WHY YOU SO GAY TONY


i just asked batchelder to give me a quote to name my blog post for the day and the best she could come up with is “why you so gay tony”.  whatever.  it works for me.  so i haven’t been blogging lately even though i have been up to so much no good it’s insane but i haven’t even been close to a computer except to do work for my boss tom.  so much shit has been going down i feel lucky to be alive and in one piece.  drugs complete scandalous sexual liaisons with so many girls all of them crazy hustler chicks who work over dudes on a regular basis but have met their match with me who works over chicks on a regular basis so we all sort of even each other out.  i can’t even give you all the names of the chicks because some of them are wanted by the law.  this one girl who i have really been seeing quite a lot of is super hot as fuck and really smart but really gangsta as hell and way into really bad drugs.  Met her at a casino in the inland empire.  She is the only one that I have been with more then twice. i also have met two chicks from hemet at the same casino and had sex with one and just cuddled with the other one.  Again not naming names cuz these chicks are sorta like skinhead chicks and they run with a bunch of crazy white power dudes.  I’ve met like three of the dudes and they seem cool and all but there is always that element of danger around them and actually around the girls as well.  I met a half Mexican half white gang banger chick at the same casino and we had a pretty insane adventure that involved me skateboarding at like 4:30 in the morning to the casino gas station to put five bucks gas in this chicks car so her and her three homies could make it home to Beaumont or banning or Yucaipa I’m not sure which one but definitely one of those three.  Anyways I have no record for any kind of drug related offenses and I’m not on parole or probation so I still presumably have my 4th amendment rights which on this night came in pretty handy.  I was bombing this rad little hill that leads directly into the gas station showing off for this sexy little mama whose name I will say which is heather.  Truly the only reason I was doing this was because for some unknown reason the gas station although physically open was literally closed for ten minutes according to the clerk.  So while we waited I skated.  Makes sense to me.  Well this one cop who had said hi to me like ten hours before while he was patrolling through the casino garage parking lot in his black and white followed me down the hill on my third attempt as I was skating over to this heather chick sitting in the car we were putting gas in.  long story short the cop said he was surprised to see someone skating at this time of the morning which I didn’t give a shit about what he was saying because I wasn’t holding anything illegal and like I said I still have my rights.  I was totally unconcerned even when he asked me if he could peek at my drivers license.  I gladly gave it to him but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that heather was cringing and looking pretty unhappy.  Turns out she had been busted for drugs and a bunch of other shit in 2007 and had been to prison and stuff and so she had search terms which basically for all you laymen means that the cops can tear up all your shit looking for contraband without having any reason whatsoever except that they want to.  This cop was totally cool with me and with heather actually.  But even though they didn’t even search me and basically relegated me to the sidelines where I skated for the next hour, they definitely searched heather and the car she was driving which wasn’t hers.  They found a bunch of checkbooks in the car that one of the homies had come across somehow I have no idea about any of that part of the story since I had just met this chick and we were just flirting and shit in the casino.  Anyways it was Christmas eve so they eventually let her go but it was pretty close to her being hauled off to jail.  Just goes to show you that its pretty important to keep a clean record if you can because it helps when dealing with law enforcement officials.  I never got to stick my dick in that heather chick I think she was  a little jaded about my skating being responsible for her getting hassled by the man but fuck it she is one of many.  And in fact a couple of days after Christmas I met this other heather chick at another casino this time in palm springs and I won’t even tell you the details of what happened but put it this way I met her at 7 pm and I was sticking my cock in her by 8:30 pm and that is no lie and she was a hot little bitch in fact I stuck it in her again on the day after new years so there you go.  Well this is just a little tiny smidgen of an update on whats going on with Anthony mandich hero to the degenerates.  Oh yeah one more thing props to this website I started checking out last night called the dreamin demon.  They have stories of so many fucking assholes who hurt kill destroy and spread their evil around indiscriminately every single day that it makes me feel a lot better about myself.  Man, people are really fucked up motherfuckers.

Blocking you Now


·         RE: blocking you now‏

 

8:23 PM

Reply  ▼

To UnNamed Ex Girlfriend

 

Dear UnNamed Ex Girlfriend,

All I can say to that email is WOW!  That is just so WOW!  I don’t know what else to say then WOW!  Sorry, I know it seems a little trite but this one truly left me speechless, a difficult achievement where I’m concerned as you know.  Its gripping in its sheer dramatic soap operaishness.  I’m very happy that you are going to finally get a chance to give the man that you have been in love with all of these years 100% of your soul.  That’s great news!

Its also just utterly intriguing to witness the lengths you go through to block “ME” from getting in touch with you, only to voluntarily retract whatever mechanism you use, usually within 48 hours.  Often I don’t even realize that you have done any of these actions since I mostly wait for you to contact me these days.

The finality in which you vehemently exclaim that you’ll never hear from me in person as long as you live is quite amusing as well I have to admit, UnNamed Ex Girlfriend.  Not only do you try to make me out to be a “stalker” which is the polar opposite of reality, its also the 400th time (at least) you’ve made the same declaration.  I wish you luck, as usual, in this and all endeavors you choose to tackle in the future.

I remain your humble servant,

Anthony J. Mandich, Miscreant


Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:58:43 -0700
Subject: blocking you now
From: UnNamed Ex Girlfriend@gmail.com
To: krashthrills@hotmail.com

thank you for giving me the courage to be honest to Jon. I told him Ive been in love with him for 15 yrs. He’s been waiting to hear that all this time. I’m going to give him 100% of my soul, not holding back now since you are dead to me. I’m going to be married and if I get pregnant I’ll have his baby no matter what. This is the day I become a  woman who belongs to someone for the rest of my life. I’ll be his wife and the mother of his children. Watch and see. I can guarantee this.

 

I’m blocking you from replying to this. I tore my phone out of the wall for the house. you are blocked from every phone, email, etc. I’ll never  hear from you as long as I live. If I ever see you in person, I’ll turn and walk in the opposite direction

Drug Free


hello my fine friends.  i’m sure you have all missed my musings greatly over the past sixty days or so.  i’ve been on hiatus from the internet.  i had a bit of a monkey on my back named crystal methamphetamine and i had to get rid of that beast before it took my life.  i’m not going to rant and rave about being clean all of a sudden.  i hate that sort of shit.  but i will just say for now that i’m very happy to be getting chubby hahahaha and it’s been nice to see all of my old friends starts creeping out of the woodwork and re-entering my life slowly but surely.  i’m hoping to build up some bridges i’ve decimated over the past several years and with everyone’s encouragement i’m sure i will.  i have to give a shout out to jim waataja, tamara cross, heather batchelder, briar scragg, april shand, stephanie kelly, kira rose, aaron maturino, jason rhodes and most of all my mother heather davies for helping me keep my head up and for being proud of me over the last 44 days.

 

44 days ha ha that sounds like such a joke really.  for people that haven’t been on meth daily smoking it for nine years it seems like nothing being off it for 44 days.  for me its a lifetime.

going to the hootenanny tomorrow to check out the supersuckers murder city devils swingin’ utters dropkick murphys et al.  it should be a blast.  i’ll smoke a cigarette and drink a beer lol and think about all my friends who can’t be with me. have a good fourth of july weekend okay.  i’ll start writing some insightful and crazy stories of what has been going on with me soon.  peace out. people.

stickdog inside the van


me and a girlfriend just got home from a night in temecula, calfiornia.  it was a pretty good night considering that i started today off with $1.74 in assorted change.  i wasn’t really expecting to come across any substantial sums of money being that it was sunday and i was fucking beat to shit.  when i left saturday night i distinctly remember leaving 7 $1 dollar bills in my room along with the aforementioned $1.74.  however when i arrived home from saturday night (on sunday morning), the dastardly greenbacks were no place to be found.  out of smokes…out of hope?  never!  things do have a way of working out even for a silly kid like me. 

i have (actually had) this supposedly antique copper gunpowder horn that i salvaged from the pile of trash located on the grounds of so cal sandbags that used to be the essence of a man named james morris’ existence.  the whole james morris story is not going to be told here and now.  i just don’t have the time to get into that fascinating bit o’ folklore.  its a tale for another day.  for now suffice to say that my dear friend stephanie kelly  was in charge of sorting through a huge pile of trash/valuables that was covered by a plastic tarp located next to a metal container which was adjacent to the welding station  at so cal sandbags corona headquarters.  for several days a few weeks back i helped her sort through this moutain of rat shit infested, rain soaked treasure.  one of the items that i retrieved and which she graciously allowed me to keep was this gunpowder horn i’m talking about.

anyhow, long story short, after a bit of investigation on the internet for prices of comparable items, i listed the thing on craiglist for $78.  a couple weeks after listing it i received a call from an asian fellow with an american accent named gary karaga who expressed interest in purchasing the item but only for $50.  i hemmed and hawed but eventually agreed.  my reason for agreeing was manyfold.  first of all nobody else had even made an inquiry into the thing since i listed it.  second of all i am in dire straights financially with a forced move immnient (on may 1st, 2011).  third of all i have no place to move to and too much stuff to take to “no place” as it is; therefore now is not the time to be getting sentimental about junk. 

i guess my long story short promise isn’t coming true but fuck that anyways.  its my computer and my brain and nobody is forcing anyone to read this shit so leave me be.  i can type as much as i want.

gary and i initially agreed to meet at the shell station on second and hamner in norco on monday morning at 10 a.m.  (as in five and one half hours from right now).  i was neither pleased nor displeased by the arrangement.  in truth i didn’t really care much.  during the week i have a plethora of legal ways to obtain money for my hedonistic pleasures so the promise of 50 measly bucks on a monday didn’t exactly get my juices flowing, or my pecker hard or anything like that.  still though, it was a solid and sure thing in my opinion.  gary didn’t seem like the type to flake and broke dirtbags can’t be choosers so i didn’t hate the whole idea either. 

still though, it was sunday and i didn’t have any smokes, let alone intoxicants of any nature such as chocolate donuts and chocolate milk one of my survival staples.  i was thinking to myself how nice it would have been to find that $7 missing dollars actually.  that would have been just what the doctor ordered to cure my cravings for ciggies, donuts and artificially flavored milk.  i wasn’t even thinking about the $50 from gary karaga as it was not a deal that was even on the radar for sunday.  he had explicitly stated monday and that was that.  in fact at the time we made the arrangement, on saturday, when he asked me if i would be willing to take $50 for it i had already tried the “one time only offer good for tonight agreement tactic”.  if that makes no sense and it shouldn’t unless your name is rene prospero aka stickdog  let me quickly break that down in english.  he asked about the 50 bucks and would i accept it.  this was on saturday.  i said yes.  but only if he picked it up tonight (saturday).  i tried to play hardball but totally half assed.  in fact i caved immediately when he said he couldn’t do it until monday but that he would for sure pick it up on monday if i was willing to accept the $50. 

which of course i was.  i mean fuck me running people, i need cash in a bad way.  the reason behind me explaining this is so you can see what a pleasant and lovely shock it was when on sunday at 9 am or so, i got another call from gary telling me that he was going to be passing by norco in 15 minutes and he wanted to pick up the gunpowder horn now if that was okay with me.  halleluiah!  thank you God for that one.  i was pretty excited about the fact that i was about to get some smokes and whatnot and of course it was okay with me.  in anticipation i grabbed  one of the $2 off a pack of smokes  coupons sean stenlake my fine feathered friend had given to me upon his receipt of same from camel.  it was natural that he handed them over to me seeing that he doesn’t pollute his temple with things like tobacco. i hadn’t used any of them yet but it seemed like a perfect time.  you see i realized that $50 was just barely enough to make my sunday into an alright day with the possibilities for even more depending on whether fortune was smiling on me.

i was tired but i had a ritalyn i got from someplace a while back.  that was one issue handled.  i had enough gas to get where i needed to go providing that i was wise with the small amount of money that i would have at my disposal.  i’m sure you can see where this is all leading since the first sentence of this story has me arriving at home at 4:04 a.m. on monday morning from temecula after having a good night.  anybody that knows anything about me knows that temecula is home to pechanga casino and that i was planning on getting some cheap smokes, some cheap food, no gas and making my way to the good old casino to see if i could turn $50 (minus expenses) into something tangible, something you can sink your teeth into.

i’m getting ahead of myself really.  first i had to get my head out of la la land and into the drivers seat of my large automobile, powderhorn in hand, to go meet the buyer mr. karaga, and collect the cash.  a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush right?  and i needed that fucking bird in my hands asap.  i cruised down to shell where gary and his pretty companion were already parked up in their clean, black, mini cooper waiting for me.  i pulled up next to his car, handed him the goods, exchanged pleasantries, collected the cash, shook hands and bid him adieu.  my next step after ascertaining that shell would not accept manufacturers coupons for cigarettes was to cross hamner to the freeway side and march into 7-11 where the very pleasant clerk (cindy?) got me my smokes took my $2.93 and wished me well. 

so far so good.  i stopped by the now legendary jack in the box by my house.  some of you may be familiar with this jack in the box as i have already described certain events relating to this eatery in detail not long ago.  i grabbed something called a cheeseburger deluxe which cost me less then $2 and which i actually paid for with that change (the $1.74 that wasn’t missing like the still unfound $7 from saturday).  what a delightful and tasty little sandwich that was by the way.  a bargain at $1.49 plus tax  (at participating locations) to be sure!

jesus i just glanced at the time and realized i’ve been writing this for an hour and that my neck is starting to ache so i’m not going to get into the details of my evening at pechanga except to say that i was accompanied by a pretty girl who i had only hours earlier savagely made love to.  we had an excellent evening, night, and early morning.  i won over $200 in cash from the crafty folk at pechanga and managed to escape with it all and also managed to make it back home safely which is where i find myself now.  all in all a good day, a blessing from God in all asspects and then to top it all off, i received an email from stickdog, otherwise known as rene prospero which i’ll quote and end this story with.  it kind of filled out my day and made me feel like i was on the right track in this journey otherwise known as life.  so here you go, share his words with me and i’ll talk to you guys later on okay:

tony u r the man…your art is the only art i get…i have loved it since day one…i ceartinly hope u can sell some so u can afford to continue..i wish i had held on to any of the shit from heathers garage…at least i have the angels jersey that u did, that is the only piece i have…i am truly your biggest fan because all other “art” i see pales in comparason… i need to obtain some pieces!!!your website/blog is sick also i think people are biggining to understand your witty humor that i ve loved for so long…u fuckin rip man!!! rene

Sometimes Life Will Beat The Shit Of You


Monday April 18th, 2011 11:45 a.m.

I just read the May, 2010 Reader’s Digest at some friends house while waiting hours for them to get ready so that we can finally get the fuck out of  here.  I’ve got to moan and  complain a little just because I feel like its the right thing to do but in reality I wasn’t even bored.  I’m talking two and a half hours or more of sitting here in the computer room reading Reader’s Digest cover to cover and then just now watching a fight from Bellator 39.  Ben Saunders vs. Matt Song Lee isn’t the ugliest MMA fight you will ever see.  Ben Saunders isn’t the most devastating striker I’ve ever seen nor is Matt Song Lee the most courageous person to take an ass beating inside the octagon.  That being said, just click on that link two lines up and watch the fight.  The fact that this is pretty much just the normal run of the mill everyday sorta fight ought to tell you a little bit about how insane MMA as a sport is.   The doctors call a stop to the fight with maybe 3 minutes left in the 3rd round after Saunders catches Lee with yet another short, gash causing, bone thumping, flesh crushing elbow. This one, above the left eye,  is almost a perfect match for the one Lee had  already been sporting in the same spot, opposite eye.  Not to mention the huge lump, actually call it what it is, an insane hematoma underthe left eye,  the massive gash on his cheek, the broken and battered and disgustingly bloody mashed piece of dog shit that used to be his nose..

Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn boy!

Watching this fight maybe three years ago, I would have been just amazed and astounded, and don’t get me wrong it was  a very interesting and entertaining fight to be sure.  The thing is, these days I’m used to seeing that kind of amazing, “fight of the year” type battle, every fight card that I get into.   It can be Bellator, StrikeForce, the WEC, Pride, Dream, Elite XC, or the UFC it doesn’t really matter.  All of them have a bevy of insanely talented and tough as nails MMA warriors to choose from.

The talent pool is rife with “the next big thing”, can’t miss guys (and ladies) ready to basically get in there and kill or be killed which is pretty much the ideal recipe for what fight fans want to really see.   In my opinion there is not even a comparison to be made between MMA and “the sweet science” of Boxing in terms of ferocity, courage, big hype fights that live up to the hype, interesting matchups etc.  MMA is home to the  stories that awe the audience with the rush of emotion we feel,

underdogs rising to the occasion, unbelievable trash talking before fights, followed by humble respect for kindred warriors after…..insane knockouts, crazy action, seemingly impossible feats of athleticism (see Anthony Pettit’s off the cage kick in the WEC), and just overall hooplah.  In comparison (or lack thereof) rare indeed is the really engaging boxing match.  Rare indeed is the boxing match that everybody wants to see.  I don’t understand how the disparity in income levels of the stars in each sport continues to exist.  I’m sure that has to change soon.

Anyways I think I have to get out of here now my friend is actually done with whatever  they needed to do while I’ve been sitting here as quietly as a church mouse.  So I will need to cut this off quickly.  How about a pic of some gratuitous “hottest ass”?  That sounds great actually let me find something really quickly hold on.

I love this thing I will eat this thing she has the hottest ass

There you go I have made you life complete have I not?  By the way I just saw the reason why I get so many hits under hottest ass on google.  On google.com/images if you search for “hottest ass” with your safe search set to moderate, a pic from one of my other posts is the 15th image shown out of 1,810,000.  Which isn’t too bad is it?

See ya

Swamp chickens, Ghetto dwelling, and the Norco Crips


That title is surely an attention getter if ever I did see one.  By the way for the last week or so ever since I decided that I am from North Carolina you would do much better as far as understanding my nonsense if you read it in your mind as if you was also from North Carolina or any other state that refers to shopping carts as buggies.  Just read it with a twang and we’re gonna get along just fine okay.

I ain’t really got much time for a post here right now being the urban jet setting pretty boy that I am but I feel its necessary to touch base with my constituents from time to time as a way of  getting down into the trenches with y’all common folk.  Y’uns is spectacular prized pupils of mine.  The lesson that I am trying to teach has not been revealed to me as of yet but I’m sure it will be in time for all of us to get the necessary wisdom  from that there lesson.

Actually this is a garbled attempt at sounding somehow outlandish when really and truly I am in a rush.  I need to go meet up with my sister Theresa who has my driver’s license by 5pm at her place of gainful employment, I forgot the name of it but its over there up yonder somewhere in the vicinity of Lincoln Avenue and the 91 Freeway.  She done told me that it was on the other side of McDonald’s which must be a blessing for anyone to be so honored to work nearby such a beautiful and wonderful company outlet as a franchisee of McDonald’s.  I would love to work nearby McDonald’s and have the wonderful sensation of gaining a pound of rancid beef fat added to my svelte waistline each and everyday.  After all, its a very family friendly and budget conscious place to eat.  You know as well that McDonald’s corporate  headquarters has made it their mission in 2011 for all of its many franchises to express individuality and originality with their menu options.

For instance in Fontana, California, the McDonald’s franchisee up there has renamed his restaurant McTucky’s after their adopted home state of Kentucky.  They offer such delectable delights as the McSwamp Chicken Tenderloin sandwich in honor of the great state of Alabama (Roll Tide!!).  Does anyone know what a swamp chicken is by the way?  I coined the phrase myself of course one day last week in a state of extreme delirium when I was visited by an apparition of a redneck militia soldier who rolled up on me in his buggy while I was playing Cleopatra Keno over at Pechanga Casino.

I had been at the same machine for 16 days you see, and I felt like I needed dialysis treatment because my kidneys had been assaulted by nothing but Pepsis as way of nutrition the entire marathon session.  When you are sitting at a slot machine which you don’t want to give up because its already taken your firstborn child, your left testicle, 75% of your remaining life force and of course the contents of your wallet, all available credit cards and a good deal of your dignity (due to having been forced to prostitute yourself in the high limits bathrooms to creepy Asian matrons with breath that smells like Pork Kung Pao dipped in Ponzu Sauce and served with fresh garlic) it gets kinda hard to remember the basic fundamentals of healthy human living like eating food, taking showers and brushing your teeth (also known as gumming your hushpuppies, if you are from Missouri, the Buggy State).

It never fails you see, when you have thrown the equivalent of a brand new Chevrolet Suburban into a computerized personal one armed robbery facilitator, or “slot machine”, and you get up out of frustration to maybe clear your head, brush your nasty ass teeth and have a smoke while maybe even taking a look at the  sun for the first time in forever, that some old ass asian water buffalo will saunter up and immediately hit the progressive jackpot on your untended machine.  If you have ever gone through such a miserable and incomprehensibly demoralizing (sound familiar 12 steppers?) nightmare as I have many times you know what I’m talking about.  Its painful hombre.  Very very painful.

In an effort to ensure that  such a horrible outcome does not repeat itself, most compulsively degenerate morons who gamble, such as myself, have taken certain steps, which  when used in conjunction with a lobotomy, have been shown to be of assistance in dealing with this issue.  One of these steps is known as Transcendental Medication and is a method similar to the “meditation” practiced by Buddhists and New Age Flower Children for years now.  Many of the processes involved with TM as I’ll call it are the same only different as its older, better, less stupid brother, Meditation.  Both involve wiping the psyche clear of mental debris that maybe inhibiting the swamp also known as your mind and preventing it from processing life through a more realistic and less expensive filter then the constantly failing “Angry and Disgruntled Degenerate Slot Player” most of the people that benefit from TM have historically chosen.

You are probably asking yourself what any of this slick jargon has to do with the topic you are here to learn more about.  That topic of course is the history of the Swamp Chicken which no doubt has left you in a state of nervous anticipation, bordering on frenzied manic hysteria while you have been nervously counting down the hours until which time I deemed appropriate to share with you, gentle reader.  To be honest, I’m somewhat lost myself on what TM has to do with a swamp chicken.  The thing is, I  figure it would be a waste to waste (is that even proper grammar?) my elegantly crafted lines of pure horse manure that I’ve typed so far so (again….proper grammar?) I’m just going to have to continue bluffing at the connection between the two totally unrelated and actually non exsitent subjects.

I figure its easier to just continue double barreling y’all with blasts of bullshit that have no roots in reality rather then suck it up, admit to God, myself and all of the other human beings the exact nature of my “lack of anything meaningful to share” and start over or perhaps even scrap the whole ridiculous idea of writing a post today.  Hopefully, I can continue to baffle and amaze both of us with this boisterous, bat shit bending banter and somehow pull it all together at the end with some sort of  fairy tale like save while managing to sound humble, enthusiastic and pleasantly self effacing at the same time as appearing to be competent and genuine.

I am thinking that maybe this is a bit much to have on my plate today but you know what “they” say…(throw in some tired cliche about never losing sight of your dreams) and a blah blah blah blah blah blah and a yaddha yaddha yaddha.

Oh yeah, ghetto dwelling and the Norco Crips too okay? Assa lamma lenkum my brothers and sisters and God bless us each and everyone.  Take care folks, talk to y’uns later.

This is Anthony Mandich, your humble and nutritious servant saying, So Long!

Muah!!!

P.S.  “Hottest Ass”

P.P.S. “Sex, drugs, and Pussy”!

P.P.S.S. “Sean Stenlake”, Sean Stenlake:  Attorney at Law, Sean Stenlake:  American Hero, Sean Stenlake:  The Brother I Never Knew, Sean Stenlake:  Lessons in Being Great, Sean Stenlake I Love You, Sean Stenlake:  Blue Eyed Wunderkind, Sean Stenlake:  Everything You Have Always Wanted to Know But Were Afraid to Assk

one last thing, i’m going to experiment to see how many hits i get from putting these tags in this post okay?  sean stenlake, sean stenlake attorney, anthony mandich idiot savant, what a stupid blog, god i’m dumb, ass, hottest ass, hottest fucking ass meets hotter fucking ass, asses that are hot, hotties without ass, ass loving hoes, what an ass, asshole, ass ass ass nothing but just pure ass, got ass?, want ass?, smell my ass, you are an ass, assume nothing, makes an ass out of you and me, get it ass?, ha ha ha ass sss you eaten dinner yet, ass is assembled, big huge ass in my ass, tickle my ass, put your cigar out on my ass, man do i love talking about ass, ass is so cool man, its all about the ass, get it, ass???, who wants to over use the word ass?, jackass, horse’s ass, jackasses with ass eating tendencies, horse’s ass is a big ass and they fuck that ass, horny mexican mamas with hottest ass, korean ass, chinese ass, japanese ass, white trash ass bandit, booty smelling ass pigs, ass in zen, common characteristics of an ass, wikipedia entry for ass, history of anthony mandich’s ass, poop comes out of a butt but you sir are an ass, Wiki ass, wiki mandich asshole, fucking ass lover, grape nuts drive me nuts ass boy, why do you love the mans ass so god damn much, damn what an ass, enough already with the ass ass, ass ass boy, ass ass toy, jump on that ass, fist that ass, tongue dart the dark star, jason rhodes is an ass, me and my ass, growing up with my ass, hairy ass, smelly ass, fat as a rhino’s ass, big ass white bitches, trailer park ass, old ass, legal young ass, don’t be such an ass, monetizing your blog through the use of the word ass, google searches with ass, attention getting titles, attention getting ass, assghanistan, north carolina living, i come from a buggy, get in my buggy, mantra, meditation, buddhism, transcendental medication, professing to be wise, they became fools, facing the nation, 12 steps, incomprehensible demoralization, self effacing twits, mocking the readers, the moons over my hammy, ethan hawke, boys love boys ass that are over 18 of course. smash that ass with your tongue, faux outlandish, cliche driven mockery, waste of time topics, dude i want to kill you for wasting my time, becoming a slog even if you are human, human seo, human slog, slog, search engine optimization for dummies, copyrights for dummies, dummies for dummies, buggies for dummies, stupid is forrest gumpisms for dummies, i’m a big old dummy, i fuck chicks, i fuck chicks alot, chcks love to suck my ass

hhahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha

Its so much like a jungle, sometimes it makes me wonder, how I keep from going under

Fuck this! Fuck that!


What does it say about our nation when 59 of the 94 hits I have gotten on my blog today are from people doing searches on google?  Before you answer consider that 90% of the searches had some variant of the word “ass” in them.  Ha Ha Ha!  I don’t even remember which post I did that included all this ass people are searching for.  I have posted one hot pic of these Catholic School chicks  just looking so fuckable its insane here let me show you that one again.

The blonde chick has the hottest ass and I want to eat it.

Come on Can you Really DENY the essential horniness in this picture?  I’m not asking the eunuchs in the house.  Actually are there any eunuchs that read my this blog?  Doubtful.  Do you even know what a eunuch is?  According to the online dictionary Merriam Webster:

eu·nuch

noun \ˈyü-nək, -nik\

Definition of EUNUCH

1: a castrated man placed in charge of a harem or employed as a chamberlain in a palace
2: a man or boy deprived of the testes or external genitals
3: one that lacks virility or power <political eunuchs>
eu·nuch·ism \-nə-ˌki-zəm, -ni-\ noun

Origin of EUNUCH

Middle English eunuk, from Latin eunuchus, from Greek eunouchos, from eunē bed + echein to have, have charge of — more at scheme

First Known Use: 15th century
Here’s a sample test to see if you “might” have eunuch tendencies.  Do any of the pictures on this blog post make you feel like shedding your clothes and doing crazy things with appropriately aged, consenting females?  If you answered no then you have definitely better get yourself checked for Eunuch Disease.
Too Bad She wouldn't marry me
Anyways, so yeah I’m not really talking to the eunuchs in the house because I don’t want to skew my results but for everybody else even girls isn’t there just a raw sexuality to that picture?  Fucking Hot is what I say! Getting off the path of righteousness here but its hard to concentrate with that ass staring at me and taunting me hahahaha.  This is how shallow I am.  I wanna marry the girl with that blonde ass.  You heard me.  Sight unseen, can’t even pretend to know what her face is like but just the ass alone is enough to make me want to leave my entire fortune to her. That’s so fucked up.
How would I go about finding her?  And if I did somehow find her what would I say by way of introducing myself?  “Umm…hi, ever since I saw that picture of you doing dirty things with your school girl uniform on, I’ve really wanted to get to know you better?”  She’d be like, “okaaaaaaay stalker”, as she pulls out her pepper spray…
I had these good intentions to write a good little farcical tale on how depraved the people who find my blog through google searches about ass are and look what has happened! I’ve sunk down to their levels.  I’m one of them.  I can’t deny it.  I’ve probably searched for gnarlier shit then the people who end up here anyways.  Nothing comes to mind really but I can remember more then one time, trying to type one handed looking for some good old internet porn.  One handed as in with the left hand because the right hand was all greased up lol hahahahaha.  Too much information Mr Mandich.  nobody wants to hear about your sick self love episodes!  (that’s what i have to keep telling myself).
She's pretty fucking hot. She dumped me lol.
My favorite kind of writing is this sing song nonsense, the computerized version of talking because you like the sound of your own voice.  I’ve had a lot of hits on my blog lately.  Enough for me to start thinking that maybe I’m something special (should have known better).  Here is the exact numbers from the six days prior to today:  140, 108, 133, 117, 147, 124 and last time I looked maybe an hour ago I had 94 for the day already.  I just looked now and I have 97 for the day.  Last night on Excel, I quickly extrapolated those numbers and figured out that I’m averaging 900 views per week, 4000 per month, 48,000 per year.  So I started to get a little bit of a big head like I said.
Anthony Mandich is still very much in love with Marilyn Monroe
But I dug into the numbers a bit and that’s when I noticed that the only thing carrying my pathetic blogs numbers are the different variations of “ass” searches on google.  Sad but true.  I guess I need to really work on the quality of my content in order to gain more readers.
That’s all, and have a happy Sunday my friends.  (All seven of you!!!)
Anthony Mandich gets a funny feeling inside when he sees this girl