way do they help you to become the good person that you could actually be if you weren’t such a fucking asshole.  You are truly such a self centered narcissist that I’m thinking it is probably an impossible task but what choice do you have?  Death, prison, skid row, mental insanity await if you continue on the path you  can’t seem to get away from.  No promises on what awaits you if you can change but wouldn’t you feel better if you at least took advantage  of the opportunities that are still there for you to do the right thing and failed rather than continue fueling the fire that is slowly but surely replacing the person that God created and intended for you to be with a freakish evil clown, the kind you read about on the internet everyday and shudder at the insanity that is so clearly on display.

As negative as the preceding may sound, in actuality, it would not take much to see genuine, positive results in your immediate everyday existence.  Its just a matter of changing what motivates you.  Replace sex gambling drugs swindling hustling and selfishness with things that make sense like balance and healthy thinking and abstinence and sacrifice and saving and mentoring and trying.  I don’t think its impossible at this point.  Its not likely but its not impossible.

If any part of this rant sounds like any part of your reality then first of all I’m sorry, but second of all please do something about your fucked up life.  Its on you and it always has been.  People expect you to fuck up so you have nothing to lose.  That’s fucking awesome because when you have nothing to lose it means you have plenty to gain.  Show me some gains asshole.  Justify your shitty existence.  Right now.

Anthony Mandich is not too proud to panhandleeven jesus hates yousteve jacobsonGraduating to Fuckface.........Labor Day Weekend Pics

Heather Nicholson did not overdose as previously reported

I would like to set the record straight.  Last night I reported that a friend of mine, Heather Nicholson, had died a few months back of a drug overdose.  It turns out that I was wrong about that.  My dear friend Amy Schneider informed me that Heather died due to complications from pneumonia and a blood infection and she had been getting her life together when she got sick.  It makes me sad that she didn’t get the chance to fully turn it all around but it also makes me happy that she went out on a positive note.  Rest in Peace Heather Nicholson.

The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday (and it was pretty fucking hard)

First let me offer up my condolences to the family and friends of Heather Nicholson who was a friend of mine from the late nineties on.  Some of you may know her as Brusha Brusha or Crazy Heather.  Anyway she is dead.  I just found out about this on Sunday accidentally on Facebook.  Facebook is really good for bad news.  Its how I found out about Darin Byrne, Todd Fowlie, Richard Bultsma and others.  I’ve been remiss in keeping up with everybody that I care about in this world mostly due to  spinning my own wheels and having them being spun for me by my daughter Audrey who as I type this is laying behind me on the bed with her baba, kicking me in the back with her little feet and pretty much demanding my attention as she fucking always does.  Anyway we all know that I am far from perfect so I’m not apologizing I’m just trying to explain how I could be five months late in hearing that a friend of mine is no longer running amok here on Earth.  Heather died of a drug overdose which is an all too familiar tale and one that I don’t really want to give too much lip service to right now.

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My daughter is so cute.  She is such a little terror I swear to God.  She can be insanely frustrating, horribly demanding, incredibly impatient, mind numbingly messy, excruciatingly whiny, piercingly loud, inexplicably deaf, ridiculously careless, nosier than you would believe, way too smart for her own good, with the attention span of a goldfish, often the very definition of a bad kid in every facet of her existence.  She slows me down to a snails pace and makes it so I can’t get anything at all done I swear to God.  If it wasn’t for the kindness of people who I won’t mention right now, we would be literally living in the gutter.  I really want to cry several times a day just from the sheer nonsensical scenarios I find myself in because of the fact that I am taking care of Audrey by myself and we don’t have a place to call our own.  Life can be so fucked up these days and I really hate being at the mercy of the world or at the mercy of my daughter and her temper tantrums and the rate at which she changes her mind about what she wants to have happening in order to not be crying or running around like a chicken with her head cut off.

That being said, I would not change it for the world.  Well I would change the fact that we live in a motel on PCH in Orange County and I would change other circumstances of our daily lives.  You know I would rather go from being a have not to a have that’s for sure.  I wouldn’t change having my daughter under my wing like the little puppy that she is though.  I love her.  I have two daughters and don’t get me wrong I worship the ground my older daughter walks on but you have to understand my older daughter is kicking ass in life and doesn’t really need me on a daily basis.  She has her life in much better shape at age eighteen than I have ever had my life.  Audrey though, needs me big fucking time just to make it through her day.  She gets herself in so much shit that I’m all too familiar with that I really wonder what would happen if she was in the care of another for a prolonged period of time.

Everybody always thinks she is such an angel because she really is so sweet and loving and nice.  Little do they know though what will happen if you are in the same room as her and you both fall asleep but she happens to wake up earlier.  You won’t look at life the same once Audrey has unleashed her special brand of fucking tornado on your room house life car backyard garage whatever the fuck.  Dude… just can’t imagine the devastation that you will wake up to.  It doesn’t make me want to cry.   It makes me literally cry and want to sob and pull my hair out.

She will have her clothes off that’s a given.  Her diaper which will be full of pee and maybe several round pellets of poo somewhat reminiscent to the droppings a hunter tracking a deer would come across in Sherwood Forest.  This diaper will be sitting askew and perched on something precious of yours.  Precious and delicate, maybe a cashmere jumper that you paid $650 for at Dolce & Gabbana or your new True Religion jeans or better yet on the keyboard of your laptop.  Trust me that is just the beginning.  Her diaper bag will be fucking annihilated, utterly destroyed with every clean wipe separated from its plastic container one by one and then balled up and left to dry out  in several hundred  convenient locations throughout her stomping grounds.  Always the fucking wipes.  It is enough to make you feel like you have lost the fucking plot I swear to you.  Every diaper will be opened and either put in the trash or better yet if she can reach it it will be stuffed in the toilet.  God help you when you wake up if you try and correct the little urchin or even express your displeasure because she doesn’t give a fuck what you think about it and there is no swaying her idea that what she did is what needed to be done so don’t bother trying to fix it she will lose her mind and throw a tantrum on top of already having destroyed the place.

Your cell phone will be somewhere with jelly and ketchup smeared all over it and sitting in a puddle of water.  Every article of clothing in the room, will be pulled out of wherever it was neatly ensconced.  Each thing will be balled up and grimy.  Any food anywhere in the vicinity will be separated from its container and absolutely smashed and ground into the carpet, smeared on the walls thrown in the sink.  The trash can will be emptied on the bed, any books especially hardcovers and first editions will have roughly one third of the pages ripped out of them.  They are often in the toilet too.

I am not making this shit up I swear to God.  I am permanently banned from the Motel 6 in Temecula, the Travel Inn in Lake Elsinore, and the Elsinore Hot Springs Motel for leaving the place so destroyed.  Guess who did all of the destruction?  Not me.  The Motel 6 was unbelievable.  She got into her mom’s makeup bag found the expensive eyeliner and used it to draw intricate designs on the duvet cover and sheets.  This place has wooden floors which you would imagine would make it really hard to fuck up too badly but she managed to make it appear like the Rolling Stones or Motley Crue had rented the room the night before.  The place was fucked up.  I tried to clean it up too but just ran out of time and they were bugging for check out so what the fuck I had to leave.  That same night  I was run off of the grounds under threat of the cops being called and told never to ever ever ever return because the fat boy that I used to be cool with at Motel 6 took that shit personally and didn’t want to hear jack shit about my angelic, happy, gentle daughter supposedly being responsible for the hovel that used to be Room 141.  In fact, he was mad that I even attempted to put the blame for trashing the room on her.  How could I try to evade justice and stoop so low as to pin it on the daughter I obviously did not deserve!! Oh hell yeah he was spitting mad.  He was so mad that he hung up on me twice and would not listen to reason even a week later.  The guy that owns the Mt. Vernon Inn in Escondido is a really nice person.  Seriously a nice guy. Three times in a row though, Audrey was so out of control at that place that three times in a row we received increasingly harsher warnings about the condition of the rooms when we checked out.  Rather than risk permanent expulsion from  the place we voluntarily chose not to stay there anymore.

You would maybe think my daughter is out of control by reading this but you would be wrong.  She just needs a tad more structure and living arrangements she can rely on for than a few days in a row.  Its not her fault if we leave things in places that she can find them and easily destroy.  That fault is all mine.  Therefore I have stopped getting mad.  Its so hard to stay mad at such a pleasant little miscreant anyway.  She has the prettiest smile and the cutest voice and she truly is such a sweetheart and has no idea whatsoever that she is doing anything wrong so its actually a sin to get mad at her.  If I want to get mad at anyone its myself.  Not my beautiful daughter that I am so incredibly lucky to have the privilege of raising.  She’s an angel.

Been Lost for Days


.lots of details…so many nuances plus subtle underplay

Sublime  its unreal there are things to talk about I need someone who has a care in their heart for me like a friend who passed recently

From this world for sure to where Darin please universal God of supreme intelligence

The one with a plan but are we so many pieces of ash? Probably too inconsequential to worry about. Not important except to ourselves.

Memories fade. In 200 years nobody will say my name. But I won’t know it so that is a blessing. And if I do know it that means we live on and I fight on not as a bug.

Tony the Stalker, Jim on Shrooms, Smogtown and Skippy

Tony the Stalker, Jim on Shrooms, Smogtown and Skippy

Chapter 2

I remember shortly after I met Jim Waataja that somehow or another I managed to be hanging out over there at the warehouse in Santa Ana one night without Heather which was kind of amazing because honestly Heather was pretty jealous of “her” friends and did not like me fraternizing with anyone she introduced me to. It sounds kind of petty but honestly its nothing that you or I haven’t done countless times in our lives. You know it as well as I do. There is just this natural inclination not to like it when people that know each other only because you have blessed them with an introduction get together without you being present. Am I right? Come on admit it. I admit it for sure. You feel jealous and sometimes you actually feel like there is a conspiracy against you like your two good buddies suddenly hate you and want you to die. Ummmm…maybe not….unless you are a serious crack head.

But anyway…there I was in my convertible BMW with Jim and I think Richie on a week night. This is before I worked at TSA…I was still working at someplace like FHP Healthcare or Talbert Medical Management at that time. Which means that I had to get up early as fucking hell on a regular basis, get dressed and look professional with a tie and everything and commute someplace arriving no later than 7:30 or 8:00 a.m. and then sit there for 9 hours or longer doing excel spreadsheets and playing with my cock through my pockets and smoking as many cigarettes as possible and writing emails[1] and making surreptitious (sneaky) phone calls disguised as legitimate business type calls. Basically boiling it down to maybe three hours of getting over the hangover from drugs or alcohol then an hour of shuffling papers until lunch then a nap at your desk after lunch for a half hour then maybe an hour or two of trying to get something done that will satisfy the management staff people then a couple hours of making plans for the evening and maybe even starting in on some evening refreshments with a quick beer and a line or two in the bathroom.

But anyways part two. So yeah. I went over to the Slave headquarters and me and Jim did a bunch of mushrooms and got completely wasted out of our minds and then Jim drove my car with the top down and we went cruising around everywhere maybe we ended up at some bar all I know is that I was seriously fucked up badly and there is no way I could drive and I don’t think Jim was doing that great either. Also too, I had to get up and go to work the next day which was more brutal than you can even imagine. It was terrible. It often was during those days when I first met Heather. Because those were the days of Tony Mandich Alcoholic Crazy Bastard. I remember that we had fun though for sure me and Jim. And I think Gay Richie was kind of butt hurt but who cares about that.

After a while of hanging out with Heather some crazy shit happened that I pretty much started of course. You see…I really liked Heather but I tell you honestly that I was never really what she had in mind for a boyfriend or anything like that. She liked skinny little guys that were cool punk rock dudes. Examples of her types of guys were Black Fly’s Johnny, Ray from that band that did Static Ecstatic and I am the Cancer what the fuck why can’t I remember the name. Duh Smogtown. Okay she also liked Jim (surprise) and this skater that skated for TSA named Skip Pronier.[i] I didn’t work there yet keep that in mind as I unfold this story. So me and Heather were getting fucked up many many nights and I was dying at work every fucking day being so tired. And I was getting to know Jim Waataja and Stick Dog and a lot of morons who I love dearly and the thing is none of them had a job except Jim who was the boss of his own company so he could go to work whenever for the most part plus he didn’t really drink hardly ever so he didn’t have a hangover where I was fucking dying everyday.

So Heather had these friends from Santa Ana named Blair and Jason who were brothers. I got along good with all of these people and sometimes I partied with them just the dudes so this one night after me and Heather had been boning down for a while I think I actually counted like 33 fucks and still couldn’t tie that bitch down she didn’t want any strings, ties blah blah blah basically keeping me at arm’s length until she could find a better dude more suited to her desires or I proved my ultimate coolness or the world exploded or whatever. Anyways…this one night I hung out with Blair. And Heather had told me that she liked this dude named Skip which made me jealous as hell but what could I do. At this time I had bought a three day trip to Maui for us to go on and she was up in the air about whether she was going to go or not and it was because she knew that I was trying to pin her down like a fool but what can I say I was young and dumb back then. And I guess a little bit of a psycho stalker as you will soon hear.  I think I gotta right now though. Its time to go downstairs and gamble for a bit and maybe get into some adventures. I will tell you more about my stalker episode and our trip to Maui next time. Until then suck it easy. Here is a little smogtown to see you through the night.Jim likes weed

[1] I remember clearly when I worked at Ingram Micro in Santa Ana somehow I got log in access to a porn site called This is before porn on the internet was free so it was legendary having that username and password and I always had it open behind my work apps so I could sneak a peek at the crazy shit they had on there like toilet cams and other really weird stuff that wasn’t really sexually stimulating but more like OMG, What the Fuck! Just a little sidenote.

[i] Skip Pronier is a cool motherfucker who I ended up being friends with and selling him weed and shit later even though he fucked my chick I didn’t really hold it against him because at the time she was not really my chick so fuck it. Also too click on the link and you can check out Skip’s bad ass little part in TSA’s Life In the Fast Lane skate video. Gotta love the Asian fella who says…”Good….TSA good”

Prologue to: My Friend Jim Waataja

James Anthony And Anthony

My Friend Jim Waataja

I really like this guy named Jim I said to myself back in 1996 when I went with this lady named Heather Batchelder to his warehouse headquarters for Slave Snowboards right there off the 55 and Dyer in Santa Ana. I was this sort of metrosexual wanna be cool guy living in Newport Beach like a fag dude listening to Soundgarden and shit and basically I had lost my way in life a bit to be honest. Anyways I met Jim because Heather who was this chick I was all enamored with at the time wanted to go there to get some weed off Jim because Jim had the best weed. I don’t give that much of a rat’s ass about weed but I wanted to touch Heather’s pussy with my tongue so any time I could hang out with her I did. She made it clear that I was a dork for the most part and she just kinda tolerated me because I had a convertible BMW and I was pretty hot and I think she knew that I was pretty bad ass really but I was just a bit of a slutty boy. She called me a fucking Newport whore were her exact words and I remember I wrote a song about it too. Something like “in her room you’re on the floor you fucking little Newport whore”….that shit was funny. Anyways we went to that warehouse where Jim had some crazy ass fools hanging around him. Specifically Rene “Stick Dog” Prospero who is to this very day one of the goofiest motherfuckers I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Stick Dog was an awesome naturally gifted athlete. Things like skateboarding and surfing and snowboarding he completely shredded without even trying. It made me pretty sick. He was just a kid like 19 and full of pimples and shit and he had this punk rock girlfriend named Tara who was and is so sexually hot as fuck . She was really good friends with Heather and they would often get completely wasted on Jack Daniels together. Anyways also living or squatting or something at the warehouse was Richie Schmidt. Richie is famous to me for a couple of things…one is that he got kicked in the jaw by Gianni Cass and it like totally fucked his jaw up. The second thing is that he had a huge cock apparently. Richie is a cool guy but a moron at the same time. We can’t forget about Brian Mank who was Jimmy’s right hand man and a skinny oddly shaped alien like being with a massive forehead but a kind heart. Who else was there?   I’m thinking maybe Chris Franz a goofy kid at the time but a very responsible sober person these days and maybe some other people like Dirt Doug and Rob the Electrician. All these fools just creepy crawling around a dark strangely decorated weed smelling warehouse in Santa Ana. I didn’t talk much to Jim that time but I remember him being some sort of Asian but also like cool at the same time with old ass levi’s, black skate shoes like es or emerica and a wife beater with a joint always in his hand and a full head of swarthy dog black hair and a little weppy goatee. I don’t know exactly why we started hanging out but it was really cool that we did. Jim was a partner in this cool skateboard clothing company called TSA. The other partner was a guy name Mac which is really short for Miguel Angel Cabada. Now he is called Angel and has been ever since he got out of prison for running this dude over in Huntington Beach this one time and then ditching his Range Rover which according to the authorities showed consciousness of guilt. Anyways Jim was running Slave Snowboards and trying to really get that going while at the same time handling all the production for TSA and I was between jobs I think or something anyways I ended up getting a job at TSA as the accounting manager which was fucking awesome.   Okay so that’s Chapter 1 of My friend Jim Waataja also known as lip lip boy. I’m writing this because he was found to be cancer free today so I’m very happy to start our memoirs.

Stealing my Dreams and Raping my Innocence

I never seem to get the time to write even  though I often fantasize about it.  Two nights ago I was laying down after touching myself in my suite at Harrah’s Casino when an idea came to me for a book.  I was about to tell you guys about it and then I decided it wouldn’t be a good idea because what if one of you are really not a fan of Anthony Mandich, Artist and Urban Legend, but really just a pimp who is scanning the interweb for nuggets of brilliance regardless of the topic. Then you steal my idea, write the great American Novel, win all sorts of fucking bad ass awards and shit and complete your mission of stealing my dream and raping my innocence.  That would not be cool at all so I guess I have to just keep it to myself.

So this is a really great exercise in bullshit so far huh.  You’re fucking frustrated I’m fucking frustrated. Everybody’s pissed off.  I’m getting hard and now I’m about to take off my pants and touch myself yet again.  Then I have to ask myself….is this a problem?  Because I’m way beyond disfunctionality which obviously is not a real word because it has a crinkly red line underneath it now that I’ve typed it but do you know what I mean?  My life is really fucking strange to say the least.  I guess today I’m the poster boy for what to avoid in life and why you shouldn’t participate in amphetamine usage, gambling or any of the other more irresponsible pursuits in life.

I would like to take this time to just give a brief shout out to my recently tragically deceased brother from another mother, Mr. Darin Byrne, who was killed May 29th, 20115 by a negligent driver who ran a red light in Newport Beach, California and caromed into Darin’s beloved Harley.  There is much more that needs to be said in relation to Darin Byrne also known as the Dazzzzzzzzzzzzzzler of all Dazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlers but suffice to say for now that I’m very heartbroken that he is not roaming the earth today and it is a terrible tragedy that he had to die in such a dumb manner. There are no silver lining moments in this situation and it is significant to note that this incident was not singularly viewed as a tragedy by Anthony Mandich; there are many sad motherfuckers out there wondering why did he die.  Bright lights like that, positive forces of nature like that, true friends like that LIKE Darin Byrne should not be extinguished in an untimely fashion.  God my writing is reprehensible today but what the fuck ever.  I’m a phoenix and since my buddy thought I would rise up from the ashes I really don’t have any other choice but to do just that.  Rise up like a tropical hurricane and fuck some shit up.  Anyways Darin you are a constant companion in my mind I really miss you.  Its crazy how bad the ache is when I think about how we don’t get to fly to Tijuana in that little Cessna and get hookers like we were supposed to do this month.  That hurts man.  Listen up and stay tuned because I’m going to give you the best send off that I can come up with via this website but first I have some shit to take care of today.  Things that Darin would truly be pretty happy about things like getting knee deep in some pussy, putting some cash in the slot machines and wreaking havoc on the world via multitudes of clever thoughts.

As usual I’m leaving you panting for more.  Actually panting for anything  of substance because my convoluted brain aside, I haven’t left you with anything worth reading except the name of my dead friend Darin Byrne.  I apologize for that.  I will make an effort to get my mind right  in the next several hours.  dazzles

My Friend Sean Stenlake’s Wife and Other Interesting Topics

Creepy Title.  I love it.

Sean Stenlake is a very good friend of mine and he has the sexiest wife I have ever had the pleasure of fantasizing about.  I bring Tasha up because Mr. Stenlake sent me a very hot photo of his wife via text a couple of weeks ago and she is so damn gorgeous with the tastiest looking ass.  I was bragging about Sean to my friend Darren earlier today because I think Sean is a good example for chubby guys who want to get in shape. I just get the sense that Sean used to be a bit of a chubby kid but he started working out and waxing all of the hair off of his body and being really good smelling guy and pretty soon he had so many hot girls but the hottest one of all he got to marry.  That is a real success story in my mind.  His wife was actually in Playboy and that is not a joke.  You see my friend Darren is a baller and a very handsome fellow with an incredible penis and a great personality and he gets tons of chicks already but I was making the point to him that the world would be his oyster if he got rid of the baby fat he has been carrying around for a while.  I’m talking twenty pounds and a stud all of a sudden turns into a god.  Which is what I like to imagine happened with Sean Stenlake.  Its one of my little fantasies that I like to think about when I start to think about touching my penis.  I never ACTUALLY have touched myself thinking about Tasha or Sean but its a nice idea.  Stupid opening to this diatribe and I apologize. This was never meant to be a story about Sean Stenlake or his wife but I just had to mention it because of what I already told you about Darren.

The mother of my child is watching Fifty Shades of Grey on the big screen in the living room of our comped suite at Harrah’s Rincon Resort and Casino located in some place down a sort of a freeway that starts where Pala Casino is.  I am pretty sure that its not actually a city although it might be called Rincon or Valley Center but who the fuck knows.  This movie is pretty much not doing much for me although the naïve chick star has a pretty nice looking pudenda from what I can see through those cotton panties she is wearing that I would love to sniff preferably from behind while she is still wearing them.

The first sex scene just ended and now I can tell you that it doesn’t even measure up to soft porn.  The dude is playing some really dramatic song on the piano and wait a minute she wakes up and it looks like he is going to fuck her properly.  Just when it looks like it might be interesting it cuts to the happy, glowing, lovebirds waking up staring into each other’s eyes.  Gay.

I wonder should I make the move on the kids mom sitting twenty feet away from me or would I rather do dirty and vile things with myself or just pass on my penis and ass for the night.  It seems like a waste because we have this suite and it has a balcony and a Jacuzzi tub. I have access to chewable viagras, liquid Cialis that my friend Darren has and also some regular Cialis plus marijuana, Jack Daniels, Jaegermeister, Absolut Vodka, three different kinds of Ecstasy tablets also known as MDMA I’m pretty sure, plus some meth and whatever else the crazy mixed up kids around this casino have tucked away in their buttholes and vaginas. I have access to all of those substances and more but I’m not really interested in any of that shit. To tell you the truth, just laying down and going to sleep sounds pretty much like the best idea. That makes me a square and a kook I’m sure but who gives a shit. Anyways that is my Friday night of Memorial Day Weekend and its nice enough that I want to thank God for giving me the tools to live my life one day at a time. Also Happy Birthday to John who is 70 years old yesterday. He would not like me to be more specific than John when mentioning him so Happy Birthday John.

Some cool things I like to do include taking typing tests on the internet and watching videos of chicks fighting.  My penis is about 8 inches and pretty girthy when erect.  Masturbating can be really fun when combined with the insertion of wildlife in your behind.  Genderbending.  That’s a cool concept.  Kink.

Pechanga Casino: I’m So Over You


Everybody knows you are the shittiest casino.  Even though its general knowledge that you live off of the lifeblood of degenerate gamblers I don’t  think what I’m adding in this article is generally well known.  For one thing they tell you to use your players card every time you play.  Well I’m here to tell you right now that if you do that and you tend to gamble for many hours a day many days in a row and you accumulate 1.1 million tiers in a very short period of time they will lie and say you cheated.  They are liars.  Flat out they are fucking arrogant asshole liars.    You can’t call it slander if it is true.  This is true.  Pechanga security guard rent a dick detectives are lame ass liars with puffed up like a peacock opinions of themselves.  They enjoy making the customers  feel uncomfortable .  If you are tired at Pechanga you better not close your eyes or you will be surrounded by assholes asking you if you are okay and violating your rights left and right.  That sounds awesome as heck.  I’m talking about that little pun about violating your rights left and right.  Oh yeah did I tell you that I’m over you Pechanga?  I’m not even going to tell you how bitter I was (and apparently there is quite a bit o f residual anger as well) but suffice to say I was bitter as fuck when I got unceremoniously defrocked as Pechanga’s celebrity degenerate gambler a couple weeks ago.  Today, as I sit in my suite on the 18th floor of Harrah’s, reveling in my Diamond Status that I achieved in two days, I must admit that I feel a certain sense of redemption in my own head.  Redemption may not be a good word because I don’t think I did anything wrong that I needed to redeem myself for. At least not in the eyes of Pechanga because the dick tater ship that makes up their keystone cop detective dickhead force have zero credulity with anyone.  Rich or poor, gambler or recreational joker, black or white, its universal knowledge that FUCK you Pechanga.  LOL!  HOw about that?  Suck my fat one you cheap dime store hood! That’s from STand by Me and booting me out was the biggest favor you ever did for me believe that.  I was mesmerized by Indian voodoo and bought into the promise that is not even real.  The promise that you are treasured and we really care about you individual gambler.  Fuck that.  YOu should see what the reasons they are giving for booting people out for life from that shit hole.  How about parking in the red card parking lot when you aren’t a red card?  I know someone banned for life for that.  Countless people have been sent packing for life for talking to someone who was found to be in possession of any drugs.  I know I sound like a fucking moron but I can’t help it because I fucking hate those Motherless soulless Nazi  Indian motherfuckers.  They Lie Cheat and Steal and rob motherfuckers blind and they tried to say that it was ME that is the fraudulent fucking cheater.  Fuck you Pechanga.  Honestly you are so going to have to deal with the nuisance that I am going to create for you on every single possible review board or anything public that I can link to you and get you negative publicity.  Because you deserve if you fucking bastards.  Detective John and that baldheaded moron that is Cantalopian or some shit like that who works at nights and mad dogs everybody and especially that black dude who is the biggest fucking asshole wanna be dickhead fucking asshole rude bitch ass piece of scowling shit I have ever seen in my life.  Going up to people who have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in your money tree soul pit dank slice of hell casino and  who are sitting in the high limits room and NOT feeding hundred dollar bill after hundred dollar bill in the fucking slots machines thief ass cheating slots for more than one fucking minute straight and telling them if they are not going to be playing that they have to take their shows on the road out the door to the skid row section of the casino.  Can you imagine that?  I have witnessed it dozens of times its such as farce.  They are rude offensive ignorant arrogant falsely entitled assholes and they can fuck right off.  Black man and cantaloupe man and detective john you guys are the worst of the worst and literally I hope you all die today.  Because you suck and you couldn’t give a fuck less what effects you are having on the lives of the people that you make up lies about at the direction of your white man hating Indian bosses.  Straight the fuck up.  Fuck you Pechanga.  I hope this sounds like a rant and the ravings of a mad man.   I might as well live up to some semblance of the negative self image you attempted to fabricate for me and make me emulate through your deceitful faggotry.  LOL.  Even though I hate you and I wish nothing but the failure of your business and the cancer of your security staff still I have to forgive you at the end of the day.  What is the point of hating an entity without a soul and completely devoid of a conscience or anything remotely resembling good things?  There is not a point.  I am so angry at them and I mean really angry.  I gave up so many things that I should have never given up to begin with and they fucked me under and made me look even worse than I already looked to important people in my life because they made all those days and days and days and nights endless nights and millions of pushes of those buttons and stress beyond belief all for nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Ended up with nothing for my 1.1 million tier points.  How do I explain that to my daughter?  I don’t.  I cant.  fuck you Pechanga.  for that fuck you.  but hey good luck in your future endeavours.  I probably won’t even bother wasting any more energy writing to you and about you.  But deep down you fucking suck and I fucking hate you.

Cootch Tobacco and the Red Hybrid Earthworm


Now that is a catchy title if I’ve ever heard one. I’m just sitting here again in my room because I am one broke donkey boy at the minute. Actually I do have twenty dollars I think. But yeah for the most part I am broke. The cootch tobacco story isn’t that interesting either to be honest with you. Quickly…..Clarice who is Avondra’s mother and a huge pain in my ass, bummed a cigarette off of Georgie earlier in my room when we were having dinner and learning the intricacies of Georgie’s latest hustle, selling farm raised earthworms to fishermen and farmers and people who love gardening and thus also love soil which is enhanced greatly by the cast off from worms. I consider Georgie to be my brother in law despite the fact that he was never legally married to my sister Louisa. She never actually divorced her husband Smithy before she died so legally she never became Georgie’s wife. Despite that fact and the fact that the rest of my family apart from myself loathe Georgie. They despise him. Ha ha ha. I just like to rub it in that’s why I am repeating it and stressing this aspect. In a way, I think by stressing the dislike he feels from the rest of the family it makes him more likely to seek my approval in all things so naturally I will still like him and he won’t feel like such a pariah when it comes to thinking about my dead sister Louisa. It’s a whole urban white guilt thing slash reparation for his great great great grandfather allegedly being a slave owner slash reparation for his great great great grand uncle Josiah allegedly being an avid Indian fighter and killer slash reparation for whatever part he may have played in my sister deciding to end her life and jumping off of the Old Talahassee Bridge back in 2006 after seeing the movie Ode To Billy Joe one morning while under the influence of red wine and valium. So I haven’t even seen Georgie since our last caper together a couple of years before when he had the grand idea of taking out all of the copper wire and piping in the granny shack located on the property owned by his granny. The stupid thing that he didn’t tell me as we were stripping away was that his granny’s sister’ s son Tonito lived in the granny shack with his dog Alpo and seventeen kittens. I think the total tally for that caper was $158.34 received (after a 3 day hold initiated by the recycling company) and $1834 owed for repairs to the shack. Before we were even able to receive the lousy $158.34 we had already gotten a bill from his granny’s plumber and electrician as well as caning from his grandmother and our names and pictures posted in the local rag under the headline Wanted With Or Without A Brain. Suffice to say that I thought Georgie was a misguided fuckup for the most part but still a good soul for some reason. I had personally never held him responsible for any of his supposed misdeeds related to his relationship with Louisa. I think a good portion of my empathy for Georgie in this regard is because I grew up with Louisa and I knew only all too well what she was really all about at times. That’s not meant to dishonor the dead in any way and I miss her terribly to this very day but trust me it takes two to tango and Louisa danced the best tango in the Inland Empire if you ask me. She fought like a man, cussed like a sailor, fucked like a beast, smoked crack like Darryl Strawberry and packed the rare combination of a great uppercut and the sharpest tongue I have ever heard, will ever hear, and whatever other dramatic proclamation I can come up with really quickly, under pressure which is none. So I give Georgie the benefit of the doubt on Louisa and keep him close to my heart because I know she wants it that way. Anyways he ended up going to jail over that copper mining incident and I hadn’t seen him since Clarice was maybe 2 months pregnant and our kid Avondra is already two years old so that was a long time ago.

When you are reading these types of introductions to what seem like they are going to be really long drawn out stories and it turns out that the introduction ends up being the longest and most detailed part of the story does that make you mad or does it in reality make you kind of relieved? I’m thinking it should be relieved because I am opening up so many different avenues of thought that if I were to follow each part of the thread to its ultimate conclusion then I would be working on this fucking manuscript as my full time job for the rest of my life.

Dammit….where was I? Oh yeah the cootch tobacco and Georgie’s earthworms. First of all let’s clarify that these are red hybrid earthworms and not the ordinary angleworms most of you have probably seen writhing on your sidewalk after a rain and then drying up and shriveling up when the Africa hot sun comes out twenty minutes later. To make a long story short, with just a modest investment and a little ingenuity and faith and patience it can be a real boost to a man’s wallet this raising of red hybrid earthworms. Also they are a lively and hardy creature, much smarter than angleworms and a prized and much sought after addition to anyone interested in soil that is rich in phosphorus, nitrogen and all of the other ingredients necessary to grow vegetables and flowers and whatever else. And the profit margin when making sales to fishermen is something like a multiple of 17.5 or something in that range. In other words only limited by the literal number of unique fishermen you ship and sell to. Georgie had me in mind for a possible partnership and I also think he wanted to come visit me and hug on me for a while as well as see my kid, smoke some dope, do some casino gambling and show off his girlfriend who far outshines his past two, both of them very nice girls but a little on the thick side and a little on the crazy side.   Enough time had passed since Louisa’s death I guess, that Georgie felt he didn’t have to be so respectful and could start dating some good looking pussy. So it was a combination of all this shit that brought Georgie out my way tonight and now lets get to the cootch tobacco which is simply that Clarice bummed a cigarette off of Georgie and ended up leaving it sitting on the bed when she snuck out into the hallway to casually eavesdrop on my conversation with Paula, a dental hygienist from Pasadena with big boobs who had a bit of a crush on me. By leaving her cigarette alone in front of Avondra she was tempting fate because she didn’t realize that I had been training Avondra in the fine art of cigarette shredding since the tender age of six months. It just so happened that Avondra had just gotten out of the bathtub and was standing next to the bed in her birthday suit, still a little damp, when Clarice started her recon mission down the 7th floor hallway to see what dirt she could get on me which is actually none because Paula is a married woman who just wanted to be friends with a good looking bad boy rebel and maybe more than friends but only in her mind. When we returned to the room after I had quickly caught on to Clarice and her shoddy surveillance techniques and put an immediate end to the operation by asking her just what the fuck she was doing standing so close to me in her ninja outfit from last Halloween holding a personal recording device, the type made so famous by President Nixon during the scandal and uproar caused by whatever the hell he did to those people at the Watergate Hotel way back when. I wish I knew more about that story too but I didn’t know more than the rest of the population who were given the basic facts which are:   several bad guys posing as gay democrats in town for a rainbow coalition flag raising event and wine tasting at the Watergate Hotel who slipped several roofies and hits of acid to some real conventioneers causing them to have a bad trip and pass out naked on the lawn of the white house which initially was reported as the irresponsible and disrespectful antics of the democrats, the lame duck party in both houses who were apparently so attention starved that they were desperate for interaction and recognition from the press that they got out of control. Anyways it turned out of course that the persons responsible for all of the mayhem were actually Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon, his wife Pat, and several of his frat brothers from his time spent at Rutgers University in the Sigma Smegma Nu fraternity. Apparently some porn was filmed that portrayed Mrs. Nixon in a decidedly non female light and she used her considerable powers as the first lady to get the video footage from the night redacted by several minutes thus cutting out the humiliating gender bending episode. This all led to Mr. Nixon being forced to resign the presidency and made black pajamas all the rage for several years except for certain parts of South East Asia like Vietnam and Cambodia.

Anyhow so we went back into the room noticed the shredded tobacco that was extremely easy to see on the blinding white bed spread in the hotel room. Not sure if Avondra shredded that ciggy while laying on the bed or not but apparently from what I heard from Clarice, Avondra had somehow gotten approximately.0000000000000001 lbs. of tobacco in between her toes and very close to touching more private areas which led Clarice to exclaim, “Avondra, WHAT the hell ARE you doing and what have YOU done, why did you have to shred that smoke and make that tobacco stick to your cootch?” This led me to coin the phrase “cootch tobacco” but in reality I don’t even think its that great of a phrase to be honest and its inclusion here tonight only serve to illustrate the point that I’m actually pretty fast even though I never even got to show my skills in raising crazy, motherless children of motherless children.   I seriously hope that you take the time to get to know this story and if you can, maybe you can come up with an alternate ending to at least this one episode which it makes it that much more interesting than the shameless way I went after ratings when I made my cootch tobacco reference. May the good Lord forgive me and all of the other sinners for being so dumb and boring and incredibly self deprecating lol..

Talk about a tale about nothing. For fucks sweet sake man.

The Sound of Birds Squawking Loudly In the Background

seagullAvondra is asleep right now and I’m sitting here in the dark. I have been on some website where they have people racing against each other to see who can type various paragraphs the fastest. Usually you go up against 4 or 5 people and wait to get the green light before you all start at the same time and just type until you have finished whatever crappy yet profound pearl of literature they have put there for you.   Just so you can get a little idea what I’m talking about say for example you had to type the first stanza or so of a dirty joke like:  Hickory dickory dock This bitch was suckin my cock The clock struck two I dumped my goo And dumped her to the end of the block. And whatever idiosyncrasies that existed in the original literature have to be replicated on this test which makes it super bullshittish when you get into something like what I just used as an example with the capital T of This bitch right in the middle of the sentence or leaving off the g in the word sucking to give it more street credibility. Shit like that. Anyways I’ve done something like exactly 111 of these these races with an average time of 56 words per minute, a record time of 77 words per minute and I’ve flat out won 34 times out of 111 tries. I’m not making a judgment about whether I rule as typist of suck hard I’m just passing the mundane details of what’s going on right now over to you since some of you fucking people seem to relish reading mundanity. Whatever floats your boat. By the way if this sounds like drudgery defined that’s because it is and I hate myself a lot of the time and feel the need to punish myself for doing some stupid fucking things like collecting $1,900 in a twelve hour period through means both nefarious and honorable and then pissing away each and every dollar on a slot machine I never play especially in the dollar slots and in fact I’ve had some horrific experiences with even on the penny machine level while playing at the Fantasy Springs Casino in Indio by my mom’s trailer park. So what possessed me to sit there and fuck off nearly two grand on this stupid shit is beyond me. All I know is that I have to make myself suffer because of it which is the reason why I was entering typing races in the middle of the afternoon in the dark in my hotel room while my daughter Avondra slept and both of us listened to the sounds of waves crashing and seagulls squawking and presumably fucking, fighting and dying which is the way of the world is it not?

The Trench Connection

Sitting here with my heart racing, trying to figure out what to do.  What is the right thing to do?  Why do I seem to gravitate to the wrong thing usually?  Why didn’t I go to my brother Rafael’s wedding this past weekend?  Why am I always such a horny man?  Why am I asking all these stupid questions right now when I could be downstairs pumping more money into the Aztec Temple machine that has been plaguing my existence.   Technically I am not even a guest of the hotel right now because I had to check out or face the wrath of a v.p. who is a stickler on the residency rules of hotels. Apparently if you stay for more than something like 30 days straight then you have a case for being a tenant rather than a guest and tenants obviously are accorded many more rights than guests.  Its an important distinction if they are trying to evict you because you can file an answer with the courts in an eviction proceeding and you can stave off hitting the streets through various delaying tactics and frivolous motions to appeal and stuff.  Hotels don’t want to deal with this sort of shit so this particular hotel has rules that I have been pushing the boundaries of for quite a while now.   Right now its really just a technicality because the requirement to check out has been easily flouted simply by having my friend who has a bunch of free stays given to her each month book a room for me.  That’s what she did last night so I’m good to go for another three days of life.

This place is unbelievably toxic by the way.  Everyone has an agenda and its all just a bunch of individuals with their own agendas for sure at this place.  Whether you are a high roller a low roller a non roller a worker a security guard an indian a host a bartender a cocktail waitress or a valet parker you have a role to fill and you fit in a certain slot.  But you definitely are not doing anything for any altruistic reasons like for the good of mankind or to keep the environment in a green state.

Let’s go over the agendas of the various people who make up your typical casino, at least as far as I see it which is probably a very limited perspective to be sure and I will definitely be making a lot of silly assumptions based on stereotypes which are not accurate but make my job of providing a description much easier. People really do operate from ignorant and inaccurate viewpoints so it will not be that much of a stretch to make my assumptions into some kind of reality that you can deal with mentally and pretty soon you will just start accepting whatever I write as the gospel truth. Which is what I need. Hahaha. I’m gonna go downstairs and gamble for a bit and I will really be ready to do this shit in a few minutes okay.

Okay so you have the losers with absolutely no life and no job and no way of making money and no home and no car and no personality and no nothing but a sick zombie like fascination with doing speed and shuffling around the casino with a glazed out dead eyed 1000 yard stare. I don’t think that they themselves even know what the fuck they are doing there. They don’t talk to anyone, they don’t come with any money, they are dirty as hell like they live in the field next door to the casino and guess what come to find out that there is a whole subculture civilization of zombie scumbag skinhead methhead white trash loser pieces of shit criminals that do actually live in the field by the casino with the coyotes and squirrels and stuff. They camp out there and fuck their bohemian skank dog sluts with hairy arm pits and picked faces in the dirt and whole groups of them make their way over to the casino at like 3 a.m.

They are so obviously out of place in the casino and anywhere else for that matter except for the mental hospitals and jails where they end up. I know I should feel some sort of pity for these losers especially since I am a loser myself but for some reason I am a stuck up loser so I don’t feel sorry for them I want them to die. Anyways these people are considered among the lowest of the casino low and that is a subcategory of scum that I would say don’t even meet the basic definition of a human being for the most part. They are the ones smoking half cigarettes they find in the streets and grabbing half eaten hamburgers from the food court trash cans. If they play any casino games at all I would say the only thing you will see them playing is penny machines, a penny a spin, often beginning with an opening bankroll of 12 cents or 18 cents. Their ceiling in the casino hierarchy is not very high and one of these fuckwads would be considered a huge success among their peers if they make it to skid row where the nickel Cleopatra keno machines are. They don’t talk much except in convoluted, unintelligible bursts of venom or completely irrelevant sing song bullshit. If you happen to come across one of these meat men it is best to make the sign of the cross while praying to Jesus that they don’t notice you.

It is not too hard to avoid contact with them for the most part as long as you never meet their eyes or frequent the areas of the casino where they are known to congregate. Which is basically everywhere you can smoke cigarettes that doesn’t have a bunch of casino security hovering. Hopefully if they do see you and God forbid actually attempt making contact with you via a scaly diseased hand reaching out and grabbing your person in any way you can easily sidestep them, grabbing your phone out of your pocket quickly and “answer” it, and then give them a look that gloats, “sorry I am on a phone call” when they start grunting out the rudimentary clicks and clacks they call a language. There is one drawback to grabbing your phone out of your pocket and pretending to be on a call though however.   By doing this maneuver you are admitting that you actually have a phone that works on your person which opens you up to the most toxic of all casino dwellers attacks…the emergency phone call request.Fat stacks of Fat cash I never loan my phone out at the casino or anywhere else for that matter. Casual phone loaning is the number one cause of phone theft in North America according to a survey I once read. Its totally true though. These fucking people who need to use your phone are the worst of the worst in my opinion. Their pressing need to use a phone is always fucking bullshit since they don’t even know anybody that is willing to help them anyway and they really have nothing ever to really say to anyone they reach. It’s a toxic waste of time and you have to be ever so careful especially on a busy night at the casino because these motherfuckers will dip the fuck out with your phone faster than you can say stop you piece of shit.

I guess I am sort of drifting away from the point of this whole story as I intended to write it up. Which is okay with me really because I like being a douche bag writer.

Shut the Fuck up Dog. This is a No Dog Hotel don’t you kNow.

Damn doggy you are certainly going to have to shut the fuck up if you wanna go on living son (saying this to a girl dog by the way).  That’s me yelling at the little puppy who is going bat shit crazy because Avondra and Clarice are going down to the pool which is on the 3rd floor by the way.  We were all having a union/reunion of sorts just a second or so ago.  You see I was downstairs gambling when I got a text message from Clarice stating that she was ready to perform a certain very taboo sexual act on me now.  Before you start getting any lewd ideas let me clarify that the act we are talking about is not illegal, and is not morally repugnant, and is in no way anything bad.  Just crazy.  Anyways that text was enough to get me off of the machine and started up the path to the elevator.  Upon arrival I had to go ahead and knock on my very good friend Boberto’s door as he is just situated across the hall from me conveniently enough and strangely enough.  Total coincidence seriously that he is in 7158 and I am in 7157.  Anyway everybody was in a bit of disarray with Lissa Giles appearing out of nowhere on the scene, Avondra and Clarice were suddenly planning on going to the pool instead of Avondra going to bed and Clarice taking me into the bathroom for a quick game of Sexual Chocolate.  The hallway of the hotel was jam packed with people and a small canine.  As I type this I have Lissa Giles babbling to me about this chick who is saving clean urine for drug tests or something like that and the dog is fucking whining and the chick is this girl that I actually know named Hollandia and she is a crazy bitch but a nice girl kinda but crazy and Lissa who is a bit nuts herself but in a good way is now lecturing Hollandia via a diatribe to me.  She is very convincing although to the wrong party.  Anyways, its nice that Lissa Giles is cleaning up our hotel room right now because Clarice is a lazy woman or maybe not lazy but definitely is not the best cleaner in the world.  I ran Avondra and the dog up and down the hallway a few times to get them both a bit tired out so they can go to bed early.  I also found out that Frank, my Viagra buying friend actually invented something real some kind of a chip to track pets.  He is also a veterinarian.  That’s pretty cool that he is so high on the totem pole of life because earlier today he told me that our relationship is a symbiotic one.  That was quite a compliment coming from Frank especially in light of the toxic environment where we have started forging our friendship.  People at the casino are pretty much interested in themselves and money and everything else flows from that essential truth.  Therefore symbiosis is an unnatural state for this place and a testament to the strong moral fabric which binds Frank and I together .  Wow what a load of shit.  Just the last part .  Have a good night.   Or whatever. lips

Richard Bultsma

It just so happens that I have started writing again only recently or this post would have been handled during the Thanksgiving 2014 holiday when shit went down.  This is not the first dead friend I have written about and unfortunately unless I am the next one to go, it won’t be the last.  Shit happens and people die and that is the way of the world.  Well in the macro view of the world it is pretty easy to say something like that and mean it.  People don’t live in the macro world for the most part though so every statistic be it suicide, murder, accidental death, cancer, overdose, natural causes whatever it may be is somebody’s father, mother, sister, brother, grandfather, grandmother, aunt, uncle you get the idea.  People in this world usually make some kind of a mark while they are alive and their sudden absence from the world of light is noted and felt by those upon whom this mark was made.  Try saying that shit ten times as fast as you can.

One of the sad facts of life is that the older you get the more people you watch die.  What a world it would be to have zero contemporaries left.  Talking about an old old geezer here, one who has outlived his generation, all of his friends and family and all of the important people that have made a mark on him are gone.  Sad moment to face that for sure.  The day that everybody you see is a stranger.  That’s some deep fucked up shit really.  I’m not any different than anyone else and I’ve had the misfortune to lose quite a lot of people that I cared a great deal about.  Well as great a deal as a self centered nitwit like myself can care.  Which is a lot.

Richie Bultsma was definitely one of the people I cared about and it was my extreme misfortune to read about his death by suicide sometime about thanksgiving of 2014.  It really blew my mind actually because I just wasn’t ever expecting anything like that.  Rich was a dude who had extreme mental strength.  He was somebody who always managed to keep it cool no matter what was going on around him.  Really the words cool and Richie Bultsma were interchangeable.

I remember Richie turned me on to my favorite bands of all times.  He literally did. The Queers, The Humpers, The Supersuckers, The Dwarves, The Action Swingers, The Lazy Cowgirls.  These are bands that are legend in my life.  I’ve seen these bands hundreds of times.  I’ve even seen the Dwarves two nights in a row in Melbourne, Australia at the Ding Dong Club.  That alone counts for so much to me when I think about the hundreds of thousands of hours I have spent engaging with the bands that I learned about from Richie it trips me out.  He was a busy dude yet he took the time to make me cassette tapes of all of them and this was at a time when cassettes were what you used.

I don’t know why he died  and I am pretty sure that if he knew how many people missed him and went to his funeral and continue to write about him on Facebook and just the overwhelming anguish felt by so many that he is gone maybe he would have found the strength and purpose to work his shit out while still with us.

Richie my friend I could write so much more but the slots are calling me and my daughter is waking up so I am going to have to continue this later okay buddy.10398577_59036424068_5475256_n

The sun is shining even though it is 11:51 p.m. and this is not Alaska

So I wrote earlier that today was going to be the day and let me just tell you all now that I was lying when I wrote that.  There was absolutely nothing about today that gave me any sense that things were going to turn around in such a dramatic fashion.  As I type this I have $3,655 combined in cash and vouchers.  Now I have to think that such a large sum of money would be somewhat meaningful to most people that might read this.  If I’m wrong and you are some rich bastard that laughs at such a paltry sum as almost four grand, would it be possible for you to private message me at and give me your phone number and  contact information because I want to be your friend!

Now then this cash is cool and all because I was all the way broke.  Bankrupt.  Zero dollars not even one. I didn’t even have one club dollar which are used for gasoline and food purchases or even one free play dollar which can be used for slot play.  Bottom line in case you aren’t picking up what I am laying down…I had jack shit. Nada.  The only way I was going to feed myself, Clarice or Avondra is via a trip to the red card lounge which has a little buffet set up everyday between 11 a.m. and 11 p.m.  Thank God for that little oasis located upstairs from Kelsey’s because it has really been a life saver many times.  There is nothing like some corn and carrots, mashed potatoes, fried chicken and  a couple of big glasses of ice cold milk when you are depressed  and broke.  They always make you feel at home up there they don’t get all pissed off if you don’t leave tips because you are broke as long as you do take care of them when you do have money which I always do.  The girls all know my name which is sort of flattering too.

So anyways yeah I was fucking broke and then I saw my friend Frank who I have mentioned previously as being a huge fan of erectile dysfunction aids and since I have more erectile dysfunction aids then I do have money when I get desperate for some cash Frank is good for a beginning bankroll in exchange for boner pills.  Frank said he was on his way to the bank just then and that he would be happy to help me out when he got back in about a half hour.  Now sometimes Frank is a little rough on the times he is going to meet up with you and I had a feeling that since the ball is in his court so to speak and he is doing me a favor that he wouldn’t be in that much of a hurry to adhere to any strict times.  I was hopeful, in other words, that he would be back; however when that would exactly be I really didn’t know.

At the time of this exact sentence being written which is 12:09 a.m. I still haven’t seen Frank or his girlfriend Paula back here. Then again I haven’t really been looking for them either because my cash flow challenges were taken care in a different way. I had walked outside of hotel valet about a half hour or so after Frank left to go to the bank. I sat on a bench and played a little Bejeweled Blitz and looked for Frank’s car to come pulling in. I think his car is a BMW m5 or something like that because I remember seeing it at Pala Casino one night. Anyways after a few minutes I became a little bored plus there was this fat Mexican dude on the bench next to me who kept giving me weird looks and I was starting to feel kind of uncomfortable. He had this kind of sour look on his face that looked like he was either a bit gassy, even flatulent or perhaps at the end of his proverbial rope after losing thousands of dollars and on the edge of a murder suicide. I didn’t want to become a victim so I got up and started walking back to the hotel lobby. All of a sudden I felt a gentle pat on my right ass check which got me kind of horny and I turned around fully expecting it to be one of the girls that I am lucky enough to include in my posse claiming that sweet fruit of my butt for themselves for a little afternoon snack of sorts.IMG_20150307_135456562_HDR

Lo and behold it was someone even better. It was my friend Boberto who I had been missing desperately since we last parted about a week earlier. I will tell you much more about Boberto at a later time but suffice to say he is one my top five favorite people currently involved in my life. He is just a panacea (if that means something that cures all that ails you) and he always has impeccable timing when he shows up. Today was no different. Yes Boberto has money but it is much more than that. He has an outgoing, gregarious style of living that makes me smile and feel privileged to witness and just be around him. That’s a lot to say coming from me who always thinks he is the star in every little one act play that makes up the days of my life. Boberto is always looking for bargains and loves sort of acting as a pawn shop type guy. He likes the deals that he receives from people at the casino who are usually so desperate or hard currency that they will sell things that cost several hundred dollars for a fraction of that and even if he doesn’t really know what he is buying he is a nice enough guy that he will let you talk him into it just because he has the karmic flow going for himself and he knows that to help others is to help himself which is really a lesson that a selfish guy like me needs to have hammered home every day. His generosity is awesome but really his personality is why I like to see Boberto. He just makes me laugh and puts me in a more confident state of mind and good things always seem to happen for me when he is around.

Today was no different. He gave me like almost a hundred in some crumpled up bills and he also put a hundred bucks in the machine I was playing on. I ended up cashing $155 from that machine and pocketed it then we went to high limit room and I put thirty seven dollars in the dollar keno machines at the high limits bar. I didn’t even play keno though I just started max betting on the computer blackjack that they have and I got it up to ninety seven dollars which I cashed out. I took the $97 and played this game Twice Your Atlas and won another hundred bucks.

My hands are starting to hurt and I want to enjoy some sort of libation here pretty quickly so I’m going to cut this short and get on with my night. Bottom line I jackpotted Aztec Temple twice, made a grand on Twin Win and another six hundred on Twice your Atlas again and now I have the nearly four grand I referred to at the start. And it’s a lot of fucking money and I need to treat it as it is. A miracle cuz I am a miracle worker…

Post Script….I have only $2,200 left.  I spent it all on Aztec Temple which just wouldn’t hit for me which is pretty hard because I’ve been here before and let me tell you its going to hit soon but how soon.  And am I going to be the one it hits for?  These are questions that I can’t currently answer and I don’t know if I should just go to bed and be thankful that I came up over two thousand dollars in one day out of thin air.

Today is the Day, I can feel it in my bones

I’ve got $5 burning a hole in my pocket hahahaha today is going to be a fucking masterpiece of a day.  I don’t smoke cigarettes but that doesn’t mean that I’m not smoking….hot that is.  Time for breakfast which is going to be handled by an e-comp of $50 most graciously placed on my player’s account by Rosangelica the beautiful hostess who enables me on my quest to be the poorest high roller the casino world has ever laid eyes on.  I’ve got my two year old daughter here babbling hi dada hi dada hi dada hi dada hi dada hi dada hi dada its enough to drive a man loopy.  Our room is the usual disgusting mess thanks to Avondra and her dog Spot.  By the way we are selling Spot to a man in Escondido for $250 on Saturday morning.  If anyone else wants a tea cup Chihuahua potty trained to a newspaper and cute as a button except for her sharp little fangs and wants to offer more than $250 before Saturday then let me know, I’m all for it.

A man has a responsibility to feed his family so I’ve gotta go for now but I may check back in later when I have more time to unload some shit off of my brain.

Twice Your Monkey

Twice Your Monkey

Red Card Blues

There is a certain casino in California where the pinnacle of the players club rankings is the Red Card.  Basically it breaks down like this.  When you walk in off of the streets, a newcomer to the casino and you go over to the Players Club sign up section and ask for a player card they will give you a silver card, provided that you have identification.  The card expires July 31st of the current year.  You have that long to work your way through the various levels and wherever you finish by July 31st is where you are going to be for the next six month period.  You get it?  If you manage to play through $50,000 then you will attain Gold Card status.  Gold card status is pretty good.  There are events for the gold card members like I got a cruise given to me and I got my choice of a bunch of appliances and shit like that and ended up settling on this phone charger called a Mophie.  Supposedly that was the most expensive item that day.  You will also get some free play per week maybe like $50 a week along with some EZ Dine money that they give you twice a month like $25  and maybe 4-6 free hotel rooms.  The hotel rooms are the shit.  Its totally free except for a $50 deposit per night which is cash.  Actually that works out good for you too though because if you are staying three days you have to put up $150 which is good in this sense….if you are a degenerate spend every last fucking dime gambler then at least when you check out you have $150 cash money which is a lot if you have been walking around aimlessly for the past day and a half without a penny to your name.  Anyways you are going to be at gold status forever if you are the majority of the guests that come through.  To make it to the next level which is Platinum you have to get past $200,000 total play through and that is a big chunk of change, too big for most people.  I was gold for ten days before I made it to Platinum and I was Platinum for 5 days before I made it to Red.  Anyways Platinum is a good level to be at and its where you really start seeing the benefits of using your card every time you play.  For instance it is fun to go up to the cashier when there is a huge line and go stand in the Red/Platinum line and listen to everybody in the normal line start bitching when the cage supervisor opens up a window just to take care of you.  Same thing at the hotel.

When you are checking in. I look like a bit of a crazy kid with tattoos, usually wearing sunglasses inside, bleach blonde hair sort of like a skater punker or something like that. So when I go to that platinum line even the clerks are looking pretty resentful and doubtful of whether I have done what is necessary to attain that status. Its kinda fun anyway. The buffet line is the longest line in the casino. On the weekends it is fucking insane as in 300-500 deep waiting for hours. Of course as a Platinum or Red card holder you just saunter over to the very front of the line much to the crowds chagrin. They get all upset about it too. Guys cussing at you, old ladies crying, children throwing things and biting their parents, I’ve even seen one older guy take out a shovel he had hidden in his trench coat and smack his wife in the back of the head killing her instantly…all because a young sassy kid like me went to the front of the line. It was crazy, there were all these people yelling Worldstar Worldstar and shit was just going off.

So yeah for the six days I was a platinum club player I certainly enjoyed it very much.

Red card status comes when you pass $350,000 in tier points which doesn’t take that long. Not as long as it may seem. At least for me it didn’t take long. A total of six days but I was on a roll like a big dog and pretty much high as fuck and awake for that whole week. When you are winning it is easy to do that playthrough because obviously you are playing with the casinos money so its not out of the ordinary to play $100 a spin several times in a row or even play on the $100 machine where it is $200 per spin just to play. I’ve won two jackpots on that machine both of them $2,000 so not really that much but I have a friend name Boberto that has won $96,000 and $32,000 and several other ones on that same machine. Once you have red card status the world is your oyster. They have really hot Asian girls waiting for you in your high roller sweets specifically for the purpose of giving you a tongue bath. The Asian tongue bath is a delightful experience and if you have never tried it, I recommend it. Red card status also gives you access to a secret casino within the casino where only red card players can go plus one guest. The mysteries that await you at Club Red Card are exciting and sexual in nature for the most part they also give away money to all who enter through its hallowed doors. A helluva place all while it lasted

Rich Man Poor Man

When on a roll it is important to a) put some aside for a rainy day b) remember that what goes up must come down c) keep in mind that you are a fucking moron and that you will be broke again soon.  Everything is the worst of the worst today.  Avondra and Clarice are with me so that means my room is a fucking dirty horrible pigsty because Avondra is part devil child as I mentioned before.  The latest trick she did was putting some cardboard or something in the toilet and flushing it so now it is irretrievably plugged up.  Her fucking dog, a tiny ass tea cup Chihuahua is just pissing and shitting indiscriminately in the room and for a one pound dog that little thing can generate some pretty big puddles of pee pee and some really amazingly big poops.  The other day when I was in my other room 8126 the dog pissed in the bed that was pretty fucking gay.  Then I was laying opposite way of the pillows and got up and saw that I had been smashing some dog poop too.  That made me really happy, so happy that I just wanted to paint big smiley faces all over the place.  By the way this resort casino does not allow pets and I don’t have any pets but Clariice thinks its okay to fuck my program up wherever I am so she just brings the fucking dog with her.  Its pretty fucking bleak this situation.  As I type this I see that there is a message on the room phone which is probably hotel security asking if we got rid of the dog yet.  They came up here yesterday after someone complained that there was people fighting in the room.  They saw that we had a dog which as a ten diamond player I really should have known that dogs are not allowed and I was pretty humiliated.  The situation as it exists is pretty absurd.  Nobody is happy except perhaps for Avondra who is too young to really know the difference.  I have got to figure it out now.  I have only one more day after today here at the hotel and then I am going to be ass out on the streets because I am not playing anything so therefore they don’t want me here.  Especially when I am getting a free room.  Oh well I don’t have time to even really continue this because I have to go hustle up some cash somehow.  Thinking of selling my ass if anyone is interested let me know.

Sick Shit

When somebody is funding your gambling and giving you several hundred dollars, actually more like over a thousand dollars and with several of those hundred dollar bills you actually win between 2-6 hundred I would say it is imperative to put away at least half of the winnings and not touch them no matter what.  Period the end.  The reason why I have a suite but no cash at all is because I lacked the discipline to take my wins and bank them away.  I could have easily socked away over a thousand last night but I was chasing the Aztec Temple jackpot.  I kept going back to the same old machine and it just wasn’t giving me that elusive fat bonus round win that meant a hand pay.  One time I did get 2600 quarters out of it which is plenty but then I started betting two quarters per line or 50 quarters per spin.  $12.50 per spin doesn’t really sound like that much.  When you are winning on several of them it really isn’t that much either.  Approximately 5 spins per minute and you lose all five well that comes out to $62.50 per minute.  Say you have maybe ten times that in credits on the machine and you can easily see that any prolonged losing streak means disaster and back to broke status in ten minutes minimum but often more like thirteen minutes.  The point is that a quarter of an hour to lose $600 extrapolates out to $2400 loss an hour when you are running poorly.  That’s not even running bad.  That’s actually with you winning some spins.  You can see for yourself that over any extended period of time where the machine is losing more than it is winning which is very often the case, you are in for a major catastrophe financially speaking unless you have thousands and thousands of disposable cash to throw at the machines.  When I break it down like this it is pretty easy to see the importance of discipline in gambling.  A major category of this discipline is taking your wins and never giving them back.  That is very simple to grasp intellectually but quite difficult to practice in reality mainly because of the fact that humans have only a limited amount of money they can afford to throw at the machines so super diligent action taking all of the wins could mean a very short gambling session and this is something people usually aren’t in to.  They start with good intentions at least I always do but then there is an unspoken  battle that materializes with the machine and yourself.

This battle often gets very personal as ludicrous as that sounds.  Men are  fallible  beings and emotions like anger often rule the part of the brain responsible for decision making.  This leads to irrational actions like spewing all of the money in your pocket, on your credit card and atm card, that you can borrow from your chick, your friends etc.  Spewing it all into a machine devoid of emotion and not subject to your  rantings  and ravings nor prone to giving into your frantic pleas and meaningless threats of physical harm.

Nothing you do is going to have any effect upon the machine you are playing except for continuing to feed it currency. The machine does not give a rats ass where you get the money that you feed it. If its rent money, your kids college savings, your inheritance, your 401k, your entire tax refund, the proceeds from the sale of your house, money acquired in nefarious ways, money borrowed from banks, credit cards, bounced checks, cash advances, saved change, garage sale proceeds, stolen from your wife’s purse or your husbands wallet, money you owe the connection, money you owe to Southern California Edison, money you get for pawning your gold jewelry, selling your ass on the corner, panhandling on the freeway offramp….it all spends the same once you put it in the machine and the machine does not give a fuck how much you need that money to turn into more money. You are going to win or lose according to a predetermined algorithm and there are no actions you can take other than to keep feeding the fucking thing that is going to get you any closer to your goal of cashing out a jackpot. If you have enough time and money to throw at the machine eventually you are going to win something but over time the amounts you win can never be more than the amounts you put in the machine. It is impossible. Fools gold to think otherwise. These massive fucking casinos are not as luxurious and decadent as they are because the majority of the guests who walk through their doors are winning money and coming out ahead over the long haul. Think about it man.

I’m sitting here writing what I know in my heart mind body and soul is so fucking true and yet I am just as much as a sucker as everyone else and I want to cut this sermon short and go downstairs and see what I can do on the machines. Especially Aztec Temple. Now that is some


forward….into battle

So this morning at 11a.m. I woke to the sound of my laptop playing some weird sports video or something.  Like it was basically background noise of a crowd and I knew it had been playing for quite some time because the general din shaped my dreams and for a moment I couldn’t tell whether I was in heaven or hell. The messy tore back shape my room was in with honey roasted peanuts trampled into the carpet as well as at least one grape jelly packet, one ketchup packet and what appeared to be a peanut butter cookie at first only served to augment the belief that I had woken up in hell.

I had to take a piss and I yawned and stretched and swung myself off the bed and began ambling slowly toward the private toilet within the bathroom which is a feature in all deluxe rooms at the Indian casino I had been attempting to outwit for several years.  Curled up in a ball amidst all the carnage was my daughter Avondra with her ba ba perched an inch away from her mouth and her tea cup chihuahua nestled in her mullet hairdo.  Also present was her grimy blanket. It was rolled up in a ball as usual.

Side note:: it really is true that babies get attached to little grimy disgusting blankets.

Anyhow I saw that Avondra had gotten into my wallet and strewn the contents everywhere, an old trick from when we used to have our own house in Valencia.  It always did my heart good to see my shit tossed haphazardly around the place and I usually showed my pleasure at my bubble headed daughters antics by screaming obsenities cheerfully  while dancing like a monkey.  Today was no different.  I was really on my way to starting my day off about as badly as I could imagine as it was and then I picked up my phone and saw a message from my casino hostess Roseangelica with a cryptic 5 word message: You need to call me.  This was in place of the usual good morning I extended your room for three days text I usually got from her on days where I was scheduled to check out.

Fearing the worst and actually knowing in your heart that the worst case scenario was a reality feel much the same way.  “You have to checkout” the words flew out of her mouth to which I responded with an unseen facegrab and simultaneous groan of misery upon looking around at the tornado stricken disaster that used to be room 8126.  Clarice was an unconscious lump in the bed, it was already checkout time, I had no money, we hadn’t packed even one item, we had nowhere to go and we weren’t even close to getting along well and that is under some really favorable conditions.  Throw in any one of life’s myriad challenges to our toxic togetherness and you have all the makings of a kick ass party lol.  Well maybe not.  Hahahahaha.

Fortune favors the bold or so I have been told. Just saying.  Well five minutes later when I had just been told that she loved this dirt bag’s cock she fucked several times  and that I sucked in bed and I was a small dicked faggot to boot I had second thoughts on whether I had overdone it on the boldness thing when I ripped the covers off of her while screaming, “reveille reveille all hands on deck” at the top of my lungs.

Small dicked faggots don’t have thick 8 inch cocks like I did but compared to the horse cocked freaks she had been fucking since getting started on her “sexual rampage” a couple weeks back I was hung like a church mouse.  It probably felt like I was tossing a hotdog down a hallway to her when I had gotten my groove on the night before.  Regardless of the fact that she might be the only girl I have ever fucked that thought i had a small dick I was pretty dismayed by her comment.

Things quickly spiraled out of control and ended with both of us looking at each other with daggers in our eyes.  Her look told me she was going to be getting stuffed full of loser dick as soon as she got back into Valencia and not just by one dude.  Anything to twist the knife in that much deeper.  Only a true sap gets sad over a whore and my hurt feeling (yeah that one feeling) quickly repaired itself and now I hope she gets fucked by a busload of sailors freshly back from18 months at sea.  That is not false bravado either.  Damaged goods are damaged goods and she is not conducive to my gaming lifestyle so au revoire Clarice.

I’m sitting at the high limits bar penniless at the moment but I’ve got a few logs in the fire.  And even though I had to check out for one day I will pick myself up lick my wounded pride and start a fresh adventure.  Spring is in the air and hope springs eternal.

Sitting on top of the shit pile

Dissolved a viagra chewable on my tongue about two hours ago so I could walk around the casino floor with a pocket full of cock. Its the next best thing after cash to be carrying around and is a general salve for my wounded psyche.  Clarice and Avondra ended up at my proverbial doorstep yesterday which was just lovely as you can probably imagine.  Avondra is such a cute little demon child that it is impossible to stay mad after she wreaks havoc on a hotel room with reckless abandon and innocent child like fervor.

Is there such a thing as innocent child like fervor? I fucking doubt it.  Whatever the case may be, Avondra can fuck some shit up to a horrifying level so fast it makes it look like you just got victimized by a gang of home invasion robbers.  Then I got her mother, Clarice, who I seem to be neck and neck with in our toxic, destructively mind shattering race to nail down the Most Promiscuous Whore of 2015 Award.  Something is wrong with us.  Not because we fuck so indiscriminately but because we come back to the same “relationship” table time after time where we both attempt to defend and rationalize behavior that is not going to be viewed kindly by each other, a judge hahahaha or future readers of this prolific account of our comings and goings.

Suffice to say there has been a fair bit of angry words and hurt brains and wounded pride since she got here.  Of course I tell myself that gambling with anger and resentment inside my soul is not the reason why I keep busting out to the zero dollar level but in my heart I know the truth.  Something has got to give soon because this lifestyle is going to be impossible to sustain for much longer.

Indian Casino Dweller

I was shuffling slowly around the casino floor half asleep at 3 a.m. (3 hours ago) dead in the water and pretty pissed off at myself and the Aztec Temple machines that took somewhere around $4,000 off of me in the previous six hours. My hopes weren’t high for obtaining any money at that late hour on a slow Friday morning but then miraculously I saw a familiar face and I screamed, “Paula!!” Paula was the lady friend of this guy named Frank. Frank is a 65 year old fellow who has money. I’m not really clear on where his money comes from but he literally does have a good bit of it. I’ve heard a couple of different stories about the source of funds. One of them is that he bought a thousand or so shares of Berkshire Hathaway stock back when a share was somewhat affordable at $5,735 a share. We’re talking 1990 era.   Now a single share of Mr. Buffett’s stock is like $214,000. That would explain Franks source of cash. Another story that I heard from this chick named Lissa Giles is that Frfank invented keyless entry. That seems a bit farfetched to me but who knows. I can’t really refute it since I have not done any research on the claim and actually I don’t even know Frank’s last name. In any event 65 year old Frank and I have a little bit of history together. He is actually a really cool guy who I have sort of followed around the casino chatting up during the many periods where I have been so fucking broke and desperate that it was almost paralyzing me. When I very first met him I noticed right away that he liked young pretty girls, girls that had a bit of a hard edge to them, whether they were official hookers or just gamblers who would fuck for a bankroll or whatever, Frank liked them. He gave these little bitches hundred dollar bill after hundred dollar bill and I was immediately jaded and jealous of the fact that these chicks had pussies. They even managed to be stuck up and arrogant in that way only someone with cash can act toward someone with zero cash.   Anyway old Frank was a big fan of the dollar slots with five reels and nine lines where you could bet up to $45 a spin and the variance was fucking massive. Thousands of dollars, small fortunes for just about everyone else on the planet were literally being lost and won and lost again in a matter of 60 seconds to five minutes. If you managed to push cash out after you won a spin that paid you $1,111 instead of playing it down to nothing again 90 seconds later and being forced to stuff crisp new $100 bills in the fucking thing then you could make money. Streaks where you win several thousand are commonplace.   Just as commonplace though are the streaks where you lose several thousand. The losing streaks seem to happen quicker than the wins. They are infinitely more painful than the pleasure derived from the wins. For one thing it is painful as fuck to feed all those hundred dollar bills that look so beautiful in your new Roberto Cavalli wallet into the 12 year old slot machine and not get one thing in return so it seems like the stupidest fucking decision only a block head moron idiot suicidal piece of shit dunce would make. The wins though are not a pile of hundreds appearing in your hand. No they are just a digital number, one that causes undue concern that it doesn’t disappear, located in the top left or bottom left corner of the screen. Its absurdly simple to lose thousands of dollars that exist only in the form of that digital number on the screen because it is often hard to see the reality of that number in its real money real world counterpart either currency like 20s and 10s and fives and hundreds and fifties or in merchandise or rent paid or cars or pussy or clothing or so many other things that I desperately need on a daily basis but do not possess because I am a compulsive gambler without any financial security or nest egg whatsoever. Literally the cash I have at any one moment is the only cash that keeps me from being in abject poverty, a street bum without a penny. Good god how I do go on. Like Scarlett O Hara in Gone with the Wind I just love to hear myself talk or type. So back to Hank.

Like I said I was broke as shit and I saw Paula who is Franks girlfriend. She is about 45 and good looking. Good looking enough that I would like to fuck her. I heard she used to be a hooker and I can believe that but I like hookers so that is not a disparaging remark as far as I’m concerned. Anyway she led me to Frank who was in the high limits room playing the Indian Pyramid game which was anywhere between 15-150 dollars a spin. I arrived he had $700, within 4 seconds he had $1500 and Paula was telling him to cash out because they had a 4 am breakfast appointment to purchase some meth I think or that is the impression I got. Anyhow Frank is a real asset to me in times like this because he has a sexual appetite that is very healthy; however like many other men in his age group I’m pretty sure he is erection challenged and I have the cure for that in the form of chewable sildenafil citrate (Viagra) that I buy from a friend of mine for $1.50 per pill and I turn around and sell them for a minimum of $5 each. Which is a good profit margin but an overall material total amount only if I can sell 40 pills or 60 pills and only Frank buys them in that quantity basically whenever I see him and he has some cash. That’s a $300 shot in the arm at the witching hour where I would say 99/100 people that go bankrupt at that time are dead in the water and will need to get to stepping the fuck out of the casino. A good opportunity to make yet another run at fortune and fame to be sure. One of several hundred mini opportunities I have been blessed enough and privileged enough to receive during my casino career. As often happens on Aztec Temple I was quicker than shit down to the last hundred dollars bill and down to the end of that hundred to boot. I think I had less than $18 left total when I hit the free games and then a bunch of queens and then some aces and then free games again and before I knew it I had over $1,200 in the machine which was a miracle. A real miracle. I had gathered up $2,500 earlier and very quickly got it up to $4,000 and then turbo speed lost every penny of it in two ill-advised donation sessions on a .25 Aztec Temple game and a $1 Aztec Temple game. From $4,000 (which originated out of nowhere) back to the nowhere from which it originated in honestly a 20 minutes session in the high limits room and a two hour session at the quarters by the north cashier.   Dejected rejected sad as fuck just like I explained above. So 1,200 was a miracle. Why then did I stop by and throw every single dollar I had just won (cashed out exactly $1,000 from that Aztec   Temple game) into the nickel Where’s the Gold and that other stupid game with the blue dots as the free game getters that come on the first three reels. The losing quickly got out of hand for a paltry $1,000 bankroll and I desperately sunk ten one hundred dollar b ills in either one or the other with neither of the piece of shit machines hitting even a win of $100. On where’s the gold I got the free games after spending like $500. I got two wilds and five free games which would have been hundreds of dollars of payback at any other time but this time it fucked me hard and I won like 350 nickels or some stupid ass fuck shit like that. Long story short I lost that whole grand like a fucking toxic samurai warrior and it’s so tragic that I have to laugh. That’s where I sit right this second at 7:08 a.m. on Friday April 24th, 2015. In my room at Pechanga typing this entry out on the laptop I got for $160 bucks from the same asshole named Devin who sold me a stolen Honda Accord which got confiscated by the police and nearly put me and my baby mama Clarice  in jail for a slew of felonies. This is the same Devin that I was informed yesterday started licking Clarice’s bloody pussy one night in the motel room I paid for in Valencia  for Clarice and my daughter Avondra. She said it felt good when she woke up so she went with it and let him fuck her too. There are so many aspects of that story that make me want to really hurt Devin very badly. He’s got a lot of nerve to put it mildly. I didn’t even ask Clarice what Devin was doing spending the night in the room that was in my name to begin with. Not to mention what gave him the mental green light to somehow get Clarice’s pajamas and panties off of her while she is sleeping and just start going to town on her pussy. How is that considered okay by anyone in this day and age? I don’t really think that it could have possibly gone down like that but I tell you what I’m going to find out how it went down because I’m going to go find Devin today and have a talk with him. After I have a little discussion with him, I then plan on challenging him to a bit of fisticuffs and hopefully I will prevail since I have taken so many mental MMA lessons. You know…each time I watch the UFC fight night on Fox or an old Pride Fighting Championships classic like Shogun Rua vs. Quinton Rampage Jackson; I am taking mental notes and really studying technique. Mentally only though. Not physically. I’m hoping this will be enough to get my 46 year old nonsmoking self through a street fight with a 27 year old ex-convict druggie hustler dude like Devin intact with me actually coming out on top and bloodying up his face a bit and thoroughly humiliating him as much as I can. Just a little side note that you might find interesting. Clarice has this friend named Doris who is a silly bitch to be sure but kind of hot in a way. Flabby out of shape stretchy skin but pretty face but poisoned mind big time. Toxic as fuck but yet I do kind of like her as a friend at the same time. It’s hard to explain. Anyway, Doris and Clarice have been friends for about two years and in that time Clarice has had affairs with three of Doris’s current at the time boyfriends. Mike Cook, this dude named Dreaddie and now Devin. Doris actually has a kid or two with Devin. That’s neither here nor there but suffice to say that Clarice really likes Doris’s taste in guys. So much so that she has let all of them fuck her multiple times. I don’t know if Doris is just a really good Christian friend disguised as a druggie hustler Valencia bimbo or what but good for Clarice who is getting shown what unconditional love in the form of Doris’s friendship is really all about. I sincerely admire Doris for being so cool about it. There is a lot more to all of these little topics I have brought up here. Believe that. In Clarice’s case for instance I have done a lot of things to push her towards fucking everyone who gets a sniff of her. I’ve fucked girls hooked up with guys and cheated in many different ways and my story is even uglier than Clarice’s which is pretty fucking ugly. None of that has much to do with me being broke right now except it does at the same time because I really need to give Clarice some cash today for food for Avondra and whatever else and I just had $4,000 lost it and then got it back to a healthy $1,200 and lost that and now I have nothing again but this two hour long creative writing exercise. I’m going to go ahead and post it on my blog I think. People don’t need to know all this shit about me and my life but so what if they do. I’m just a tragically underperforming actor in my own screen play but I still deserve to be heard if someone wants to listen.I find myself identifying with this more and more

Skip Muirhead (Alfred Leslie Muirhead)

Alfred Leslie Muirhead is a friend of mine from Corona, California.  I didn’t actually know his name was Alfred until last night (April 30, 2014) when my friend Dave Colgin told me that Skippy Muirhead had died a few years earlier.  i was shocked to hear that Alfred Leslie had passed away.  Skip was a pretty cool friend and we always got along pretty well.  My wife Briar met Skip when she lived in California back in 2009.  Skip hooked us up with some illicit substances which turned out to be bunk but it wasn’t really his fault and he made it good.  Skip was a hustler for sure but a cool guy and I had known him since I was about 14 when I met him down by the Showcase Theater in Corona, California.  This was when the Showcase was still a movie theater.  Dave told me that Skip died from toxemia due to using dirty needles.  I don’t know if this is true since I wasn’t aware that he used intravenous drugs but its not really that much of a reach considering what I did know about Skip.  I’m sorry to hear that he died though and I  hope he is having a good time up there with Natalie Amador, Rick Minihan and Dennis Ducarte. 

For Some Reason Lake Elsinore Is Home To A Bunch Of Pussies

I haven’t written the great American novel.  I haven’t written any novels at all.  I’m too fucking scatter brained, unfocused, lazy, tragically unprepared and apathetic to get really serious about writing a book.  Plus my girlfriend smashed my brand new HP Pavilion laptop back in September of last year.  That put a real damper on my cam4 career as well as any true aspirations of becoming a writer of note.  My blog was really cool or so I thought but after the whole Aaron Jacob Parsons situation unfolded I kind of grew lazy about blogging too.  For a guy with just a blog, I felt like maybe I had reached the pinnacle of my internet glory when I got over 12,000 hits in a day, and all the major sites like Liveleak, Reddit, 4chan, youtube showed the video and also had links to my post. 

I wasn’t going to beat that story with my usual fodder thats for sure.  Suddenly, “the hottest ass”, “catholic school hotties”  and “everything you ever wanted to know about anthony mandich” just didn’t seem like it was going to grab the readers by the throat and hold their interest.  It was too depressing to think about going back to 100 hits a day on a good day and I met this chick named Christina, got caught up in her life, realized how shitty and basically unlivable my own life was and just didn’t have time for blogging anymore.  There’s no money in it for me that’s for sure.  I’m not smart enough to figure out SEO techniques. Hell, I couldn’t even afford to renew after the initial one year period, forcing me back to a free account.  Lame.

You wanna know what’s also lame?  I remember back when I was getting hot and heavy about writing posts all the time a couple of years ago how I always thought it was a shame that I was too much of a pussy to really get real about my life and say shit like it is.  I would think of the people in my life who would read with horror what life is really like on the streets when you don’t got shit and how they would be so ashamed of me if they knew the kind of life I was living.  Well it’s even worse today.  There are people, plenty of them, who are haters and who would love to have the kind of dirt on me that I wish I had the balls to provide for them.  Unfortunately I am not going to be able to do that and I apologize.  I have a job today and I am looking for a better one and I know for a fact that employers look at the internet lives of the people that they are considering hiring and they certainly don’t want to read about how their newest senior accountant just spent the last 70 hours straight at the casino playing Cleopatra Keno instead of resting up and preparing himself mentally for the KPMG audit he has to provide support for starting Monday.  That shit doesn’t fly. 

I wanna tell you why Lake Elsinore is home to a bunch of pussies anyway.  And I will.  But it’s 1:41 p.m. and my lunch hour is over.  I have packing slips I need to match up with invoices and checks to write and spreadsheets to update before 4:00 p.m. when my real day begins.




Some things have changed. Most things never will.


Who wants to give this very good looking young man a good job?  I was recently laid off from my position as Accounting MANAGER for Alta Home Care after only a short stint.  I was shocked the day that Chris Newton, the CFO came into my office and told me that I was being eliminated due to so arbitrary revenue shortfalls that had nothing whatsoever to do with me.

I’m still pretty upset about the whole thing.  I had a nice savings going in only a very short time, thanks in large part to Stephanie Kelly, my best friend in the whole world helping me out quite a bit.  Well that is history.  The only thing I got out of the experience is some much needed confidence that I really don’t have much of a problem handling the complexity or amount of work that comes with a position of high responsibility for a company, such as Accounting Manager. 

I also proved to myself that I can dedicate myself to a position, get to work every day on time and stay later than expected without complaint, and exceed expectations in all areas including how I dress for work.  I’m proud of my efforts and really was quite hurt by the layoff.  Its time to stop beating myself up over something that I really had no control over.  I’m going to just dust myself off and put myself back out there, and hope that I can come across another opportunity to shine. 


Mandich, Anthony: He’s back, he’s black and he’s not taking any flack.


This is the first post since I didn’t pay my web site hosting fees back in March, 2013 out of nothing but laziness.  The fees were something amazingly ridiculously low, I wanna say $18, regardless though they were funny.  I didn’t pay them and I actually thought I was going to lose the whole website which would have been pretty terrible in my opinion since I have spent many hundreds of hours on this shitty blog  typing away like a moron.  Anyway is now which is in a way quite good  to know because that means if I died and the domain name I had expired, all of my content would eventually revert back to the site and that is awesome.  

I have so many things to share with you guys.  It has been one hell of a doozie of a year for sure.  I can’t wait to tell the story of a fat piece of shit named Jim Schwarz.  We will get to that in due time though kiddies.  



It’s been quite a while since I’ve updated my website.  During that time I’ve lost all of my readers I’m sure.  My goal for 2013 is to update this shit a lot more with a lot more juicy ass stories and crazy shit.  To all the girls I’ve loved before I want to bid a fond farewell to you all.  My current girlfriend and I are going to be having a baby together on April 2nd, 2013 and I am reasonably sure I am going to get married to this chick.  She’s hot and young and all that stuff so what the fuck….not to mention that I love her.  That’s important too.

Bald For Bieber–(Get Well Soon Justin)

Unfortunately, teen pop

Bieber appears near death according to Dr. Anthony Mandich, in a recent interview for the Forbes Report

sensation Justin Bieber was diagnosed Thursday October 22nd, with a relatively rare type of cancer,

Carcinoma of the penis.

According to Wikipedia, this type of cancer affects 1 in 100,000 men in the U.S. and has a low survival rate.

Symptoms include:

  • Redness of the penis
  • Rash on the penis
  • Foul smelling discharge from the penis
  • Pain in the penis
  • Growth or sore on the penis that doesn’t heal within four weeks (may look like a wartulcer, or blister), may or may not be painful
  • Bleeding from the penis or from under the foreskin
  • Change in color of the penis
  • Phimosis

Justin Bieber is a great star and we are all praying for his recovery but everyone needs to understand that this is going to be quite a fight.

I would say it will be a challenge for sure but this kid is a fighter as his true fans know and realize.  Who can forget this kids memorable battles like the SUV and the Papparazzi?

What about when he hooked up with MIKE TYSON to get those papparazzi? That was an epic battle and almost landed the young man in prison where he would have been fighting to save his ass, literally, every single minute of every single day!

Anthony Mandich, Britney Spears and many others have shaved their heads to show their solidarity for Justin Bieber, the homosexual teen heartthrob who recently underwent surgery for carcinoma of the penis and leukemia

Who can forget when Justin fought for lovein his video “As Long AS You Love Me”?  I get goosebumps everytime I see that video and can’t help but scream the words out  because they are so damn true.  Just so true.  I love you Justin!

Anthony Mandich, has been researching this story for

Man…..get well Justin!  I can’t believe you have fucking cancer man!  You have to beat that shit.  Now I know why you were vomiting on stagerecently right brother?  It was the chemo wasn’t it?  You are so brave Justin, I want to suck your majestic

According to US News and World Report this could be the origin of the cancer that is making its way through Justin Bieber’s majestic penis

penis and so do many of my friends, my guy friends… so you must be special my man!

I shaved my head to signify my allegiance to the cause and I am dedicating the rest of my life to this cancer.  Rather….to fighting this cancer.  Sorry about that I’m a bit crazy at the moment.  This news has really hit me so hard.

I’d like to thank my friends at for sharing this news with me.  Its really quite a public service you guys are doing over there on that fine site and even if you don’t get to hear it often, I want to let you know right now bros.  I love you.  I love you and I love Justin.  And apparently that means I love the cock.  

Please Don’t die

Bitter pill to swallow…that one…but not as bitter as the pill my poor pop sensation Justin Bieber probably has to swallow to help cure his penis cancer…

God Bless and God’s Speed Justin.  Get well soon little buddy….

Jynx Maze Loves Anal as Much as a Fat Kid loves Cake

Jynx Maze Loves Anal as Much as a Fat Kid loves Cake

It’s hard to imagine a young girl so dedicated to her craft that she practices day after day, cock after cock to perfect her budding anal talent.  Well folks, you have met your match in this regard if you have ever stumbled across the wonderful theatrical acting talent Jynx Maze in any of your masturbatory meanderings through the wonderful world of legal internet porn, porn for men who like women, rather then any other repugnant and often illegal side show category relating to the eternal quest to bust that nut.  


Call me a sick perverted bastard.  Go ahead.  It will just give me cause to chuckle.  Honestly, in the true hearts of a majority of the worlds population, at least of a few of those beats are for this beautiful and sexy and enthusiastic woman, Jynx Maze.  They carry those beats in their heart and some men may go through their entire life never realizing what that dull ache of unrequited lust/love/desire that forces them awake at 4:03 or 3:12 or 5:46, panting, confused…hard as a rock.  


Guys, I’m here to tell you this little sexual dynamo with the heart of gold is the real mccoy and I for one wish her nothing but the best and only implore her, as a fan, to take care of that sweet little ass.  Protect that little thing from all harm.  


Enjoy her boys…..

Sexy hooker Jynx Maze

Sexy hooker Jynx Maze

She’s a hot bitch with a great ass 

Miss Maze seems to be a very well behaved young Christian girl .  God Bless her!

Jynx Maze / Running Out of Gas / JVM Error 102 / Wal-Mart Gift Cards

She does videos that involve anal porn.  She doesn’t seem to have much of a problem taking everything a man has to offer her flesh wise while remaining calm with a positive, encouraging attitude.  I really like that about her and I just wanted to let you know that she is somewhat of a role model in the Adult Entertainment Industry, in my opinion.


Yesterday I was in this place called Desert Hot Springs driving back to Indio and I decided to stop at Stater Bros and purchase a refreshing beverage.  I ended up getting a TrueMoo which is my favorite chocolate milk.  I walked around the store drinking it in full view of the employees and everyone.  I was contemplating just ditching the empty bottle when I reached the cashier with my other purchases but decided against it because I felt that there were quite a few eyes on me.  I know you are probably thinking how terrible that the only reason I did the “right” thing was because there were people watching.  I feel you.  But I have to be honest.  If nobody was looking I would have chugged that choco milk and fled the scene without paying a penny. I want to be sorry for this but I’m not.  Image

I ran out of gas while attempting to leave the parking lot.  That was a karmic payback for my mental thievery you’re probably thinking.  Fuck that though, you are wrong.  I was actually anticipating running out of gas for a long time and I really just wanted to see how far that little Hyundai Accent with the bad brakes, warped CV joints and temporary tire on the rear right would go with the fuel light on before succumbing to reality.

I wasn’t worried about it when it finally happened.  There were two gas stations right down the street , I had my skateboard with me and I also had ten bucks on me so it was no sweat.  Thanks God for making sure that I didn’t run out of gas on the freeway or while driving with my pretty girlfriend or someplace where there were no gas stations or where I didn’t have any money on me.  That’s totally something to be grateful for really and truly. Image

The mechanics shop across the street from Stater Bros let me borrow their gas can and it was half full so I got a couple of gallons for free which is highly convenient since it allowed me to use that ten dollar bill I had in order to assuage my gambling addiction albeit for a very short period of time.  Stopped by Agua Caliente Casino in beautiful Rancho Mirage and quickly lost the ten bucks on Cleopatra Keno.  I’m really stupid sometimes.

Blah blah blah JVM Error 102Image

Blah blah blah Wal-Mart Gift Cards

Blah blah bye.Image

Anderson Silva versus Jon Jones

You heard it here first. always known for being first with the hard hitting, late breaking, adrenaline filled announcements about a myriad of topics most of them related to naked girls, gambling, drug fueled adventures in the gutter, mma fights, disparaging antecdotes about scummy serial killers and child rapists has done it again.  Don’t say I didn’t tell you…scoff at it if you must…but mark my words.  Anderson Silva and Jon Jones will meet in the Octagon and they will meet in the Octagon much sooner than you may even fathom in your puny little beta mind.

I, Anthony Mandich promise to make love to this lovely lady if the fight between Silva and Jones does not take place


Nobody really wants to see any more fights that have Anderson Silva making a mockery of the UFC and his opponent such as the crap we saw in UFC 153 against the American Psycho Stephan Bonnar.  Bonnar is tough as fuck and still he got straight knocked the fuck out with a knee to the solar plexus.  I know it was a devastating blow because I know Bonnar has heart to spare and would never lay down for an opponent.  Ever.  It wasn’t a pretty sight to see though, Silva standing with his back to the cage, arms down, actually letting Bonnar take his best shots at him to no avail.  It was a foregone conclusion when Bonnar somewhat foolishly in my opinion agreed to take this fight on two weeks notice with his pregnant wife about to give birth to a little mini american psycho any day.

So on the same token, I’m personally not enthralled with watching Jonny Bones Jones either.  He’s an arrogant dude without doubt and it would be great to see if someone could ever smash the fuck out of him and just humiliate him like he humiliates his opponents too.  But its not going to happen.  There is not a soul in that division that poses even a challenge to Jones and everyone knows it.  Rampage, Rashad, Shogun, Machida, Ryan Bader, Stephan Struve, and so on and so forth….none of them are ever going to get over that particular hump.  Ever.

So he’s just going to be a boring fuck.  Not the crowd drawing commodity that Dana White wants him to be.  Not in that division.  So what’s he left with for a challenge.  Well…Junior Dos Santos is an intriguing matchup.  Yeah.  Junior Dos Santos is one name I would definitely consider.  The other one is Anderson Silva.  Either one of those fights would be bad ass enough potentially that I would definitely get the pay per view instead of just watching the shit low budget style on where I get so distracted trolling their chat room, posing as legitimate chatters and just dropping gay bombs and madness that I never really pay that close of attention to the fights.

This better take place exactly as I say it is going to or I am going to feed my mom’s dog Snickers the fucking cat’s food for a week straight and nothing else.  Do you hear me Joe Silva?  Come on for the love of all that is good and holy….


Make this shit reality.



Stupid Shit You Did When You Were Younger (4chan)


More crazy shit from /b/ that they didn’t archive so I did.

TT, stupid shit you did when you were younger.

>Be in 7th grade
>Make cancer joke
>Kid’s mom just died of cancer, had no idea
>”Anon, what the fuck is your problem, you asshole?”
>”Sorry, I didn’t know!”
>Kid leaves class, crying
>Look like a total douche

Can’t remember any other specific situations atm, but I did WAY faggier things when I was younger, I was such a faggot, words cannot describe. I grew out of it, but I cringe thinking back on it.



>be in 7th grade
>homeroom teacher starts talking about a graveyard full of dead soldiers
>laugh my ass off
>teacher singles me out
>feel terrible for the rest of my life


 Anonymous (ID: ZI/RKYyo) 10/02/12(Tue)21:00:38 No.428433638


Protip for coping with these memories: you’re the only one who has them.
Nobody else will remember those things at all.


 Anonymous (ID: dA4pra/N) 10/02/12(Tue)21:04:45 No.428434201


>Be in 7th grade
>Become an evangelical Christian

Not even making that shit up.


 Anonymous (ID: OiolQUW7) 10/02/12(Tue)21:09:41 No.428434881

Replies: >>428438730 >>428439301 >>428446381 >>428465339 >>428475291>>428488932 >>428495273 >>428495772

>last day of school
>theme day, so we dress as vikings
>go to beach to get drunk with friends
>decide it would be cool to burn our books on a bonfire
>light fire
>no fire control
>blaze begins and lots of black smoke
>run for it
>town council fags roll up in a van to show some guy how good the beaches are
>sees Nordic invasion fleet burning the coastline
>they pull out cameras
>run for our lives, fearing a $6000 fine and criminal record
>running as a pack, go down street
>dead end
>they chase us in 4×4’s
>corner us
>bearded dude says “what are you doing!”
>fool got out of his car, we run away again into the bushes
>cars shoot past as we hide like Jews from the gestapo
>Viking raid successful


 Anonymous (ID: kz6HYQns) 10/02/12(Tue)21:13:22No.428435410

File: 1349226802672.jpg-(39 KB, 600×347, Falcon kick.jpg)


>tied a skateboard to a car
>vroom vroom motherfucker


 Anonymous (ID: fl4qBnmj) 10/02/12(Tue)21:14:57 No.428435596

Replies: >>428439381 >>428479720 >>428490728

Nothing feels worse than being like 10- and having a friends parent yell at you, fucking ptsd for weeks i swear


 Anonymous (ID: k0AEcE01) 10/02/12(Tue)21:15:08 No.428435621

Replies: >>428447245 >>428459593 >>428472684 >>428483686>>428495064

>couldn’t shit without getting butt naked
>would sneeze upward and let it hit me cause it felt cooling.
I was a disgusting 17 year old


 Anonymous (ID: tridAmxp) 10/02/12(Tue)21:15:40 No.428435701


File: 1349226940499.jpg-(63 KB, 600×375, srongbad.jpg)


>6th grade
>be 9/11/2001
>see planes twin towers hit on tv
>later in the day, see old 5th grade teacher
>walk up to her
>”Help Ms. Anon, don’t let the terrorists get me!”
>i laugh
>she probably didn’t


 Anonymous (ID: VMLGFheH) 10/02/12(Tue)21:20:50 No.428436392

Replies: >>428436536 >>428438030>>428462587

>be 8
>hardcore bed humping (I didn’t know it was sexual at the time)
>dad got awkward every time he saw me doing it, told me to stop

I still do it to this day


 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:21:03 No.428436419

Replies: >>428436663>>428466114

File: 1349227263871.jpg-(7 KB, 341×173, tumblr_m4udrwwsLE1qamxn7.jpg)


>tried out for a sport
> never played said sport (can’t even remember what sport it was)
>Didn’t make the team
>Parents wanted me to go to different high school anyways
>Tried out for the team, like a dumbfuck
>Didn’t make it
>Mfw all the kids who made that sport laughed at me


 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:21:52 No.428436536


Me too
Except my mom caught me, and I told her it helped me make dreams.
I have no idea what I meant, I remember saying it but not what I meant by it


 Anonymous (ID: tOE+Ljxb) 10/02/12(Tue)21:22:52 No.428436663




 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:24:24 No.428436891

Thanks for laughing at my one time beta-ness
Actually made friends with half of them, but it was really awkward when they talked about try outs.


 Anonymous (ID: xvk08BWT) 10/02/12(Tue)21:26:00 No.428437090

Replies: >>428437180 >>428437460

>>428433110 (OP)
Every year there are less and less pictures like this, and I get more and more disappointed with /b/


 Anonymous (ID: a+S2bGA4) 10/02/12(Tue)21:26:43 No.428437180


pictures like what


 Anonymous (ID: 1l8pwHia) 10/02/12(Tue)21:27:26 No.428437301


>be 13
>smoke weed get munchies
>friend has ice cream
>eat that shit
>he comes out “dafuck, thats my ice cream
>He steals spoon
>begin to cry
>get new spoon, cry and continue eating vanilla ice cream


 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:27:34 No.428437316


Pictures that look awesome with birthday hats


 Anonymous (ID: w42+G7Dv) 10/02/12(Tue)21:27:51 No.428437369

Replies: >>428445724>>428495452

>be like 4
>go to wendys with my mom
>see fucking snorlax in line
>say mommy why is that man so fat
> say it really loud
>everyone looks at me
>think nothing of it since I’m fucking four
>get my damn burger and leave


 Anonymous (ID: skqNjZGW) 10/02/12(Tue)21:28:23 No.428437446


Grew up.


 Anonymous (ID: kQKxvn8e) 10/02/12(Tue)21:28:30 No.428437459

Replies: >>428438226 >>428443650

>>428433110 (OP)
>>428433110 (OP)

There’s so much shit I did as a kid that made me cringe now that I think about it, but I can’t think of a god damn thing now.


 Anonymous (ID: tJcm+Svt) 10/02/12(Tue)21:28:30No.428437460

fewer and fewer*


 Anonymous (ID: w42+G7Dv) 10/02/12(Tue)21:30:05 No.428437683

Replies: >>428465954 >>428470596>>428484458

>be 7
>sister is 5
>as joke we took pictures of eachother naked
>parents have no idea
>get pictures developed at costco
>policeman confronts them for CP


 Anonymous (ID: cBVfU7+Z) 10/02/12(Tue)21:32:07 No.428438030

So sad that you are fucked up because your parents couldn’t deal with human sexuality. I hope I never do this.


 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:32:47No.428438145

Cheers, anon.
This is too true for too many people


 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:33:17No.428438226

My life


 Anonymous (ID: a+S2bGA4) 10/02/12(Tue)21:36:19No.428438680

there isnt a birthday hat with that picture


 Anonymous (ID: tdT3Itct) 10/02/12(Tue)21:36:36No.428438730

oh god my sides!


 Anonymous (ID: UVp/2Xxf) 10/02/12(Tue)21:38:38 No.428439017

Replies: >>428439735 >>428440757 >>428463863 >>428475881>>428477407

>In 4th grade.
>Reading some book about the holocaust.
>Look up the word “swastika” in the dictionary, confused by its meaning.
>Some alternate definition said something about good luck.
>Convinced that the swastika was a good luck charm.
>Draws swastikas all over my papers for the next few days.
>Teacher gets pissed.
>Parents flip shit.
>Principle suspends me.


 Anonymous (ID: iiiFuvM1) 10/02/12(Tue)21:38:43 No.428439039

> Be 18
> Acquaintance at school offers me some candy.
> Jokingly say “isn’t poisoned is it”?
> Gives fake low chuckle, says no.
> Found out he was out previous 10 days for ingesting rat poison.
> Felt bad.


 Anonymous (ID: JWT0p+yW) 10/02/12(Tue)21:39:02 No.428439075

File: 1349228342787.jpg-(16 KB, 250×188, pic (16).jpg)


97% of people fall instantly asleep after visiting this website 

A weird phemomenon that even scientisst don’t have a proper explanation for. pic(398).jpg


 Anonymous (ID: ZwHY9FNl) 10/02/12(Tue)21:40:11 No.428439237

Replies: >>428440113 >>428495956

File: 1349228411603.jpg-(24 KB, 241×151, 2662-j-jonah.jpg)


>be 10th grade
>hack into high school’s domain controller
>set up domain account called chucknorris1
>IT staffdon’t know shit
>edit logon script for students and faculty from home
>add line to set tubgirl as the desktop background for all computers in school
>walk into comp sci class next morning
>tubgirl on every fucking monitor in the school; where there was a computer, there was tubgirl
>IT guy and principal furious
>bitch IT guy can’t figure out what happened
>shit stays there for an entire week
>mfw school IT is fucking dumb


 Anonymous (ID: msKcWHdl) 10/02/12(Tue)21:40:33No.428439301

i fucking died of laughter at 
>sees nordic invasion fleet burning the coastline


 Anonymous (ID: msKcWHdl) 10/02/12(Tue)21:41:03No.428439381

ah this.


 Anonymous (ID: Z1x5r0Y9) 10/02/12(Tue)21:43:36No.428439735

i fucking lol’d way too hard


 Anonymous (ID: mmvT6aGM) 10/02/12(Tue)21:45:48 No.428440057

Replies: >>428448269 >>428490027>>428500874

File: 1349228748591.jpg-(1.3 MB, 4320×2432, P1000059.jpg)


>Be in 9th Grade in Computer Applications Class
>Using Proxy to be on /b/ during School
>Find Loli Thread
>Start Looking at Loli Thread
>Few minutes later, teacher notices me not doing much typing
>Comes to inspect what I’m doing
>Minimize Thread because I didn’t want to close it lose it
>Teacher grabs my Mouse
>Freak the fuck out and turn off computer
>She assumes I was on Myspace (Because that was the cool thing at the time)


 Anonymous (ID: fY+Tjs2x) 10/02/12(Tue)21:46:13No.428440113

well done anon


 Anonymous (ID: S9TuutEC) 10/02/12(Tue)21:47:14 No.428440282

Replies: >>428455059 >>428459323>>428489961

File: 1349228834998.jpg-(52 KB, 174×175, 1269369895509.jpg)


>be 9ish 
>cycling along with someone i barely knew
>hobo strolling along with his shopping cart
>i tell the kid next to me it’s his dad
>kid says his dad died a few years ago
>LOL hard
>”i’m not joking”

other time in biology class, kid’s messing around with the skeleton that’s always standing in the corner
>tell kid behind me his dad is getting raped
>guy next to kid eyes go wide, hands in front of mouth
>kid runs out the room crying
>”his dad died 2 weeks ago”


 Anonymous (ID: mmvT6aGM) 10/02/12(Tue)21:50:28 No.428440757

Replies: >>428452764 >>428455072 >>428499931

What you were referring to was a Buddhist symbol for Peace if I remember correctly.
It looks very similar to a Swastika, except it is facing the opposite direction and is not angled like the Swastika usually is.


 Anonymous (ID: Z1x5r0Y9) 10/02/12(Tue)21:50:50 No.428440828

File: 1349229050368.gif-(860 KB, 200×150, 1348734585774.gif)


>be in 4th grade
>buy a metal capgun from corner store
>shoot that fucker errday, enjoy the sound it makes
>have brilliant idea to bring it to school one day
>shoot it in class, everyone goes apeshit, teacher ducks
>no-one found out it was me
>come lunch time, go to playground and put hoodie over head and face
>get another brilliant idea to act like I was robbing some asian kid
>asian kid freaks out, yells rape
>hall-monitors run to me and tell me to drop it
>drop capgun inside sleeve with hands up (played too much GTA at the time) 
>tell them it was a joke and it wasn’t real
>get sent to principals office, name is “Mr.Pink” or someshit
>get suspended for two weeks
>dad picks me up, talks to principal and walks me home
>on the way home he looks down at me giving me this disappointed expression and says “Too bad we couldn’t get your gun back, huh sport?” 
>mfw my dad’s fucking awesome and I didn’t get in trouble


 Anonymous (ID: IAZGKlAX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:51:03 No.428440846

Hmm i know exactly what you mean, i used to do something like that when i was real young. Well not humping, but i’d lay face down with my eyes closed on the floor or bed while listening to music and imagine stories based on the type of music. Sounds like you meant that by make dreams


 Anonymous (ID: xx2zkxNq) 10/02/12(Tue)21:52:10 No.428441025

Replies: >>428444584

Made a comment about a girl’s mustache. Truth is I didn’t mean to be an asshole, I kinda thought it was cool she could grow one, but this was in like 1st or 2nd grade.


 Anonymous (ID: S9TuutEC) 10/02/12(Tue)21:52:25 No.428441058

Replies: >>428442004 >>428444470 >>428475537 >>428490121>>428492846

File: 1349229145043.jpg-(42 KB, 480×450, 1258701618796.jpg)


>be 10
>running around in the backyard
>playing naked in the kiddy swimmingpool
>dog comes along 
>my cocks all hard for some reason
>shove it in to my dogs face hoping he will lick it
>dogs all confused
>look to my right
>neighbour looking at me right in the eyes
i will never forget the look on her face


 Anonymous (ID: ofTUDJyB) 10/02/12(Tue)21:54:19 No.428441341

Replies: >>428442072 >>428478023

i was 5, at the statue of liberty, a year after the towers went down, so you couldn’t go in, pigeons EVERYWHERE, so theres pigeon shit everywhere, run around, dad chases me, trip, have bird shit all up and down me.


 Anonymous (ID: As4SSMnW) 10/02/12(Tue)21:58:31No.428442004



 Anonymous (ID: ieDtZLSx) 10/02/12(Tue)21:58:36 No.428442016

Replies: >>428442561>>428447320

File: 1349229516115.jpg-(10 KB, 240×200, 1348788318970.jpg)


>9th grade
>joking around with student in biology
>calling each other bad names for fun
>”haha anon youre such a poopy head!”
>”haha friend youre such a weenie!”
>”haha anon youre such a silly head!”
>”haha friend youre such a nigger!”
>class goes quiet
>mfw teacher was black
>mfw friend was black
I failed that class. Hard. 
Worth it.


 Anonymous (ID: xx2zkxNq) 10/02/12(Tue)21:58:57No.428442072

underage b&


 Anonymous (ID: d765sqly) 10/02/12(Tue)22:01:48 No.428442542

File: 1349229708981.jpg-(14 KB, 300×300, extendedniggerface.jpg)


>Be in kindergarten
>On the playground
>Fat bitch in my territory
>Trying to slide on my slide
>Hit her in the face
>Teacher yells at me and I have to sit in a chair for the rest of recess 
>mfw I never told my mom


 Anonymous (ID: dNr3bvgx) 10/02/12(Tue)22:01:58No.428442561

worth it


 Anonymous (ID: cBVfU7+Z) 10/02/12(Tue)22:06:05 No.428443263


>1st grade
>young teacher sits on stool in front of class
>i stare hungrily into the cotton v betwixt her skirt
>i stare
>i stare
>legs slam shut
>look at teacher’s face
>horror and disgust
>i shame


 Anonymous (ID: D4fmE4nd) 10/02/12(Tue)22:08:30No.428443650

cool story bro


 Anonymous (ID: 2yRWTk1O) 10/02/12(Tue)22:13:13No.428444470

you know kehan?


 Anonymous (ID: HdS2svAn) 10/02/12(Tue)22:14:04No.428444584

I lol’ed and shared.
Cool story bro


 Anonymous (ID: cBVfU7+Z) 10/02/12(Tue)22:15:05No.428444761

File: 1349230505830.gif-(438 KB, 500×376, cosby no.gif)


>13, asleep
>really good fap dream
>wake up
>dad staring at you in open doorway


 Anonymous (ID: HXQBMaNj) 10/02/12(Tue)22:15:06 No.428444763


File: 1349230506298.jpg-(50 KB, 485×728, 11232223255.jpg)


8th grade english class
>teacher telling us about how boys should be wearing deodorant at this age
>someone obviously smells terrible
>discussion about why we should etc (female teacher)
>I pipe up
>”But miss, I don’t have pubic hair yet”
>meant to say underarm hair
>Teacher goes quiet, whole class starts laughing.
>didn’t end up hitting puberty until 10th grade


 Anonymous (ID: OuhANHP7) 10/02/12(Tue)22:21:00 No.428445724


>get my damn burger and leave



 Anonymous (ID: caqLKJLL) 10/02/12(Tue)22:24:57 No.428446374


>be in 5th grade
>playing kickball,everyone does
>huge line
> I get my turn, some fat chick pokes me
>bad kick, someone catches,I’m out
>say nothing to girl, plotting
>grab a ball, hide it, go away
>as recess ends, I call fat bitch
>set ball Down, kick directly into face
>hits glasses, she goes down
>run like hell
>never got caught, she was scared to tell


 Anonymous (ID: ltUR2mtl) 10/02/12(Tue)22:25:00No.428446381

File: 1349231100828.jpg-(82 KB, 416×459, 1345634978200.jpg)


cool story bro


 Anonymous (ID: nor0wcrg) 10/02/12(Tue)22:27:42 No.428446851


>in kindergarten
> We watching a movie
>sitin indian style on the floor 
> Girl keeps poking me
> Im like “stop” 
> she pokes me again 
> i grab her finger and break it
> I get in trouble 

Another stupid thing

> In kindergarten again 
> Go into bathroom, start pissin on toilet paper roll
> principle announces that some is urinating on the TP rolls
> i do it again, look out of stall to the exit
> some fkin girl janitor is peeking in
> Im like “uh oh”
> Walk out, janitor catches me, i offer her a million dollars not to tell
> janitor turns me in


 Anonymous (ID: LeKZlXxB) 10/02/12(Tue)22:29:33 No.428447192

Replies: >>428455015 >>428470758

>be 6th grade
>only went to school 25 times all year roughly played WOW all day everyday instead of that bullshit
>when i was there desk partner drew dicks on my desk
>blamed the skipping on him
>they passed me
>kid home schooled for 4 years
>developed tourettes somehow.


 Anonymous (ID: EfnfPFVH) 10/02/12(Tue)22:29:49No.428447245




 Anonymous (ID: OuhANHP7) 10/02/12(Tue)22:30:17 No.428447320


>9th grade
>poopy head
>silly head

shit when i was in 9th grade i cussed like a sailor.


 Anonymous (ID: caqLKJLL) 10/02/12(Tue)22:30:28 No.428447347

Replies: >>428449482 >>428468296 >>428476682

So just a little off topic question here, are your janitors like legit mentaly delayed? Because all three schools I’ve gone to they are all, as teachers call them, “special.” asking anyone here, been meaning to ask this.


 Anonymous (ID: OuhANHP7) 10/02/12(Tue)22:31:52No.428447587



 Anonymous (ID: NCgDW3i8) 10/02/12(Tue)22:31:57No.428447606



 Anonymous (ID: EfnfPFVH) 10/02/12(Tue)22:35:43 No.428448269


yah, i did something similar, except i ripped all the lines out


 Anonymous (ID: rFW8aqfj) 10/02/12(Tue)22:36:17No.428448372

>>428433110 (OP)
>Be in 7th grade
>Call kid a bastard
>Kid never knew his dad
>Didn’t even know what a bastard was, at the time
>Kid tries to fight me
>I whoop his ass
>Get suspended and look like a total douche


 Anonymous (ID: nor0wcrg) 10/02/12(Tue)22:42:12 No.428449482

well, in elementary school we had 1 janitor who couldn’t talk, he would just sound like he was trying to talk but it came out like
but besides that none of the school janitors ive seen are mentally delayed.


 Anonymous (ID: Zc0exXF+) 10/02/12(Tue)22:48:50 No.428450692

Replies: >>428450876

> be in kindergarten
> had a nanny at the time
> since it was kindergarten all teachers were women
> after breakfast teacher asks me to bring my cup into the washing room 
> I ask if there was no ‘woman’ around who would do that for me (by woman I actually meant my nanny)
> parents get called for private meeting about their parenting qualities



 Anonymous (ID: z6teoYZs) 10/02/12(Tue)22:49:18 No.428450785

Replies: >>428453237 >>428474773 >>428485105

File: 1349232558759.png-(365 KB, 796×531, zenglasses.png)


42 year old fatherfag here.
Total loser in highschool. Virginfag until college. Went after hottest chick in my grade though, and repeatedly made an ass of myself. Singing telegram, check. Passing down the entire class a tube of clearasil because she had a single pimple while I was a smelly zit ridden dork, across the entire class (pass this tube to anonchick please), and then asking her if she got it. Never went on a “date”, didn’t go to the prom.

Happy ending is that I went to a good college, got experience, got a degree in Computer Science and Applied Math, married, and have two boys, both at or below 10. I go to /b/ for laughs and the genius, but I love this thread because some dads forget what it was like to be 8 or so, and being dad-poor when I was a kid, I really dig the honest point of view.

AMA if you give a fuck.


 Anonymous (ID: 2zQI/zU3) 10/02/12(Tue)22:49:45No.428450876



 Anonymous (ID: ThAZ0mtU) 10/02/12(Tue)22:50:15No.428450963

>6th grade
>back yard pissing
>UPS man walks around
>think well already saw it


 Anonymous (ID: 0QH6HdaF) 10/02/12(Tue)22:53:50 No.428451648

Replies: >>428452598 >>428462514>>428468919

File: 1349232830333.jpg-(43 KB, 311×241, 1343446061411.jpg)


>be in 2nd grade
>had IBS (iritable bowel syndrome)
>was constapated in class
>hadnt shit in like a month
>touching my dick made the cramps go away
>didnt know what jerking off was
>called it pee-pee tickle
>sitting in computer lab
>start shakeing my legs back and forth
>cant type
>both hands frozen above keyboard
>casually put one hand it my pocket and start touching my wang
>busted in my pants
>started laughing cuz it tickled
>typed for about 5 minutes
>cramps back
>do it again
>start laughing 
> prairie dogging so bad
> get up
>start farting as i walk out of class
>teacher asks 
>”anon where you going”
>dont respond
>walk out
>run to bathroom
>take the fattest shit in the toilet
>clogged it so bad
>mfw the janitor had to deal with that


 Anonymous (ID: 2zQI/zU3) 10/02/12(Tue)22:56:47 No.428452223


>grade 2-3
>i have to piss
>”no, wait until the noon bell rings”
>piss on floor
>”who the fuck made this mess” next day
>grin face


 Anonymous (ID: NuyAzcvB) 10/02/12(Tue)22:58:36 No.428452558

Replies: >>428452767

File: 1349233116930.jpg-(50 KB, 731×550, PTGuyWithGlasses-Final-Flat.jpg)


>be in primary 6
>girl in back of class starts making a heavy breathing sound
>reminded me of the classic orgasm scene from when harry met sally
>utter the immortal line “I’ll have what she’s having!”
>no one laughs
>girl gets taken to hospital as it was a serious asthma attack and she nearly died

I still look back and laugh at my awesome wit…fuck everyone else, they’re humourless faggots.


 Anonymous (ID: 0QH6HdaF) 10/02/12(Tue)22:58:48 No.428452598

Replies: >>428453429>>428489369

2nd story
>be in 9th grade
>still have ibs (its gotten way better, im 17 in 12th grade)
>lunch before my math class
>spend entire 40 minute lunch in the crapper
>take the fattest shit about a foot long (not even kidding)
>go to math class
>kid sitting next to me asks teacher if he can go to the bathroom
>kid comes in
>”anon, someone took the fattest shit in the toilet, its reaching out of the bowl”
>laugh along like its funny
>i think he knows it was me cuz i went to elementary with him
>oh well


 Anonymous (ID: WWbtyi0B) 10/02/12(Tue)22:59:17 No.428452668

File: 1349233157060.jpg-(13 KB, 281×301, oh no.jpg)


>be 15
>smoke 8.5 grams of spice hash (we used to smoke anything we could get)
>tripping balls (first time smoking soic/hash/out of bong
>eat a full jar of pickle relish
>eat half a rotted hot dog
>mfw i wake up with salmonella


 Anonymous (ID: NaBI1/oe) 10/02/12(Tue)22:59:45No.428452764

a manji


 Anonymous (ID: 2zQI/zU3) 10/02/12(Tue)22:59:46No.428452767



 Anonymous (ID: RkBUGlBa) 10/02/12(Tue)23:00:35 No.428452917

>Be in 7th grade
>Ass hole kid calls me a faggot
>Tell on him like a faggot.
>Teacher got the wrong kid with the same name. 
>Tried telling them they got the wrong kid
>Thought i was lieing
>Fast foward to 10th grade
>Turns out that kid was gay and i forced him to get out of the closet.
>Feel terrible for the rest of my life.


 Anonymous (ID: bTaFA9ng) 10/02/12(Tue)23:02:26 No.428453237

Replies: >>428456502 >>428469617

I’m a senior in high school this year, thinking about going into CS in college, but I have no programming experience… how was it for you?


 Anonymous (ID: z3KQb449) 10/02/12(Tue)23:02:26 No.428453242


>Couple years ago
>Friends mom hung herself
>Didn’t know
>Speaking to friend
>Sister being a bitch
>Tell her my sister makes me want to hang myself
>Friend tells me her mom killed herself
>Ruin relationship with amazing friend
>Still hate myself for it


 Anonymous (ID: htj1ghrz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:03:24 No.428453429


You post some really shitty stories, anon.


 Anonymous (ID: EfnfPFVH) 10/02/12(Tue)23:03:39 No.428453471

>be 10-11
>be at school w/ my dad
>end of school year, he’s just packing up
>”come on anon, we have to go to another room”
>”k, stay here. kids been stealing stuff out of classes, if you leave close the door, it’ll automatically lock”
>k, got it
>10 min later, gotta piss BAD
>don’t want shit getting stolen
>don’t want to be locked out and away from computer
>piss in garbage can
>janitor comes by, looks in garbage
>get a dirty look
>doesn’t change the bag


 Anonymous (ID: 33qR/s1z) 10/02/12(Tue)23:04:47 No.428453672

Replies: >>428456751>>428463275

File: 1349233487081.jpg-(7 KB, 215×235, frosh9.jpg)


>Be in early elementary school
>Sep. 11th 2001
>Thought World Trade Center was World Train Center
>Teacher watching news on TV
>”Whats the big deal? It’s just abunch of trains”
>Get in trouble and get sent to office


 Anonymous (ID: 44wqhO6j) 10/02/12(Tue)23:05:07 No.428453734

Replies: >>428454949>>428474457

>be in 3rd grade
>have to take epic piss
>class mexican grabs bathroom pass before I can
>mexican is gone for like 20 minutes
>face curling up, tears in eyes, squirming violently
>unload piss in seat
>act like nothing is happening
>scoot to the front of the seat after piss is over
>puddle behind me
>cute girl sees,screams
>say it’s only water
>tells me to prove it
>fucking skeptics
>make straw out of pen
>get on my knees near seat
>look into her eyes
>maintain poker face while drinking piss puddle
>worth it to save my reputation


 Anonymous (ID: gBR6ok36) 10/02/12(Tue)23:09:18 No.428454627


>Be like 10
>playing police an thives
>me and girl vs other kid and his sister
>we catch them fuckers
>against a wall
>she softly kicks the girl
>I grab the kids head and smash it agains the wall with my 10 yo strenght
>wall had like small rocks
>kid starts bleeding
>hide in bush for 1 hour waiting for him to go back to his house
>feel bad all day


 Anonymous (ID: PyG+1XzN) 10/02/12(Tue)23:09:38 No.428454702

Replies: >>428481961

>be in kindergarden
>really need to piss but teacher tells me i dont
>okay miss
>piss all over my seat and on the floor


>be in grade one
>want to go into this sitting area but grade two kid said i am too young for it
>no im not just move
>no i cant let you
>hit her lunch box out of her hand and push her out of the way to get though
>she starts crying
>teacher aproaches me
>ANON! good on you for sticking up for your self next time just dont push
>calls up mum that afternoon telling her how proud she is of what i did


 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:03No.428454949



 Anonymous (ID: VEjKI/U0) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:23 No.428455015

Replies: >>428455504>>428493937

doesn’t matter your a faggot neckbeard.


 Anonymous (ID: 2oXlH57V) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:39No.428455059

damn that’s the worst of luck


 Anonymous (ID: EXZS8YWm) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:42 No.428455069

File: 1349233902426.jpg-(10 KB, 250×188, pic (399).jpg)


97% of people fall instantly asleep after visiting this website 

A weird phemomenon that even scientisst don’t have a proper explanation for. pic(610).jpg


 Anonymous (ID: mcE5QSUX) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:43 No.428455072

Actually, up until the Nazi’s began using the ‘right’ facing swastika, Buddhists, Hindu’s and other East Asian groups used both left and right facing swastikas, as symbols for luck, peace, good/evil, and so on. 

After the Nazi’s used the right facing one, mst Hindu and Buddhist cultures outside of east Asia dropped the right facing one, but in east Asia it is still used. 

Furthermore, other groups also used it, including the Ancient Celts, Egyptians, North American Natives, and many more. 

Lastly, and this may have changed, but a central European Navy used the right facing swastika, even after the Nazi regime used it.


 Anonymous (ID: Hw3cZTRA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:12:38 No.428455243


File: 1349233958644.jpg-(189 KB, 484×600, photo.jpg)


>be in 4th grade
>be playing 4 square as it was the shit back in the day
>some bitch says that I’m out
>tell her she is really wrong
>storm off
>have chalk in my pocket because i drew the 4 square court
>go back and write on the pavement “you all suck your asses”
>worth it


 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:13:58 No.428455504


File: 1349234038353.jpg-(46 KB, 495×378, 1349224823514.jpg)




 Anonymous (ID: QWzQ0sbS) 10/02/12(Tue)23:14:16 No.428455549

File: 1349234056468.jpg-(28 KB, 400×400, 1270427705803.jpg)


>7th grade
>discovered a chan site in the 6th grade so I had a plethora of weird fetishes already
>teacher is gone a lot of the time due to medical issues so we have a substitute a lot
>one of the substitutes is very pregnant
>massive erection everytime she taught
Thinking back on it I’m about 50% sure she noticed. I have no regrets.


 Anonymous (ID: apNVNRIM) 10/02/12(Tue)23:15:10 No.428455723

iu know it’s not ops creation, but thats funny as fuck of a pic.


 Anonymous (ID: ObEBV50B) 10/02/12(Tue)23:16:17 No.428455938

Replies: >>428456145 >>428456218 >>428478057 >>428494182>>428496276

>be 15 on summer break
>brother be 8
>no one is home except us
>we decide to play “husband and wife”
>i put make up on and girly clothes
>we go into their room and I suck his 8 year old dick
>did this everyday until I moved out for college
>were both still straight as fuck


 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:16:48No.428456039

File: 1349234208581.png-(11 KB, 390×470, 1343007890261.png)


mfw this thread


 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:17:22No.428456145

>suck dick
>straight as fuck
choose one


 Anonymous (ID: Hw3cZTRA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:17:49 No.428456218


if you put a penis in your mouth, your not straight. Sorry


 Anonymous (ID: cEhL62U9) 10/02/12(Tue)23:18:12 No.428456287

Replies: >>428456468 >>428475087>>428477674

>be in school
>hot girl in front of me
>She drops her pencil
>She bends over to pick it up
>She’s not wearing panties
>Turns around and looks at me
>”Like what you see?”
>Whole class goes “Ooooooooh”
>Palms get sweaty
>knees weak, arms are heavy
>it’s falling out of my pockets already
>mom’s spaghetti


 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:19:09 No.428456468


copypasta and very obvious


 Anonymous (ID: z6teoYZs) 10/02/12(Tue)23:19:19 No.428456502

File: 1349234359122.jpg-(48 KB, 722×542, mousetub.jpg)


Programming is just learning, I find most computer games a bit like computer science. DayZ, for example, requires you do ARMA bootcamp. Other games require you to acclimate to their interpretation. Math is harder. Math was true, is true when discovered, and will be true forever. Computer science is so out there and hard to analyze, that you can do some incredible shit just with imagination.

Can you do CS? Mr, you can do anything you fucking want.

You just have to want it. As I get older, it’s the want that becomes difficult to obtain. But I learned this much, do not stand still. The world is always moving and treats the idle harshly.


 Anonymous (ID: ERYJctXt) 10/02/12(Tue)23:19:44 No.428456564

me and my friend were kickin each others desks. i pushed his and it knocked over our substitute teacher who was this 80 year old holocaust survivor. some faggot caught her and she was pissed. some ugly chick called me an idiot and i felt bad.


 Anonymous (ID: /4/iYyWH) 10/02/12(Tue)23:20:59 No.428456751


underage b8


 Anonymous (ID: RkBUGlBa) 10/02/12(Tue)23:24:14No.428457282

>be 13
>showed 8 year old cousin my penis
>feels bad to this day
>wounder if she remembers


 Anonymous (ID: lJqp0zlb) 10/02/12(Tue)23:24:39 No.428457361

Replies: >>428457589>>428457828

>police and thives 
why don’t you stop being a faggot and call it cops and robbers like everyone else??


 Anonymous (ID: B8Ue9twr) 10/02/12(Tue)23:25:36 No.428457519

Replies: >>428457923 >>428475338

>be in 7th grade social studies class
>studying World War 2
>every time Hitlers name is mentioned, me and a few friends do NAZI salute and scream mein fuhrer
>after about 5 times of this teacher explodes in rage
>teacher leaves class in tears
>find out teacher is jewish
>0 fucks given

I spent a lot of time in the office.


 Anonymous (ID: gBR6ok36) 10/02/12(Tue)23:25:58 No.428457589

because english is not my main languaje. I dont give a fuck about how you call it in your country


 Anonymous (ID: FpsMS6fm) 10/02/12(Tue)23:26:21 No.428457652

Replies: >>428458017 >>428475443

>be 12
>I knew a lot more about computers at this age than my it teacher
>make a small program that opens up a full screen picture of a blue screen after some minutes
>picture changes into a black guy with really bad teeth
>the word nigger starts flashing in black and white all over the screen (the word wasnt a big deal in my country at the time but still wasnt appropriate)
>the program shuts down and deletes itself
>make a script that starts the program when my it teacher logs on the next time

>see said teacher in the school library the next morning
>oh shi- he’s having a presentation for the principal and a bunch of adults I had never seen
>program starts, see that everyone stops talking
>see how everyones eyes get wider and wider
>run away
>luckily I was never caught


 Anonymous (ID: Eg6FEHfV) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:03 No.428457773

Replies: >>428483038

>be in 5th grade 
>get a new kid in our class from kentucky or whatever 
>decide to fuck with him 
>nobody is talking to him 
>he’s just chillin by himself next to the door 
>walk up to him and say hi 
>he says hi back and looks happy that somebody is acknowledging him 
>tell him I’ll brb 
>sneak inside
>no teachers around 
>no cameras either because white school 
>take the biggest shit of my life in the middle of the main hallway 
>piss as well
>go back outside and find a teacher 
>tell her new kid shit in the hallway 
>”what are you talking about,anon?” 
>say it again because apparently I didn’t make myself clear 
>she runs into the school and comes back out, grabs the kid by his arm and takes him inside
>he was suspended for a week, but he moved the week after 
I was such a little faggot


 Anonymous (ID: BSbaAFvU) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:08No.428457784

>be 6
>doing art
>man I love art
>older brother showed me WW2 stuff the day before
>didnt know what swastika was
>drew heaps on my page
>teacher didn’t give a fuck
>take it home
>give it to dad
>dad gets mad at me and says this means I hate myself
>cry because I didnt understand
>my dad is jewish


 Anonymous (ID: sLkCt2Rd) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:10No.428457790


10/10 reply. would read again.


 Anonymous (ID: dsNkCgcU) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:21 No.428457828

Replies: >>428458334 >>428464881 >>428470926

Because everybody had different names for the same game and he just happened to call it police and thieves?

Seriously, what did you call the game where one person wasn’t allowed on the playground equipment and had to tag the others? Mine was something about a lava monster or something.


 Anonymous (ID: dsNkCgcU) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:52No.428457923

My fucking sides


 Anonymous (ID: YAjVgvQ3) 10/02/12(Tue)23:28:28No.428458017



 Anonymous (ID: un2Uhkyi) 10/02/12(Tue)23:29:52No.428458248

File: 1349234992880.jpg-(43 KB, 400×500, 4chinzfag.jpg)


>>428433110 (OP)
> I was such a faggot
> Is such a faggot

Why do you lie to us, OP? You lying faggot.


 Anonymous (ID: FFwfZUl0) 10/02/12(Tue)23:30:22 No.428458334

The rest of the world calls it Lava Monster. Welcome to the club, I guess…


 Anonymous (ID: 2Y8N6krM) 10/02/12(Tue)23:30:49 No.428458401

Replies: >>428494714

>be 12
>bored with 2 friends
>we decide to draw random shit at the classroom tables during lunch time
>I drew a huge penis across all the table
>me and friends laugh at this act
>class starts
>other students get horrorized at the huge cawk
>they start asking who did that
>Almost freaking out at the thought that my friends will ditch me.
>luckily they say nothing
>principal comes to the class
>we lose 1 fucking hour of class because principal won’t stop talking about how immoral that was and blah, blah, blah…
>sweating like a pig the whole time
>principal notices it
>”why are you sweating, anon?”
>”I-it’s just hot in here”
>random cumdumpster says “it was him!”
>teacher steps in and says: “anon would never do this. Right, anon?”
>”O-of course”
>principal still suspicious but leaves classroom
>”haha, that was close, anon” says one of my friends
>”heh, sure…”
>don’t do anything remotely dangerous again for the whole year


 Anonymous (ID: qK9eoEo2) 10/02/12(Tue)23:31:12 No.428458462

Replies: >>428460098>>428460129

File: 1349235072970.jpg-(8 KB, 217×265, mfw.jpg)


>Be 16 year old lesbian
>sexting girlfriend
>facebook notification comes up
>sext girlfriend back
>mfw identically post to facebook


 Anonymous (ID: RqME/V+6) 10/02/12(Tue)23:31:23 No.428458484

Replies: >>428458851 >>428476535 >>428479345>>428486175

>be in 1st grade
>walk up to girl who i liked who had glasses
>ignorantly say ‘hey those glasses kind of make you look like you have four eyes’ not realizing that was an insult
>mfw she bursts into treats and runs to the girl’s bathroom to cry
>mfw i didn’t know she was bullied every day because of her glasses
>mfw one of her friends told a teacher and i was in big trouble
>mfw no face


 Anonymous (ID: ERYJctXt) 10/02/12(Tue)23:33:19No.428458781

i bet you’re the life of any party you go to.


 Anonymous (ID: gBR6ok36) 10/02/12(Tue)23:33:47No.428458851

File: 1349235227200.jpg-(13 KB, 349×302, 1343271760145.jpg)




 Anonymous (ID: FxlJTqZr) 10/02/12(Tue)23:34:26 No.428458940

File: 1349235266186.jpg-(14 KB, 181×172, image.jpg)


>1st grade
>had to shit really, really bad
>teacher: let’s go outside class
>i was terrified
> poo starts to prairie dog
> while outside I try to hold it in
> let a large rock hard shit out
> silently panic
>go to corner of garden 
>I reached my hand down and grabbed it
> I dropped the slimy thing behind me with the best poker face of any person ever
> walk 2 or 3 feet away innocently and wipe hands thoroughly in grass 
>”What is that??” Some dumb bitch screams
> mfw I hear that
> teacher dismisses it as mud
>nobody knows anything
Most relieved part of my life.


 Anonymous (ID: qK9eoEo2) 10/02/12(Tue)23:35:11 No.428459035


>be 14
>look up porn on home computer
>start watching futa
>mom comes home
>exit out of page
>hours later mom is on computer
>futa page is up on screen
>grounded for 2 months
>mom gets therapist
>most fucking awkward guy in the world


 Anonymous (ID: sFQWP072) 10/02/12(Tue)23:37:08 No.428459307

Replies: >>428459890 >>428466178

File: 1349235428402.gif-(1.99 MB, 196×235, dancingblack.gif)


>8th grade
>fat and can’t jump high
>kids make fun of my air force shoes cause i couldnt jump high
>”Anon nice navy force 3’s”
>everyone laughs and i feel bad 
>mfw i end up graduating at the top of my class in the Navy seals with over 300 confirmed kills


 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/02/12(Tue)23:37:14No.428459323



 Anonymous (ID: oJdlg2m/) 10/02/12(Tue)23:38:51 No.428459593

I used to have the same problem with shitting, was caught once in a public stall by brother and father shitting naked with a load of clothes laying around, as it was snowing and i had about 3 coats on.


 Anonymous (ID: QWzQ0sbS) 10/02/12(Tue)23:38:57 No.428459606

I don’t know how old I was when this happened but I pretty little like 3rd grade.
>have friend from south africa
>he wasn’t murrican so no circumcision
>something happened with his dick and they had to chop part of it off
>it looked really fucked up
>I know how it looked because he thought it was funny and showed people


 Anonymous (ID: sLkCt2Rd) 10/02/12(Tue)23:39:35 No.428459715

Replies: >>428460309

>in middle school
>in P.E. (physical ed)
>fucking hate p.e. because our coach just flirted with the girls all fucking period, then would get randomly pissed and make us do pushups
>its dodgeball day. 
>normal game of bullshit, I play outfield so I can talk to other neckbeards
>last at bat for my team, i’m up
>kick the absolute shit out of the dodgeball
>hit some bitch directly in the nose
>she is knocked out cold
>i’m running as fast as my awkward legs will carry me
>get a fucking homerun because of it


 Anonymous (ID: SgGi48pT) 10/02/12(Tue)23:40:04 No.428459780

>Be sophomore year
>Some kid (football player) senior, really popular died in a car crash the night before.
>didn’t have myspace so I didn’t know shit about it.
>go through hallwayy the next morning.
>hallway is dead quiet dafuq.jpg
>I yell “what’s the matter with everyone, did someone die or something?”
>cheerleaders all burst out crying giving me scolding looks.


 Anonymous (ID: dn2+vfii) 10/02/12(Tue)23:40:15 No.428459818

File: 1349235615482.jpg-(27 KB, 350×204, spittakes-11-7-11-cropped(…).jpg)


>be in 4th grade
>night before school my sister makes a joke
>”Your epidermis is showing”
>My mom says it means skin
>I think its funny
>Next day at school
>Sitting at a table with 3 of my peers
>Look at fat black chick
>I say, “Your vagina is showing”
>Somehow mixed up the words but didnt know better
>She makes a big fuss
>I don’t know why
>Tells teacher
>Teacher tells me to say it again, I do
>She takes me out of class
>In principles office
>Still no idea why I’m in trouble
>They call my parents in
>Someone finally gets the confusion
>They explain what ‘vagina’ means

>Realize her vagina really was showing


 Anonymous (ID: ERYJctXt) 10/02/12(Tue)23:40:41No.428459890



 Anonymous (ID: aZQ1LFVA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:42:05 No.428460098

Replies: >>428472470>>428494807

>No tits or timestamp (for sufficient proof femininity of course)
Nigga, do you even 4chan?


 Anonymous (ID: 8c2nF4fC) 10/02/12(Tue)23:42:18 No.428460129

Replies: >>428476162>>428494850

tits or gtfo


 Anonymous (ID: ATdH6ll8) 10/02/12(Tue)23:42:27 No.428460152


>Be 12
>At concert with family
>Winter so everyone has coats on(Canada)
>Urge to fap
>Came in my coat during the concert
>Continued to enjoy the concert


 Anonymous (ID: DNQqRmt7) 10/02/12(Tue)23:42:49 No.428460218


> this was saturday
> with gf & her mom going to the mall
> they were listening to county
> i’m like this station should come with a shotgun so u can blow ur brains out
> gf txts me when im sitting next to her
> “my mom’s mom shot herself in the head”
> look at her mom
> feelsbadman.jpg


 Anonymous (ID: +YwqPdUS) 10/02/12(Tue)23:43:28 No.428460309


i think you mean kickball you stupid cunt.


 Anonymous (ID: aZQ1LFVA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:43:47 No.428460375


At first I read therapist as “the rapist”
And my sides were nowhere to be found.


 Anonymous (ID: jAWGgzZw) 10/02/12(Tue)23:45:21 No.428460627

>someone called children services on my mom
>they shop up, “I’m sorry, but we have to talk to your son”
>only like 2 at the time
>great parent, not mistreated at all
>woman points to my crotch
>”If someone touches you there is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
>”That would be a good thing”
>mom and sister were terrified I was gonna get taken
>social worker just laughs it off
>mfw no face


 Anonymous (ID: sLkCt2Rd) 10/02/12(Tue)23:45:31No.428460657


indeed i did, kind sir.


 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:46:20 No.428460795


oh god the newfaggotry


 Anonymous (ID: oJdlg2m/) 10/02/12(Tue)23:48:54 No.428461216

Not sure if will be understandable but..
>Be 7
>Be out with grandfather and brother for fishing
>We stay at a house my grandfather shared with some friends for fishing
>Meet two kids that lived nearby 
>About the same age
>We quickly become friends
>At night I ask my grandpa if they could sleep over
>He’s playing cards with friends
>He says no
>I ask why
>He jokes that we will make ”change change” ( that a literal translation to a term in my country that means gay curiosity sex )
>I don’t know what he means
>Figure out he’s talking about having to bring a lot of clothes and stuff for sleep over
>Answers ” So what grandpa, we’ll do it ourselves, you guys don’t have to help ”
>He looks kinda shocked and his friends start staring at me
>I try to break the awkwardness with a joke
>” Unless you want to help”
>His friends start staring at him and start noticing the coversation
>He yells at me to just go and don’t embarass him anymore
>He never looked or treated me the same way, never knew why

Ohgodwhy.jpg my whole life.


 Anonymous (ID: GoAfD8cz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:52:29 No.428461776

>7th grade
>talking about chocolate milk with old friend on walk home
>girl already has a decent rack
>”yeah my dad tells me not to drink as much milk since it’s making these bigger” and squeezes her tits to show me
>tell her i think it’s fine and awkwardly try to divert conversation to beverages again
>”you know, random classmate kept looking at me because my shirt was too tight”
>whatthefuckisgoingon.jpg, panic
>tell her to wear looser shirts
>she wells up and starts crying, runs away
>mfw i realize she was trying to come onto me
>tfw she wouldn’t get close to me anymore
those were sad, sad years


 Anonymous (ID: Frh5YguM) 10/02/12(Tue)23:53:40 No.428461945

>be 6-7
>hiding behind a pile of rocks
>some older kids show up and sit somewhere near that pile
>still unnoticed
>grabs huge rock and throws it at a kids back
>run like hell
>gets home and pretend I’m not there


 Anonymous (ID: +lqYwu9B) 10/02/12(Tue)23:55:28No.428462229

you should look in a mirror


 Anonymous (ID: V4/m6VAt) 10/02/12(Tue)23:56:05No.428462318

the horror, the horror…


 Anonymous (ID: MPHIsv3f) 10/02/12(Tue)23:57:14 No.428462514

Oh fuck, around that age I did the same “pee-pee tickle” to stop from shitting my britches. That shit really worked.


 Anonymous (ID: 0sN3eYDA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:57:50No.428462587


Same here


 Anonymous (ID: l2X3eRyy) 10/02/12(Tue)23:59:55 No.428462913

Mongoloid, a first grader or kindergartener would be 18 by now.


 Anonymous (ID: swAMY2St) 10/03/12(Wed)00:00:46 No.428463030

File: 1349236846757.jpg-(234 KB, 960×1280, 1029010353.jpg)


>first time gettin in trouble at school
>be in 1st grade
>make up a song about to two retarded kids in my class doing it
>had to go to principals office and confess
>had to apologize to the retarded kids even tho they were tarded


 Anonymous (ID: /Xd82KRC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:02:26 No.428463275

I was in middle school, people were whispering during school about it, but I didnt pay attention
came home, late that night parents finally tell me about the towers
0 fucks given I’m a kid what do you expect


 Anonymous (ID: lvoJeW1G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:03:38 No.428463449

Replies: >>428464270 >>428481150

File: 1349237018359.jpg-(34 KB, 300×316, Timbits.jpg)


>be 4 years old
>Go to Tim Hortons with mom (donut/coffee shop for Amerifats and Eurofags, etc. We have them everywhere in Canada)
>See Timbits behind counter (donut holes, suck my dick)
>Decide to sneak away
>Walk behind counter
>Start eating the fuckers
>One after another
>My mom notices eventually, cashier is paralyzed with laughter
>Mom has to run around the counter to stop me because this girl is fucking frozen against the cash
>I see her, and start eating faster
>Fucking drags me back around to the front
>”I’m really sorry, I’ll pay you but I don’t know how many he ate”
>”That’s okay, it was so funny I’ll just deal with it” or something to that effect
>Free Timbits, motherfucker.

Alpha as fuck.


 Anonymous (ID: EBoZq39x) 10/03/12(Wed)00:04:41No.428463614

> 8th grade
> feel like jacking off 
> start beating off under desk
> cant cum give up 
> thank god i was not caught


 Anonymous (ID: 3WMd9ot4) 10/03/12(Wed)00:06:19 No.428463863


File: 1349237179041.png-(99 KB, 249×349, 1347815837248.png)


>be in 3rd grade
>learn about WWII
>us kids decide to create a army over recess
>design medals, all of them swastika based
>one of my beast friends then was jewish
>goes home


 Anonymous (ID: XtHdSLoU) 10/03/12(Wed)00:06:37 No.428463915

my brother’s story:
>around 6th or 7th grade
>in computer class, typing or whatnot
>substitute teacher that looks like a total faggot
>draw shitty pixel-art of this substitute teacher with a shirt on that says “i love pron”
>set as desktop background at end of class
next week or so…
>principal’s office
>was told that the picture was very offensive and could get in serious trouble
>asked him why it was offensive
>”you wrote ‘pron’ on his shirt, anon.”
>”prawn? whats so offensive about shrimp?”
>got away with it

about 10-12 years later
>meet some guy, tell him the story
>he was an IT guy for the school
>he already knows the story


 Anonymous (ID: lvoJeW1G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:08:40 No.428464243


File: 1349237320178.jpg-(18 KB, 249×201, jew cow.jpg)


>One of my beast friends
>playing Nazi games
>send him home with a Swastika


 Anonymous (ID: B8Ue9twr) 10/03/12(Wed)00:08:51 No.428464270




 Anonymous (ID: lvoJeW1G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:11:08 No.428464613

Replies: >>428465653

Pretty sure Harper walked out on the Iranian government at UN while your pussy country won’t even make a statement until elections are done.

>My balls are huge


 Anonymous (ID: oJdlg2m/) 10/03/12(Wed)00:11:49 No.428464726

Replies: >>428493936

File: 1349237509688.png-(33 KB, 201×200, wtflaught2323223.png)


>Be 6
>At school friday
>Every friday each kid would get to bring a toy
>End of classes
>Everyone started playing and showing their toys to each other
>Playing with best friend with our boats
>A quiet kids right beside us has a shark
>Ask him to play with us
>He doesn’t answer
>Ask for the shark again
>He turns around and keep shaking his shark around
>Get mad
>Ask my friend to hold him
>Take his shark
>Hit him with it
>He starts crying and having some sort of convulsion 
>He had Parkinson’s 
>He starts running shaking all around to bathroom 
>He couldn’t hold
>And as he left class ( Which had glass walls , so everybody saw it) he started shitting
>He was using loose underwear
>The shit started falling and dipping down his legs
>He runned faster while shaking
>Principals hears sounds
>He heads to his door
>The kid passes right in front of it throwing shit all over
>Principal slips on shit and almost falls
>Mfw all this


 Anonymous (ID: whj8IJw8) 10/03/12(Wed)00:12:54No.428464881

>defending police and thives
dry af


 Anonymous (ID: 6vi2gnNo) 10/03/12(Wed)00:13:40 No.428465012


Its only gay if your penises touch.


 Anonymous (ID: mOF1q14S) 10/03/12(Wed)00:14:18 No.428465125

>show up at party already drunk
>no beer. just whiskey.
>no hot girls
>drink… a lot.
>fat girl hits on me.
>play along
>a few minutes in, she makes a sex joke
>call her out on it
>she can’t go. she’s DD.
>I tell her she better hurry up then
>she’s down
>drunkenly figure fucking a girl a few minutes after meeting her sounds like a cool story
>go to my place
>start fucking her half up – whiskey dick plus she’s fat so I’m not attracted
>lose interest.
>she leaves, feeling both unattractive and easy
>turns out she works at my company
>don’t really remember what she looks like
>awkwardly avoid all fat chicks at work


 Anonymous (ID: Qs2+0glF) 10/03/12(Wed)00:15:56No.428465339



 Anonymous (ID: B8Ue9twr) 10/03/12(Wed)00:18:00 No.428465653

Replies: >>428469119>>428485561

>balls are huge

>pussy country
>wages war with half the world
>not hiding under saftey net of powerful neighbor

Sounds like a pussy to me.


 Anonymous (ID: v9ibOADB) 10/03/12(Wed)00:18:15 No.428465716

>>428433110 (OP)

Related. In grade 1 me and a group of friends would always make fun of some older kid who’s mom died pretty recently. We were told off by a lot of people, but we kept doing it anyway.


 Anonymous (ID: mNl9eRDI) 10/03/12(Wed)00:18:25 No.428465749

Replies: >>428485180

>be 10
>playing police and thieves with friend and some black kid
>black kid says he wanted to be a police
>tell him there aren’t black cops
>friend and I forcé him to be the thief
>he agrees
>we chase him across the park while he runs looking back pretending to shot at us
>got run over by a car


 Anonymous (ID: Qs2+0glF) 10/03/12(Wed)00:19:35No.428465954



 Anonymous (ID: v9ibOADB) 10/03/12(Wed)00:20:27 No.428466114





 Anonymous (ID: /Xd82KRC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:20:41No.428466160

only gay if balls touch


 Anonymous (ID: vdZx9WQW) 10/03/12(Wed)00:20:45No.428466169

>Be in 8th grade.
>Friend says he can walk like a nazi, fails horribly
>Show him how it’s done.
>Jewish teacher for English walks in.
>Tells me to never do it again
>Fails me because I fought a kid


 Anonymous (ID: wiK55/bz) 10/03/12(Wed)00:20:49No.428466178

extreme rolf


 Anonymous (ID: 9pQmztO/) 10/03/12(Wed)00:22:17 No.428466418

>be 14
>staying at friends house for sleepover/lan party
>friend’s mom bought new TV stereo
>finish hooking up new stereo
>go back into buddie’s room
>all my friends laughing and chuckling
>I’m like, “what’s so funny?”
>friend says nothing, one of my buddies farted
>sit down at compy 9000
>wiggle mouse
>wallpaper is giant picture of my penis

All I could say to them was, “Yeah, ok, you got me.” I’ve never saved pictures of my junk on my computer for more than 24 hours ever since.


 Anonymous (ID: QHx8ymAS) 10/03/12(Wed)00:22:21No.428466434

>be in 6th grade
>”vandalise” wikipedia page on school, insulting teacher
>did it numerous times
>teacher dies a few months later of bowel cancer



 Anonymous (ID: 0W66kqdN) 10/03/12(Wed)00:22:48No.428466508

File: 1349238168663.jpg-(19 KB, 238×340, image.jpg)


Are you me?


 Anonymous (ID: ulU7WE/h) 10/03/12(Wed)00:23:37 No.428466634

Replies: >>428482346 >>428487349 >>428496647

File: 1349238217295.jpg-(52 KB, 597×392, 34847382901.jpg)


i was the worst kid….

10-11 snuck into our neighbors house and killed their daughters pet mouse she knew it was me and cried a bunch (she was like 17 at the time)

hid the travelers checks under the bed when we went to my dads country trinidad lied about it they had to get the scary black cops to talk to me to show them where it was

in 4th grade i got in trouble for bringing a penthouse magazine to school because my dumbfuck friend was showing everyone (stole that from the college kid neighbors) shit was so cash)

varous sexual encounters with my sister and her (hot) friend from the ages of 11-15

chased the cat around the yard with a golf club 

thats all i can think of right now, i’ll let you know if i can think of any more…i was a real fucking evil kid


 Anonymous (ID: C9WYw3PC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:24:46 No.428466801




 Anonymous (ID: ITaZ6qfs) 10/03/12(Wed)00:28:17 No.428467369

>be in 6th grade
>very happy and jittery in school -couldnt help it i was a kid who liked to learn-
> History teacher singles me out for tapping my feet one day
> Calls me a squirrel on crack and tells me to stop being annoying
> Whole class laughs at me
> Been depressed and hated school ever since


 Anonymous (ID: 3WMd9ot4) 10/03/12(Wed)00:29:34No.428467574

>my keyboard apparently hate jews


 Anonymous (ID: SjtT0xVs) 10/03/12(Wed)00:31:54No.428467982




 Anonymous (ID: eSUkHxd9) 10/03/12(Wed)00:32:04 No.428468008

>Be in first grade
>Thought it would be funny to shit on floor
>Do it once
>Do it twice
>The third time the person who clean our shit up (literal shit at that point) got t all the classes to ask the kids to stop shitting on the floor.
>Next day every bathroom had shit in it.
>It wasn’t me
>Janitor quits


 Anonymous (ID: C9WYw3PC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:33:33 No.428468284


File: 1349238813434.gif-(1.15 MB, 260×146, 1344994232376.gif)


>be 7
>brothers friend comes over
>hes super polite
>not enough chairs for everyone to sit at table
>he stands
>wow so polite
>next day at school
>everyone is working
>stand up and resume working
>”anon please sit”
>no thats okay
>mfw i found out why it was polite to stand


 Anonymous (ID: 7UaMkaBr) 10/03/12(Wed)00:33:39 No.428468296

Replies: >>428476464


In high school we have this janitor named Steve. I don’t know the other ones, but Steve gets really lonely and he would talk to us kids. My friend was friends with him, and whenever Steve would walk by he would stop and try to have a conversation, or follow said friend around.

Idk if Steve was delayed though. In elementary school our janitor was pretty chill though.


 Anonymous (ID: Qs2+0glF) 10/03/12(Wed)00:37:37No.428468919

hahahah nasty lil fucker hahaha


 Anonymous (ID: lvoJeW1G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:38:48 No.428469119



Also, they used to think that Great Britain was pretty badass. Then they turned out to be giant pussies.

And now America can’t step up its shit.



 Anonymous (ID: /Xd82KRC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:39:11 No.428469181

Replies: >>428484404

File: 1349239151533.jpg-(289 KB, 480×637, penis fruit.jpg)


I remember after me and friend played with a dead bird, my mom says it might have had lice
we take a bath naked in the shallow backyard plastic pool
both girls
kids down the street were apparently watching
neighbor family trying to prevent their kids from seeing us and being corrupted into doing stupid shit too
mfw I realize it was a really bad idea, and I forced my friend into it


 Anonymous (ID: cHZNeRl8) 10/03/12(Wed)00:39:34No.428469230

File: 1349239174122.jpg-(21 KB, 400×267, oohkelelelele.jpg)


>Be in sixth grade
>Get first in-class boner
>Fap under desk
>Walking by same room previous hour
>Mfw a student is in there alone and she’s licking it.
>Mfw she was 9/10 easily.


 Anonymous (ID: pkfWp1nA) 10/03/12(Wed)00:40:57 No.428469449

Replies: >>428470997>>428472317

File: 1349239257115.jpg-(17 KB, 344×198, piss.jpg)


Needs more childhood piss stories, especially accidents, bedwettings, etc.


 Anonymous (ID: OMdMYQ09) 10/03/12(Wed)00:41:14No.428469498



 Anonymous (ID: X75itVAq) 10/03/12(Wed)00:41:18No.428469512

File: 1349239278824.gif-(1.5 MB, 283×198, 1347326540470.gif)



Faggot neckbeard confimed. Good call anon.


 Anonymous (ID: FE5NHM2Q) 10/03/12(Wed)00:41:59 No.428469617

I just started college with no programming experience as a cs major and literally 3 people per 40 person class has experience, you’ll be fine.


 Anonymous (ID: qg9schjx) 10/03/12(Wed)00:44:44 No.428470093

One time I greeted my uncle by waving my hands around like a nigger. He told me not to do that.


 Anonymous (ID: zDDnvV5x) 10/03/12(Wed)00:46:13 No.428470352


File: 1349239573287.jpg-(14 KB, 270×307, 1347684982194.jpg)


>Be in elementary school
>skinny nerd fag named Tyler was pissing me off
>I put him in a headlock and DDT’d that bitch
>As his head his the ground he flips 
>Cries like a bitch
>MFW he never told on me


 Anonymous (ID: qg9schjx) 10/03/12(Wed)00:47:18 No.428470534


>be 10 or so
>Discover broomstick
>Take tape and make handle,put “chinese writing” on stick
>Get gloves
>pretend to be samurai and beat the shit out of trees.


 Anonymous (ID: GmSXud4X) 10/03/12(Wed)00:47:36No.428470596

This one made my day


 Anonymous (ID: 67vV/7OZ) 10/03/12(Wed)00:48:31No.428470758

The great thing is you can do that and still pass.


 Anonymous (ID: QDgrGaCT) 10/03/12(Wed)00:49:27 No.428470926

Replies: >>428471208


its called fucking grounders. and police and thieves??? fucking cops and robbers. no wonder you guys are stuck on /b/ you couldn’t even fit in when you were children.


 Anonymous (ID: pkfWp1nA) 10/03/12(Wed)00:49:56No.428470997


Please share some someone.


 Anonymous (ID: b6Zdlsdk) 10/03/12(Wed)00:50:34 No.428471112

Replies: >>428472916 >>428473196

File: 1349239834697.jpg-(33 KB, 674×489, 222154_427011310692194_15(…).jpg)


.>be in third grade
>learn what sex is from this crazy kid who was my only friend and later got kicked out of school for death threats
>become obsessed with sex
>picture having sex with like everyone I see (I have OCD.)
>be in psychiatrist’s office
>blurt out “I had a bad thought about having sex with you!”
>he laughs and says “I’m flattered, but no thanks.”
>feel insulted suddenly and ask why not 
>he goes and gets my mom
>Get talk on the ride home about how I shouldn’t speak to older men like that and I could get an STD or get pregnant
>mfw I’m like fucking seven


 Anonymous (ID: dsNkCgcU) 10/03/12(Wed)00:51:05 No.428471208

Why can’t you accept that kids had different names for these games depending on location/school/whatever?


 Anonymous (ID: +YwqPdUS) 10/03/12(Wed)00:51:14No.428471239

should have ended the story with
>and that’s the bottom line because stone cold said so!


 Anonymous (ID: 5s31BAtw) 10/03/12(Wed)00:53:58No.428471685

>be in economics class
>going over homework
>never do homework
>ask someone next to me to copy their work
>homework was one question, a-e
>”Yo, Anon, I wanna see your d”
>referring to section d of question
>mfw everyone thinks i mean his penis
>mfw no face


 Anonymous (ID: qg9schjx) 10/03/12(Wed)00:54:13 No.428471724

>Be littlish kid. Don’t remember when.
>”ding dong ditch” some old man
>decide throwing some change from cupholder all over guy’s porch would be funny.
>ring doorbell,run etc.
>Old guy drives around looking for us all pissed even though we gave him like 2 bucks.


 Anonymous (ID: Euo0XiWG) 10/03/12(Wed)00:54:50No.428471831

Like real girls


 Anonymous (ID: HwJLUD9B) 10/03/12(Wed)00:55:52 No.428472021

File: 1349240152066.png-(213 KB, 442×341, 1327075823430.png)


>end of year seven
>friend has pool party at a public pool for some reason
>be swimmin’ and chillin’
>see some woman
>say, “either she’s really fat or really pregnant’
>don’t realise I’ve said this out loud
>some guy presumably her boyfriend/husband walks past and says, “she’s pregnant you little fuck. Watch your mouth.”


 Anonymous (ID: D1X19gQ4) 10/03/12(Wed)00:56:00 No.428472041

Replies: >>428472315 >>428473962

File: 1349240160499.jpg-(35 KB, 257×265, 1328677194094.jpg)


>Be in 9th grade
>In class, everyone is doing work
>Really want to jack off
>My seat is right smack-dab in the middle of the room
>Hot chick sitting next to me
>Pretend to move my textbook onto my lap and continue reading
>Actually pressing it against my dick to get it hard
>Start applying and removing pressure to my penis to bring myself closer to orgasm
>Focus really hard on mental imagery and sneak discreet looks at the hot chick now and then
>Successfully bring myself to orgasm
>mfw I masturbated in the middle of class without anyone knowing
>Never did it again


 Anonymous (ID: fslG4qKG) 10/03/12(Wed)00:56:30 No.428472110

I remember in 6th grade, I walked out of class to the bathroom, then proceeded to take a poo. Then, after wiping my ass I rubbed it on the sinks and sink handles and doorknobs out of sheer impulse. Went back to class and the teacher wondered why I was gone for so long, then I got in trouble and they asked if I took the physical turd out of the toilet and used that. I tried so hard not to laugh, I got suspended for that shit…


 Anonymous (ID: k2MipKsU) 10/03/12(Wed)00:56:48 No.428472157


Didn’t happen to me, but was pretty funny.
>be 7th or 8th grade
>some sort of drama class
>group of 4, doing shitty ass plays
>me, best friend, 2 girls
>start acting
>one part requires a horse riding motion
>best friend grabs garbage can
>starts riding, looks like hes fucking the garbage can
>teacher walks in
>best friend drops that garbage can like he just got caught masturbating
>teacher just looks at him and laughs
>me and 2 girls loling at how embarrassed he looks
>teacher probably told other teachers
>before he leaves, tells friend not to fuck anymore garbage cans
>only time drama was good 
>mfw we still bug him about it into the 10th grade


 Anonymous (ID: wI+h46L9) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:05 No.428472201

File: 1349240225847.jpg-(91 KB, 360×333, 1330039197462.jpg)


>Be in 1st grade
>Waiting at bus stop to go to school
>See cute girl
>Bus arrives
>I’m behind her as she’s walking up the steps
>Say to her: “You know, you’ve got a really nice ass”
>She just stares at me
>I’m smiling like an asshole
>She starts smiling too
>Alpha as fuck
>Get on bus
>Look at bus advisory
>She no smiling
>I give her a wink as a gesture of kindness and to tell her I’m only kidding
>didn’t realize how wrong it was to wink in that situation, especially with a dumbass smile on your face
>Get sent to principle’s office
>Principle says “unacceptable behavior, blah, blah, blah”
>Sent home that day with a note to my parents telling them I told a girl she had a nice ass and that I flirted with the Bus Advisory
>Dad reads note
>Looks at me with a blank face
>about to piss myself from fear of discipline
>Dad bursts into laughter, high fives me, and tells me to never do it again


 Anonymous (ID: 8/P01FBe) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:20 No.428472245

File: 1349240240277.png-(161 KB, 283×329, 1348204097518.png)


>be 10
>got a go-kart a couple years before for christmas. put a fake little set of police lights on that fucker. bad-assery was had.
>my brother and I were home alone one day (he’s 17 at this time)
>we find some old building material at the back of our land. 
>several large solid concrete blocks, some t-posts used for fencing, rotten boards. 
>we stack these fucking concrete blocks 5 feet high.
>put the t-posts up as ramps. 
>sit the rotten boards up at the top to smash through. 
>i back my go-kart up about 1/4 a mile. 
>mentally preparing for the awesomeness that will ensue. 
>hit the gas.
>get up to at least 30mph or more.
>fucking fast for this little go kart
>hit the ramps….
>ramps slide out from under my cart at the last second
>hit the concrete blocks
>smash through the boards
>get 7-10 feet of pure air somehow
>land – no shock absorption at all on this bitch.
>”my fucking spine!” i yell.
>couldn’t walk straight for days
>still look back and laugh at how easily i could have been killed. 
>mfw I landed and rolled out of the fucking death trap.


 Anonymous (ID: qg9schjx) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:28 No.428472264

Replies: >>428485447>>428496115

I’ve read this 6 times and I still don’t get this. Can you explain this please?


 Anonymous (ID: EmEx4O0G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:35 No.428472287

>Make troll school shooting threat thred on /b/
>”LOL wud be funneh if i post this on myspace!”
>Screencap op, post to myspace
>English class, reading Beowulf.
>School police knock on door, request me by name
>Teacher “Oh, Anon…”
>Frisk me against chalk board, cuff me and walk me out
>”What site is that again?”
>”Oh, Ebaums, sir. Ebaumsworld”
>Suspended 10 days, had to see school district shrink, those cops were cool as fuck
>The Dean was impressed with my attendance record, seeing how he was personally overseeing the truancy problem, he couldn’t understand how I hadnt gone to 3 classes all year
>Schedule was shooped, removed shitty classes. get outta school free card

Ah, hike school.


 Anonymous (ID: pMOn3ePl) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:49 No.428472315




 Anonymous (ID: pkfWp1nA) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:49No.428472317



 Anonymous (ID: EwJVDsWT) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:50 No.428472321

>be 6
>molested by uncle only a few years older than me
>don’t even do anything to stop it
>never tell anyone about it
>22 years old, still never told a single person
on a side note, he molested both me AND my brother
neither of us did anything to stop it, and as far as i know, my brother never told anyone either


 Anonymous (ID: D1X19gQ4) 10/03/12(Wed)00:58:27No.428472405



 Anonymous (ID: ZFf9HbRO) 10/03/12(Wed)00:58:52No.428472470

She provided entertainment, Tits or GTFO doesn’t apply.



 Anonymous (ID: Qs2+0glF) 10/03/12(Wed)00:59:15No.428472549

be in 10th grade
go to the school bathrooms
had a condom in my pocket
fake blood pack in my back pack
popped out the condom and put fake blood all over it
leave it in the bathroom stall toilet
teacher comes in and sees it
starts throwing up
leaves the bathroom
never got cought


 Anonymous (ID: FXlak6g6) 10/03/12(Wed)00:59:28No.428472584

File: 1349240368013.png-(124 KB, 414×410, FunTimes.png)


>>428433110 (OP)

I only jumped in this thread to show you this, OP.

Pic related.


 Anonymous (ID: 8lIf+81A) 10/03/12(Wed)01:00:08 No.428472684

i still take shits naked, we’re the only creatures on earth that don’t and it feel so much better
except when in public, that’s the exception


 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:00:13 No.428472704

> be in 6th grade
> girl tells teacher she saw blood in the bathroom
> me the socially awkward guy tries to make a joke
> “lolperiodblood”
> no fucking idea what a period is
> teacher asks do I know what it is
> she then continues to ask do I want to know (retorically like a bitch)
> still joking ; say yes
> ohgodwhy.jpeg


 Anonymous (ID: QHTsZ4i1) 10/03/12(Wed)01:01:33 No.428472916


tits or gtfo


 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:03:25 No.428473196

Replies: >>428473573>>428497265


tits or gtfo whore.


 Anonymous (ID: 9O6kmEQx) 10/03/12(Wed)01:05:06 No.428473486

File: 1349240706511.jpg-(35 KB, 370×507, 1348958180968.jpg)


>10th grade
>Archery in P.E
>Suck at sports
>super average kid
>Tryhard fag ive known since kindergarten ragging on me in line
>says wont hit shit
>get ready to aim
>hold it for around 15 seconds, everyone else held for around 5 or 6.
>faggot hits close to the outer rim
>smack his bullseye.
>say nothing
>not a word from that fag all season


 Anonymous (ID: FcbEIQK2) 10/03/12(Wed)01:05:11 No.428473502

>Be in year 1 or 2.
>Learning about dinosaurs
>Teacher asked if anyone knew this dinosaurs name
*pointed to pic of two dinosaurs butting their heads together.*
>Yell out Butt Heads!
>Everyone laughs.
>Teachers send me to principles office.
>Suspended for a week

Fucking cunty teacher.


 Anonymous (ID: b6Zdlsdk) 10/03/12(Wed)01:05:42 No.428473573



moobs or gtfo

I know you have them. Please?


 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:05:56 No.428473616



underage b& fag


 Anonymous (ID: C3ma8HE9) 10/03/12(Wed)01:07:01No.428473776

File: 1349240821680.jpg-(28 KB, 555×445, 1326520759615.jpg)


>Be 15
>Be with friend in Target
>We get a football
>Play around with the football (you know kids)
>I throw the ball twords him
>He misses the catch (what a faggot)
>Ball bounces off the ground
>Hits and opens the emergency door
>Alarm going off worse than a bank
>I walk slowly into a different isle
>Friend runs out of the store
>See an unlimited amount of Security running around
>Security chases him
>I walk out casually
>Laugh because he got caught


 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:07:29 No.428473860

Replies: >>428474262>>428474279


you’ve broken the whore barrier, attention whoring & just whoring.


 Anonymous (ID: iCH3UW6f) 10/03/12(Wed)01:07:53 No.428473905

Replies: >>428474880

>be about 14
>Was at scout camp
>playing game, can’t remember what, but it was a lot of running around
>kid I know was being a dick, tripping people, shoving them over, then acting like it was an accident
>he tries it on me once, fails
>tries to wrap his shin around my leg to trip me again, almost fall, told him to fuck off
>he gets super defensive and screams at me, which gets people’s attention
>he kicks me in the junk. 
>hurts like hell
>grab him by the neck and slam him into the ground
>punch him hard in the throat(was aiming for face, but rage missed)
>he got taken to the hospital with some pretty serious injuries
>heard he couldn’t walk right for like 2 months
>didn’t get in trouble because everyone saw him start it
>he never came back


 Anonymous (ID: P34lT1kC) 10/03/12(Wed)01:08:14 No.428473962

Replies: >>428475243

They knew, dude. What were they supposed to say? You crossed so many fucking lines.


 Anonymous (ID: MfwDHQkz) 10/03/12(Wed)01:09:49 No.428474208


>>428433110 (OP)
>7th grade
>mom just died of cancer
>dick knowingly makes fun of my dead mom
>call him asshole
>he denies it like a zionist jew
>felt bad rest of the year
fuck him


 Anonymous (ID: b6Zdlsdk) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:13 No.428474262


What is a whore barrier? Is it like a hundred naked sluts all tangled together with their legs and shit all over each other forming a giant Great Wall of Sodom in order to protect the giant vibrator which they worship as a phallic symbol? I don’t care what it is, that’s what I’m picturing.


 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:15No.428474269


fuck that guy.


 Anonymous (ID: wI+h46L9) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:19 No.428474279

Replies: >>428475130 >>428484603

Show me where she was being an attention whore, because you obviously don’t know what the fuck attention whoring is, and you have no fucking clue how to use tits or gtfo or who it is to be directed at.
>Summer still has it’s surprises in Autumn


 Anonymous (ID: 2YMem3jX) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:26No.428474296

File: 1349241026424.png-(289 KB, 500×500, 1348960847799.png)


>be like five or seven
>be playing with younger brother on stairs
>he lays across my feet
>shove him off so i can get up
>he falls down stairs and hits closet
>run into grandma’s room
>hide behind curtain for two hours
>never got caught, parents thought his dumb ass fell


 Anonymous (ID: j+rTp9hf) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:50No.428474361

Kill yourself


 Anonymous (ID: pHHIYJ/g) 10/03/12(Wed)01:11:09No.428474419

Kudos for proper grammar…


 Anonymous (ID: r5qAT53t) 10/03/12(Wed)01:11:23No.428474457

bear grils is that you?


 Anonymous (ID: BeOYeyQ/) 10/03/12(Wed)01:11:26 No.428474469

File: 1349241086437.jpg-(36 KB, 457×462, areyouseriousbitch.jpg)


>7 years old, playing at a friends house in his backyard
>gotta poo but not that bad
>keep playing
>really into playing
>suddenly, prairie dogging
>play just a little.. bit… more..
>full sprint for bathroom
>as i am pulling up the toilet lid i lose it
>shit my pants while im staring into the toilet
>cuffs on my pants tight enough to hold mess
>flush toilet and run sink to fool friends mom
>tell her my stomach hurts and i wanna go home
>mom comes to pick me up
>i sit down in the passenger seat with shit filled pants
>before i can tell her what happened, kids knock on my window
>selling chocolate bars for fundraiser
>mom continues talking to them about chocolate bars
>chocolate this, chocolate that
>finally, she makes up her mind and they leave
>asks me whats wrong
>gets pissed at me that i sat in her car without saying anything


 Anonymous (ID: wAYdCw0I) 10/03/12(Wed)01:13:16 No.428474773


File: 1349241196190.jpg-(81 KB, 700×460, gayest post of the day.jpg)


>act your age



 Anonymous (ID: d8ctczu1) 10/03/12(Wed)01:13:43 No.428474839

>be grade 2
>need to take shit like no tomorrow
>brown kid has been out at bathroom for over 20 minutes
>”no anon you can wait til anon is back”
>brown kid finally comes back
>book it down hallway
>wild principal appears!
>”slow down anon…” and goes on to give me lecture about running in hallways
>finally make it to bathroom
>open toilet stall door 
>shit pants
>stuff poop filled undies in pocket
>go back to class
>”whats that smell anon?”
>”my cat pooped on my only good pants today”
>cry to father once out of school


 Anonymous (ID: +6yuI20P) 10/03/12(Wed)01:14:00No.428474880

Somebody give this bastard a medal.


 Anonymous (ID: swZM6xl9) 10/03/12(Wed)01:14:59 No.428475036

Replies: >>428475612 >>428475692

File: 1349241299250.gif-(429 KB, 464×260, 129969639840.gif)


>Be me
>be 5 years old
>See the Plaine hit
>Everybody looks at it, not understanding it but notices the teachers face and don’t comment
>I am a fucking dumbass
>As the plaine hits I yell “Ooh! Wow! It is like an action movie!” 
>Teacher looks at me with intense rage
> I notice the teachers anger
>”I need to get this on DVD!”
>My teacher sends me to the principles office.


 Anonymous (ID: doqcwLZB) 10/03/12(Wed)01:15:18No.428475087

chris is a faggot


 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:15:31 No.428475130

Replies: >>428475709>>428476159


> you have no fucking clue how to use tits or gtfo or who it is to be directed at 

you ignorant fuck tits or gtfo is directed at any fucking ‘femanon’ you dickshit


 Anonymous (ID: D1X19gQ4) 10/03/12(Wed)01:16:21 No.428475243

If they did, they were good at hiding it for four years. And you know high school kids. At least one person would be talking behind my back about it, and the friends I had wouldn’t have been my friends had they knew.


 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:16:39No.428475291

File: 1349241399466.jpg-(31 KB, 520×320, nice man.jpg)



Thank you, Anon.


 Anonymous (ID: 6YAxfQeQ) 10/03/12(Wed)01:16:57No.428475338

File: 1349241417368.jpg-(48 KB, 594×450, 1295900304426.jpg)



cool story bro


 Anonymous (ID: MfwDHQkz) 10/03/12(Wed)01:17:40No.428475443

l0l do u H4cK???


 Anonymous (ID: 0yqjJF79) 10/03/12(Wed)01:18:16 No.428475532

File: 1349241496108.gif-(474 KB, 266×150, ZSn0p.gif)


>be 16
>doing a interview for a phy with some 15 year old girl
>she was a 6/10 but Idc
>she started talking about skinnydipping and shit
>instant semi
>interview was outside where nobody was watching us
>starting talking about her opinion on sex (fucking smooth as shit, I was)
>told me she was raped by a friend of her brother while camping
>my raging boner fucking die like that

>fucking school is named wang


 Anonymous (ID: r+NYYVVE) 10/03/12(Wed)01:18:17No.428475537


Lmao.. Made my night man..


 Anonymous (ID: iCH3UW6f) 10/03/12(Wed)01:18:42 No.428475612

Replies: >>428476013

Back when 9/11 happened too

>people were flipping shit at school, had no idea what was going on
>people are crying, on phone in class, teachers aren’t around, completely fucking confused
>be loner kid, don’t talk to people, whatever, sit back and play vidiya
>teacher comes in
>”If you want to go home and be with your families you can.”
>Instantly hop out of chair
>”hell yeah, this is the best day over.”
>Everyone glares at me, someone throws something
>just laugh and walk out
>Found out what happened when I got home
>laughed again and played more vidya


 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:19:08No.428475692



 Anonymous (ID: gNa4F43z) 10/03/12(Wed)01:19:10No.428475701

>be in first grade
>piss teacher off
>she’s easily pissed and fat
>slams door, nobody can leave
>have to shit
>hold it, fat bitch is scary
>shit my pants
>leave shitty underwear on sing in bathroom
>mfw everyone knew it was me


 Anonymous (ID: XAcLOT7d) 10/03/12(Wed)01:19:12 No.428475709

Replies: >>428476078 >>428476816 >>428476986 >>428488318 >>428506763

No, it’s not faggot. It’s only for the attention whores. It’s faggots like you that make femanons hesitate to tell their stories in fear of the endless TITS OR GTFO.

Kill Yourself.


 Anonymous (ID: 1ZYHfNaL) 10/03/12(Wed)01:20:22No.428475881

oh shit never laughed so hard you must be a nigger


 Anonymous (ID: SIHTnTv/) 10/03/12(Wed)01:20:39No.428475935

File: 1349241639200.jpg-(30 KB, 452×339, 1345825552464.jpg)




 Anonymous (ID: iCH3UW6f) 10/03/12(Wed)01:21:09 No.428476013


>forgot, live in Canada, dunno why people were flipping their shit


 Anonymous (ID: NK7IaIly) 10/03/12(Wed)01:21:31 No.428476078


you’re wrong. It’s for any fenanon that posts on here. Now tits or gtfo whore


 Anonymous (ID: mPp9D6tK) 10/03/12(Wed)01:22:03 No.428476153

>>428433110 (OP)

Spending all my hard earned dope money on cocaine and I never ever even liked coke.

Still gets me a bit when I think of all hundreds of thousands a have wasted on that shit and got little to none out of it.


 Anonymous (ID: wI+h46L9) 10/03/12(Wed)01:22:05 No.428476159

File: 1349241725233.jpg-(13 KB, 236×240, 1336694581158.jpg)


>you ignorant fuck tits or gtfo is directed at any fucking ‘femanon’ you dickshit
>directed at any fucking ‘femanon’ you dickshit
>directed at any fucking ‘femanon’
>any femanon


 Anonymous (ID: MfwDHQkz) 10/03/12(Wed)01:22:07 No.428476162

File: 1349241727581.gif-(92 KB, 160×160,MFW+when+I+see+the+WBC+pi(…).gif)


you’re a fucking idiot and are using it wrong, faggot


 Anonymous (ID: QO116fqh) 10/03/12(Wed)01:23:02No.428476303

you are go to sleep james.


 Anonymous (ID: 0HTan5Uf) 10/03/12(Wed)01:23:17 No.428476332

>be grade 1
>grandma was principal of shitty school in small town
>first day
>go to bathroom and see note saying the stall wasnt working
>see 2 5th graders and grab the note and throw it into the stall and piss on it trying to impress them
>mfw they told on me
>mfw i have no face


>5th grade
>be a poor kid
>at lunch kids would always buy chocolate milk
>see that chocolate milk is in unlocked fridge in the gym
>me and my 2 other poor friends steal a few chocolate milks
>huge rush and end up stealing more
>ended up stealing whole fridge of milk
>mfw next day teachers put an announcment up for missing milk


 Anonymous (ID: z6teoYZs) 10/03/12(Wed)01:23:23 No.428476349

File: 1349241803102.jpg-(550 KB, 850×559, 1343974543638.jpg)


Nice to overcome all that shit and get a front row seat. A long term motivator was the message of denial. I would not be denied.


 Anonymous (ID: 4l4QscAS) 10/03/12(Wed)01:23:38 No.428476395

Replies: >>428490325

File: 1349241818452.jpg-(14 KB, 500×314, swordofbaddass.jpg)


>be 3rd grade
>have tons of friends in neighborhood
>you weren’t cool if you didn’t have one of these lightsabers
>10+ of us go to park in our neighborhood
>run all the filthy 2nd and 1st grade peasants of the big play set with our bad ass sabers.
>park was so close most little kids went unsupervised so there were no parents to yell at us
>have huge free-for-all with a swords crafted by the gods
>sore losers sucker punch their victors
>everyone starts hitting each other harder
>soon, everyone is trying to kill each other
>i pick up on this and sit on a bench and watch the carnage
>mfw I see 10+ 3rd graders beating the shit out of each other with toy lightsabers
>mfw im a lightsaber


 Anonymous (ID: 5pOa/Rdj) 10/03/12(Wed)01:24:12No.428476464

Wait what high school did you go to?


 Anonymous (ID: JLVmeScZ) 10/03/12(Wed)01:24:31No.428476521

>be in kindergarten
>thirsty, hmm waterfountain
>but wait? theres girl at fountain
>punch her in face
>victoriously drink my water
>mom kicks my ass


 Anonymous (ID: /XXnWP36) 10/03/12(Wed)01:24:38No.428476535

>she bursts into treats
>bursts into treats
>into treats

Your friend was a bespectacled piñata?


 Anonymous (ID: VSa8Sc3Q) 10/03/12(Wed)01:24:39 No.428476541

Replies: >>428502298

>be 11
> gay buttsex with 2 friends at sleepover

>i honestly cant tell if it was a dream or real lfie because i think ive repressed it so much that i myself, think it never happened


 Anonymous (ID: iLassCgm) 10/03/12(Wed)01:25:38 No.428476682

All my janitors are old men with that mustache all janitors seem to have
Or a beard, one of the two


 Anonymous (ID: plWCRly/) 10/03/12(Wed)01:25:52No.428476710



 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:26:43 No.428476816

i was always taught that it was for anybody who implied that they have a cunt, or are not a male.

tits or gtfo is applicable to any circumstance or situation when any cumdumpster makes any kind of reference to her gender.


 Anonymous (ID: ae4BNrj4) 10/03/12(Wed)01:27:51 No.428476986

Replies: >>428477403

The moment they announce the fact that they are female, it MAKES them attention whores because there is no reason to announce that fact. Jesus fuck get a clue.


 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:32:20 No.428477403

File: 1349242340555.jpg-(199 KB, 680×794, Rules_83c958_1240031.jpg)


yeah, i think rule 31 is pretty clear…theres no clause about attention whoring. if you read the rule, it clearly applies to any female posting anything, even if she doesn’t say she’s a female.

all cumdumpsters should know the rules and just shut up and do it. no whining “oh but i wasn’t trying to be an attention whore” it doesn’t matter, you should take pride in sharing your tits and being a contributing member of /b/


 Anonymous (ID: AKi60aj1) 10/03/12(Wed)01:32:22 No.428477407

File: 1349242342585.jpg-(114 KB, 735×720, hitlerisamused.jpg)



lol On St. Patrick’s Day in 7th grade I drew and cut out a green swastika and taped it to my shirt. I figured “well the swastika means good luck soo”
English teacher was not exactly impressed..didn’t help most of the school thought I was a Nazi because I loved reading books about WWII and in particular Nazis


 Anonymous (ID: KX7ZcZwr) 10/03/12(Wed)01:33:20 No.428477624

File: 1349242400189.png-(25 KB, 672×1042, pokerface.png)


>10th grade
>In 11th grade class
>feel awkward because I don’t know anyone
>Starting quarterback in front of me
>nobody else but me and him on this side of the room
>learning about some god damned American Government
>halfway through class my colon needs to release vespene gas
>loud as fuck 
>everyone stares at quarterback who was sleeping
>he peaks his head up and looks at me
>everyone laughs
>put head down and go to sleep
>class goes on


 Anonymous (ID: kgQJ7axB) 10/03/12(Wed)01:33:37No.428477674

File: 1349242417092.jpg-(33 KB, 360×240, 1348180267639.jpg)




 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:35:47No.428478023

So you’re like 15-16?
Come back next summer.


 Anonymous (ID: EaglUQxu) 10/03/12(Wed)01:36:04No.428478057

nah …..nigga you gay


 Anonymous (ID: yy9NtIEV) 10/03/12(Wed)01:37:11 No.428478235

Replies: >>428479547

>first job out of college
>boss was this hot asian chic
>had to stay overtime with boss in the office
>boss decided to dress more comfortably
>office layout is ‘L’ shaped with floor to ceiling glass windows with boss’ office on one side and mine next to it
>boss changes clothes and forgot (maybe intentionally) to close the blind thinking the window tinting and afternoon sunset would conceal her from my view
>get huge bonner and fap away while i watch her undress
>came buckets and office smells like jizz because the building air conditioning shuts off after regular office hours
>boss comes out of her office and checks on my work
>she smells the jizz and asks what it was
>tell her the janitor used a new kind of antibacterial spray on trash bin


 Anonymous (ID: IFI9+fOw) 10/03/12(Wed)01:39:17No.428478546

DUDE!!! This is amazing. Fuck, how you been?


 Anonymous (ID: bXKnnX/O) 10/03/12(Wed)01:40:05No.428478672

File: 1349242805281.gif-(164 KB, 425×417, 1344968032930.gif)


>be in 4th grade
>playing tag at a friends house
>decide to throw a rock at a tree
>big ass chunk of concrete
>friend walks in front as soon as i release
>hit friend in the head
>freak the fuck out
>he goes inside
>parents said he threw up
>they go to hospital
>i go home
>dont tell parents
>they find out
>flip shit and go to hospital
>my friend had a severed vital artery to his brain
>almost died
>minor brain damage
>still feel fucking horrible about it


 Anonymous (ID: SjtT0xVs) 10/03/12(Wed)01:40:27 No.428478729

>Be 7 -maybe even younger. 
>Family trip to some shit town 
>Cool cousin comes to the trip with me and my brother 
>Cousin is 14 and so is my brother, they both want to get rid of me but the need to babysit me.
>They say they want to take a walk 
>Parents tell them they have to take me with them 
>We walked for a while and get to this abandoned house 
>House has a big pool and some games for little kids 
>Cousin and brother gets their skateboards and use it on the pool 
>I’m happy as fuck on the slides and little houses they have 
>We do this every time we have a family trip (Maybe every fourth or five months)
>One day we’re on the house playing around
>We hear a car
>Cousin and brother starts to run away and yelled me to do it too.
>I ran and ran
>Got to house faster
>Cousin got caught
>House isn’t abandoned, its actually for family trips just like ours.
>Owners call the cops
>Cousin comes back home in police car crying
>We even appeared in the local tv news 
>Cousin’s family and mine fight
>No more family trips again
>Cousin hates me
>Cousin hasn’t talked to me or my brother in 14 years

I somehow miss her


 Anonymous (ID: e2fYQvzt) 10/03/12(Wed)01:40:40 No.428478761

>be in 6th grade (11ish)
>go on school camping trip
>get to ride quad bikes around dirt racing track
>quad bikes really slow
>friend shows me how to rig them to make em go much faster
>i help every1 else rig theirs
>some girl crashes her rigged bike
>shes laying on ground leg cut open crying
>get yelled at by teacher


>be at same camping trip
>buddies and i bored one night in cabins
>see light suddenly outside window over tree tops
>we all think is ufo
>go outside to investigate
>realize it was just a truck with its high beams on nearby
>decide to steal girls knickers hanging outside their cabin rooms
>our faces when teacher is doing night watch and catches us
>we get banned from activities for a few days


 Anonymous (ID: dzm+L93p) 10/03/12(Wed)01:41:41 No.428478906

Replies: >>428479312>>428502997

File: 1349242901254.gif-(17 KB, 400×399, 1270044099396.gif)


Be in 8th Grade

>Canadafag so I’ve got french class
>Assignment to come up with things sharks eat in French
>Annoying ass girl keeps asking me to give her words
>Finally had enough so I open the dictionary and kind something stupid
>Tell her it’s french word for tuna
>At the end of class she hands in her paper
>Teacher starts listing the things she wrote down, comes to mine
>Yells out in angry confusion “Jews?!”
>MFW when I told that annoying bitch that sharks eat Jews in French

Not a single fuck was given.


 Anonymous (ID: XZD3amS4) 10/03/12(Wed)01:44:19No.428479297

>Be 14
>Always more aduilt than my friends
>Know shit
>They was talking about vaginas
>Come and explain shit to them
>Hated them ever since

Yet it turns they are virgins even those days
I’ve scored 2 years later and get better education


 Anonymous (ID: AKi60aj1) 10/03/12(Wed)01:44:27No.428479312

File: 1349243067039.jpg-(17 KB, 251×251, blitzkreig!.jpg)




 Anonymous (ID: 7UaMkaBr) 10/03/12(Wed)01:44:40No.428479345


I wish if I insulted someone they bursted into treats.


 Anonymous (ID: r9k63OXC) 10/03/12(Wed)01:45:14 No.428479436

>be 7th grade
>out in recess chilling like a boss
>about to go in when big titty bitch confronts me over something that didn’t involve me
>pushes me
>try to grab her arm. Grab shirt instead
>ripped her fucking shirt in half
>big tits hanging everywhere
>starts crying
>Japanese bitch in our class sees and tells the principle
>get sent to principals office to apologize to her
>laughed when I got out of office
Good times


 Anonymous (ID: yy9NtIEV) 10/03/12(Wed)01:45:59 No.428479547

Replies: >>428480297

>almost got caught another time after she changes to more casual wear and leaves the office
>i start jerking and all of a sudden boss is back because she forgot something in her office
>had a hard time hiding my boner and couldnt handle the door with my right hand as it was lubed with my boss’ lotion that she keeps on the top drawer of her office desk
>she probably smelled the lotion but didnt say a thing
>after she left i finished fapping and went home
>i miss working for her because she loved to put her feet on top of the table while she works
>sometimes even when she is wearing a skirt
>i come by her desk and she doesnt even put her leg down knowing full well that i can see her panties
>never did try to have sex since i was afraid of loosing my job if i miscalculate her intentions

yeah im so beta. sad.jpg


 Anonymous (ID: YXAfZ0z5) 10/03/12(Wed)01:46:12 No.428479578

Holy shit, someone is using the birthday guy that I drew balls on, I’m so happy. Did you get it from the sticky, or the original thread?


 Anonymous (ID: ppyRcADg) 10/03/12(Wed)01:47:01No.428479720

File: 1349243221855.jpg-(23 KB, 200×200, 1343735631127.jpg)




 Anonymous (ID: ppyRcADg) 10/03/12(Wed)01:49:30 No.428480081

Replies: >>428480875 >>428481051

File: 1349243370290.jpg-(8 KB, 239×286, squatting02.jpg)


i never ever sit on toilets to shit. i put both my feet on the seat and squat, I have always done this and always will. pic related


 Anonymous (ID: BeOYeyQ/) 10/03/12(Wed)01:50:55 No.428480297


>ITT, stupid shit you did when you were younger.
>shit you did when you were younger.
>when you were younger.

>first job out of college


>yeah im so beta. sad.jpg

damn i feel bad for you man


 Anonymous (ID: XDau3eWW) 10/03/12(Wed)01:51:32No.428480394

I like this one.


 Anonymous (ID: K8sNi9xh) 10/03/12(Wed)01:53:10No.428480606


horrible decision


 Anonymous (ID: Hv7tAeDT) 10/03/12(Wed)01:54:44No.428480825

File: 1349243684779.jpg-(28 KB, 331×319, 1272338450886.jpg)




 Anonymous (ID: YOQy4qAf) 10/03/12(Wed)01:55:04 No.428480875


move to india, faggot.


 Anonymous (ID: 2Je714co) 10/03/12(Wed)01:55:30 No.428480949

File: 1349243730693.jpg-(24 KB, 381×391, shocked.jpg)


>be 8
>live in redneck household
>guns, guns everywhere
>shit-faced parents never locked them up
>sister and I out into garage to find something to do
>see arsenal of firearms displayed on shelves
>sister grabs a .308 rifle
>take sideXside from shelf
>both play in front yard (which was miles of desert)
>gametype select: hide and seek
>sister’s ‘it’
>go hide and wait
>sister passes right by me
>target acquired
“You’re dead”
>head back to porch to play again
>huge ass lizard on rock nearby
“Let’s kill it”
>sister raises gun and makes obligatory shooting sounds
>target acquired
>pull trigger
>Lizard fucking disappears
>father stubles outside promtly and snatches guns away
>get a well deserved ass whooping later

First chamber wasn’t loaded, but I’d cycled it over to the other which had a round of buckshot after I’d tagged my sister.


 Anonymous (ID: hJ46pK/0) 10/03/12(Wed)01:56:14 No.428481051


Im going to try this when i get home


 Anonymous (ID: m2NVrGAn) 10/03/12(Wed)01:56:52 No.428481150

Replies: >>428488245

File: 1349243812175.jpg-(11 KB, 264×197, yep..jpg)


My god kill yourself with these tidbits. (suck my dick) also doesn’t have to make sense I’m not a fag from Canada.


 Anonymous (ID: NIwBnNjt) 10/03/12(Wed)01:57:34No.428481240

>be 5ish
>4th of July
>standing on back of couch
>dive off back of couch
>land on the top of my head on the coffee table
>ow my fucking head
>start crying
>mom asks what’s wrong
>i tell her
>calls me a dumb ass
had a headache like a mother fucker in the morning


 Anonymous (ID: yy9NtIEV) 10/03/12(Wed)02:00:03 No.428481613


>younger… not young.



 Anonymous (ID: vp/1d8Ff) 10/03/12(Wed)02:02:30No.428481961

das cool


 Anonymous (ID: Hv7tAeDT) 10/03/12(Wed)02:05:18No.428482346

Do you regret it?


 Anonymous (ID: BeOYeyQ/) 10/03/12(Wed)02:06:37No.428482510


so how old are you now then? 

you still fap at work as a grown ass man?


 Anonymous (ID: vp/1d8Ff) 10/03/12(Wed)02:10:52No.428483038

you little fuck


 Anonymous (ID: 424Rrmmz) 10/03/12(Wed)02:13:07No.428483312

>>428433110 (OP)

Lol. That must is why? I yes. Haha


 Anonymous (ID: EwOSdNxe) 10/03/12(Wed)02:16:03No.428483686

File: 1349244963867.jpg-(132 KB, 400×399, gro.jpg)



>would sneeze upward and let it hit me cause it felt cooling.


 Anonymous (ID: R4Ujm0Gs) 10/03/12(Wed)02:16:18No.428483720

>be in 10th grade
>talking shit about some faggot
>friends and I laugh
>didn’t know his sister was in my class
>8/10 would bang
>was working my way in with her
>seals my fate

I still regret that shit.


 Anonymous (ID: wEwCWVJM) 10/03/12(Wed)02:19:54 No.428484178

>be 9 years old
>blackmailed my brother to let me play the playstation all day or else i’d take a picture of his ass and show it to everyone
jesus christ i was such a fucking faggot, i’d punch my self if i could go back in time


 Anonymous (ID: 41buVpmx) 10/03/12(Wed)02:21:31 No.428484403

File: 1349245291246.png-(159 KB, 448×336, Laugh Mitchell 2.png)


>Be 7th grade
>friends mix milk and juice in the juice cups with bread or lettuce or whatever
>call it buttjuice
>keep it in an empty locker on first floor
>accumulate more
>buttjuice locker starts to smell
>make map and plan to take it outside to the playground and bury it
>locker smelled a year later


>be 7th grade, in K-12 school with recess
>field/playground close to interstate
>across the street was a wall, over that was busy highway
>throw grapes, tomatoes, bananas, apples, trying to hit cars
>one day friend throws bowl of chili
>never hit anything

>Be 7th grade
>try to steal girls sneakers because how else do you flirt?
>crawl under like…a felted bleacher-type furniture piece in a laid-back classroom to take shoes
>dirty under here
>find 500 Pesos
>Didn’t need to take shoes


 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:21:31 No.428484404


Tits or gtfo bitch


 Anonymous (ID: EpRr5VTF) 10/03/12(Wed)02:22:05No.428484458



 Anonymous (ID: tMqhw4e8) 10/03/12(Wed)02:23:05No.428484603

White knight faggot alert


 Anonymous (ID: e5TfBJjB) 10/03/12(Wed)02:23:07 No.428484608


File: 1349245387644.jpg-(51 KB, 297×411, hamboigahs.jpg)


>Be 13
>Be weird goth kid
>in gym class playing basketball
>hot girl walks up to me and asks me if I want to play with her
>though she was kidding and pelted her in the face with the basketball
>broke her nose
>blood everywhere
>Dad had to pay bills
>Got ass beat, and girl is still a bitch to me 10 years later.


 Anonymous (ID: EjlYUxbZ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:26:11No.428485003





 Anonymous (ID: EwOSdNxe) 10/03/12(Wed)02:26:59No.428485105

File: 1349245619610.jpg-(71 KB, 713×534, redd.jpg)




 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:27:35 No.428485180

haha awesome! wish i was there to capture the moment…


 Anonymous (ID: 3JbQFDVR) 10/03/12(Wed)02:29:33 No.428485437

i remember a few random ones of other kids so im sure they have some of me


 Anonymous (ID: mSDKmabP) 10/03/12(Wed)02:29:36No.428485447


Seconded, I don’t understand it either.


 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:30:26 No.428485561

Replies: >>428485871

>>wages war with half the world
haha wut wut?? WUT?
by half the world you mean a couple of shitty arab countries where people live in huts made of dirt still? USA is by far the most pussy country ever. Never have you once fought a REAL war, by REAL war i dont mean invading third world countries.


 Anonymous (ID: hVxTqe21) 10/03/12(Wed)02:32:13 No.428485802

File: 1349245933334.jpg-(30 KB, 394×507, tom.jpg)


>be in 7th grade
>douche kid in 8th grade is on a computer in a the commons area
>see him laughing and typing furiously on the comp
>next day principal corners me and questions me about what kid was doing on the computer
>freeze in terror in fear of not being cool, just tell him idk what he was doing 
>turns out he hacked the computers and deleted a bunch of shit and fucked up the entire whole schools servers (have no idea what he actually did, dont remember)
>supposedly caused $20,000 in damages

Fast Forward
>10th grade
>he asks me to join his band
>mfw he becomes my best friend
>record 2 albums
>do gigs n stuff
>best years ever


 Anonymous (ID: xk6hFa5c) 10/03/12(Wed)02:32:43 No.428485871

Replies: >>428486696

Revolutionary war, War of 1812 French and Indian war, Spanish-American war, WW1, WW2, Korean war, and there were some other inconsequential wars in between that I’m leaving out.


 Anonymous (ID: EpRr5VTF) 10/03/12(Wed)02:35:05No.428486175

>burst into treats
you’d cry too if you were suddenly a milky way.


 Anonymous (ID: ppyRcADg) 10/03/12(Wed)02:37:54 No.428486543

Humans have squatted for most of human history—several hundred thousand years—we’ve squatted. Toilets have not been around for a very long time. The Vikings and shit all squatted and crapped in the woods you wouldn’t tell them to ‘go back to india’

Science. Lrn2du it.


 Anonymous (ID: EpRr5VTF) 10/03/12(Wed)02:38:45 No.428486643

underage b&. your girlfriend’s mom is driving you places gtfo


 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:39:06 No.428486696

Replies: >>428487204

>Revolutionary war
Revolutions happened many times in Europe even long before America was even discovered, only you us-fags call it “war”
You didnt do shit.
You didnt do shit.
Please stop taking credit for the work of Russia, damn.

Please all amerifags kill yourself, you have been brainwashed from the day you are born, the world is nothing like you have been told it is, or have ever been. You like in a zombie-state only to never question your government and think USA is the greatest country in the world. just kill urselfs please.


 Anonymous (ID: SNOl+rM/) 10/03/12(Wed)02:40:41No.428486886

>Be in 9th grade
>Kid says mildly insulting
>Being a creative fuck, I say “yeah well your mom”
>His mom is dead and his dad is an alcoholic


 Anonymous (ID: +0P+oQG5) 10/03/12(Wed)02:41:15No.428486968

>be taking some bs test in 2nd grade
>a million gallons of pee want to burst out of my wiener
>ask teacher if i can use the toilet
>she says no because she is a huge cunt
>open the flood gates
>what did that bitch expect


 Anonymous (ID: xk6hFa5c) 10/03/12(Wed)02:43:10 No.428487204

Replies: >>428487613 >>428491174

We call the Revolutionary war a war because we declared independence before heavy fighting started, every British action after that point was just them attempting to invade us. WW1, you’re right we didn’t do much.
WW2, you’re right if we are talking about the European front, but I regret to inform you of the existence of the other half of the world, where we were the only ones fighting, as