Fucking Horny.


 

got such a yearning for some completely ethereal woman goddess to  come steal my soul and force me to worship her.  its like this ache that is more than sexual.  i mean obviously although i have tried to talk to myself into believing that one of the many girls from my past was meant to be my destiny none of them actually were.  that makes me super sad in a way but also really relieved and happy in a way too.  maybe it was all my fault in each and every doomed relationship but so be it man.  whatever the case may have been i was obviously not content enough to conform to the unspoken boundaries that i know and they knew i was confined to. no matter what the reason was for my deliberate hard headed stubborn  way of living the bottom line remains the same.

my destiny woman, if she even exists which i doubt, but i hope, will be a woman who i can throw my whole being into and  who i never have to even care if we are at home or out living in the forest by ourselves or in a big city because she so fully captivates me and i her that the rest of the world ceases to exist in any meaningful way.  the one.  everybody talks about the one.  do they even know what they are saying what they are hoping for what they are dreaming about.

i have had wondrous nights of incredible leave this planet kind of lust filled sexual frenzy tongue in mouth until lips are chapped can’t get enough of her or her of me.  hundreds of those nights with probably a hundred girls.  why couldn’t i sustain that zest that passion that look at her always and be horny in my heart and in my pants?

just give me my soulmate make it clear to me that she is my soulmate and let me fend for myself with her.  i don’t want riches i don’t want fame (well yeah i do unless i get her) just give me the woman of my dreams who is searching for the man of her dreams and when she dreams she sees my face and touches my lips and i hers.  give her to me while i still have time to enjoy her.  i want to experience that great love that rare as fuck love the kind that you don’t talk about cuz its so fucking amazing you don’t even have time to brag or boast all you have time to do is stare at her and miss her when she is gone its not an obsession but you can’t live (happily) without being by her side where a weekend away is pretty traumatic.

i will trade it all for her.

woman if you are out there look for anthony mandich and find him before it is too late.  universe if it is someone i know now let me know.

Letter To My Incarcerated Girlfriend


Dearest Kristen,

Hello my little love monkey ha ha ha.  Just kidding I was going to write you a letter chock full of soupy sappy moronic pet name talk and actually send it to you but seeing that it made me throw up in my mouth a little before I even got past the first line, I decided to forget my evil plot and just write you a more normal letter instead.

I’m sitting in the garage at Heather’s house and smoking a disgusting Marlboro Light and flicking the ashes on the carpeted floor like an asshole and listening to her gay dog Sancho whine to be let out of the gate where Heather and Riley are outside in the driveway saying hi and bye to Shirley who is Heather’s mom and who has come to pick up my daughter Ciara.  Ciara goes to high school right down the street from here at Tustin High School but she lives in Costa Mesa with her grandmonster Shirley.

My daughter made me some lunch today.  It was a bowl of rice with won ton filling stuff on top of it with some soy sauce and wasabi.  The won ton filling stuff was left over from last Sunday when Heather made some won tons when Ciara was over here with her Asian boyfriend Aeneas.  And no (before you ask) I have no idea what kind of Asian parents name their kid Aeneas.  Beats me.

Now I’m heating up some fragrant oils in an oil burner which if you haven’t seen one, looks a lot like the pipes the kids use these days to smoke speed out of.  Crazy youth of today.  They’ve gone wild I tell ya.

So maybe tonight I will take my $40 and go play some poker at the Bicycle Casino in Bell Gardens, California. $40 isn’t much to play poker with to be honest, so there is a good chance I will drive over 30 miles one way and end up being there for only a few short minutes. When you only have one buy in things can go wrong quickly.  I’m a bit of a gambler at heart so I will probably give it a go anyway.

I’ve been thinking a lot about your vagina lately.  In particular I’ve been thinking about the night we stayed on John Chase’s couch on Pueblo (in Cathedral City).  You remember that house right?  Of course you do!  It’s the last place you were as a free woman ha ha!  But do you remember the night that I’m referring to?  I got you some blankets out of my car and tucked you in on the couch.  I was also laying on the couch but at the opposite end.  Ring any bells Kristen?  No?

Well maybe this will refresh your memory.  When nobody else was in the living room and the lights were out I decided to go under the blankets.  When I was under there I pulled off your jeans and your panties.  I threw those in a heap on the floor next to the couch.  Then I proceeded to put my head between your legs.  There I found a wonderful thing.  It was your hairless pussy and even though it was pitch black under those covers which rendered me blind temporarily, I could tell that your pussy was a beautiful prize.  I then opened up this prize that I had been lucky enough to win by spreading your sexy legs and putting my wet tongue inside your hot hole.  It tasted so good and smelled so good that I couldn’t stop licking it and touching your asshole with my fingers.  I kept switching it up, fingers in ass-tongue in pussy then tongue buried in your ass-fingers gently massaging your perfumed clit in a circular motion until before long my face was covered in wet pussy juice.

I kept up a relentless rhythm pussy ass pussy ass pussy ass until after a while I was able to shove my entire inside your ass and french kiss it while your pussy continued to leak all over my face.  After 20 minutes or so I stopped and I could feel your back arching your pussy searching for my tongue.  From then on I let you beg for it the only way you could….by grabbing my head with both of your hands and burying my face between your legs where you held it while you grinded your clit against my face until I thought I was going to drown in an ocean of pussy.  Finally right when I was about to pass out I felt a series of violent shudders and low howl sprang forth from your throat.  Your ass was moving around like a goldfish who is suddenly taken from its bowl and placed on the counter.  You were flopping around so much and my mouth was filled with the sweet nectar of your pussy juice squirting into it.  I plunged my tongue up your ass one last time until you finally quit shaking and twitching and you breathlessly whispered “that was the best fucking orgasm I’ve ever had, thank you Anthony”.  I was like, no problem baby.  Anytime.

I hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane Kristen.  I look forward to a summer full of gratuitous sex with you starting when you are released from the Larry D. Smith Correctional Facility no later then May 21, 2012.

Sincerely,

your boyfriend,  Anthony J. MandichImage

Cleaned the Hovel I call a Room


Today was a topsy turvy crazy kind of a day.  Memorial Day and to be honest I still have not taken even a minute to remember the men and women who have died in support of the political machine i mean quest for more oil i mean fifty united states of america.  Well I threw in (and then used the incredible strikethrough feature on) some rather snide and sarcastic remarks before rallying and pulling “fifty united states of america” out of my asssssssssss.

I’m not really looking to fight that battle to be honest.  I think I just did it to impress my militant punk rock friend and brother Steve Jacobson.  He’s a pretty intensely politically incorrect sorta fella and what not.  Anyways.  Should we bow our heads now in a moment of silence to remember not just the veterans who have died for causes both just and unjust, but also to remember our loved ones who are no longer with us.

They don’t necessarily have to be dead, although thats the usual criteria I suppose.  Perhaps you are a psycho and someone you loved (obsessed, stalked, harrassed) obtained a restraining order against you so they are no longer with you.  Disturbing yes, fits the criteria for moment of silence?  Yes.

Perhaps like me, you were physically removed from a foreign country for overstaying your tourist visa by 716 days.  Its now out of your hands and you are no longer among many people and animals you have grown to love.  That fits too.

I’ve attended the funerals of my sister Natalie Anne Amador (Mandich), two of my much loved Aunts, Monica Monceaux and Nell Monceaux (in the last ten days) and they definitely count.  Aunty Nell’s funeral was today, this morning at St. Ireanaus Catholic Church in the police mecca, Cypress, California.  That was a lovely service.  It was incredible to see some cousins I used to get wasted with as a youth.  The service was presided over by a rather handsome priest Father Mac (i think thats his name).

Father Mac is interesting for a couple reasons other then the fact that he committed my Aunty Nell’s spirit to God.  He’s also the first priest I’ve personally ever seen who looks like Chris Cornell in the early Soundgarden days.   He’s also the first priest I’ve personally ever met who is John Wayne’s grandson.  Thats pretty bad ass actually. He was totally cool and of course for some wierd reason, he sought me out after the funeral  during the reception/lunch to ask me what my story was.  He thought I was either in a band or some kind of an artist.  Bingo.  So yeah anyways….

I saw my daughter Ciara over at my incredibly cool cousin Donna’s house in Anaheim Hills.  Man is she loaded.  They have a radical house, a full  skate park on the property complete with two bowls,  a bunch of ramps and a whole street course set up.  Sick.  And she has an excellent bar.  I turned her on to Caipiroskas.  I’m a bad ass bartender.  We’ll get into some bartender stories later but yeah I rock.  She was in love with them immediately and later when I was kicking my Uncles and Cousins asses at No Limit Texas Holdem (Blinds $1 and $2), she kept hitting me up to make more.  Thats when you know you basically dominate as a bartender by the way.

So I did see my daughter, who I love to death.  I bamboozled my family with poker skills, I shared lots of pics of my art with loads of family at the funeral.  I got to mingle with, chat to, and hug lots of people I love and I sat next to the hottest chick in church.  Actually I sat between two of the hottest chicks because I sat next to Donna, my cousin and this other nectar mama whose name I did not catch but whose arm and dress and sort of leg  I did come in contact with many times.  The sad thing is she must be young because she is my cousin Yvette’s daugher Alyssa’s friend.  But fuck man, she is definitely of legal age and smoking hot.  Yikes.  We hit it off definitely.  She thinks I’m hot definitely.  She thinks I’m cool definitely.  I want to bed her.  Definitely.  Yowza.

What else?  Shit I could go on and on because I am a pontificating wind bag who thinks nobody has anything better to do then read about my life.  Really I have no point in this post or any posts ad infinitum.  Trust me.  You don’t wanna follow me.  Thanks for stopping by today but really just spend your internet time more wisely in the future.  There are plenty of informative and incredibly interesting web sites out there that have the potential to actually enrich and nourish your need for worthy content.  This is not one of them.

God Bless us everyone!  Bye bye.

P.S.  Let me give a shout out to the following cousins, all children of my Aunty Nell, and some of my favorite people on the planet.

Alan Monceaux (wonderful man, balding, yet still ruggedly handsome, suffered a major heart attack at a young age and the telling of that story is frickin fascinating)

Cindy Monceaux (all time favorite cousin, we almost drowned together in Mexico, which is a special bonding moment)

Roseanne Monceaux (also all time favorite cousin, she gave me $40 bucks for a buy in at Hawaiian Gardens Casino when I was broke. I love that woman)

Richard Monceaux (unable to attend funeral but a very bald man who is a very cool cousin of mine.  His son attended in his absence and has a very wierd Pittsburgh accent, but a cool young bucka lucka nonetheless)

Patrice Monceaux (she is married so obviously has another name, I have no idea what that name is.  however her husband is quite cool, and she has two very pretty daughters)

Nadine Monceaux (for some reason I’ve always kinda thought of Nadine as a hippy  (Ish).  She is a lovely very cool and very hot cousin of mine. but yeah i dunno why she reminds me of the beatick  movement in all its glory)

Yvette Monceaux (two lovely daughters and she’s a lovely lady herself.  saw her ex husband today (steve) i haven’t seen him in years. so that was cool.

Ian McCall, MMA fighter and Facebook afficionado