AXM stands for Anthony Xanadu Mandich


In 2017 the author, aging so slowly that whispers began to permeate regarding his nefarious dealings with the devil, decided that it was time to call in all of the favors he had managed to squirrel away over a decade of decadance and begin his own personal crusade to wring out every drop of life from his life, becoming a hero of some kind and getting all the chicks, while saving the world.
To be honest the details were a little sketchy still but the combination of PMA, boner pills, a harsh workout regimen and tons of mangos was beginning to become impossible to ignore and fascinating to be a part of.
You are lucky enough to enter this sordid yet enthralling world with Anthony X. Mandich, and at the very least, bear witness to his indomitable spirit, dashing good looks, plethora of lady callers and fierce fighting skills in the coming months.
Allegations of impropriety between Anthony X. and Dracula’s bride still persist but in this day and age a simple vampire encounter resulting in immortality is not interesting or controversial enough to make the jaded citizenry of the greater Los Angeles area even take notice of let alone talk about and this allows for Mr. Mandich and his cohorts to enjoy some much appreciated anonymity while the details of his crusade are being finalized.

 

Welcome…take my hand and lets begin.

Just got stabbed in neck by Barbie


My daughter just gave me a hug from Barbie a second ago.  Unfortunately Barbie has some hard plastic limbs and she inadvertently stabbed me in the neck.  There is quite a lot of blood pouring out of my carotid artery as I type.  Hopefully I can stem the flow a little bit, buying me at least enough time to write a proper entry here.  Its been a minute.  Its hard as fuck to concentrate on this shit though because my same three year old kid is sitting here asking me if the socks that she just picked up off of the floor are from Frozen.  She is also asking me if I can find her shoes.  She is also going through all of the drawers of clothes that I just put away yesterday when I cleaned up this fucking nightmare room.  Her purpose in tearing through the drawers is ostensibly to find proper attire for Barbie.  You see, we are getting ready to go to the store together to find buy some Pullups because she is still having issues with potty training and can’t really be trusted to be completely diaper free just yet.  Her biggest issue seems to be not taking a shit in her panties everyday.  Luckily for me the shits she is taking are pretty firm in consistency and don’t really cause that much of a mess which is a good thing.  It kind of keeps my sanity intact for one more day if you know what  I mean.  If you know what I mean really then I feel sorry for you because nobody should ever really have to relate with my nutty life.  Now I have the adorable little child standing next to me going through my little sketch pad and asking me about every single thing that I have ever drawn in there and asking me who each person is.  The problem is she is not satisfied with answers like, “oh its a little man” or “its a little doggie”.  Then she wants me to draw an itsy bitsy spider for her.  She loves that little itsy bitsy fucking spider so much that I have to draw her another one.  Now I’m starting to lose my focus if you know what I mean.  Of course! We just fucking went through that whole thing I forgot.  I’m ignoring her so she is getting more desperate for my attention, telling me that she needs to go into the shower, which she just got out of.  I ignore that so she starts pushing me and saying daddy a few dozen different ways.  Stone face so she starts really pushing me and calling me by my Christian name which happens to be Anthony.

I forgot I was even writing this.  Its like 4 hours later and we went to Walmart together (Daddy and Daughter) and got boisterous for a little while.  We were both just amazed at “how cute” every single product that had a tie into the Frozen movie was.  That’s what Audrey said literally about every single thing she recognized from that blasted movie that fucking Walmart had stocked on their shelves, in special displays all over the fucking store, next to the elevators, escalators, entrances and exits, restrooms, dressing rooms you name it. I actually was amazed…she just thought each thing was so cute and of course she wanted one of everything in the store.  She was cracking me up so I did get her a couple of things and using my mind manipulation techniques I was even able to convince her that her Pampers Pull Ups were a special treat.  What we settled on for her were a pair of shoes with lighted heels and special pics of Frozen princesses Elsa and Anna.  I was considering shoplifting the fucking things to see if I still had it but ultimately decided to leave well enough alone and even though the shoes were safely on baby girl’s feet and the upc price tag safely ensconced in the box containing my new mma hand wraps, when I was paying at the register I made a point out of making sure that the semi attractive cashier (Debbie I think) rang the shoes up.  They were $15.87 by the way.  We also got her a mini basketball which she picked out.  It was neck and neck between  the mini basketball and oddly enough a football (no soccer but football like the NFL football).  She had never previously shown any interest in or knowledge of the fact that football even existed prior to tonight as far as I know so I was kinda tripping on the interest in the football to begin with.

In case you were really fascinated by our shopping trip and you want to know what I purchased for myself, too fucking bad.  The only reason I am still working on this article is because I am getting ready to go running in a few minutes but first I need my piece of shit phone to charge up enough that I can listen to my fucking Spotify punk rock motivational crap and have my Runtastic app remain open on and running for my entire run so I don’t get cheated out of mileage and times like always happens because something stupid like not having a properly charged phone battery rears up hisses and fucks up my mojo for that day.  It never fails to happen when I am on a personal best pace on a day with heavy mileage being run, a day I would be able to use as bragging evidence via a screen shot that I use whenever some body that is not dead and also knows me but hasn’t spoken to me for one reason or another for six months invariably gets to chatting and asks me the innocuous sounding “so what have you been up to”? and I use that as my opening to bore the tears out of another apathetic winner from my past, present, or future.   Anyways yeah not having a fully charged phone can really come back to bite a guy in the ass in these circumstances.

I’m wearing a really homosexual looking Adidas athletic suit thing right now which is not very flattering especially with the pooch belly I still have even after running 1,367 miles since October 6th of last year.  I think it might even be unwashed in fact I’m pretty sure it is.  And its not mine.  I found it in the barn at my cousins house in Los Angeles and I’m reasonably certain that it belonged to my cousin Dayna’s soon to be ex husband.  He is a cross fit guru allegedly ranked number two in the USA at one point.  Anyways my cousin John gave me permission to keep the ugly stinky article of clothing and the funny thing is I don’t think he really had/has the authority to be giving away another man’s homosexually slanted gay pirate muscle suit thing.  But he did.  And I accepted it because I wanted it and I really don’t know why.  Maybe I enjoy dressing like a gay.  I’m pretty sure I do in certain aspects but that’s not a subject to get into right now.

I’m well aware that I am coming across as a mental defective and I’m really not one I don’t think but I have to admit being somewhat enamored with the whole stream of consciousness that can come pouring out of my fingertips almost without even trying at certain times.  Real talk for a second and I just made this mental connection that the reason for my sauciness tonight is that I have been power watching past episodes of Shameless on Netflix and Showtime on Demand for the past few days and if you watch Shameless you know that basically every character is larger than life, smartasstic horny drug taking hedonist sado masochistic and kind of bad overall yet they fascinate me.  Lip is especially cool and I want to fuck Fiona badly.

In case anyone cared or didn’t know I have relocated out of the Temecula Elsinore Casino Meth Capitalistic Inland Empire Bro Prison White Trash Desperado Probation Parole Headquarters to the lovely confines of Los Angeles which has all of that and more but is infinitely more interesting, diverse, busy and I have to think educated in a certain way that is part money and culture but also street smart mixed with school smart mixed with mostly transplanted out of towners from all over the world melting pot with history and millions of stories waiting to be wrenched from the surroundings where they lie.  Temecula in particular has nowhere near the historical appeal of someplace like Hollywood and I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being very happy that I am out here.  I don’t have any sort of permanent thing going on here but I am working towards having something that makes sense to a higher percentage of those with their crazy lives somewhat in control.

Hopefully it will all work out for me and little Audrey out here near Tinseltown.  Who knows maybe I can get her a part in some sitcom or some shit.  She is a little charming actress fake crier extraodinaire already so we shall see.  Along those lines, Ed Harris and his wife (I think) are filming some kind of something at the property where I currently reside.  I’m not going to be more specific than the greater Los Angeles Area and its not because I don’t want any of you to know where I am  but out of respect for the people who are nice enough to let my daughter and myself sleep here temporarily.  Its nice to have a bloody roof over my head and to know my daughter is safe.

I’ve lost my focus here obviously so I am going to cut this post now and if you are lucky I may just publish it in the next five minutes so one or two of you can read along and send some good vibes and thoughts my way.  Any girls that want to fuck, I’m down as of right now.  Private message me and I will give you my cell  phone number. If I have a girlfriend down the road shortly and she is reading this let me take a quick moment to apologize.  I’m sorry honey (whoever you are) I’m just lonely and often really horny. So yeah.  I have gotten with a few very hot little mamas since arriving in Los Angeles. I’m not going to out them on this forum but trust me we are talking about some primo female flesh.  Just counting my blessings.

Steve Jacobson, Josh Erlenmeyer, Elijah Brown, Kris Cass, Steve Bultsma and others have promised to meet up with me out here in Los Angeles and thus far have not made the attempt.  I can understand why for Steve and Elijah who both think I will be an over the top distraction for important women in their lives.  Josh will eventually get in touch and Kris Cass and Stevie will too.  Faith in humanity and faith in friends.  You gotta have that shit if you are going to have a happy life.  I gotta go running now.  I have four miles of warm ups and warm downs with 8 sprints of a half mile thrown in the middle.  45 seconds of rest after each sprint is not nearly enough so I really gotta go motherfuckers.

Thank God (that’s what you are probably muttering to yourself under your breath if you made it this far)

I dedicate this post to the memory of Charles McEldowney.  I love you Charlie.  Hopefully I can hump your girl Mia too.  That would be lovely. 

Liza Rowe and Nikki Knightly are fine ass ladiesHollywood-Sign-Wallpaper

 

 

 

My Friend Sean Stenlake’s Wife and Other Interesting Topics


Creepy Title.  I love it.

Sean Stenlake is a very good friend of mine and he has the sexiest wife I have ever had the pleasure of fantasizing about.  I bring Tasha up because Mr. Stenlake sent me a very hot photo of his wife via text a couple of weeks ago and she is so damn gorgeous with the tastiest looking ass.  I was bragging about Sean to my friend Darren earlier today because I think Sean is a good example for chubby guys who want to get in shape. I just get the sense that Sean used to be a bit of a chubby kid but he started working out and waxing all of the hair off of his body and being really good smelling guy and pretty soon he had so many hot girls but the hottest one of all he got to marry.  That is a real success story in my mind.  His wife was actually in Playboy and that is not a joke.  You see my friend Darren is a baller and a very handsome fellow with an incredible penis and a great personality and he gets tons of chicks already but I was making the point to him that the world would be his oyster if he got rid of the baby fat he has been carrying around for a while.  I’m talking twenty pounds and a stud all of a sudden turns into a god.  Which is what I like to imagine happened with Sean Stenlake.  Its one of my little fantasies that I like to think about when I start to think about touching my penis.  I never ACTUALLY have touched myself thinking about Tasha or Sean but its a nice idea.  Stupid opening to this diatribe and I apologize. This was never meant to be a story about Sean Stenlake or his wife but I just had to mention it because of what I already told you about Darren.

The mother of my child is watching Fifty Shades of Grey on the big screen in the living room of our comped suite at Harrah’s Rincon Resort and Casino located in some place down a sort of a freeway that starts where Pala Casino is.  I am pretty sure that its not actually a city although it might be called Rincon or Valley Center but who the fuck knows.  This movie is pretty much not doing much for me although the naïve chick star has a pretty nice looking pudenda from what I can see through those cotton panties she is wearing that I would love to sniff preferably from behind while she is still wearing them.

The first sex scene just ended and now I can tell you that it doesn’t even measure up to soft porn.  The dude is playing some really dramatic song on the piano and wait a minute she wakes up and it looks like he is going to fuck her properly.  Just when it looks like it might be interesting it cuts to the happy, glowing, lovebirds waking up staring into each other’s eyes.  Gay.

I wonder should I make the move on the kids mom sitting twenty feet away from me or would I rather do dirty and vile things with myself or just pass on my penis and ass for the night.  It seems like a waste because we have this suite and it has a balcony and a Jacuzzi tub. I have access to chewable viagras, liquid Cialis that my friend Darren has and also some regular Cialis plus marijuana, Jack Daniels, Jaegermeister, Absolut Vodka, three different kinds of Ecstasy tablets also known as MDMA I’m pretty sure, plus some meth and whatever else the crazy mixed up kids around this casino have tucked away in their buttholes and vaginas. I have access to all of those substances and more but I’m not really interested in any of that shit. To tell you the truth, just laying down and going to sleep sounds pretty much like the best idea. That makes me a square and a kook I’m sure but who gives a shit. Anyways that is my Friday night of Memorial Day Weekend and its nice enough that I want to thank God for giving me the tools to live my life one day at a time. Also Happy Birthday to John who is 70 years old yesterday. He would not like me to be more specific than John when mentioning him so Happy Birthday John.

Some cool things I like to do include taking typing tests on the internet and watching videos of chicks fighting.  My penis is about 8 inches and pretty girthy when erect.  Masturbating can be really fun when combined with the insertion of wildlife in your behind.  Genderbending.  That’s a cool concept.  Kink.