Bitching and Moaning


sexyI am bored out of my gourd.  Tomorrow I won’t be bored because I will be searching for shelter and a friendly face for my daughter and I.  I just can’t be fucked doing anything right now I can’t find the motivation or the energy.  If it is not one thing its another and soon enough my time on this planet is going to be over and what a shitty last few years it has been.  Nothing but fizzled connections, psycho girls, insane highs and soul depleting lows.  God, I want my life to be about more than this.  I try to take comfort in the fact that I have taken on solo parental duties but really and truly I’m not doing the job I could be doing because I just don’t have the resources do it.  One thing has led to another to get me where I am right now and I’m so fucking sick of flailing away.  I sound like a broken record.  My last several posts have been so shitty but the way I’m feeling right now I don’t know if there is ever going to be a new amazing post or story.  I’ve got my bratty but sweet kid pestering the holy living goddamn fuck out of me in this room right now.   Dadddddeeeeeeeeeee, Dadas wanna go on rockabye.  A, S, D, brown back as she is picking at my hair and leaning against me always constantly never ending just climbing and touching and jumping and pulling  on me and patting me and right now she just said Dada dada dada dada dada dada dada dada dada.  Yes its amazing but Jesus Christ I need a fucking break.  We are going right into the crapper because I can’t fucking escape.  I can’t leave the room.  I’ve been stuck with her for days upon days and I am starting to go a little bit nuts.  Pan Pan Pan Pan hold up my  nana my nana dada dada dada my pan pan pan.  You should just see the state of this room right now.  I admit defeat I cannot keep up with this fucking kid.  And here she comes again picking at my hair as I sit on the end of the bed typing this like she is a mamma bear or some shit and then another tight hug and offer for a kiss at least my six thousandth hug of the day while HBO keeps playing the fucking same episode of Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, the Leftovers, Unbroken which is a shitty fucking movie and some other stupid ass shit.  Its either that or never ending NCIS.  I can’t even take my daughter for a walk without a leash on because we are staying on PCH across the street from the beach and there are millions of cars and she has about as much common sense as a two year old.  And here goes the end of another whining pussy ass blog post.  Kill me now.

Heather Nicholson did not overdose as previously reported


I would like to set the record straight.  Last night I reported that a friend of mine, Heather Nicholson, had died a few months back of a drug overdose.  It turns out that I was wrong about that.  My dear friend Amy Schneider informed me that Heather died due to complications from pneumonia and a blood infection and she had been getting her life together when she got sick.  It makes me sad that she didn’t get the chance to fully turn it all around but it also makes me happy that she went out on a positive note.  Rest in Peace Heather Nicholson.

Been Lost for Days


Really……

.lots of details…so many nuances plus subtle underplay

Sublime  its unreal there are things to talk about I need someone who has a care in their heart for me like a friend who passed recently

From this world for sure to where Darin please universal God of supreme intelligence

The one with a plan but are we so many pieces of ash? Probably too inconsequential to worry about. Not important except to ourselves.

Memories fade. In 200 years nobody will say my name. But I won’t know it so that is a blessing. And if I do know it that means we live on and I fight on not as a bug.

Pechanga Casino: I’m So Over You


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Everybody knows you are the shittiest casino.  Even though its general knowledge that you live off of the lifeblood of degenerate gamblers I don’t  think what I’m adding in this article is generally well known.  For one thing they tell you to use your players card every time you play.  Well I’m here to tell you right now that if you do that and you tend to gamble for many hours a day many days in a row and you accumulate 1.1 million tiers in a very short period of time they will lie and say you cheated.  They are liars.  Flat out they are fucking arrogant asshole liars.    You can’t call it slander if it is true.  This is true.  Pechanga security guard rent a dick detectives are lame ass liars with puffed up like a peacock opinions of themselves.  They enjoy making the customers  feel uncomfortable .  If you are tired at Pechanga you better not close your eyes or you will be surrounded by assholes asking you if you are okay and violating your rights left and right.  That sounds awesome as heck.  I’m talking about that little pun about violating your rights left and right.  Oh yeah did I tell you that I’m over you Pechanga?  I’m not even going to tell you how bitter I was (and apparently there is quite a bit o f residual anger as well) but suffice to say I was bitter as fuck when I got unceremoniously defrocked as Pechanga’s celebrity degenerate gambler a couple weeks ago.  Today, as I sit in my suite on the 18th floor of Harrah’s, reveling in my Diamond Status that I achieved in two days, I must admit that I feel a certain sense of redemption in my own head.  Redemption may not be a good word because I don’t think I did anything wrong that I needed to redeem myself for. At least not in the eyes of Pechanga because the dick tater ship that makes up their keystone cop detective dickhead force have zero credulity with anyone.  Rich or poor, gambler or recreational joker, black or white, its universal knowledge that FUCK you Pechanga.  LOL!  HOw about that?  Suck my fat one you cheap dime store hood! That’s from STand by Me and booting me out was the biggest favor you ever did for me believe that.  I was mesmerized by Indian voodoo and bought into the promise that is not even real.  The promise that you are treasured and we really care about you individual gambler.  Fuck that.  YOu should see what the reasons they are giving for booting people out for life from that shit hole.  How about parking in the red card parking lot when you aren’t a red card?  I know someone banned for life for that.  Countless people have been sent packing for life for talking to someone who was found to be in possession of any drugs.  I know I sound like a fucking moron but I can’t help it because I fucking hate those Motherless soulless Nazi  Indian motherfuckers.  They Lie Cheat and Steal and rob motherfuckers blind and they tried to say that it was ME that is the fraudulent fucking cheater.  Fuck you Pechanga.  Honestly you are so going to have to deal with the nuisance that I am going to create for you on every single possible review board or anything public that I can link to you and get you negative publicity.  Because you deserve if you fucking bastards.  Detective John and that baldheaded moron that is Cantalopian or some shit like that who works at nights and mad dogs everybody and especially that black dude who is the biggest fucking asshole wanna be dickhead fucking asshole rude bitch ass piece of scowling shit I have ever seen in my life.  Going up to people who have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in your money tree soul pit dank slice of hell casino and  who are sitting in the high limits room and NOT feeding hundred dollar bill after hundred dollar bill in the fucking slots machines thief ass cheating slots for more than one fucking minute straight and telling them if they are not going to be playing that they have to take their shows on the road out the door to the skid row section of the casino.  Can you imagine that?  I have witnessed it dozens of times its such as farce.  They are rude offensive ignorant arrogant falsely entitled assholes and they can fuck right off.  Black man and cantaloupe man and detective john you guys are the worst of the worst and literally I hope you all die today.  Because you suck and you couldn’t give a fuck less what effects you are having on the lives of the people that you make up lies about at the direction of your white man hating Indian bosses.  Straight the fuck up.  Fuck you Pechanga.  I hope this sounds like a rant and the ravings of a mad man.   I might as well live up to some semblance of the negative self image you attempted to fabricate for me and make me emulate through your deceitful faggotry.  LOL.  Even though I hate you and I wish nothing but the failure of your business and the cancer of your security staff still I have to forgive you at the end of the day.  What is the point of hating an entity without a soul and completely devoid of a conscience or anything remotely resembling good things?  There is not a point.  I am so angry at them and I mean really angry.  I gave up so many things that I should have never given up to begin with and they fucked me under and made me look even worse than I already looked to important people in my life because they made all those days and days and days and nights endless nights and millions of pushes of those buttons and stress beyond belief all for nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Ended up with nothing for my 1.1 million tier points.  How do I explain that to my daughter?  I don’t.  I cant.  fuck you Pechanga.  for that fuck you.  but hey good luck in your future endeavours.  I probably won’t even bother wasting any more energy writing to you and about you.  But deep down you fucking suck and I fucking hate you.

Cootch Tobacco and the Red Hybrid Earthworm


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Now that is a catchy title if I’ve ever heard one. I’m just sitting here again in my room because I am one broke donkey boy at the minute. Actually I do have twenty dollars I think. But yeah for the most part I am broke. The cootch tobacco story isn’t that interesting either to be honest with you. Quickly…..Clarice who is Avondra’s mother and a huge pain in my ass, bummed a cigarette off of Georgie earlier in my room when we were having dinner and learning the intricacies of Georgie’s latest hustle, selling farm raised earthworms to fishermen and farmers and people who love gardening and thus also love soil which is enhanced greatly by the cast off from worms. I consider Georgie to be my brother in law despite the fact that he was never legally married to my sister Louisa. She never actually divorced her husband Smithy before she died so legally she never became Georgie’s wife. Despite that fact and the fact that the rest of my family apart from myself loathe Georgie. They despise him. Ha ha ha. I just like to rub it in that’s why I am repeating it and stressing this aspect. In a way, I think by stressing the dislike he feels from the rest of the family it makes him more likely to seek my approval in all things so naturally I will still like him and he won’t feel like such a pariah when it comes to thinking about my dead sister Louisa. It’s a whole urban white guilt thing slash reparation for his great great great grandfather allegedly being a slave owner slash reparation for his great great great grand uncle Josiah allegedly being an avid Indian fighter and killer slash reparation for whatever part he may have played in my sister deciding to end her life and jumping off of the Old Talahassee Bridge back in 2006 after seeing the movie Ode To Billy Joe one morning while under the influence of red wine and valium. So I haven’t even seen Georgie since our last caper together a couple of years before when he had the grand idea of taking out all of the copper wire and piping in the granny shack located on the property owned by his granny. The stupid thing that he didn’t tell me as we were stripping away was that his granny’s sister’ s son Tonito lived in the granny shack with his dog Alpo and seventeen kittens. I think the total tally for that caper was $158.34 received (after a 3 day hold initiated by the recycling company) and $1834 owed for repairs to the shack. Before we were even able to receive the lousy $158.34 we had already gotten a bill from his granny’s plumber and electrician as well as caning from his grandmother and our names and pictures posted in the local rag under the headline Wanted With Or Without A Brain. Suffice to say that I thought Georgie was a misguided fuckup for the most part but still a good soul for some reason. I had personally never held him responsible for any of his supposed misdeeds related to his relationship with Louisa. I think a good portion of my empathy for Georgie in this regard is because I grew up with Louisa and I knew only all too well what she was really all about at times. That’s not meant to dishonor the dead in any way and I miss her terribly to this very day but trust me it takes two to tango and Louisa danced the best tango in the Inland Empire if you ask me. She fought like a man, cussed like a sailor, fucked like a beast, smoked crack like Darryl Strawberry and packed the rare combination of a great uppercut and the sharpest tongue I have ever heard, will ever hear, and whatever other dramatic proclamation I can come up with really quickly, under pressure which is none. So I give Georgie the benefit of the doubt on Louisa and keep him close to my heart because I know she wants it that way. Anyways he ended up going to jail over that copper mining incident and I hadn’t seen him since Clarice was maybe 2 months pregnant and our kid Avondra is already two years old so that was a long time ago.

When you are reading these types of introductions to what seem like they are going to be really long drawn out stories and it turns out that the introduction ends up being the longest and most detailed part of the story does that make you mad or does it in reality make you kind of relieved? I’m thinking it should be relieved because I am opening up so many different avenues of thought that if I were to follow each part of the thread to its ultimate conclusion then I would be working on this fucking manuscript as my full time job for the rest of my life.

Dammit….where was I? Oh yeah the cootch tobacco and Georgie’s earthworms. First of all let’s clarify that these are red hybrid earthworms and not the ordinary angleworms most of you have probably seen writhing on your sidewalk after a rain and then drying up and shriveling up when the Africa hot sun comes out twenty minutes later. To make a long story short, with just a modest investment and a little ingenuity and faith and patience it can be a real boost to a man’s wallet this raising of red hybrid earthworms. Also they are a lively and hardy creature, much smarter than angleworms and a prized and much sought after addition to anyone interested in soil that is rich in phosphorus, nitrogen and all of the other ingredients necessary to grow vegetables and flowers and whatever else. And the profit margin when making sales to fishermen is something like a multiple of 17.5 or something in that range. In other words only limited by the literal number of unique fishermen you ship and sell to. Georgie had me in mind for a possible partnership and I also think he wanted to come visit me and hug on me for a while as well as see my kid, smoke some dope, do some casino gambling and show off his girlfriend who far outshines his past two, both of them very nice girls but a little on the thick side and a little on the crazy side.   Enough time had passed since Louisa’s death I guess, that Georgie felt he didn’t have to be so respectful and could start dating some good looking pussy. So it was a combination of all this shit that brought Georgie out my way tonight and now lets get to the cootch tobacco which is simply that Clarice bummed a cigarette off of Georgie and ended up leaving it sitting on the bed when she snuck out into the hallway to casually eavesdrop on my conversation with Paula, a dental hygienist from Pasadena with big boobs who had a bit of a crush on me. By leaving her cigarette alone in front of Avondra she was tempting fate because she didn’t realize that I had been training Avondra in the fine art of cigarette shredding since the tender age of six months. It just so happened that Avondra had just gotten out of the bathtub and was standing next to the bed in her birthday suit, still a little damp, when Clarice started her recon mission down the 7th floor hallway to see what dirt she could get on me which is actually none because Paula is a married woman who just wanted to be friends with a good looking bad boy rebel and maybe more than friends but only in her mind. When we returned to the room after I had quickly caught on to Clarice and her shoddy surveillance techniques and put an immediate end to the operation by asking her just what the fuck she was doing standing so close to me in her ninja outfit from last Halloween holding a personal recording device, the type made so famous by President Nixon during the scandal and uproar caused by whatever the hell he did to those people at the Watergate Hotel way back when. I wish I knew more about that story too but I didn’t know more than the rest of the population who were given the basic facts which are:   several bad guys posing as gay democrats in town for a rainbow coalition flag raising event and wine tasting at the Watergate Hotel who slipped several roofies and hits of acid to some real conventioneers causing them to have a bad trip and pass out naked on the lawn of the white house which initially was reported as the irresponsible and disrespectful antics of the democrats, the lame duck party in both houses who were apparently so attention starved that they were desperate for interaction and recognition from the press that they got out of control. Anyways it turned out of course that the persons responsible for all of the mayhem were actually Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon, his wife Pat, and several of his frat brothers from his time spent at Rutgers University in the Sigma Smegma Nu fraternity. Apparently some porn was filmed that portrayed Mrs. Nixon in a decidedly non female light and she used her considerable powers as the first lady to get the video footage from the night redacted by several minutes thus cutting out the humiliating gender bending episode. This all led to Mr. Nixon being forced to resign the presidency and made black pajamas all the rage for several years except for certain parts of South East Asia like Vietnam and Cambodia.

Anyhow so we went back into the room noticed the shredded tobacco that was extremely easy to see on the blinding white bed spread in the hotel room. Not sure if Avondra shredded that ciggy while laying on the bed or not but apparently from what I heard from Clarice, Avondra had somehow gotten approximately.0000000000000001 lbs. of tobacco in between her toes and very close to touching more private areas which led Clarice to exclaim, “Avondra, WHAT the hell ARE you doing and what have YOU done, why did you have to shred that smoke and make that tobacco stick to your cootch?” This led me to coin the phrase “cootch tobacco” but in reality I don’t even think its that great of a phrase to be honest and its inclusion here tonight only serve to illustrate the point that I’m actually pretty fast even though I never even got to show my skills in raising crazy, motherless children of motherless children.   I seriously hope that you take the time to get to know this story and if you can, maybe you can come up with an alternate ending to at least this one episode which it makes it that much more interesting than the shameless way I went after ratings when I made my cootch tobacco reference. May the good Lord forgive me and all of the other sinners for being so dumb and boring and incredibly self deprecating lol..

Talk about a tale about nothing. For fucks sweet sake man.

The Sound of Birds Squawking Loudly In the Background


seagullAvondra is asleep right now and I’m sitting here in the dark. I have been on some website where they have people racing against each other to see who can type various paragraphs the fastest. Usually you go up against 4 or 5 people and wait to get the green light before you all start at the same time and just type until you have finished whatever crappy yet profound pearl of literature they have put there for you.   Just so you can get a little idea what I’m talking about say for example you had to type the first stanza or so of a dirty joke like:  Hickory dickory dock This bitch was suckin my cock The clock struck two I dumped my goo And dumped her to the end of the block. And whatever idiosyncrasies that existed in the original literature have to be replicated on this test which makes it super bullshittish when you get into something like what I just used as an example with the capital T of This bitch right in the middle of the sentence or leaving off the g in the word sucking to give it more street credibility. Shit like that. Anyways I’ve done something like exactly 111 of these these races with an average time of 56 words per minute, a record time of 77 words per minute and I’ve flat out won 34 times out of 111 tries. I’m not making a judgment about whether I rule as typist of suck hard I’m just passing the mundane details of what’s going on right now over to you since some of you fucking people seem to relish reading mundanity. Whatever floats your boat. By the way if this sounds like drudgery defined that’s because it is and I hate myself a lot of the time and feel the need to punish myself for doing some stupid fucking things like collecting $1,900 in a twelve hour period through means both nefarious and honorable and then pissing away each and every dollar on a slot machine I never play especially in the dollar slots and in fact I’ve had some horrific experiences with even on the penny machine level while playing at the Fantasy Springs Casino in Indio by my mom’s trailer park. So what possessed me to sit there and fuck off nearly two grand on this stupid shit is beyond me. All I know is that I have to make myself suffer because of it which is the reason why I was entering typing races in the middle of the afternoon in the dark in my hotel room while my daughter Avondra slept and both of us listened to the sounds of waves crashing and seagulls squawking and presumably fucking, fighting and dying which is the way of the world is it not?

The Trench Connection


Sitting here with my heart racing, trying to figure out what to do.  What is the right thing to do?  Why do I seem to gravitate to the wrong thing usually?  Why didn’t I go to my brother Rafael’s wedding this past weekend?  Why am I always such a horny man?  Why am I asking all these stupid questions right now when I could be downstairs pumping more money into the Aztec Temple machine that has been plaguing my existence.   Technically I am not even a guest of the hotel right now because I had to check out or face the wrath of a v.p. who is a stickler on the residency rules of hotels. Apparently if you stay for more than something like 30 days straight then you have a case for being a tenant rather than a guest and tenants obviously are accorded many more rights than guests.  Its an important distinction if they are trying to evict you because you can file an answer with the courts in an eviction proceeding and you can stave off hitting the streets through various delaying tactics and frivolous motions to appeal and stuff.  Hotels don’t want to deal with this sort of shit so this particular hotel has rules that I have been pushing the boundaries of for quite a while now.   Right now its really just a technicality because the requirement to check out has been easily flouted simply by having my friend who has a bunch of free stays given to her each month book a room for me.  That’s what she did last night so I’m good to go for another three days of life.

This place is unbelievably toxic by the way.  Everyone has an agenda and its all just a bunch of individuals with their own agendas for sure at this place.  Whether you are a high roller a low roller a non roller a worker a security guard an indian a host a bartender a cocktail waitress or a valet parker you have a role to fill and you fit in a certain slot.  But you definitely are not doing anything for any altruistic reasons like for the good of mankind or to keep the environment in a green state.

Let’s go over the agendas of the various people who make up your typical casino, at least as far as I see it which is probably a very limited perspective to be sure and I will definitely be making a lot of silly assumptions based on stereotypes which are not accurate but make my job of providing a description much easier. People really do operate from ignorant and inaccurate viewpoints so it will not be that much of a stretch to make my assumptions into some kind of reality that you can deal with mentally and pretty soon you will just start accepting whatever I write as the gospel truth. Which is what I need. Hahaha. I’m gonna go downstairs and gamble for a bit and I will really be ready to do this shit in a few minutes okay.

Okay so you have the losers with absolutely no life and no job and no way of making money and no home and no car and no personality and no nothing but a sick zombie like fascination with doing speed and shuffling around the casino with a glazed out dead eyed 1000 yard stare. I don’t think that they themselves even know what the fuck they are doing there. They don’t talk to anyone, they don’t come with any money, they are dirty as hell like they live in the field next door to the casino and guess what come to find out that there is a whole subculture civilization of zombie scumbag skinhead methhead white trash loser pieces of shit criminals that do actually live in the field by the casino with the coyotes and squirrels and stuff. They camp out there and fuck their bohemian skank dog sluts with hairy arm pits and picked faces in the dirt and whole groups of them make their way over to the casino at like 3 a.m.

They are so obviously out of place in the casino and anywhere else for that matter except for the mental hospitals and jails where they end up. I know I should feel some sort of pity for these losers especially since I am a loser myself but for some reason I am a stuck up loser so I don’t feel sorry for them I want them to die. Anyways these people are considered among the lowest of the casino low and that is a subcategory of scum that I would say don’t even meet the basic definition of a human being for the most part. They are the ones smoking half cigarettes they find in the streets and grabbing half eaten hamburgers from the food court trash cans. If they play any casino games at all I would say the only thing you will see them playing is penny machines, a penny a spin, often beginning with an opening bankroll of 12 cents or 18 cents. Their ceiling in the casino hierarchy is not very high and one of these fuckwads would be considered a huge success among their peers if they make it to skid row where the nickel Cleopatra keno machines are. They don’t talk much except in convoluted, unintelligible bursts of venom or completely irrelevant sing song bullshit. If you happen to come across one of these meat men it is best to make the sign of the cross while praying to Jesus that they don’t notice you.

It is not too hard to avoid contact with them for the most part as long as you never meet their eyes or frequent the areas of the casino where they are known to congregate. Which is basically everywhere you can smoke cigarettes that doesn’t have a bunch of casino security hovering. Hopefully if they do see you and God forbid actually attempt making contact with you via a scaly diseased hand reaching out and grabbing your person in any way you can easily sidestep them, grabbing your phone out of your pocket quickly and “answer” it, and then give them a look that gloats, “sorry I am on a phone call” when they start grunting out the rudimentary clicks and clacks they call a language. There is one drawback to grabbing your phone out of your pocket and pretending to be on a call though however.   By doing this maneuver you are admitting that you actually have a phone that works on your person which opens you up to the most toxic of all casino dwellers attacks…the emergency phone call request.Fat stacks of Fat cash I never loan my phone out at the casino or anywhere else for that matter. Casual phone loaning is the number one cause of phone theft in North America according to a survey I once read. Its totally true though. These fucking people who need to use your phone are the worst of the worst in my opinion. Their pressing need to use a phone is always fucking bullshit since they don’t even know anybody that is willing to help them anyway and they really have nothing ever to really say to anyone they reach. It’s a toxic waste of time and you have to be ever so careful especially on a busy night at the casino because these motherfuckers will dip the fuck out with your phone faster than you can say stop you piece of shit.

I guess I am sort of drifting away from the point of this whole story as I intended to write it up. Which is okay with me really because I like being a douche bag writer.

Shut the Fuck up Dog. This is a No Dog Hotel don’t you kNow.


Damn doggy you are certainly going to have to shut the fuck up if you wanna go on living son (saying this to a girl dog by the way).  That’s me yelling at the little puppy who is going bat shit crazy because Avondra and Clarice are going down to the pool which is on the 3rd floor by the way.  We were all having a union/reunion of sorts just a second or so ago.  You see I was downstairs gambling when I got a text message from Clarice stating that she was ready to perform a certain very taboo sexual act on me now.  Before you start getting any lewd ideas let me clarify that the act we are talking about is not illegal, and is not morally repugnant, and is in no way anything bad.  Just crazy.  Anyways that text was enough to get me off of the machine and started up the path to the elevator.  Upon arrival I had to go ahead and knock on my very good friend Boberto’s door as he is just situated across the hall from me conveniently enough and strangely enough.  Total coincidence seriously that he is in 7158 and I am in 7157.  Anyway everybody was in a bit of disarray with Lissa Giles appearing out of nowhere on the scene, Avondra and Clarice were suddenly planning on going to the pool instead of Avondra going to bed and Clarice taking me into the bathroom for a quick game of Sexual Chocolate.  The hallway of the hotel was jam packed with people and a small canine.  As I type this I have Lissa Giles babbling to me about this chick who is saving clean urine for drug tests or something like that and the dog is fucking whining and the chick is this girl that I actually know named Hollandia and she is a crazy bitch but a nice girl kinda but crazy and Lissa who is a bit nuts herself but in a good way is now lecturing Hollandia via a diatribe to me.  She is very convincing although to the wrong party.  Anyways, its nice that Lissa Giles is cleaning up our hotel room right now because Clarice is a lazy woman or maybe not lazy but definitely is not the best cleaner in the world.  I ran Avondra and the dog up and down the hallway a few times to get them both a bit tired out so they can go to bed early.  I also found out that Frank, my Viagra buying friend actually invented something real some kind of a chip to track pets.  He is also a veterinarian.  That’s pretty cool that he is so high on the totem pole of life because earlier today he told me that our relationship is a symbiotic one.  That was quite a compliment coming from Frank especially in light of the toxic environment where we have started forging our friendship.  People at the casino are pretty much interested in themselves and money and everything else flows from that essential truth.  Therefore symbiosis is an unnatural state for this place and a testament to the strong moral fabric which binds Frank and I together .  Wow what a load of shit.  Just the last part .  Have a good night.   Or whatever.  Parasites.dog lips

Richard Bultsma


It just so happens that I have started writing again only recently or this post would have been handled during the Thanksgiving 2014 holiday when shit went down.  This is not the first dead friend I have written about and unfortunately unless I am the next one to go, it won’t be the last.  Shit happens and people die and that is the way of the world.  Well in the macro view of the world it is pretty easy to say something like that and mean it.  People don’t live in the macro world for the most part though so every statistic be it suicide, murder, accidental death, cancer, overdose, natural causes whatever it may be is somebody’s father, mother, sister, brother, grandfather, grandmother, aunt, uncle you get the idea.  People in this world usually make some kind of a mark while they are alive and their sudden absence from the world of light is noted and felt by those upon whom this mark was made.  Try saying that shit ten times as fast as you can.

One of the sad facts of life is that the older you get the more people you watch die.  What a world it would be to have zero contemporaries left.  Talking about an old old geezer here, one who has outlived his generation, all of his friends and family and all of the important people that have made a mark on him are gone.  Sad moment to face that for sure.  The day that everybody you see is a stranger.  That’s some deep fucked up shit really.  I’m not any different than anyone else and I’ve had the misfortune to lose quite a lot of people that I cared a great deal about.  Well as great a deal as a self centered nitwit like myself can care.  Which is a lot.

Richie Bultsma was definitely one of the people I cared about and it was my extreme misfortune to read about his death by suicide sometime about thanksgiving of 2014.  It really blew my mind actually because I just wasn’t ever expecting anything like that.  Rich was a dude who had extreme mental strength.  He was somebody who always managed to keep it cool no matter what was going on around him.  Really the words cool and Richie Bultsma were interchangeable.

I remember Richie turned me on to my favorite bands of all times.  He literally did. The Queers, The Humpers, The Supersuckers, The Dwarves, The Action Swingers, The Lazy Cowgirls.  These are bands that are legend in my life.  I’ve seen these bands hundreds of times.  I’ve even seen the Dwarves two nights in a row in Melbourne, Australia at the Ding Dong Club.  That alone counts for so much to me when I think about the hundreds of thousands of hours I have spent engaging with the bands that I learned about from Richie it trips me out.  He was a busy dude yet he took the time to make me cassette tapes of all of them and this was at a time when cassettes were what you used.

I don’t know why he died  and I am pretty sure that if he knew how many people missed him and went to his funeral and continue to write about him on Facebook and just the overwhelming anguish felt by so many that he is gone maybe he would have found the strength and purpose to work his shit out while still with us.

Richie my friend I could write so much more but the slots are calling me and my daughter is waking up so I am going to have to continue this later okay buddy.10398577_59036424068_5475256_n

forward….into battle


So this morning at 11a.m. I woke to the sound of my laptop playing some weird sports video or something.  Like it was basically background noise of a crowd and I knew it had been playing for quite some time because the general din shaped my dreams and for a moment I couldn’t tell whether I was in heaven or hell. The messy tore back shape my room was in with honey roasted peanuts trampled into the carpet as well as at least one grape jelly packet, one ketchup packet and what appeared to be a peanut butter cookie at first only served to augment the belief that I had woken up in hell.

I had to take a piss and I yawned and stretched and swung myself off the bed and began ambling slowly toward the private toilet within the bathroom which is a feature in all deluxe rooms at the Indian casino I had been attempting to outwit for several years.  Curled up in a ball amidst all the carnage was my daughter Avondra with her ba ba perched an inch away from her mouth and her tea cup chihuahua nestled in her mullet hairdo.  Also present was her grimy blanket. It was rolled up in a ball as usual.

Side note:: it really is true that babies get attached to little grimy disgusting blankets.

Anyhow I saw that Avondra had gotten into my wallet and strewn the contents everywhere, an old trick from when we used to have our own house in Valencia.  It always did my heart good to see my shit tossed haphazardly around the place and I usually showed my pleasure at my bubble headed daughters antics by screaming obsenities cheerfully  while dancing like a monkey.  Today was no different.  I was really on my way to starting my day off about as badly as I could imagine as it was and then I picked up my phone and saw a message from my casino hostess Roseangelica with a cryptic 5 word message: You need to call me.  This was in place of the usual good morning I extended your room for three days text I usually got from her on days where I was scheduled to check out.

Fearing the worst and actually knowing in your heart that the worst case scenario was a reality feel much the same way.  “You have to checkout” the words flew out of her mouth to which I responded with an unseen facegrab and simultaneous groan of misery upon looking around at the tornado stricken disaster that used to be room 8126.  Clarice was an unconscious lump in the bed, it was already checkout time, I had no money, we hadn’t packed even one item, we had nowhere to go and we weren’t even close to getting along well and that is under some really favorable conditions.  Throw in any one of life’s myriad challenges to our toxic togetherness and you have all the makings of a kick ass party lol.  Well maybe not.  Hahahahaha.

Fortune favors the bold or so I have been told. Just saying.  Well five minutes later when I had just been told that she loved this dirt bag’s cock she fucked several times  and that I sucked in bed and I was a small dicked faggot to boot I had second thoughts on whether I had overdone it on the boldness thing when I ripped the covers off of her while screaming, “reveille reveille all hands on deck” at the top of my lungs.

Small dicked faggots don’t have thick 8 inch cocks like I did but compared to the horse cocked freaks she had been fucking since getting started on her “sexual rampage” a couple weeks back I was hung like a church mouse.  It probably felt like I was tossing a hotdog down a hallway to her when I had gotten my groove on the night before.  Regardless of the fact that she might be the only girl I have ever fucked that thought i had a small dick I was pretty dismayed by her comment.

Things quickly spiraled out of control and ended with both of us looking at each other with daggers in our eyes.  Her look told me she was going to be getting stuffed full of loser dick as soon as she got back into Valencia and not just by one dude.  Anything to twist the knife in that much deeper.  Only a true sap gets sad over a whore and my hurt feeling (yeah that one feeling) quickly repaired itself and now I hope she gets fucked by a busload of sailors freshly back from18 months at sea.  That is not false bravado either.  Damaged goods are damaged goods and she is not conducive to my gaming lifestyle so au revoire Clarice.

I’m sitting at the high limits bar penniless at the moment but I’ve got a few logs in the fire.  And even though I had to check out for one day I will pick myself up lick my wounded pride and start a fresh adventure.  Spring is in the air and hope springs eternal.

Sitting on top of the shit pile


Dissolved a viagra chewable on my tongue about two hours ago so I could walk around the casino floor with a pocket full of cock. Its the next best thing after cash to be carrying around and is a general salve for my wounded psyche.  Clarice and Avondra ended up at my proverbial doorstep yesterday which was just lovely as you can probably imagine.  Avondra is such a cute little demon child that it is impossible to stay mad after she wreaks havoc on a hotel room with reckless abandon and innocent child like fervor.

Is there such a thing as innocent child like fervor? I fucking doubt it.  Whatever the case may be, Avondra can fuck some shit up to a horrifying level so fast it makes it look like you just got victimized by a gang of home invasion robbers.  Then I got her mother, Clarice, who I seem to be neck and neck with in our toxic, destructively mind shattering race to nail down the Most Promiscuous Whore of 2015 Award.  Something is wrong with us.  Not because we fuck so indiscriminately but because we come back to the same “relationship” table time after time where we both attempt to defend and rationalize behavior that is not going to be viewed kindly by each other, a judge hahahaha or future readers of this prolific account of our comings and goings.

Suffice to say there has been a fair bit of angry words and hurt brains and wounded pride since she got here.  Of course I tell myself that gambling with anger and resentment inside my soul is not the reason why I keep busting out to the zero dollar level but in my heart I know the truth.  Something has got to give soon because this lifestyle is going to be impossible to sustain for much longer.

Skip Muirhead (Alfred Leslie Muirhead)


Alfred Leslie Muirhead is a friend of mine from Corona, California.  I didn’t actually know his name was Alfred until last night (April 30, 2014) when my friend Dave Colgin told me that Skippy Muirhead had died a few years earlier.  i was shocked to hear that Alfred Leslie had passed away.  Skip was a pretty cool friend and we always got along pretty well.  My wife Briar met Skip when she lived in California back in 2009.  Skip hooked us up with some illicit substances which turned out to be bunk but it wasn’t really his fault and he made it good.  Skip was a hustler for sure but a cool guy and I had known him since I was about 14 when I met him down by the Showcase Theater in Corona, California.  This was when the Showcase was still a movie theater.  Dave told me that Skip died from toxemia due to using dirty needles.  I don’t know if this is true since I wasn’t aware that he used intravenous drugs but its not really that much of a reach considering what I did know about Skip.  I’m sorry to hear that he died though and I  hope he is having a good time up there with Natalie Amador, Rick Minihan and Dennis Ducarte. 

For Some Reason Lake Elsinore Is Home To A Bunch Of Pussies


I haven’t written the great American novel.  I haven’t written any novels at all.  I’m too fucking scatter brained, unfocused, lazy, tragically unprepared and apathetic to get really serious about writing a book.  Plus my girlfriend smashed my brand new HP Pavilion laptop back in September of last year.  That put a real damper on my cam4 career as well as any true aspirations of becoming a writer of note.  My blog was really cool or so I thought but after the whole Aaron Jacob Parsons situation unfolded I kind of grew lazy about blogging too.  For a guy with just a wordpress.com blog, I felt like maybe I had reached the pinnacle of my internet glory when I got over 12,000 hits in a day, and all the major sites like Liveleak, Reddit, 4chan, youtube showed the video and also had links to my post. 

I wasn’t going to beat that story with my usual fodder thats for sure.  Suddenly, “the hottest ass”, “catholic school hotties”  and “everything you ever wanted to know about anthony mandich” just didn’t seem like it was going to grab the readers by the throat and hold their interest.  It was too depressing to think about going back to 100 hits a day on a good day and I met this chick named Christina, got caught up in her life, realized how shitty and basically unlivable my own life was and just didn’t have time for blogging anymore.  There’s no money in it for me that’s for sure.  I’m not smart enough to figure out SEO techniques. Hell, I couldn’t even afford to renew krashthrills.com after the initial one year period, forcing me back to a free wordpress.com account.  Lame.

You wanna know what’s also lame?  I remember back when I was getting hot and heavy about writing posts all the time a couple of years ago how I always thought it was a shame that I was too much of a pussy to really get real about my life and say shit like it is.  I would think of the people in my life who would read with horror what life is really like on the streets when you don’t got shit and how they would be so ashamed of me if they knew the kind of life I was living.  Well it’s even worse today.  There are people, plenty of them, who are haters and who would love to have the kind of dirt on me that I wish I had the balls to provide for them.  Unfortunately I am not going to be able to do that and I apologize.  I have a job today and I am looking for a better one and I know for a fact that employers look at the internet lives of the people that they are considering hiring and they certainly don’t want to read about how their newest senior accountant just spent the last 70 hours straight at the casino playing Cleopatra Keno instead of resting up and preparing himself mentally for the KPMG audit he has to provide support for starting Monday.  That shit doesn’t fly. 

I wanna tell you why Lake Elsinore is home to a bunch of pussies anyway.  And I will.  But it’s 1:41 p.m. and my lunch hour is over.  I have packing slips I need to match up with invoices and checks to write and spreadsheets to update before 4:00 p.m. when my real day begins.

 

 

 

Some things have changed. Most things never will.


ImageImage

Who wants to give this very good looking young man a good job?  I was recently laid off from my position as Accounting MANAGER for Alta Home Care after only a short stint.  I was shocked the day that Chris Newton, the CFO came into my office and told me that I was being eliminated due to so arbitrary revenue shortfalls that had nothing whatsoever to do with me.

I’m still pretty upset about the whole thing.  I had a nice savings going in only a very short time, thanks in large part to Stephanie Kelly, my best friend in the whole world helping me out quite a bit.  Well that is history.  The only thing I got out of the experience is some much needed confidence that I really don’t have much of a problem handling the complexity or amount of work that comes with a position of high responsibility for a company, such as Accounting Manager. 

I also proved to myself that I can dedicate myself to a position, get to work every day on time and stay later than expected without complaint, and exceed expectations in all areas including how I dress for work.  I’m proud of my efforts and really was quite hurt by the layoff.  Its time to stop beating myself up over something that I really had no control over.  I’m going to just dust myself off and put myself back out there, and hope that I can come across another opportunity to shine. 

 

Mandich, Anthony: He’s back, he’s black and he’s not taking any flack.


Image

This is the first post since I didn’t pay my web site hosting fees back in March, 2013 out of nothing but laziness.  The fees were something amazingly ridiculously low, I wanna say $18, regardless though they were funny.  I didn’t pay them and I actually thought I was going to lose the whole website which would have been pretty terrible in my opinion since I have spent many hundreds of hours on this shitty blog  typing away like a moron.  Anyway krashthrills.com is now krashthrills.wordpress.com which is in a way quite good  to know because that means if I died and the domain name I had expired, all of my content would eventually revert back to the wordpress.com site and that is awesome.  

I have so many things to share with you guys.  It has been one hell of a doozie of a year for sure.  I can’t wait to tell the story of a fat piece of shit named Jim Schwarz.  We will get to that in due time though kiddies.  

 

2013 AND BEYOND BY ANTHONY MANDICH


It’s been quite a while since I’ve updated my website.  During that time I’ve lost all of my readers I’m sure.  My goal for 2013 is to update this shit a lot more with a lot more juicy ass stories and crazy shit.  To all the girls I’ve loved before I want to bid a fond farewell to you all.  My current girlfriend and I are going to be having a baby together on April 2nd, 2013 and I am reasonably sure I am going to get married to this chick.  She’s hot and young and all that stuff so what the fuck….not to mention that I love her.  That’s important too.

Jynx Maze Loves Anal as Much as a Fat Kid loves Cake


Jynx Maze Loves Anal as Much as a Fat Kid loves Cake

It’s hard to imagine a young girl so dedicated to her craft that she practices day after day, cock after cock to perfect her budding anal talent.  Well folks, you have met your match in this regard if you have ever stumbled across the wonderful theatrical acting talent Jynx Maze in any of your masturbatory meanderings through the wonderful world of legal internet porn, porn for men who like women, rather then any other repugnant and often illegal side show category relating to the eternal quest to bust that nut.  

 

Call me a sick perverted bastard.  Go ahead.  It will just give me cause to chuckle.  Honestly, in the true hearts of a majority of the worlds population, at least of a few of those beats are for this beautiful and sexy and enthusiastic woman, Jynx Maze.  They carry those beats in their heart and some men may go through their entire life never realizing what that dull ache of unrequited lust/love/desire that forces them awake at 4:03 or 3:12 or 5:46, panting, confused…hard as a rock.  

 

Guys, I’m here to tell you this little sexual dynamo with the heart of gold is the real mccoy and I for one wish her nothing but the best and only implore her, as a fan, to take care of that sweet little ass.  Protect that little thing from all harm.  

 

Enjoy her boys…..

Sexy hooker Jynx Maze


Sexy hooker Jynx Maze

She’s a hot bitch with a great ass 

Miss Maze seems to be a very well behaved young Christian girl .  God Bless her!

Stupid Shit You Did When You Were Younger (4chan)


Image

More crazy shit from /b/ that they didn’t archive so I did.

TT, stupid shit you did when you were younger.

>Be in 7th grade
>Make cancer joke
>Kid’s mom just died of cancer, had no idea
>”Anon, what the fuck is your problem, you asshole?”
>”Sorry, I didn’t know!”
>Kid leaves class, crying
>Look like a total douche

Can’t remember any other specific situations atm, but I did WAY faggier things when I was younger, I was such a faggot, words cannot describe. I grew out of it, but I cringe thinking back on it.

>>

 Anonymous 

Hmmm….
>be in 7th grade
>homeroom teacher starts talking about a graveyard full of dead soldiers
>laugh my ass off
>teacher singles me out
>feel terrible for the rest of my life

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ZI/RKYyo) 10/02/12(Tue)21:00:38 No.428433638

Replies:>>428485437

Protip for coping with these memories: you’re the only one who has them.
Nobody else will remember those things at all.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: dA4pra/N) 10/02/12(Tue)21:04:45 No.428434201

Replies:>>428462318

>Be in 7th grade
>Become an evangelical Christian

Not even making that shit up.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: OiolQUW7) 10/02/12(Tue)21:09:41 No.428434881

Replies: >>428438730 >>428439301 >>428446381 >>428465339 >>428475291>>428488932 >>428495273 >>428495772

>last day of school
>theme day, so we dress as vikings
>go to beach to get drunk with friends
>decide it would be cool to burn our books on a bonfire
>light fire
>no fire control
>ohshit.jpg
>blaze begins and lots of black smoke
>run for it
>town council fags roll up in a van to show some guy how good the beaches are
>sees Nordic invasion fleet burning the coastline
>they pull out cameras
>run for our lives, fearing a $6000 fine and criminal record
>running as a pack, go down street
>dead end
>they chase us in 4×4’s
>corner us
>bearded dude says “what are you doing!”
>fool got out of his car, we run away again into the bushes
>cars shoot past as we hide like Jews from the gestapo
>Viking raid successful

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: kz6HYQns) 10/02/12(Tue)21:13:22No.428435410

File: 1349226802672.jpg-(39 KB, 600×347, Falcon kick.jpg)

 

>tied a skateboard to a car
>vroom vroom motherfucker
>blood

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: fl4qBnmj) 10/02/12(Tue)21:14:57 No.428435596

Replies: >>428439381 >>428479720 >>428490728

Nothing feels worse than being like 10- and having a friends parent yell at you, fucking ptsd for weeks i swear

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: k0AEcE01) 10/02/12(Tue)21:15:08 No.428435621

Replies: >>428447245 >>428459593 >>428472684 >>428483686>>428495064

>couldn’t shit without getting butt naked
>would sneeze upward and let it hit me cause it felt cooling.
I was a disgusting 17 year old

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: tridAmxp) 10/02/12(Tue)21:15:40 No.428435701

Replies:>>428485003

File: 1349226940499.jpg-(63 KB, 600×375, srongbad.jpg)

 

>6th grade
>be 9/11/2001
>see planes twin towers hit on tv
>later in the day, see old 5th grade teacher
>walk up to her
>”Help Ms. Anon, don’t let the terrorists get me!”
>i laugh
>she probably didn’t

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: VMLGFheH) 10/02/12(Tue)21:20:50 No.428436392

Replies: >>428436536 >>428438030>>428462587

>be 8
>hardcore bed humping (I didn’t know it was sexual at the time)
>dad got awkward every time he saw me doing it, told me to stop

I still do it to this day

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:21:03 No.428436419

Replies: >>428436663>>428466114

File: 1349227263871.jpg-(7 KB, 341×173, tumblr_m4udrwwsLE1qamxn7.jpg)

 

>tried out for a sport
> never played said sport (can’t even remember what sport it was)
>Didn’t make the team
>Parents wanted me to go to different high school anyways
>Tried out for the team, like a dumbfuck
>Didn’t make it
>Mfw all the kids who made that sport laughed at me

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:21:52 No.428436536

Replies:>>428440846

>>428436392
Me too
Except my mom caught me, and I told her it helped me make dreams.
I have no idea what I meant, I remember saying it but not what I meant by it

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: tOE+Ljxb) 10/02/12(Tue)21:22:52 No.428436663

Replies:>>428436891

>>428436419
Lol’d

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:24:24 No.428436891

>>428436663
Thanks for laughing at my one time beta-ness
Actually made friends with half of them, but it was really awkward when they talked about try outs.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xvk08BWT) 10/02/12(Tue)21:26:00 No.428437090

Replies: >>428437180 >>428437460

>>428433110 (OP)
Every year there are less and less pictures like this, and I get more and more disappointed with /b/

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: a+S2bGA4) 10/02/12(Tue)21:26:43 No.428437180

Replies:>>428437316

>>428437090
pictures like what

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 1l8pwHia) 10/02/12(Tue)21:27:26 No.428437301

Replies:>>428474361

>be 13
>smoke weed get munchies
>friend has ice cream
>eat that shit
>he comes out “dafuck, thats my ice cream
>He steals spoon
>begin to cry
>get new spoon, cry and continue eating vanilla ice cream

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:27:34 No.428437316

Replies:>>428438680

>>428437180
Pictures that look awesome with birthday hats

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: w42+G7Dv) 10/02/12(Tue)21:27:51 No.428437369

Replies: >>428445724>>428495452

>be like 4
>go to wendys with my mom
>see fucking snorlax in line
>say mommy why is that man so fat
> say it really loud
>everyone looks at me
>think nothing of it since I’m fucking four
>get my damn burger and leave

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: skqNjZGW) 10/02/12(Tue)21:28:23 No.428437446

Replies:>>428438145

Grew up.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: kQKxvn8e) 10/02/12(Tue)21:28:30 No.428437459

Replies: >>428438226 >>428443650

>>428433110 (OP)
>>428433110 (OP)

There’s so much shit I did as a kid that made me cringe now that I think about it, but I can’t think of a god damn thing now.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: tJcm+Svt) 10/02/12(Tue)21:28:30No.428437460

>>428437090
fewer and fewer*

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: w42+G7Dv) 10/02/12(Tue)21:30:05 No.428437683

Replies: >>428465954 >>428470596>>428484458

>be 7
>sister is 5
>as joke we took pictures of eachother naked
>parents have no idea
>get pictures developed at costco
>policeman confronts them for CP

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: cBVfU7+Z) 10/02/12(Tue)21:32:07 No.428438030

>>428436392
So sad that you are fucked up because your parents couldn’t deal with human sexuality. I hope I never do this.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:32:47No.428438145

>>428437446
Cheers, anon.
This is too true for too many people

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0CztPPlX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:33:17No.428438226

>>428437459
My life

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: a+S2bGA4) 10/02/12(Tue)21:36:19No.428438680

>>428437316
there isnt a birthday hat with that picture

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: tdT3Itct) 10/02/12(Tue)21:36:36No.428438730

>>428434881
oh god my sides!

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: UVp/2Xxf) 10/02/12(Tue)21:38:38 No.428439017

Replies: >>428439735 >>428440757 >>428463863 >>428475881>>428477407

>In 4th grade.
>Reading some book about the holocaust.
>Look up the word “swastika” in the dictionary, confused by its meaning.
>Some alternate definition said something about good luck.
>Convinced that the swastika was a good luck charm.
>Draws swastikas all over my papers for the next few days.
>Teacher gets pissed.
>Parents flip shit.
>Principle suspends me.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: iiiFuvM1) 10/02/12(Tue)21:38:43 No.428439039

> Be 18
> Acquaintance at school offers me some candy.
> Jokingly say “isn’t poisoned is it”?
> Gives fake low chuckle, says no.
> Found out he was out previous 10 days for ingesting rat poison.
> Felt bad.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: JWT0p+yW) 10/02/12(Tue)21:39:02 No.428439075

File: 1349228342787.jpg-(16 KB, 250×188, pic (16).jpg)

 

97% of people fall instantly asleep after visiting this website 

http://asleep.fuckcentral.com 

A weird phemomenon that even scientisst don’t have a proper explanation for. pic(398).jpg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ZwHY9FNl) 10/02/12(Tue)21:40:11 No.428439237

Replies: >>428440113 >>428495956

File: 1349228411603.jpg-(24 KB, 241×151, 2662-j-jonah.jpg)

 

>be 10th grade
>hack into high school’s domain controller
>set up domain account called chucknorris1
>IT staffdon’t know shit
>edit logon script for students and faculty from home
>add line to set tubgirl as the desktop background for all computers in school
>walk into comp sci class next morning
>tubgirl on every fucking monitor in the school; where there was a computer, there was tubgirl
>IT guy and principal furious
>bitch IT guy can’t figure out what happened
>shit stays there for an entire week
>mfw school IT is fucking dumb

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: msKcWHdl) 10/02/12(Tue)21:40:33No.428439301

>>428434881
i fucking died of laughter at 
>sees nordic invasion fleet burning the coastline

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: msKcWHdl) 10/02/12(Tue)21:41:03No.428439381

>>428435596
ah this.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Z1x5r0Y9) 10/02/12(Tue)21:43:36No.428439735

>>428439017
i fucking lol’d way too hard

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: mmvT6aGM) 10/02/12(Tue)21:45:48 No.428440057

Replies: >>428448269 >>428490027>>428500874

File: 1349228748591.jpg-(1.3 MB, 4320×2432, P1000059.jpg)

 

>Be in 9th Grade in Computer Applications Class
>Using Proxy to be on /b/ during School
>Find Loli Thread
>Start Looking at Loli Thread
>Few minutes later, teacher notices me not doing much typing
>Comes to inspect what I’m doing
>OHSHIT OHSHIT OHSHIT
>Minimize Thread because I didn’t want to close it lose it
>Teacher grabs my Mouse
>Freak the fuck out and turn off computer
>She assumes I was on Myspace (Because that was the cool thing at the time)
>SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: fY+Tjs2x) 10/02/12(Tue)21:46:13No.428440113

>>428439237
well done anon

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: S9TuutEC) 10/02/12(Tue)21:47:14 No.428440282

Replies: >>428455059 >>428459323>>428489961

File: 1349228834998.jpg-(52 KB, 174×175, 1269369895509.jpg)

 

>be 9ish 
>cycling along with someone i barely knew
>hobo strolling along with his shopping cart
>i tell the kid next to me it’s his dad
>kid says his dad died a few years ago
>LOL hard
>”i’m not joking”
>oh

other time in biology class, kid’s messing around with the skeleton that’s always standing in the corner
>tell kid behind me his dad is getting raped
>guy next to kid eyes go wide, hands in front of mouth
>kid runs out the room crying
>wutsthematter.jpg
>”his dad died 2 weeks ago”
>areyoufuckingkiddingme

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: mmvT6aGM) 10/02/12(Tue)21:50:28 No.428440757

Replies: >>428452764 >>428455072 >>428499931

>>428439017
What you were referring to was a Buddhist symbol for Peace if I remember correctly.
It looks very similar to a Swastika, except it is facing the opposite direction and is not angled like the Swastika usually is.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Z1x5r0Y9) 10/02/12(Tue)21:50:50 No.428440828

File: 1349229050368.gif-(860 KB, 200×150, 1348734585774.gif)

 

>be in 4th grade
>buy a metal capgun from corner store
>shoot that fucker errday, enjoy the sound it makes
>have brilliant idea to bring it to school one day
>shoot it in class, everyone goes apeshit, teacher ducks
>no-one found out it was me
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>come lunch time, go to playground and put hoodie over head and face
>get another brilliant idea to act like I was robbing some asian kid
>asian kid freaks out, yells rape
>hall-monitors run to me and tell me to drop it
>drop capgun inside sleeve with hands up (played too much GTA at the time) 
>tell them it was a joke and it wasn’t real
>get sent to principals office, name is “Mr.Pink” or someshit
>get suspended for two weeks
>dad picks me up, talks to principal and walks me home
>on the way home he looks down at me giving me this disappointed expression and says “Too bad we couldn’t get your gun back, huh sport?” 
>mfw my dad’s fucking awesome and I didn’t get in trouble

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: IAZGKlAX) 10/02/12(Tue)21:51:03 No.428440846

>>428436536
Hmm i know exactly what you mean, i used to do something like that when i was real young. Well not humping, but i’d lay face down with my eyes closed on the floor or bed while listening to music and imagine stories based on the type of music. Sounds like you meant that by make dreams

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xx2zkxNq) 10/02/12(Tue)21:52:10 No.428441025

Replies: >>428444584

Made a comment about a girl’s mustache. Truth is I didn’t mean to be an asshole, I kinda thought it was cool she could grow one, but this was in like 1st or 2nd grade.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: S9TuutEC) 10/02/12(Tue)21:52:25 No.428441058

Replies: >>428442004 >>428444470 >>428475537 >>428490121>>428492846

File: 1349229145043.jpg-(42 KB, 480×450, 1258701618796.jpg)

 

>be 10
>running around in the backyard
>playing naked in the kiddy swimmingpool
>dog comes along 
>my cocks all hard for some reason
>shove it in to my dogs face hoping he will lick it
>dogs all confused
>look to my right
>neighbour looking at me right in the eyes
i will never forget the look on her face

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ofTUDJyB) 10/02/12(Tue)21:54:19 No.428441341

Replies: >>428442072 >>428478023

i was 5, at the statue of liberty, a year after the towers went down, so you couldn’t go in, pigeons EVERYWHERE, so theres pigeon shit everywhere, run around, dad chases me, trip, have bird shit all up and down me.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: As4SSMnW) 10/02/12(Tue)21:58:31No.428442004

>>428441058
roflmao

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ieDtZLSx) 10/02/12(Tue)21:58:36 No.428442016

Replies: >>428442561>>428447320

File: 1349229516115.jpg-(10 KB, 240×200, 1348788318970.jpg)

 

>9th grade
>joking around with student in biology
>calling each other bad names for fun
>”haha anon youre such a poopy head!”
>”haha friend youre such a weenie!”
>”haha anon youre such a silly head!”
>”haha friend youre such a nigger!”
>class goes quiet
>mfw teacher was black
>mfw friend was black
I failed that class. Hard. 
Worth it.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xx2zkxNq) 10/02/12(Tue)21:58:57No.428442072

>>428441341
underage b&

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: d765sqly) 10/02/12(Tue)22:01:48 No.428442542

File: 1349229708981.jpg-(14 KB, 300×300, extendedniggerface.jpg)

 

>Be in kindergarten
>On the playground
>Fat bitch in my territory
>Trying to slide on my slide
>Hit her in the face
>shitniggerwhatareyoudoing.jpg
>Teacher yells at me and I have to sit in a chair for the rest of recess 
>mfw I never told my mom

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: dNr3bvgx) 10/02/12(Tue)22:01:58No.428442561

>>428442016
worth it

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: cBVfU7+Z) 10/02/12(Tue)22:06:05 No.428443263

Replies:>>428447587

>1st grade
>young teacher sits on stool in front of class
>i stare hungrily into the cotton v betwixt her skirt
>i stare
>i stare
>stare
>legs slam shut
>look at teacher’s face
>horror and disgust
>i shame

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: D4fmE4nd) 10/02/12(Tue)22:08:30No.428443650

>>428437459
cool story bro

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2yRWTk1O) 10/02/12(Tue)22:13:13No.428444470

>>428441058
you know kehan?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: HdS2svAn) 10/02/12(Tue)22:14:04No.428444584

>>428441025
I lol’ed and shared.
Cool story bro

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: cBVfU7+Z) 10/02/12(Tue)22:15:05No.428444761

File: 1349230505830.gif-(438 KB, 500×376, cosby no.gif)

 

>13, asleep
>really good fap dream
>fap
>fap
>fap
>fanonp
>fanon
>anon?!
>ANON!
>wake up
>dad staring at you in open doorway
>whatareyoudoing?
pic:dadsfacewhen

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: HXQBMaNj) 10/02/12(Tue)22:15:06 No.428444763

Replies:>>428467982

File: 1349230506298.jpg-(50 KB, 485×728, 11232223255.jpg)

 

8th grade english class
>teacher telling us about how boys should be wearing deodorant at this age
>someone obviously smells terrible
>discussion about why we should etc (female teacher)
>I pipe up
>”But miss, I don’t have pubic hair yet”
>meant to say underarm hair
>Teacher goes quiet, whole class starts laughing.
>didn’t end up hitting puberty until 10th grade
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: OuhANHP7) 10/02/12(Tue)22:21:00 No.428445724

Replies:>>428493023

>>428437369
>get my damn burger and leave

HONEY BADGER DON’T GIVE A FUCK

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: caqLKJLL) 10/02/12(Tue)22:24:57 No.428446374

Replies:>>428447606

>be in 5th grade
>playing kickball,everyone does
>huge line
> I get my turn, some fat chick pokes me
>bad kick, someone catches,I’m out
>say nothing to girl, plotting
>grab a ball, hide it, go away
>as recess ends, I call fat bitch
>set ball Down, kick directly into face
>hits glasses, she goes down
>run like hell
>never got caught, she was scared to tell
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ltUR2mtl) 10/02/12(Tue)22:25:00No.428446381

File: 1349231100828.jpg-(82 KB, 416×459, 1345634978200.jpg)

 

>>428434881
cool story bro

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: nor0wcrg) 10/02/12(Tue)22:27:42 No.428446851

Replies:>>428447347

>in kindergarten
> We watching a movie
>sitin indian style on the floor 
> Girl keeps poking me
> Im like “stop” 
> she pokes me again 
> i grab her finger and break it
> I get in trouble 

Another stupid thing

> In kindergarten again 
> Go into bathroom, start pissin on toilet paper roll
> principle announces that some is urinating on the TP rolls
> i do it again, look out of stall to the exit
> some fkin girl janitor is peeking in
> Im like “uh oh”
> Walk out, janitor catches me, i offer her a million dollars not to tell
> janitor turns me in

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: LeKZlXxB) 10/02/12(Tue)22:29:33 No.428447192

Replies: >>428455015 >>428470758

>be 6th grade
>only went to school 25 times all year roughly played WOW all day everyday instead of that bullshit
>when i was there desk partner drew dicks on my desk
>blamed the skipping on him
>they passed me
>kid home schooled for 4 years
>developed tourettes somehow.
>LOL.jpg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EfnfPFVH) 10/02/12(Tue)22:29:49No.428447245

>>428435621

hahaha

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: OuhANHP7) 10/02/12(Tue)22:30:17 No.428447320

Replies:>>428475935

>>428442016
>9th grade
>poopy head
>weenie
>silly head

shit when i was in 9th grade i cussed like a sailor.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: caqLKJLL) 10/02/12(Tue)22:30:28 No.428447347

Replies: >>428449482 >>428468296 >>428476682

>>428446851
So just a little off topic question here, are your janitors like legit mentaly delayed? Because all three schools I’ve gone to they are all, as teachers call them, “special.” asking anyone here, been meaning to ask this.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: OuhANHP7) 10/02/12(Tue)22:31:52No.428447587

>>428443263
WORTH IT.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: NCgDW3i8) 10/02/12(Tue)22:31:57No.428447606

>>428446374
FUCKIN WIN

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EfnfPFVH) 10/02/12(Tue)22:35:43 No.428448269

>>428440057

yah, i did something similar, except i ripped all the lines out

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: rFW8aqfj) 10/02/12(Tue)22:36:17No.428448372

>>428433110 (OP)
>Be in 7th grade
>Call kid a bastard
>Kid never knew his dad
>Didn’t even know what a bastard was, at the time
>Kid tries to fight me
>I whoop his ass
>Get suspended and look like a total douche

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: nor0wcrg) 10/02/12(Tue)22:42:12 No.428449482

>>428447347
well, in elementary school we had 1 janitor who couldn’t talk, he would just sound like he was trying to talk but it came out like
“Huehuhjehuh” 
but besides that none of the school janitors ive seen are mentally delayed.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Zc0exXF+) 10/02/12(Tue)22:48:50 No.428450692

Replies: >>428450876

> be in kindergarten
> had a nanny at the time
> since it was kindergarten all teachers were women
> after breakfast teacher asks me to bring my cup into the washing room 
> I ask if there was no ‘woman’ around who would do that for me (by woman I actually meant my nanny)
> parents get called for private meeting about their parenting qualities

Lol

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: z6teoYZs) 10/02/12(Tue)22:49:18 No.428450785

Replies: >>428453237 >>428474773 >>428485105

File: 1349232558759.png-(365 KB, 796×531, zenglasses.png)

 

42 year old fatherfag here.
Total loser in highschool. Virginfag until college. Went after hottest chick in my grade though, and repeatedly made an ass of myself. Singing telegram, check. Passing down the entire class a tube of clearasil because she had a single pimple while I was a smelly zit ridden dork, across the entire class (pass this tube to anonchick please), and then asking her if she got it. Never went on a “date”, didn’t go to the prom.

Happy ending is that I went to a good college, got experience, got a degree in Computer Science and Applied Math, married, and have two boys, both at or below 10. I go to /b/ for laughs and the genius, but I love this thread because some dads forget what it was like to be 8 or so, and being dad-poor when I was a kid, I really dig the honest point of view.

AMA if you give a fuck.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2zQI/zU3) 10/02/12(Tue)22:49:45No.428450876

>>428450692
loool

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ThAZ0mtU) 10/02/12(Tue)22:50:15No.428450963

>6th grade
>back yard pissing
>UPS man walks around
>think well already saw it
>finishes

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0QH6HdaF) 10/02/12(Tue)22:53:50 No.428451648

Replies: >>428452598 >>428462514>>428468919

File: 1349232830333.jpg-(43 KB, 311×241, 1343446061411.jpg)

 

>be in 2nd grade
>had IBS (iritable bowel syndrome)
>was constapated in class
>hadnt shit in like a month
>touching my dick made the cramps go away
>didnt know what jerking off was
>called it pee-pee tickle
>sitting in computer lab
>start shakeing my legs back and forth
>cant type
>both hands frozen above keyboard
>casually put one hand it my pocket and start touching my wang
>busted in my pants
>started laughing cuz it tickled
>typed for about 5 minutes
>cramps back
>do it again
>start laughing 
> prairie dogging so bad
> get up
>start farting as i walk out of class
>teacher asks 
>”anon where you going”
>dont respond
>walk out
>run to bathroom
>take the fattest shit in the toilet
>clogged it so bad
>mfw the janitor had to deal with that

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2zQI/zU3) 10/02/12(Tue)22:56:47 No.428452223

Replies:>>428466508

>grade 2-3
>i have to piss
>”no, wait until the noon bell rings”
>”I HAVE TO GO NOW”
>”no”
>youthinkthisisamotherfuckinggame.jpg
>piss on floor
>”who the fuck made this mess” next day
>grin face

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: NuyAzcvB) 10/02/12(Tue)22:58:36 No.428452558

Replies: >>428452767

File: 1349233116930.jpg-(50 KB, 731×550, PTGuyWithGlasses-Final-Flat.jpg)

 

>be in primary 6
>girl in back of class starts making a heavy breathing sound
>reminded me of the classic orgasm scene from when harry met sally
>utter the immortal line “I’ll have what she’s having!”
>no one laughs
>girl gets taken to hospital as it was a serious asthma attack and she nearly died

I still look back and laugh at my awesome wit…fuck everyone else, they’re humourless faggots.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0QH6HdaF) 10/02/12(Tue)22:58:48 No.428452598

Replies: >>428453429>>428489369

>>428451648
2nd story
>be in 9th grade
>still have ibs (its gotten way better, im 17 in 12th grade)
>lunch before my math class
>spend entire 40 minute lunch in the crapper
>take the fattest shit about a foot long (not even kidding)
>go to math class
>kid sitting next to me asks teacher if he can go to the bathroom
>ohshit.jpg
>kid comes in
>”anon, someone took the fattest shit in the toilet, its reaching out of the bowl”
>pokerface.jpg
>laugh along like its funny
>i think he knows it was me cuz i went to elementary with him
>oh well

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: WWbtyi0B) 10/02/12(Tue)22:59:17 No.428452668

File: 1349233157060.jpg-(13 KB, 281×301, oh no.jpg)

 

>be 15
>smoke 8.5 grams of spice hash (we used to smoke anything we could get)
>tripping balls (first time smoking soic/hash/out of bong
>eat a full jar of pickle relish
>eat half a rotted hot dog
>mfw i wake up with salmonella

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: NaBI1/oe) 10/02/12(Tue)22:59:45No.428452764

>>428440757
a manji

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2zQI/zU3) 10/02/12(Tue)22:59:46No.428452767

>>428452558
LOOOL

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: RkBUGlBa) 10/02/12(Tue)23:00:35 No.428452917

>Be in 7th grade
>Ass hole kid calls me a faggot
>Tell on him like a faggot.
>Teacher got the wrong kid with the same name. 
>Tried telling them they got the wrong kid
>Thought i was lieing
>Fast foward to 10th grade
>Turns out that kid was gay and i forced him to get out of the closet.
>Feel terrible for the rest of my life.
>

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: bTaFA9ng) 10/02/12(Tue)23:02:26 No.428453237

Replies: >>428456502 >>428469617

>>428450785
I’m a senior in high school this year, thinking about going into CS in college, but I have no programming experience… how was it for you?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: z3KQb449) 10/02/12(Tue)23:02:26 No.428453242

Replies:>>428488940

>Couple years ago
>Friends mom hung herself
>Didn’t know
>Speaking to friend
>Sister being a bitch
>Tell her my sister makes me want to hang myself
>Friend tells me her mom killed herself
>Ruin relationship with amazing friend
>Still hate myself for it

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: htj1ghrz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:03:24 No.428453429

Replies:>>428457790

>>428452598
You post some really shitty stories, anon.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EfnfPFVH) 10/02/12(Tue)23:03:39 No.428453471

>be 10-11
>be at school w/ my dad
>end of school year, he’s just packing up
>”come on anon, we have to go to another room”
>idonwanna
>”k, stay here. kids been stealing stuff out of classes, if you leave close the door, it’ll automatically lock”
>k, got it
>10 min later, gotta piss BAD
>don’t want shit getting stolen
>don’t want to be locked out and away from computer
>piss in garbage can
>janitor comes by, looks in garbage
>get a dirty look
>doesn’t change the bag

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 33qR/s1z) 10/02/12(Tue)23:04:47 No.428453672

Replies: >>428456751>>428463275

File: 1349233487081.jpg-(7 KB, 215×235, frosh9.jpg)

 

>Be in early elementary school
>Sep. 11th 2001
>Thought World Trade Center was World Train Center
>Teacher watching news on TV
>”Whats the big deal? It’s just abunch of trains”
>Get in trouble and get sent to office

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 44wqhO6j) 10/02/12(Tue)23:05:07 No.428453734

Replies: >>428454949>>428474457

>be in 3rd grade
>have to take epic piss
>class mexican grabs bathroom pass before I can
>fuckingwetback.jpg
>mexican is gone for like 20 minutes
>face curling up, tears in eyes, squirming violently
>unload piss in seat
>OH GOD WHY
>act like nothing is happening
>scoot to the front of the seat after piss is over
>puddle behind me
>cute girl sees,screams
>say it’s only water
>tells me to prove it
>fucking skeptics
>make straw out of pen
>get on my knees near seat
>look into her eyes
>maintain poker face while drinking piss puddle
>worth it to save my reputation

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: gBR6ok36) 10/02/12(Tue)23:09:18 No.428454627

Replies:>>428457361

>Be like 10
>playing police an thives
>me and girl vs other kid and his sister
>we catch them fuckers
>against a wall
>she softly kicks the girl
>I grab the kids head and smash it agains the wall with my 10 yo strenght
>wall had like small rocks
>kid starts bleeding
>hide in bush for 1 hour waiting for him to go back to his house
>feel bad all day

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: PyG+1XzN) 10/02/12(Tue)23:09:38 No.428454702

Replies: >>428481961

>be in kindergarden
>really need to piss but teacher tells me i dont
>MISS I REALLY NEED TO WEE
>NO YOU DONT YOU ONLY JUST HAD YOUR BREAK
>okay miss
>piss all over my seat and on the floor
>ANON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU SHOULD OF TOLD ME YOU NEEDED TO USE THE BATHROOM

Image

>be in grade one
>want to go into this sitting area but grade two kid said i am too young for it
>no im not just move
>no i cant let you
>hit her lunch box out of her hand and push her out of the way to get though
>she starts crying
>teacher aproaches me
>ANON! good on you for sticking up for your self next time just dont push
>calls up mum that afternoon telling her how proud she is of what i did
dafuck

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:03No.428454949

>>428453734
ohgodwhy

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: VEjKI/U0) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:23 No.428455015

Replies: >>428455504>>428493937

>>428447192
>
doesn’t matter your a faggot neckbeard.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2oXlH57V) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:39No.428455059

>>428440282
damn that’s the worst of luck

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EXZS8YWm) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:42 No.428455069

File: 1349233902426.jpg-(10 KB, 250×188, pic (399).jpg)

 

97% of people fall instantly asleep after visiting this website 

http://asleep.fuckcentral.com 

A weird phemomenon that even scientisst don’t have a proper explanation for. pic(610).jpg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: mcE5QSUX) 10/02/12(Tue)23:11:43 No.428455072

>>428440757
Actually, up until the Nazi’s began using the ‘right’ facing swastika, Buddhists, Hindu’s and other East Asian groups used both left and right facing swastikas, as symbols for luck, peace, good/evil, and so on. 

After the Nazi’s used the right facing one, mst Hindu and Buddhist cultures outside of east Asia dropped the right facing one, but in east Asia it is still used. 

Furthermore, other groups also used it, including the Ancient Celts, Egyptians, North American Natives, and many more. 

Lastly, and this may have changed, but a central European Navy used the right facing swastika, even after the Nazi regime used it.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Hw3cZTRA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:12:38 No.428455243

Replies:>>428474419

File: 1349233958644.jpg-(189 KB, 484×600, photo.jpg)

 

>be in 4th grade
>be playing 4 square as it was the shit back in the day
>some bitch says that I’m out
>tell her she is really wrong
>storm off
>stewing
>have chalk in my pocket because i drew the 4 square court
>go back and write on the pavement “you all suck your asses”
>suspended
>worth it

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:13:58 No.428455504

Replies:>>428469512

File: 1349234038353.jpg-(46 KB, 495×378, 1349224823514.jpg)

 

>>428455015
learn2grammar

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: QWzQ0sbS) 10/02/12(Tue)23:14:16 No.428455549

File: 1349234056468.jpg-(28 KB, 400×400, 1270427705803.jpg)

 

>7th grade
>discovered a chan site in the 6th grade so I had a plethora of weird fetishes already
>teacher is gone a lot of the time due to medical issues so we have a substitute a lot
>one of the substitutes is very pregnant
>massive erection everytime she taught
Thinking back on it I’m about 50% sure she noticed. I have no regrets.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: apNVNRIM) 10/02/12(Tue)23:15:10 No.428455723

iu know it’s not ops creation, but thats funny as fuck of a pic.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ObEBV50B) 10/02/12(Tue)23:16:17 No.428455938

Replies: >>428456145 >>428456218 >>428478057 >>428494182>>428496276

>be 15 on summer break
>brother be 8
>no one is home except us
>we decide to play “husband and wife”
>i put make up on and girly clothes
>we go into their room and I suck his 8 year old dick
>did this everyday until I moved out for college
>were both still straight as fuck

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:16:48No.428456039

File: 1349234208581.png-(11 KB, 390×470, 1343007890261.png)

 

mfw this thread

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:17:22No.428456145

>>428455938
>suck dick
>straight as fuck
choose one

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Hw3cZTRA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:17:49 No.428456218

Replies:>>428465012

>>428455938
if you put a penis in your mouth, your not straight. Sorry

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: cEhL62U9) 10/02/12(Tue)23:18:12 No.428456287

Replies: >>428456468 >>428475087>>428477674

>be in school
>hot girl in front of me
>She drops her pencil
>She bends over to pick it up
>She’s not wearing panties
>Turns around and looks at me
>”Like what you see?”
>Whole class goes “Ooooooooh”
>Palms get sweaty
>knees weak, arms are heavy
>it’s falling out of my pockets already
>mom’s spaghetti

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:19:09 No.428456468

Replies:>>428458781

>>428456287
0/10
copypasta and very obvious

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: z6teoYZs) 10/02/12(Tue)23:19:19 No.428456502

File: 1349234359122.jpg-(48 KB, 722×542, mousetub.jpg)

 

>>428453237
Programming is just learning, I find most computer games a bit like computer science. DayZ, for example, requires you do ARMA bootcamp. Other games require you to acclimate to their interpretation. Math is harder. Math was true, is true when discovered, and will be true forever. Computer science is so out there and hard to analyze, that you can do some incredible shit just with imagination.

Can you do CS? Mr, you can do anything you fucking want.

You just have to want it. As I get older, it’s the want that becomes difficult to obtain. But I learned this much, do not stand still. The world is always moving and treats the idle harshly.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ERYJctXt) 10/02/12(Tue)23:19:44 No.428456564

me and my friend were kickin each others desks. i pushed his and it knocked over our substitute teacher who was this 80 year old holocaust survivor. some faggot caught her and she was pissed. some ugly chick called me an idiot and i felt bad.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: /4/iYyWH) 10/02/12(Tue)23:20:59 No.428456751

Replies:>>428462913

>>428453672
underage b8

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: RkBUGlBa) 10/02/12(Tue)23:24:14No.428457282

>be 13
>showed 8 year old cousin my penis
>feels bad to this day
>wounder if she remembers

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: lJqp0zlb) 10/02/12(Tue)23:24:39 No.428457361

Replies: >>428457589>>428457828

>>428454627
>police and thives 
why don’t you stop being a faggot and call it cops and robbers like everyone else??

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: B8Ue9twr) 10/02/12(Tue)23:25:36 No.428457519

Replies: >>428457923 >>428475338

>be in 7th grade social studies class
>studying World War 2
>every time Hitlers name is mentioned, me and a few friends do NAZI salute and scream mein fuhrer
>after about 5 times of this teacher explodes in rage
>teacher leaves class in tears
>find out teacher is jewish
>0 fucks given

I spent a lot of time in the office.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: gBR6ok36) 10/02/12(Tue)23:25:58 No.428457589

>>428457361
because english is not my main languaje. I dont give a fuck about how you call it in your country

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FpsMS6fm) 10/02/12(Tue)23:26:21 No.428457652

Replies: >>428458017 >>428475443

>be 12
>I knew a lot more about computers at this age than my it teacher
>make a small program that opens up a full screen picture of a blue screen after some minutes
>picture changes into a black guy with really bad teeth
>the word nigger starts flashing in black and white all over the screen (the word wasnt a big deal in my country at the time but still wasnt appropriate)
>the program shuts down and deletes itself
>make a script that starts the program when my it teacher logs on the next time

>see said teacher in the school library the next morning
>oh shi- he’s having a presentation for the principal and a bunch of adults I had never seen
>program starts, see that everyone stops talking
>see how everyones eyes get wider and wider
>run away
>luckily I was never caught

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Eg6FEHfV) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:03 No.428457773

Replies: >>428483038

>be in 5th grade 
>get a new kid in our class from kentucky or whatever 
>decide to fuck with him 
>recess 
>nobody is talking to him 
>he’s just chillin by himself next to the door 
>walk up to him and say hi 
>he says hi back and looks happy that somebody is acknowledging him 
>tell him I’ll brb 
>sneak inside
>no teachers around 
>no cameras either because white school 
>take the biggest shit of my life in the middle of the main hallway 
>piss as well
>go back outside and find a teacher 
>tell her new kid shit in the hallway 
>”what are you talking about,anon?” 
>say it again because apparently I didn’t make myself clear 
>she runs into the school and comes back out, grabs the kid by his arm and takes him inside
>he was suspended for a week, but he moved the week after 
I was such a little faggot

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: BSbaAFvU) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:08No.428457784

>be 6
>doing art
>man I love art
>older brother showed me WW2 stuff the day before
>didnt know what swastika was
>drew heaps on my page
>teacher didn’t give a fuck
>take it home
>give it to dad
>dad gets mad at me and says this means I hate myself
>cry because I didnt understand
>my dad is jewish

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: sLkCt2Rd) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:10No.428457790

>>428453429

10/10 reply. would read again.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: dsNkCgcU) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:21 No.428457828

Replies: >>428458334 >>428464881 >>428470926

>>428457361
Because everybody had different names for the same game and he just happened to call it police and thieves?

Seriously, what did you call the game where one person wasn’t allowed on the playground equipment and had to tag the others? Mine was something about a lava monster or something.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: dsNkCgcU) 10/02/12(Tue)23:27:52No.428457923

>>428457519
My fucking sides

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: YAjVgvQ3) 10/02/12(Tue)23:28:28No.428458017

>>428457652
bullshit.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: un2Uhkyi) 10/02/12(Tue)23:29:52No.428458248

File: 1349234992880.jpg-(43 KB, 400×500, 4chinzfag.jpg)

 

>>428433110 (OP)
> I was such a faggot
> Is such a faggot

Why do you lie to us, OP? You lying faggot.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FFwfZUl0) 10/02/12(Tue)23:30:22 No.428458334

>>428457828
The rest of the world calls it Lava Monster. Welcome to the club, I guess…

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2Y8N6krM) 10/02/12(Tue)23:30:49 No.428458401

Replies: >>428494714

>be 12
>bored with 2 friends
>we decide to draw random shit at the classroom tables during lunch time
>I drew a huge penis across all the table
>me and friends laugh at this act
>class starts
>other students get horrorized at the huge cawk
>they start asking who did that
>ohfuck.gif
>Almost freaking out at the thought that my friends will ditch me.
>luckily they say nothing
>principal comes to the class
>we lose 1 fucking hour of class because principal won’t stop talking about how immoral that was and blah, blah, blah…
>sweating like a pig the whole time
>principal notices it
>”why are you sweating, anon?”
>shitshitshit.jpg
>”I-it’s just hot in here”
>random cumdumpster says “it was him!”
>teacher steps in and says: “anon would never do this. Right, anon?”
>”O-of course”
>principal still suspicious but leaves classroom
>”haha, that was close, anon” says one of my friends
>”heh, sure…”
>don’t do anything remotely dangerous again for the whole year

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: qK9eoEo2) 10/02/12(Tue)23:31:12 No.428458462

Replies: >>428460098>>428460129

File: 1349235072970.jpg-(8 KB, 217×265, mfw.jpg)

 

>Be 16 year old lesbian
>sexting girlfriend
>facebook notification comes up
>ignore
>sext girlfriend back
>mfw identically post to facebook

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: RqME/V+6) 10/02/12(Tue)23:31:23 No.428458484

Replies: >>428458851 >>428476535 >>428479345>>428486175

>be in 1st grade
>walk up to girl who i liked who had glasses
>ignorantly say ‘hey those glasses kind of make you look like you have four eyes’ not realizing that was an insult
>mfw she bursts into treats and runs to the girl’s bathroom to cry
>mfw i didn’t know she was bullied every day because of her glasses
>mfw one of her friends told a teacher and i was in big trouble
>mfw no face

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ERYJctXt) 10/02/12(Tue)23:33:19No.428458781

>>428456468
>>428456468
i bet you’re the life of any party you go to.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: gBR6ok36) 10/02/12(Tue)23:33:47No.428458851

File: 1349235227200.jpg-(13 KB, 349×302, 1343271760145.jpg)

 

>>428458484

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FxlJTqZr) 10/02/12(Tue)23:34:26 No.428458940

File: 1349235266186.jpg-(14 KB, 181×172, image.jpg)

 

>1st grade
>had to shit really, really bad
>teacher: let’s go outside class
>i was terrified
> poo starts to prairie dog
> while outside I try to hold it in
> let a large rock hard shit out
> silently panic
>go to corner of garden 
>I reached my hand down and grabbed it
> I dropped the slimy thing behind me with the best poker face of any person ever
> walk 2 or 3 feet away innocently and wipe hands thoroughly in grass 
>”What is that??” Some dumb bitch screams
> mfw I hear that
> teacher dismisses it as mud
>nobody knows anything
Most relieved part of my life.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: qK9eoEo2) 10/02/12(Tue)23:35:11 No.428459035

Replies:>>428460375

>be 14
>look up porn on home computer
>start watching futa
>mom comes home
>exit out of page
>hours later mom is on computer
>”ANON COME IN HERE”
>futa page is up on screen
>grounded for 2 months
>mom gets therapist
>most fucking awkward guy in the world

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: sFQWP072) 10/02/12(Tue)23:37:08 No.428459307

Replies: >>428459890 >>428466178

File: 1349235428402.gif-(1.99 MB, 196×235, dancingblack.gif)

 

>8th grade
>fat and can’t jump high
>kids make fun of my air force shoes cause i couldnt jump high
>”Anon nice navy force 3’s”
>everyone laughs and i feel bad 
>mfw i end up graduating at the top of my class in the Navy seals with over 300 confirmed kills

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/02/12(Tue)23:37:14No.428459323

>>428440282
LOLOL

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: oJdlg2m/) 10/02/12(Tue)23:38:51 No.428459593

>>428435621
I used to have the same problem with shitting, was caught once in a public stall by brother and father shitting naked with a load of clothes laying around, as it was snowing and i had about 3 coats on.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: QWzQ0sbS) 10/02/12(Tue)23:38:57 No.428459606

I don’t know how old I was when this happened but I pretty little like 3rd grade.
>have friend from south africa
>he wasn’t murrican so no circumcision
>something happened with his dick and they had to chop part of it off
>it looked really fucked up
>I know how it looked because he thought it was funny and showed people

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: sLkCt2Rd) 10/02/12(Tue)23:39:35 No.428459715

Replies: >>428460309

>in middle school
>in P.E. (physical ed)
>fucking hate p.e. because our coach just flirted with the girls all fucking period, then would get randomly pissed and make us do pushups
>its dodgeball day. 
>fuckyeah.gif
>normal game of bullshit, I play outfield so I can talk to other neckbeards
>last at bat for my team, i’m up
>kick the absolute shit out of the dodgeball
>hit some bitch directly in the nose
>she is knocked out cold
>i’m running as fast as my awkward legs will carry me
>get a fucking homerun because of it

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: SgGi48pT) 10/02/12(Tue)23:40:04 No.428459780

>Be sophomore year
>Some kid (football player) senior, really popular died in a car crash the night before.
>didn’t have myspace so I didn’t know shit about it.
>go through hallwayy the next morning.
>hallway is dead quiet dafuq.jpg
>I yell “what’s the matter with everyone, did someone die or something?”
>cheerleaders all burst out crying giving me scolding looks.
>fuck

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: dn2+vfii) 10/02/12(Tue)23:40:15 No.428459818

File: 1349235615482.jpg-(27 KB, 350×204, spittakes-11-7-11-cropped(…).jpg)

 

>be in 4th grade
>night before school my sister makes a joke
>”Your epidermis is showing”
>My mom says it means skin
>I think its funny
>Next day at school
>Sitting at a table with 3 of my peers
>Look at fat black chick
>I say, “Your vagina is showing”
>Somehow mixed up the words but didnt know better
>She makes a big fuss
>I don’t know why
>Tells teacher
>Teacher tells me to say it again, I do
>She takes me out of class
>In principles office
>Still no idea why I’m in trouble
>They call my parents in
>Someone finally gets the confusion
>They explain what ‘vagina’ means
>mfw

>Realize her vagina really was showing

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ERYJctXt) 10/02/12(Tue)23:40:41No.428459890

>>428459307
lul

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: aZQ1LFVA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:42:05 No.428460098

Replies: >>428472470>>428494807

>>428458462
>No tits or timestamp (for sufficient proof femininity of course)
Nigga, do you even 4chan?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8c2nF4fC) 10/02/12(Tue)23:42:18 No.428460129

Replies: >>428476162>>428494850

>>428458462
tits or gtfo

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ATdH6ll8) 10/02/12(Tue)23:42:27 No.428460152

Replies:>>428480825

>Be 12
>At concert with family
>Winter so everyone has coats on(Canada)
>Urge to fap
>Came in my coat during the concert
>Continued to enjoy the concert

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: DNQqRmt7) 10/02/12(Tue)23:42:49 No.428460218

Replies:>>428486643

> this was saturday
> with gf & her mom going to the mall
> they were listening to county
> i’m like this station should come with a shotgun so u can blow ur brains out
> gf txts me when im sitting next to her
> “my mom’s mom shot herself in the head”
> look at her mom
> feelsbadman.jpg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: +YwqPdUS) 10/02/12(Tue)23:43:28 No.428460309

Replies:>>428460657

>>428459715
i think you mean kickball you stupid cunt.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: aZQ1LFVA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:43:47 No.428460375

Replies:>>428469498

>>428459035
At first I read therapist as “the rapist”
And my sides were nowhere to be found.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: jAWGgzZw) 10/02/12(Tue)23:45:21 No.428460627

>someone called children services on my mom
>they shop up, “I’m sorry, but we have to talk to your son”
>only like 2 at the time
>great parent, not mistreated at all
>woman points to my crotch
>”If someone touches you there is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
>”That would be a good thing”
>mom and sister were terrified I was gonna get taken
>social worker just laughs it off
>mfw no face

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: sLkCt2Rd) 10/02/12(Tue)23:45:31No.428460657

>>428460309

indeed i did, kind sir.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FBCTSomz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:46:20 No.428460795

Replies:>>428462229

>>428459659
oh god the newfaggotry

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: oJdlg2m/) 10/02/12(Tue)23:48:54 No.428461216

Not sure if will be understandable but..
>Be 7
>Be out with grandfather and brother for fishing
>We stay at a house my grandfather shared with some friends for fishing
>Meet two kids that lived nearby 
>About the same age
>We quickly become friends
>At night I ask my grandpa if they could sleep over
>He’s playing cards with friends
>He says no
>I ask why
>He jokes that we will make ”change change” ( that a literal translation to a term in my country that means gay curiosity sex )
>I don’t know what he means
>Figure out he’s talking about having to bring a lot of clothes and stuff for sleep over
>Answers ” So what grandpa, we’ll do it ourselves, you guys don’t have to help ”
>He looks kinda shocked and his friends start staring at me
>I try to break the awkwardness with a joke
>” Unless you want to help”
>His friends start staring at him and start noticing the coversation
>He yells at me to just go and don’t embarass him anymore
>He never looked or treated me the same way, never knew why

Ohgodwhy.jpg my whole life.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: GoAfD8cz) 10/02/12(Tue)23:52:29 No.428461776

>7th grade
>talking about chocolate milk with old friend on walk home
>girl already has a decent rack
>”yeah my dad tells me not to drink as much milk since it’s making these bigger” and squeezes her tits to show me
>tell her i think it’s fine and awkwardly try to divert conversation to beverages again
>”you know, random classmate kept looking at me because my shirt was too tight”
>whatthefuckisgoingon.jpg, panic
>tell her to wear looser shirts
>she wells up and starts crying, runs away
>mfw i realize she was trying to come onto me
>tfw she wouldn’t get close to me anymore
those were sad, sad years

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Frh5YguM) 10/02/12(Tue)23:53:40 No.428461945

>be 6-7
>hiding behind a pile of rocks
>some older kids show up and sit somewhere near that pile
>still unnoticed
>grabs huge rock and throws it at a kids back
>run like hell
>gets home and pretend I’m not there
>profit

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: +lqYwu9B) 10/02/12(Tue)23:55:28No.428462229

>>428460795
you should look in a mirror

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: V4/m6VAt) 10/02/12(Tue)23:56:05No.428462318

>>428434201
the horror, the horror…

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: MPHIsv3f) 10/02/12(Tue)23:57:14 No.428462514

>>428451648
Oh fuck, around that age I did the same “pee-pee tickle” to stop from shitting my britches. That shit really worked.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0sN3eYDA) 10/02/12(Tue)23:57:50No.428462587

>>428436392

Same here

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: l2X3eRyy) 10/02/12(Tue)23:59:55 No.428462913

>>428456751
Mongoloid, a first grader or kindergartener would be 18 by now.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: swAMY2St) 10/03/12(Wed)00:00:46 No.428463030

File: 1349236846757.jpg-(234 KB, 960×1280, 1029010353.jpg)

 

>first time gettin in trouble at school
>be in 1st grade
>make up a song about to two retarded kids in my class doing it
>had to go to principals office and confess
>had to apologize to the retarded kids even tho they were tarded

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: /Xd82KRC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:02:26 No.428463275

>>428453672
I was in middle school, people were whispering during school about it, but I didnt pay attention
came home, late that night parents finally tell me about the towers
0 fucks given I’m a kid what do you expect

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: lvoJeW1G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:03:38 No.428463449

Replies: >>428464270 >>428481150

File: 1349237018359.jpg-(34 KB, 300×316, Timbits.jpg)

 

>be 4 years old
>Go to Tim Hortons with mom (donut/coffee shop for Amerifats and Eurofags, etc. We have them everywhere in Canada)
>See Timbits behind counter (donut holes, suck my dick)
>Decide to sneak away
>Walk behind counter
>Start eating the fuckers
>One after another
>My mom notices eventually, cashier is paralyzed with laughter
>Mom has to run around the counter to stop me because this girl is fucking frozen against the cash
>I see her, and start eating faster
>Fucking drags me back around to the front
>”I’m really sorry, I’ll pay you but I don’t know how many he ate”
>”That’s okay, it was so funny I’ll just deal with it” or something to that effect
>Leave
>Free Timbits, motherfucker.

Alpha as fuck.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EBoZq39x) 10/03/12(Wed)00:04:41No.428463614

> 8th grade
> feel like jacking off 
> start beating off under desk
> cant cum give up 
> thank god i was not caught

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 3WMd9ot4) 10/03/12(Wed)00:06:19 No.428463863

Replies:>>428464243

File: 1349237179041.png-(99 KB, 249×349, 1347815837248.png)

 

>>428439017
>be in 3rd grade
>learn about WWII
>us kids decide to create a army over recess
>design medals, all of them swastika based
>one of my beast friends then was jewish
>goes home
>”MOMMY LOOK WHAT I MADE”

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: XtHdSLoU) 10/03/12(Wed)00:06:37 No.428463915

my brother’s story:
>around 6th or 7th grade
>in computer class, typing or whatnot
>substitute teacher that looks like a total faggot
>mspaint.exe
>draw shitty pixel-art of this substitute teacher with a shirt on that says “i love pron”
>set as desktop background at end of class
next week or so…
>principal’s office
>was told that the picture was very offensive and could get in serious trouble
>asked him why it was offensive
>”you wrote ‘pron’ on his shirt, anon.”
>”prawn? whats so offensive about shrimp?”
>got away with it

about 10-12 years later
>meet some guy, tell him the story
>he was an IT guy for the school
>he already knows the story
>THAT WAS YOU!?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: lvoJeW1G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:08:40 No.428464243

Replies:>>428467574

File: 1349237320178.jpg-(18 KB, 249×201, jew cow.jpg)

 

>>428463863
>One of my beast friends
>Jewish
>playing Nazi games
>send him home with a Swastika
>BEAST
>FUCKING ANIMAL

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: B8Ue9twr) 10/03/12(Wed)00:08:51 No.428464270

Replies:>>428464613

>>428463449
>canadian
>alpha

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: lvoJeW1G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:11:08 No.428464613

Replies: >>428465653

>>428464270
Pretty sure Harper walked out on the Iranian government at UN while your pussy country won’t even make a statement until elections are done.

>butthurt
>My balls are huge

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: oJdlg2m/) 10/03/12(Wed)00:11:49 No.428464726

Replies: >>428493936

File: 1349237509688.png-(33 KB, 201×200, wtflaught2323223.png)

 

>Be 6
>At school friday
>Every friday each kid would get to bring a toy
>End of classes
>Everyone started playing and showing their toys to each other
>Playing with best friend with our boats
>A quiet kids right beside us has a shark
>Ask him to play with us
>He doesn’t answer
>Ask for the shark again
>He turns around and keep shaking his shark around
>Get mad
>Ask my friend to hold him
>Take his shark
>Hit him with it
>He starts crying and having some sort of convulsion 
>He had Parkinson’s 
>He starts running shaking all around to bathroom 
>He couldn’t hold
>And as he left class ( Which had glass walls , so everybody saw it) he started shitting
>He was using loose underwear
>The shit started falling and dipping down his legs
>He runned faster while shaking
>Shiteverywhere.gif
>Principals hears sounds
>He heads to his door
>The kid passes right in front of it throwing shit all over
>Principal slips on shit and almost falls
>Mfw all this

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: whj8IJw8) 10/03/12(Wed)00:12:54No.428464881

>>428457828
>defending police and thives
dry af

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 6vi2gnNo) 10/03/12(Wed)00:13:40 No.428465012

Replies:>>428466160

>>428456218
Its only gay if your penises touch.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: mOF1q14S) 10/03/12(Wed)00:14:18 No.428465125

>show up at party already drunk
>no beer. just whiskey.
>no hot girls
>drink… a lot.
>fat girl hits on me.
>play along
>a few minutes in, she makes a sex joke
>call her out on it
>she can’t go. she’s DD.
>I tell her she better hurry up then
>she’s down
>drunkenly figure fucking a girl a few minutes after meeting her sounds like a cool story
>go to my place
>start fucking her half up – whiskey dick plus she’s fat so I’m not attracted
>lose interest.
>she leaves, feeling both unattractive and easy
>turns out she works at my company
>don’t really remember what she looks like
>awkwardly avoid all fat chicks at work

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Qs2+0glF) 10/03/12(Wed)00:15:56No.428465339

>>428434881
lmao!

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: B8Ue9twr) 10/03/12(Wed)00:18:00 No.428465653

Replies: >>428469119>>428485561

>>428464613
>balls are huge
Notatumor.jpg

Also
>pussy country
>wages war with half the world
>not hiding under saftey net of powerful neighbor

Sounds like a pussy to me.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: v9ibOADB) 10/03/12(Wed)00:18:15 No.428465716

>>428433110 (OP)

Related. In grade 1 me and a group of friends would always make fun of some older kid who’s mom died pretty recently. We were told off by a lot of people, but we kept doing it anyway.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: mNl9eRDI) 10/03/12(Wed)00:18:25 No.428465749

Replies: >>428485180

>be 10
>playing police and thieves with friend and some black kid
>black kid says he wanted to be a police
>tell him there aren’t black cops
>friend and I forcé him to be the thief
>he agrees
>we chase him across the park while he runs looking back pretending to shot at us
>got run over by a car
>lul

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Qs2+0glF) 10/03/12(Wed)00:19:35No.428465954

>>428437683
hahahahahah

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: v9ibOADB) 10/03/12(Wed)00:20:27 No.428466114

Replies:>>428466801

>>428436419

Joey?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: /Xd82KRC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:20:41No.428466160

>>428465012
only gay if balls touch

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: vdZx9WQW) 10/03/12(Wed)00:20:45No.428466169

>Be in 8th grade.
>Friend says he can walk like a nazi, fails horribly
>Show him how it’s done.
>Jewish teacher for English walks in.
>Tells me to never do it again
>Fails me because I fought a kid

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: wiK55/bz) 10/03/12(Wed)00:20:49No.428466178

>>428459307
extreme rolf

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 9pQmztO/) 10/03/12(Wed)00:22:17 No.428466418

>be 14
>staying at friends house for sleepover/lan party
>friend’s mom bought new TV stereo
>icanhandlethis.jpg
>finish hooking up new stereo
>go back into buddie’s room
>all my friends laughing and chuckling
>I’m like, “what’s so funny?”
>friend says nothing, one of my buddies farted
>sit down at compy 9000
>wiggle mouse
>wallpaper is giant picture of my penis

All I could say to them was, “Yeah, ok, you got me.” I’ve never saved pictures of my junk on my computer for more than 24 hours ever since.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: QHx8ymAS) 10/03/12(Wed)00:22:21No.428466434

>be in 6th grade
>”vandalise” wikipedia page on school, insulting teacher
>did it numerous times
>teacher dies a few months later of bowel cancer

>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0W66kqdN) 10/03/12(Wed)00:22:48No.428466508

File: 1349238168663.jpg-(19 KB, 238×340, image.jpg)

 

>>428452223
Are you me?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ulU7WE/h) 10/03/12(Wed)00:23:37 No.428466634

Replies: >>428482346 >>428487349 >>428496647

File: 1349238217295.jpg-(52 KB, 597×392, 34847382901.jpg)

 

i was the worst kid….

10-11 snuck into our neighbors house and killed their daughters pet mouse she knew it was me and cried a bunch (she was like 17 at the time)

hid the travelers checks under the bed when we went to my dads country trinidad lied about it they had to get the scary black cops to talk to me to show them where it was

in 4th grade i got in trouble for bringing a penthouse magazine to school because my dumbfuck friend was showing everyone (stole that from the college kid neighbors) shit was so cash)

varous sexual encounters with my sister and her (hot) friend from the ages of 11-15

chased the cat around the yard with a golf club 

thats all i can think of right now, i’ll let you know if i can think of any more…i was a real fucking evil kid

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: C9WYw3PC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:24:46 No.428466801

Replies:>>428478546

>>428466114
Austin?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ITaZ6qfs) 10/03/12(Wed)00:28:17 No.428467369

>be in 6th grade
>very happy and jittery in school -couldnt help it i was a kid who liked to learn-
> History teacher singles me out for tapping my feet one day
> Calls me a squirrel on crack and tells me to stop being annoying
> Whole class laughs at me
> Been depressed and hated school ever since

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 3WMd9ot4) 10/03/12(Wed)00:29:34No.428467574

>>428464243
>my keyboard apparently hate jews

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: SjtT0xVs) 10/03/12(Wed)00:31:54No.428467982

>>428444763

Lol’ed

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: eSUkHxd9) 10/03/12(Wed)00:32:04 No.428468008

>Be in first grade
>Thought it would be funny to shit on floor
>Do it once
>Do it twice
>The third time the person who clean our shit up (literal shit at that point) got t all the classes to ask the kids to stop shitting on the floor.
>Next day every bathroom had shit in it.
>It wasn’t me
>Janitor quits
>mtf

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: C9WYw3PC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:33:33 No.428468284

Replies:>>428472264

File: 1349238813434.gif-(1.15 MB, 260×146, 1344994232376.gif)

 

>be 7
>brothers friend comes over
>hes super polite
>not enough chairs for everyone to sit at table
>he stands
>wow so polite
>next day at school
>everyone is working
>stand up and resume working
>”anon please sit”
>no thats okay
>mfw i found out why it was polite to stand

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 7UaMkaBr) 10/03/12(Wed)00:33:39 No.428468296

Replies: >>428476464

>>428447347

In high school we have this janitor named Steve. I don’t know the other ones, but Steve gets really lonely and he would talk to us kids. My friend was friends with him, and whenever Steve would walk by he would stop and try to have a conversation, or follow said friend around.

Idk if Steve was delayed though. In elementary school our janitor was pretty chill though.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Qs2+0glF) 10/03/12(Wed)00:37:37No.428468919

>>428451648
hahahah nasty lil fucker hahaha

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: lvoJeW1G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:38:48 No.428469119

>>428465653
MAD

LOL

Also, they used to think that Great Britain was pretty badass. Then they turned out to be giant pussies.

And now America can’t step up its shit.

>COME BACK NOV. 7
>KEYBOARD WARRIOR
>EL OH EL

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: /Xd82KRC) 10/03/12(Wed)00:39:11 No.428469181

Replies: >>428484404

File: 1349239151533.jpg-(289 KB, 480×637, penis fruit.jpg)

 

I remember after me and friend played with a dead bird, my mom says it might have had lice
we take a bath naked in the shallow backyard plastic pool
both girls
kids down the street were apparently watching
neighbor family trying to prevent their kids from seeing us and being corrupted into doing stupid shit too
mfw I realize it was a really bad idea, and I forced my friend into it

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: cHZNeRl8) 10/03/12(Wed)00:39:34No.428469230

File: 1349239174122.jpg-(21 KB, 400×267, oohkelelelele.jpg)

 

>Be in sixth grade
>Get first in-class boner
>Fap under desk
>Unnoticed
>Walking by same room previous hour
>Mfw a student is in there alone and she’s licking it.
>Mfw she was 9/10 easily.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: pkfWp1nA) 10/03/12(Wed)00:40:57 No.428469449

Replies: >>428470997>>428472317

File: 1349239257115.jpg-(17 KB, 344×198, piss.jpg)

 

Needs more childhood piss stories, especially accidents, bedwettings, etc.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: OMdMYQ09) 10/03/12(Wed)00:41:14No.428469498

>>428460375
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: X75itVAq) 10/03/12(Wed)00:41:18No.428469512

File: 1349239278824.gif-(1.5 MB, 283×198, 1347326540470.gif)

 

>>428455504

Faggot neckbeard confimed. Good call anon.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FE5NHM2Q) 10/03/12(Wed)00:41:59 No.428469617

>>428453237
I just started college with no programming experience as a cs major and literally 3 people per 40 person class has experience, you’ll be fine.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: qg9schjx) 10/03/12(Wed)00:44:44 No.428470093

One time I greeted my uncle by waving my hands around like a nigger. He told me not to do that.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: zDDnvV5x) 10/03/12(Wed)00:46:13 No.428470352

Replies:>>428471239

File: 1349239573287.jpg-(14 KB, 270×307, 1347684982194.jpg)

 

>Be in elementary school
>skinny nerd fag named Tyler was pissing me off
>I put him in a headlock and DDT’d that bitch
>As his head his the ground he flips 
>Cries like a bitch
>MFW he never told on me

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: qg9schjx) 10/03/12(Wed)00:47:18 No.428470534

Replies:>>428488852

>be 10 or so
>Discover broomstick
>Take tape and make handle,put “chinese writing” on stick
>Get gloves
>pretend to be samurai and beat the shit out of trees.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: GmSXud4X) 10/03/12(Wed)00:47:36No.428470596

>>428437683
This one made my day

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 67vV/7OZ) 10/03/12(Wed)00:48:31No.428470758

>>428447192
The great thing is you can do that and still pass.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: QDgrGaCT) 10/03/12(Wed)00:49:27 No.428470926

Replies: >>428471208

>>428457828

its called fucking grounders. and police and thieves??? fucking cops and robbers. no wonder you guys are stuck on /b/ you couldn’t even fit in when you were children.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: pkfWp1nA) 10/03/12(Wed)00:49:56No.428470997

>>428469449
>>428469449

Please share some someone.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: b6Zdlsdk) 10/03/12(Wed)00:50:34 No.428471112

Replies: >>428472916 >>428473196

File: 1349239834697.jpg-(33 KB, 674×489, 222154_427011310692194_15(…).jpg)

 

.>be in third grade
>learn what sex is from this crazy kid who was my only friend and later got kicked out of school for death threats
>become obsessed with sex
>picture having sex with like everyone I see (I have OCD.)
>be in psychiatrist’s office
>blurt out “I had a bad thought about having sex with you!”
>he laughs and says “I’m flattered, but no thanks.”
>feel insulted suddenly and ask why not 
>he goes and gets my mom
>Get talk on the ride home about how I shouldn’t speak to older men like that and I could get an STD or get pregnant
>mfw I’m like fucking seven

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: dsNkCgcU) 10/03/12(Wed)00:51:05 No.428471208

>>428470926
Why can’t you accept that kids had different names for these games depending on location/school/whatever?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: +YwqPdUS) 10/03/12(Wed)00:51:14No.428471239

>>428470352
should have ended the story with
>and that’s the bottom line because stone cold said so!

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 5s31BAtw) 10/03/12(Wed)00:53:58No.428471685

>be in economics class
>going over homework
>never do homework
>ask someone next to me to copy their work
>homework was one question, a-e
>”Yo, Anon, I wanna see your d”
>referring to section d of question
>mfw everyone thinks i mean his penis
>mfw no face

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: qg9schjx) 10/03/12(Wed)00:54:13 No.428471724

>Be littlish kid. Don’t remember when.
>”ding dong ditch” some old man
>decide throwing some change from cupholder all over guy’s porch would be funny.
>ring doorbell,run etc.
>Old guy drives around looking for us all pissed even though we gave him like 2 bucks.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Euo0XiWG) 10/03/12(Wed)00:54:50No.428471831

Like real girls

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: HwJLUD9B) 10/03/12(Wed)00:55:52 No.428472021

File: 1349240152066.png-(213 KB, 442×341, 1327075823430.png)

 

>end of year seven
>friend has pool party at a public pool for some reason
>be swimmin’ and chillin’
>see some woman
>say, “either she’s really fat or really pregnant’
>don’t realise I’ve said this out loud
>some guy presumably her boyfriend/husband walks past and says, “she’s pregnant you little fuck. Watch your mouth.”
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: D1X19gQ4) 10/03/12(Wed)00:56:00 No.428472041

Replies: >>428472315 >>428473962

File: 1349240160499.jpg-(35 KB, 257×265, 1328677194094.jpg)

 

>Be in 9th grade
>In class, everyone is doing work
>Really want to jack off
>My seat is right smack-dab in the middle of the room
>Hot chick sitting next to me
>Pretend to move my textbook onto my lap and continue reading
>Actually pressing it against my dick to get it hard
>Start applying and removing pressure to my penis to bring myself closer to orgasm
>Focus really hard on mental imagery and sneak discreet looks at the hot chick now and then
>Successfully bring myself to orgasm
>mfw I masturbated in the middle of class without anyone knowing
>Never did it again

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: fslG4qKG) 10/03/12(Wed)00:56:30 No.428472110

I remember in 6th grade, I walked out of class to the bathroom, then proceeded to take a poo. Then, after wiping my ass I rubbed it on the sinks and sink handles and doorknobs out of sheer impulse. Went back to class and the teacher wondered why I was gone for so long, then I got in trouble and they asked if I took the physical turd out of the toilet and used that. I tried so hard not to laugh, I got suspended for that shit…

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: k2MipKsU) 10/03/12(Wed)00:56:48 No.428472157

Replies:>>428473616

Didn’t happen to me, but was pretty funny.
>be 7th or 8th grade
>some sort of drama class
>group of 4, doing shitty ass plays
>me, best friend, 2 girls
>start acting
>one part requires a horse riding motion
>best friend grabs garbage can
>starts riding, looks like hes fucking the garbage can
>teacher walks in
>best friend drops that garbage can like he just got caught masturbating
>teacher just looks at him and laughs
>me and 2 girls loling at how embarrassed he looks
>teacher probably told other teachers
>before he leaves, tells friend not to fuck anymore garbage cans
>only time drama was good 
>mfw we still bug him about it into the 10th grade

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: wI+h46L9) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:05 No.428472201

File: 1349240225847.jpg-(91 KB, 360×333, 1330039197462.jpg)

 

>Be in 1st grade
>Waiting at bus stop to go to school
>See cute girl
>Tooyoungfordatass.jpg
>Bus arrives
>I’m behind her as she’s walking up the steps
>Thisismymoment
>Say to her: “You know, you’ve got a really nice ass”
>She just stares at me
>I’m smiling like an asshole
>She starts smiling too
>Alpha as fuck
>Get on bus
>Look at bus advisory
>She no smiling
>I give her a wink as a gesture of kindness and to tell her I’m only kidding
>didn’t realize how wrong it was to wink in that situation, especially with a dumbass smile on your face
>Get sent to principle’s office
>Principle says “unacceptable behavior, blah, blah, blah”
>Sent home that day with a note to my parents telling them I told a girl she had a nice ass and that I flirted with the Bus Advisory
>Dad reads note
>Looks at me with a blank face
>about to piss myself from fear of discipline
>Dad bursts into laughter, high fives me, and tells me to never do it again
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.png

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8/P01FBe) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:20 No.428472245

File: 1349240240277.png-(161 KB, 283×329, 1348204097518.png)

 

>be 10
>got a go-kart a couple years before for christmas. put a fake little set of police lights on that fucker. bad-assery was had.
>my brother and I were home alone one day (he’s 17 at this time)
>we find some old building material at the back of our land. 
>several large solid concrete blocks, some t-posts used for fencing, rotten boards. 
>we stack these fucking concrete blocks 5 feet high.
>put the t-posts up as ramps. 
>sit the rotten boards up at the top to smash through. 
>i back my go-kart up about 1/4 a mile. 
>mentally preparing for the awesomeness that will ensue. 
>hit the gas.
>get up to at least 30mph or more.
>fucking fast for this little go kart
>hit the ramps….
>ramps slide out from under my cart at the last second
>hit the concrete blocks
>smash through the boards
>get 7-10 feet of pure air somehow
>land – no shock absorption at all on this bitch.
>”my fucking spine!” i yell.
>couldn’t walk straight for days
>still look back and laugh at how easily i could have been killed. 
>mfw I landed and rolled out of the fucking death trap.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: qg9schjx) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:28 No.428472264

Replies: >>428485447>>428496115

>>428468284
I’ve read this 6 times and I still don’t get this. Can you explain this please?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EmEx4O0G) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:35 No.428472287

>Make troll school shooting threat thred on /b/
>”LOL wud be funneh if i post this on myspace!”
>Screencap op, post to myspace
>Next_day.jpg
>English class, reading Beowulf.
>School police knock on door, request me by name
>Teacher “Oh, Anon…”
>Frisk me against chalk board, cuff me and walk me out
>”What site is that again?”
>”Oh, Ebaums, sir. Ebaumsworld”
>Pokerface.jpg
>Suspended 10 days, had to see school district shrink, those cops were cool as fuck
>The Dean was impressed with my attendance record, seeing how he was personally overseeing the truancy problem, he couldn’t understand how I hadnt gone to 3 classes all year
>Schedule was shooped, removed shitty classes. get outta school free card

Ah, hike school.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: pMOn3ePl) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:49 No.428472315

Replies:>>428472405

>>428472041
Geoff?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: pkfWp1nA) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:49No.428472317

>>428469449
>>428469449
>>428469449

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EwJVDsWT) 10/03/12(Wed)00:57:50 No.428472321

>be 6
>molested by uncle only a few years older than me
>don’t even do anything to stop it
>never tell anyone about it
>22 years old, still never told a single person
on a side note, he molested both me AND my brother
neither of us did anything to stop it, and as far as i know, my brother never told anyone either

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: D1X19gQ4) 10/03/12(Wed)00:58:27No.428472405

>>428472315
Nope.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ZFf9HbRO) 10/03/12(Wed)00:58:52No.428472470

>>428460098
She provided entertainment, Tits or GTFO doesn’t apply.

>youmustbenew.jpg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Qs2+0glF) 10/03/12(Wed)00:59:15No.428472549

be in 10th grade
go to the school bathrooms
had a condom in my pocket
fake blood pack in my back pack
popped out the condom and put fake blood all over it
leave it in the bathroom stall toilet
teacher comes in and sees it
starts throwing up
leaves the bathroom
never got cought

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FXlak6g6) 10/03/12(Wed)00:59:28No.428472584

File: 1349240368013.png-(124 KB, 414×410, FunTimes.png)

 

>>428433110 (OP)

I only jumped in this thread to show you this, OP.

Pic related.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8lIf+81A) 10/03/12(Wed)01:00:08 No.428472684

>>428435621
i still take shits naked, we’re the only creatures on earth that don’t and it feel so much better
except when in public, that’s the exception

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:00:13 No.428472704

> be in 6th grade
> girl tells teacher she saw blood in the bathroom
> me the socially awkward guy tries to make a joke
> “lolperiodblood”
> no fucking idea what a period is
> teacher asks do I know what it is
> she then continues to ask do I want to know (retorically like a bitch)
> still joking ; say yes
> ohgodwhy.jpeg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: QHTsZ4i1) 10/03/12(Wed)01:01:33 No.428472916

Replies:>>428497220

>>428471112
tits or gtfo

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:03:25 No.428473196

Replies: >>428473573>>428497265

>>428471112

tits or gtfo whore.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 9O6kmEQx) 10/03/12(Wed)01:05:06 No.428473486

File: 1349240706511.jpg-(35 KB, 370×507, 1348958180968.jpg)

 

>10th grade
>Archery in P.E
>Suck at sports
>super average kid
>Tryhard fag ive known since kindergarten ragging on me in line
>says wont hit shit
>challengeaccepted.png
>get ready to aim
>hold it for around 15 seconds, everyone else held for around 5 or 6.
>faggot hits close to the outer rim
>smack his bullseye.
>say nothing
>not a word from that fag all season

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FcbEIQK2) 10/03/12(Wed)01:05:11 No.428473502

>Be in year 1 or 2.
>Learning about dinosaurs
>Teacher asked if anyone knew this dinosaurs name
*pointed to pic of two dinosaurs butting their heads together.*
>Yell out Butt Heads!
>Everyone laughs.
>Teachers send me to principles office.
>Suspended for a week

Fucking cunty teacher.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: b6Zdlsdk) 10/03/12(Wed)01:05:42 No.428473573

Replies:>>428473860

>>428473196

moobs or gtfo

I know you have them. Please?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:05:56 No.428473616

Replies:>>428476710

>>428472157

underage b& fag

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: C3ma8HE9) 10/03/12(Wed)01:07:01No.428473776

File: 1349240821680.jpg-(28 KB, 555×445, 1326520759615.jpg)

 

>Be 15
>Be with friend in Target
>We get a football
>Play around with the football (you know kids)
>I throw the ball twords him
>He misses the catch (what a faggot)
>Ball bounces off the ground
>Hits and opens the emergency door
>Alarm going off worse than a bank
>I walk slowly into a different isle
>Friend runs out of the store
>See an unlimited amount of Security running around
>Security chases him
>I walk out casually
>Laugh because he got caught

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:07:29 No.428473860

Replies: >>428474262>>428474279

>>428473573

you’ve broken the whore barrier, attention whoring & just whoring.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: iCH3UW6f) 10/03/12(Wed)01:07:53 No.428473905

Replies: >>428474880

>be about 14
>Was at scout camp
>playing game, can’t remember what, but it was a lot of running around
>kid I know was being a dick, tripping people, shoving them over, then acting like it was an accident
>he tries it on me once, fails
>tries to wrap his shin around my leg to trip me again, almost fall, told him to fuck off
>he gets super defensive and screams at me, which gets people’s attention
>he kicks me in the junk. 
>hurts like hell
>VIKING RAGE BURNS IN MY VEINS 
>grab him by the neck and slam him into the ground
>punch him hard in the throat(was aiming for face, but rage missed)
>he got taken to the hospital with some pretty serious injuries
>heard he couldn’t walk right for like 2 months
>didn’t get in trouble because everyone saw him start it
>he never came back

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: P34lT1kC) 10/03/12(Wed)01:08:14 No.428473962

Replies: >>428475243

>>428472041
They knew, dude. What were they supposed to say? You crossed so many fucking lines.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: MfwDHQkz) 10/03/12(Wed)01:09:49 No.428474208

Replies:>>428474269

>>428433110 (OP)
>7th grade
>mom just died of cancer
>dick knowingly makes fun of my dead mom
>call him asshole
>he denies it like a zionist jew
>felt bad rest of the year
fuck him

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: b6Zdlsdk) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:13 No.428474262

>>428473860

What is a whore barrier? Is it like a hundred naked sluts all tangled together with their legs and shit all over each other forming a giant Great Wall of Sodom in order to protect the giant vibrator which they worship as a phallic symbol? I don’t care what it is, that’s what I’m picturing.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:15No.428474269

>>428474208

Image
fuck that guy.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: wI+h46L9) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:19 No.428474279

Replies: >>428475130 >>428484603

>>428473860
Show me where she was being an attention whore, because you obviously don’t know what the fuck attention whoring is, and you have no fucking clue how to use tits or gtfo or who it is to be directed at.
>Summer still has it’s surprises in Autumn

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2YMem3jX) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:26No.428474296

File: 1349241026424.png-(289 KB, 500×500, 1348960847799.png)

 

>be like five or seven
>be playing with younger brother on stairs
>he lays across my feet
>shove him off so i can get up
>he falls down stairs and hits closet
>OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT
>run into grandma’s room
>hide behind curtain for two hours
>never got caught, parents thought his dumb ass fell
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: j+rTp9hf) 10/03/12(Wed)01:10:50No.428474361

>>428437301
Kill yourself

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: pHHIYJ/g) 10/03/12(Wed)01:11:09No.428474419

>>428455243
Kudos for proper grammar…

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: r5qAT53t) 10/03/12(Wed)01:11:23No.428474457

>>428453734
bear grils is that you?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: BeOYeyQ/) 10/03/12(Wed)01:11:26 No.428474469

File: 1349241086437.jpg-(36 KB, 457×462, areyouseriousbitch.jpg)

 

>7 years old, playing at a friends house in his backyard
>gotta poo but not that bad
>keep playing
>really into playing
>suddenly, prairie dogging
>play just a little.. bit… more..
>full sprint for bathroom
>as i am pulling up the toilet lid i lose it
>shit my pants while im staring into the toilet
>cuffs on my pants tight enough to hold mess
>flush toilet and run sink to fool friends mom
>tell her my stomach hurts and i wanna go home
>mom comes to pick me up
>i sit down in the passenger seat with shit filled pants
>before i can tell her what happened, kids knock on my window
>selling chocolate bars for fundraiser
>mom continues talking to them about chocolate bars
>chocolate this, chocolate that
>finally, she makes up her mind and they leave
>asks me whats wrong
>gets pissed at me that i sat in her car without saying anything
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: wAYdCw0I) 10/03/12(Wed)01:13:16 No.428474773

Replies:>>428476349

File: 1349241196190.jpg-(81 KB, 700×460, gayest post of the day.jpg)

 

>>428450785
>act your age

OH WAIT

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: d8ctczu1) 10/03/12(Wed)01:13:43 No.428474839

>be grade 2
>need to take shit like no tomorrow
>brown kid has been out at bathroom for over 20 minutes
>”MISS I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM”
>”no anon you can wait til anon is back”
>brown kid finally comes back
>book it down hallway
>wild principal appears!
>”slow down anon…” and goes on to give me lecture about running in hallways
>gonnashitmypants.jpg
>finally make it to bathroom
>open toilet stall door 
>shit pants
>stuff poop filled undies in pocket
>go back to class
>”whats that smell anon?”
>”my cat pooped on my only good pants today”
>cry to father once out of school

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: +6yuI20P) 10/03/12(Wed)01:14:00No.428474880

>>428473905
Somebody give this bastard a medal.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: swZM6xl9) 10/03/12(Wed)01:14:59 No.428475036

Replies: >>428475612 >>428475692

File: 1349241299250.gif-(429 KB, 464×260, 129969639840.gif)

 

>Be me
>be 5 years old
>9/11
>See the Plaine hit
>Everybody looks at it, not understanding it but notices the teachers face and don’t comment
>I am a fucking dumbass
>As the plaine hits I yell “Ooh! Wow! It is like an action movie!” 
>Teacher looks at me with intense rage
> I notice the teachers anger
>”I need to get this on DVD!”
>My teacher sends me to the principles office.
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: doqcwLZB) 10/03/12(Wed)01:15:18No.428475087

>>428456287
chris is a faggot

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: TjgNMVT3) 10/03/12(Wed)01:15:31 No.428475130

Replies: >>428475709>>428476159

>>428474279

> you have no fucking clue how to use tits or gtfo or who it is to be directed at 

you ignorant fuck tits or gtfo is directed at any fucking ‘femanon’ you dickshit

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: D1X19gQ4) 10/03/12(Wed)01:16:21 No.428475243

>>428473962
If they did, they were good at hiding it for four years. And you know high school kids. At least one person would be talking behind my back about it, and the friends I had wouldn’t have been my friends had they knew.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:16:39No.428475291

File: 1349241399466.jpg-(31 KB, 520×320, nice man.jpg)

 

>>428434881

Thank you, Anon.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 6YAxfQeQ) 10/03/12(Wed)01:16:57No.428475338

File: 1349241417368.jpg-(48 KB, 594×450, 1295900304426.jpg)

 

>>428457519

cool story bro

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: MfwDHQkz) 10/03/12(Wed)01:17:40No.428475443

>>428457652
l0l do u H4cK???

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0yqjJF79) 10/03/12(Wed)01:18:16 No.428475532

File: 1349241496108.gif-(474 KB, 266×150, ZSn0p.gif)

 

>be 16
>doing a interview for a phy with some 15 year old girl
>she was a 6/10 but Idc
>she started talking about skinnydipping and shit
>instant semi
>interview was outside where nobody was watching us
>starting talking about her opinion on sex (fucking smooth as shit, I was)
>told me she was raped by a friend of her brother while camping
>my raging boner fucking die like that
>feelsbadandgoodman.tiff

>fucking school is named wang

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: r+NYYVVE) 10/03/12(Wed)01:18:17No.428475537

>>428441058

Lmao.. Made my night man..

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: iCH3UW6f) 10/03/12(Wed)01:18:42 No.428475612

Replies: >>428476013

>>428475036
Back when 9/11 happened too

>people were flipping shit at school, had no idea what was going on
>people are crying, on phone in class, teachers aren’t around, completely fucking confused
>be loner kid, don’t talk to people, whatever, sit back and play vidiya
>teacher comes in
>”If you want to go home and be with your families you can.”
>Instantly hop out of chair
>”hell yeah, this is the best day over.”
>Everyone glares at me, someone throws something
>just laugh and walk out
>Found out what happened when I got home
>laughed again and played more vidya

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:19:08No.428475692

>>428475036
plaine?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: gNa4F43z) 10/03/12(Wed)01:19:10No.428475701

>be in first grade
>piss teacher off
>she’s easily pissed and fat
>slams door, nobody can leave
>have to shit
>hold it, fat bitch is scary
>shit my pants
>leave shitty underwear on sing in bathroom
>mfw everyone knew it was me

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: XAcLOT7d) 10/03/12(Wed)01:19:12 No.428475709

Replies: >>428476078 >>428476816 >>428476986 >>428488318 >>428506763

>>428475130
No, it’s not faggot. It’s only for the attention whores. It’s faggots like you that make femanons hesitate to tell their stories in fear of the endless TITS OR GTFO.

Kill Yourself.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 1ZYHfNaL) 10/03/12(Wed)01:20:22No.428475881

>>428439017
oh shit never laughed so hard you must be a nigger

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: SIHTnTv/) 10/03/12(Wed)01:20:39No.428475935

File: 1349241639200.jpg-(30 KB, 452×339, 1345825552464.jpg)

 

>>428447320

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: iCH3UW6f) 10/03/12(Wed)01:21:09 No.428476013

>>428475612

>forgot, live in Canada, dunno why people were flipping their shit

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: NK7IaIly) 10/03/12(Wed)01:21:31 No.428476078

Replies:>>428476303

>>428475709
you’re wrong. It’s for any fenanon that posts on here. Now tits or gtfo whore

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: mPp9D6tK) 10/03/12(Wed)01:22:03 No.428476153

>>428433110 (OP)

Spending all my hard earned dope money on cocaine and I never ever even liked coke.

Still gets me a bit when I think of all hundreds of thousands a have wasted on that shit and got little to none out of it.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: wI+h46L9) 10/03/12(Wed)01:22:05 No.428476159

File: 1349241725233.jpg-(13 KB, 236×240, 1336694581158.jpg)

 

>>428475130
>you ignorant fuck tits or gtfo is directed at any fucking ‘femanon’ you dickshit
>directed at any fucking ‘femanon’ you dickshit
>directed at any fucking ‘femanon’
>any femanon
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: MfwDHQkz) 10/03/12(Wed)01:22:07 No.428476162

File: 1349241727581.gif-(92 KB, 160×160,MFW+when+I+see+the+WBC+pi(…).gif)

 

>>428460129
you’re a fucking idiot and are using it wrong, faggot

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: QO116fqh) 10/03/12(Wed)01:23:02No.428476303

>>428476078
you are wrong.now go to sleep james.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0HTan5Uf) 10/03/12(Wed)01:23:17 No.428476332

>be grade 1
>grandma was principal of shitty school in small town
>first day
>go to bathroom and see note saying the stall wasnt working
>see 2 5th graders and grab the note and throw it into the stall and piss on it trying to impress them
>mfw they told on me
>mfw i have no face

also

>5th grade
>be a poor kid
>at lunch kids would always buy chocolate milk
>see that chocolate milk is in unlocked fridge in the gym
>me and my 2 other poor friends steal a few chocolate milks
>huge rush and end up stealing more
>ended up stealing whole fridge of milk
>mfw next day teachers put an announcment up for missing milk

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: z6teoYZs) 10/03/12(Wed)01:23:23 No.428476349

File: 1349241803102.jpg-(550 KB, 850×559, 1343974543638.jpg)

 

>>428474773
Nice to overcome all that shit and get a front row seat. A long term motivator was the message of denial. I would not be denied.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 4l4QscAS) 10/03/12(Wed)01:23:38 No.428476395

Replies: >>428490325

File: 1349241818452.jpg-(14 KB, 500×314, swordofbaddass.jpg)

 

>be 3rd grade
>have tons of friends in neighborhood
>you weren’t cool if you didn’t have one of these lightsabers
>10+ of us go to park in our neighborhood
>run all the filthy 2nd and 1st grade peasants of the big play set with our bad ass sabers.
>park was so close most little kids went unsupervised so there were no parents to yell at us
>have huge free-for-all with a swords crafted by the gods
>sore losers sucker punch their victors
>everyone starts hitting each other harder
>soon, everyone is trying to kill each other
>i pick up on this and sit on a bench and watch the carnage
>mfw I see 10+ 3rd graders beating the shit out of each other with toy lightsabers
>mfw im a lightsaber

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 5pOa/Rdj) 10/03/12(Wed)01:24:12No.428476464

>>428468296
Wait what high school did you go to?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: JLVmeScZ) 10/03/12(Wed)01:24:31No.428476521

>be in kindergarten
>thirsty, hmm waterfountain
>but wait? theres girl at fountain
>punch her in face
>victoriously drink my water
>mom kicks my ass

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: /XXnWP36) 10/03/12(Wed)01:24:38No.428476535

>>428458484
>she bursts into treats
>bursts into treats
>into treats
>treats

Your friend was a bespectacled piñata?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: VSa8Sc3Q) 10/03/12(Wed)01:24:39 No.428476541

Replies: >>428502298

>be 11
> gay buttsex with 2 friends at sleepover

>i honestly cant tell if it was a dream or real lfie because i think ive repressed it so much that i myself, think it never happened

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: iLassCgm) 10/03/12(Wed)01:25:38 No.428476682

>>428447347
All my janitors are old men with that mustache all janitors seem to have
Or a beard, one of the two

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: plWCRly/) 10/03/12(Wed)01:25:52No.428476710

>>428473616
lol

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:26:43 No.428476816

>>428475709
i was always taught that it was for anybody who implied that they have a cunt, or are not a male.

tits or gtfo is applicable to any circumstance or situation when any cumdumpster makes any kind of reference to her gender.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ae4BNrj4) 10/03/12(Wed)01:27:51 No.428476986

Replies: >>428477403

>>428475709
The moment they announce the fact that they are female, it MAKES them attention whores because there is no reason to announce that fact. Jesus fuck get a clue.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:32:20 No.428477403

File: 1349242340555.jpg-(199 KB, 680×794, Rules_83c958_1240031.jpg)

 

>>428476986
yeah, i think rule 31 is pretty clear…theres no clause about attention whoring. if you read the rule, it clearly applies to any female posting anything, even if she doesn’t say she’s a female.

all cumdumpsters should know the rules and just shut up and do it. no whining “oh but i wasn’t trying to be an attention whore” it doesn’t matter, you should take pride in sharing your tits and being a contributing member of /b/

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: AKi60aj1) 10/03/12(Wed)01:32:22 No.428477407

File: 1349242342585.jpg-(114 KB, 735×720, hitlerisamused.jpg)

 

>>428439017

lol On St. Patrick’s Day in 7th grade I drew and cut out a green swastika and taped it to my shirt. I figured “well the swastika means good luck soo”
English teacher was not exactly impressed..didn’t help most of the school thought I was a Nazi because I loved reading books about WWII and in particular Nazis

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: KX7ZcZwr) 10/03/12(Wed)01:33:20 No.428477624

File: 1349242400189.png-(25 KB, 672×1042, pokerface.png)

 

>10th grade
>In 11th grade class
>feel awkward because I don’t know anyone
>Starting quarterback in front of me
>nobody else but me and him on this side of the room
>learning about some god damned American Government
>halfway through class my colon needs to release vespene gas
>loud as fuck 
>everyone stares at quarterback who was sleeping
>he peaks his head up and looks at me
>everyone laughs
>put head down and go to sleep
>class goes on

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: kgQJ7axB) 10/03/12(Wed)01:33:37No.428477674

File: 1349242417092.jpg-(33 KB, 360×240, 1348180267639.jpg)

 

>>428456287
>

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)01:35:47No.428478023

>>428441341
So you’re like 15-16?
reported.
Come back next summer.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EaglUQxu) 10/03/12(Wed)01:36:04No.428478057

>>428455938
nah …..nigga you gay

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: yy9NtIEV) 10/03/12(Wed)01:37:11 No.428478235

Replies: >>428479547

>first job out of college
>boss was this hot asian chic
>had to stay overtime with boss in the office
>boss decided to dress more comfortably
>office layout is ‘L’ shaped with floor to ceiling glass windows with boss’ office on one side and mine next to it
>boss changes clothes and forgot (maybe intentionally) to close the blind thinking the window tinting and afternoon sunset would conceal her from my view
>get huge bonner and fap away while i watch her undress
>came buckets and office smells like jizz because the building air conditioning shuts off after regular office hours
>boss comes out of her office and checks on my work
>she smells the jizz and asks what it was
>tell her the janitor used a new kind of antibacterial spray on trash bin

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: IFI9+fOw) 10/03/12(Wed)01:39:17No.428478546

>>428466801
DUDE!!! This is amazing. Fuck, how you been?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: bXKnnX/O) 10/03/12(Wed)01:40:05No.428478672

File: 1349242805281.gif-(164 KB, 425×417, 1344968032930.gif)

 

>be in 4th grade
>playing tag at a friends house
>decide to throw a rock at a tree
>big ass chunk of concrete
>friend walks in front as soon as i release
>hit friend in the head
>mfw
>freak the fuck out
>he goes inside
>parents said he threw up
>they go to hospital
>i go home
>dont tell parents
>they find out
>flip shit and go to hospital
>my friend had a severed vital artery to his brain
>almost died
>minor brain damage
>still feel fucking horrible about it

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: SjtT0xVs) 10/03/12(Wed)01:40:27 No.428478729

>Be 7 -maybe even younger. 
>Family trip to some shit town 
>Cool cousin comes to the trip with me and my brother 
>Cousin is 14 and so is my brother, they both want to get rid of me but the need to babysit me.
>They say they want to take a walk 
>Parents tell them they have to take me with them 
>FINE 
>We walked for a while and get to this abandoned house 
>House has a big pool and some games for little kids 
>Cousin and brother gets their skateboards and use it on the pool 
>I’m happy as fuck on the slides and little houses they have 
>We do this every time we have a family trip (Maybe every fourth or five months)
>One day we’re on the house playing around
>We hear a car
>Ohshit
>Cousin and brother starts to run away and yelled me to do it too.
>I ran and ran
>Got to house faster
>Cousin got caught
>House isn’t abandoned, its actually for family trips just like ours.
>Owners call the cops
>Cousin comes back home in police car crying
>We even appeared in the local tv news 
>Cousin’s family and mine fight
>No more family trips again
>Cousin hates me
>Cousin hasn’t talked to me or my brother in 14 years

I somehow miss her

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: e2fYQvzt) 10/03/12(Wed)01:40:40 No.428478761

>be in 6th grade (11ish)
>go on school camping trip
>get to ride quad bikes around dirt racing track
>quad bikes really slow
>friend shows me how to rig them to make em go much faster
>i help every1 else rig theirs
>some girl crashes her rigged bike
>shes laying on ground leg cut open crying
>get yelled at by teacher

also

>be at same camping trip
>buddies and i bored one night in cabins
>see light suddenly outside window over tree tops
>we all think is ufo
>go outside to investigate
>realize it was just a truck with its high beams on nearby
>decide to steal girls knickers hanging outside their cabin rooms
>our faces when teacher is doing night watch and catches us
>we get banned from activities for a few days

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: dzm+L93p) 10/03/12(Wed)01:41:41 No.428478906

Replies: >>428479312>>428502997

File: 1349242901254.gif-(17 KB, 400×399, 1270044099396.gif)

 

Be in 8th Grade

>Canadafag so I’ve got french class
>Assignment to come up with things sharks eat in French
>Annoying ass girl keeps asking me to give her words
>Finally had enough so I open the dictionary and kind something stupid
>Tell her it’s french word for tuna
>At the end of class she hands in her paper
>Teacher starts listing the things she wrote down, comes to mine
>Yells out in angry confusion “Jews?!”
>MFW when I told that annoying bitch that sharks eat Jews in French

Not a single fuck was given.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: XZD3amS4) 10/03/12(Wed)01:44:19No.428479297

>Be 14
>Always more aduilt than my friends
>Know shit
>They was talking about vaginas
>Come and explain shit to them
>”WTF GTFO”
>Hated them ever since

Yet it turns they are virgins even those days
I’ve scored 2 years later and get better education
>In_they_face.png

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: AKi60aj1) 10/03/12(Wed)01:44:27No.428479312

File: 1349243067039.jpg-(17 KB, 251×251, blitzkreig!.jpg)

 

>>428478906

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 7UaMkaBr) 10/03/12(Wed)01:44:40No.428479345

>>428458484

I wish if I insulted someone they bursted into treats.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: r9k63OXC) 10/03/12(Wed)01:45:14 No.428479436

>be 7th grade
>out in recess chilling like a boss
>about to go in when big titty bitch confronts me over something that didn’t involve me
>pushes me
>ohshit.jpg
>try to grab her arm. Grab shirt instead
>ripped her fucking shirt in half
>big tits hanging everywhere
>starts crying
>Japanese bitch in our class sees and tells the principle
>get sent to principals office to apologize to her
>wasntevenmyfault.jpg
>laughed when I got out of office
Good times

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: yy9NtIEV) 10/03/12(Wed)01:45:59 No.428479547

Replies: >>428480297

>>428478235
>>428478235
>almost got caught another time after she changes to more casual wear and leaves the office
>i start jerking and all of a sudden boss is back because she forgot something in her office
>had a hard time hiding my boner and couldnt handle the door with my right hand as it was lubed with my boss’ lotion that she keeps on the top drawer of her office desk
>she probably smelled the lotion but didnt say a thing
>after she left i finished fapping and went home
>i miss working for her because she loved to put her feet on top of the table while she works
>sometimes even when she is wearing a skirt
>i come by her desk and she doesnt even put her leg down knowing full well that i can see her panties
>never did try to have sex since i was afraid of loosing my job if i miscalculate her intentions

yeah im so beta. sad.jpg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: YXAfZ0z5) 10/03/12(Wed)01:46:12 No.428479578

>>42843311
Holy shit, someone is using the birthday guy that I drew balls on, I’m so happy. Did you get it from the sticky, or the original thread?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ppyRcADg) 10/03/12(Wed)01:47:01No.428479720

File: 1349243221855.jpg-(23 KB, 200×200, 1343735631127.jpg)

 

>>428435596

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ppyRcADg) 10/03/12(Wed)01:49:30 No.428480081

Replies: >>428480875 >>428481051

File: 1349243370290.jpg-(8 KB, 239×286, squatting02.jpg)

 

i never ever sit on toilets to shit. i put both my feet on the seat and squat, I have always done this and always will. pic related

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: BeOYeyQ/) 10/03/12(Wed)01:50:55 No.428480297

Replies:>>428481613

>>428479547
>ITT, stupid shit you did when you were younger.
>shit you did when you were younger.
>when you were younger.
>young.

>first job out of college

wat

>yeah im so beta. sad.jpg

damn i feel bad for you man

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: XDau3eWW) 10/03/12(Wed)01:51:32No.428480394

I like this one.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: K8sNi9xh) 10/03/12(Wed)01:53:10No.428480606

>metamphetamine

horrible decision

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Hv7tAeDT) 10/03/12(Wed)01:54:44No.428480825

File: 1349243684779.jpg-(28 KB, 331×319, 1272338450886.jpg)

 

>>428460152

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: YOQy4qAf) 10/03/12(Wed)01:55:04 No.428480875

Replies:>>428486543

>>428480081
move to india, faggot.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2Je714co) 10/03/12(Wed)01:55:30 No.428480949

File: 1349243730693.jpg-(24 KB, 381×391, shocked.jpg)

 

>be 8
>live in redneck household
>guns, guns everywhere
>shit-faced parents never locked them up
>sister and I out into garage to find something to do
>see arsenal of firearms displayed on shelves
>shitjustgotawesome.jpg
>sister grabs a .308 rifle
>take sideXside from shelf
>both play in front yard (which was miles of desert)
>gametype select: hide and seek
>sister’s ‘it’
>go hide and wait
>sister passes right by me
>target acquired
>clack
“You’re dead”
>head back to porch to play again
>huge ass lizard on rock nearby
“Let’s kill it”
>sister raises gun and makes obligatory shooting sounds
>target acquired
>pull trigger
BAAAAAWWM
>Lizard fucking disappears
>ofw
>father stubles outside promtly and snatches guns away
>get a well deserved ass whooping later

First chamber wasn’t loaded, but I’d cycled it over to the other which had a round of buckshot after I’d tagged my sister.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: hJ46pK/0) 10/03/12(Wed)01:56:14 No.428481051

Replies:>>428486543

>>428480081
Im going to try this when i get home

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: m2NVrGAn) 10/03/12(Wed)01:56:52 No.428481150

Replies: >>428488245

File: 1349243812175.jpg-(11 KB, 264×197, yep..jpg)

 

>>428463449
My god kill yourself with these tidbits. (suck my dick) also doesn’t have to make sense I’m not a fag from Canada.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: NIwBnNjt) 10/03/12(Wed)01:57:34No.428481240

>be 5ish
>4th of July
>standing on back of couch
>dive off back of couch
>land on the top of my head on the coffee table
>ow my fucking head
>start crying
>mom asks what’s wrong
>i tell her
>calls me a dumb ass
had a headache like a mother fucker in the morning

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: yy9NtIEV) 10/03/12(Wed)02:00:03 No.428481613

Replies:>>428482510

>>428480297
>younger… not young.

wat

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: vp/1d8Ff) 10/03/12(Wed)02:02:30No.428481961

>>428454702
das cool

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Hv7tAeDT) 10/03/12(Wed)02:05:18No.428482346

>>428466634
Do you regret it?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: BeOYeyQ/) 10/03/12(Wed)02:06:37No.428482510

>>428481613

so how old are you now then? 

you still fap at work as a grown ass man?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: vp/1d8Ff) 10/03/12(Wed)02:10:52No.428483038

>>428457773
you little fuck

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 424Rrmmz) 10/03/12(Wed)02:13:07No.428483312

>>428433110 (OP)

Lol. That must is why? I yes. Haha

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EwOSdNxe) 10/03/12(Wed)02:16:03No.428483686

File: 1349244963867.jpg-(132 KB, 400×399, gro.jpg)

Image

 

>>428435621
>would sneeze upward and let it hit me cause it felt cooling.
>mysides

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: R4Ujm0Gs) 10/03/12(Wed)02:16:18No.428483720

>be in 10th grade
>talking shit about some faggot
>friends and I laugh
>didn’t know his sister was in my class
>8/10 would bang
>was working my way in with her
>seals my fate

I still regret that shit.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: wEwCWVJM) 10/03/12(Wed)02:19:54 No.428484178

>be 9 years old
>blackmailed my brother to let me play the playstation all day or else i’d take a picture of his ass and show it to everyone
jesus christ i was such a fucking faggot, i’d punch my self if i could go back in time

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 41buVpmx) 10/03/12(Wed)02:21:31 No.428484403

File: 1349245291246.png-(159 KB, 448×336, Laugh Mitchell 2.png)

 

>Be 7th grade
>friends mix milk and juice in the juice cups with bread or lettuce or whatever
>call it buttjuice
>keep it in an empty locker on first floor
>accumulate more
>buttjuice locker starts to smell
>make map and plan to take it outside to the playground and bury it
>locker smelled a year later

Also

>be 7th grade, in K-12 school with recess
>AAWWWWWWWWWW YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHH
>field/playground close to interstate
>across the street was a wall, over that was busy highway
>throw grapes, tomatoes, bananas, apples, trying to hit cars
>one day friend throws bowl of chili
>never hit anything

>Be 7th grade
>try to steal girls sneakers because how else do you flirt?
>crawl under like…a felted bleacher-type furniture piece in a laid-back classroom to take shoes
>dirty under here
>find 500 Pesos
>Didn’t need to take shoes

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:21:31 No.428484404

Replies:>>428496980

>>428469181
Tits or gtfo bitch

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EpRr5VTF) 10/03/12(Wed)02:22:05No.428484458

>>428437683
bullshit

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: tMqhw4e8) 10/03/12(Wed)02:23:05No.428484603

>>428474279
White knight faggot alert

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: e5TfBJjB) 10/03/12(Wed)02:23:07 No.428484608

Replies:>>428488373

File: 1349245387644.jpg-(51 KB, 297×411, hamboigahs.jpg)

 

>Be 13
>Be weird goth kid
>in gym class playing basketball
>hot girl walks up to me and asks me if I want to play with her
>though she was kidding and pelted her in the face with the basketball
>broke her nose
>blood everywhere
>Dad had to pay bills
>Got ass beat, and girl is still a bitch to me 10 years later.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EjlYUxbZ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:26:11No.428485003

>>428435701
MY. 

NIGGA. 

STRONGBAD UP IN THIS BITCH.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EwOSdNxe) 10/03/12(Wed)02:26:59No.428485105

File: 1349245619610.jpg-(71 KB, 713×534, redd.jpg)

 

>>428450785
>AMA

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:27:35 No.428485180

>>428465749
haha awesome! wish i was there to capture the moment…

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 3JbQFDVR) 10/03/12(Wed)02:29:33 No.428485437

>>428433638
i remember a few random ones of other kids so im sure they have some of me

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: mSDKmabP) 10/03/12(Wed)02:29:36No.428485447

>>428472264

Seconded, I don’t understand it either.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:30:26 No.428485561

Replies: >>428485871

>>428465653
>>wages war with half the world
haha wut wut?? WUT?
by half the world you mean a couple of shitty arab countries where people live in huts made of dirt still? USA is by far the most pussy country ever. Never have you once fought a REAL war, by REAL war i dont mean invading third world countries.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: hVxTqe21) 10/03/12(Wed)02:32:13 No.428485802

File: 1349245933334.jpg-(30 KB, 394×507, tom.jpg)

 

>be in 7th grade
>douche kid in 8th grade is on a computer in a the commons area
>see him laughing and typing furiously on the comp
>next day principal corners me and questions me about what kid was doing on the computer
>freeze in terror in fear of not being cool, just tell him idk what he was doing 
>turns out he hacked the computers and deleted a bunch of shit and fucked up the entire whole schools servers (have no idea what he actually did, dont remember)
>supposedly caused $20,000 in damages

Fast Forward
>10th grade
>he asks me to join his band
>mfw he becomes my best friend
>record 2 albums
>do gigs n stuff
>best years ever

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xk6hFa5c) 10/03/12(Wed)02:32:43 No.428485871

Replies: >>428486696

>>428485561
Revolutionary war, War of 1812 French and Indian war, Spanish-American war, WW1, WW2, Korean war, and there were some other inconsequential wars in between that I’m leaving out.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EpRr5VTF) 10/03/12(Wed)02:35:05No.428486175

>>428458484
>burst into treats
you’d cry too if you were suddenly a milky way.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ppyRcADg) 10/03/12(Wed)02:37:54 No.428486543

>>428480875
>>428481051
Humans have squatted for most of human history—several hundred thousand years—we’ve squatted. Toilets have not been around for a very long time. The Vikings and shit all squatted and crapped in the woods you wouldn’t tell them to ‘go back to india’

Science. Lrn2du it.

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2010/08/dont_just_sit_there.html

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EpRr5VTF) 10/03/12(Wed)02:38:45 No.428486643

>>428460218
underage b&. your girlfriend’s mom is driving you places gtfo

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:39:06 No.428486696

Replies: >>428487204

>>428485871
>Revolutionary war
Revolutions happened many times in Europe even long before America was even discovered, only you us-fags call it “war”
>ww1
You didnt do shit.
>ww2
You didnt do shit.
Please stop taking credit for the work of Russia, damn.

Please all amerifags kill yourself, you have been brainwashed from the day you are born, the world is nothing like you have been told it is, or have ever been. You like in a zombie-state only to never question your government and think USA is the greatest country in the world. just kill urselfs please.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: SNOl+rM/) 10/03/12(Wed)02:40:41No.428486886

>Be in 9th grade
>Kid says mildly insulting
>Being a creative fuck, I say “yeah well your mom”
>His mom is dead and his dad is an alcoholic

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: +0P+oQG5) 10/03/12(Wed)02:41:15No.428486968

>be taking some bs test in 2nd grade
>a million gallons of pee want to burst out of my wiener
>ask teacher if i can use the toilet
>she says no because she is a huge cunt
>open the flood gates
>what did that bitch expect

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xk6hFa5c) 10/03/12(Wed)02:43:10 No.428487204

Replies: >>428487613 >>428491174

>>428486696
We call the Revolutionary war a war because we declared independence before heavy fighting started, every British action after that point was just them attempting to invade us. WW1, you’re right we didn’t do much.
WW2, you’re right if we are talking about the European front, but I regret to inform you of the existence of the other half of the world, where we were the only ones fighting, as a direct result that was decreased man power as well as resources, as opposed to Russia which could devote 100% of there resources to the war against Nazi Germany.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: O3zqo/dv) 10/03/12(Wed)02:43:21 No.428487218

Replies: >>428499339 >>428500706

>year 1
>throw brick at girl called rosie
>break her ankle
>ohshitohshitohshit
>she is moving house next day and i dont get in trouble at all

>year 5
>we have stream running through garden
>some friends come over and we play in garden
>we are around stream and i pretend i’m falling in, doing the whole cartoon flailing arms going whoa whoa
>fall in like a dumbass

>year 6
>have roller blades, love them, get pretty good for a 10 yo
>live on a hill and near a big hill
>have time of my life going up and down my hill
>attempt bigger hill with my little bro on his scooter
>going down hill, feel wind in my arms feel like the wind itself
>alot more hill left
>1/2 way down too fast and i realise there isnt an incline at the bottom of the hill to slow me, there is a crossroads.
>see lamp post
>i can grab that shit to stop myself
>smash headfirst into lamp post
>wake up few minutes later. head bleeding, being dragged back home by my bro, tears in his eyes cos he thought i was dead.
>go to hospital, mild concussion, dont be idiot speech from parents
>fucking love my brother, i’d take a bullet for him

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EpRr5VTF) 10/03/12(Wed)02:44:22No.428487349

>>428466634
not greentext, did not read

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: lVMxcX63) 10/03/12(Wed)02:44:40 No.428487386

File: 1349246680871.jpg-(61 KB, 540×720, allik4.jpg)

 

>7th or 8th grade, dont remember
>out camping with the class
>teacher and some A grade students sleep in a big ass tent
>me and my friends go shit a big pile of crap infront of the tent
>make the tent collapse
>teacher and students crawl out, 1st thing they feel is our warm shit under their arms and legs
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:46:23 No.428487613

Replies:>>428488190

>>428487204
>steal worlds first nuke from germany
>drop nuke over japan
>take credit for creating the nuke
>act like we fought hard
>cry about pearl harbour buuuhuuu
>rly didnt do anything in ww2

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: QrBowqLB) 10/03/12(Wed)02:50:53No.428488160

>Be 15
>Doing Indoor cross country with benches and shit
> Run forward jump over bench majesticly
> Lose footing after landing
> Spin in fucking circles
> Straight into wall, everyone laughing
> Get back up, dizzy as fuck
> Walk into cone falls again
> Gets up again
> Realize I have my shorts on inside out
> Run out class everyone laughing
> I whistled for a cab
> and when it came near the 
License plate said “fresh” and had a dice in the mirror 
>If anything I could say that this cab was rare 
>But I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-air!

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xk6hFa5c) 10/03/12(Wed)02:51:05 No.428488190

Replies: >>428488461 >>428488578 >>428488597

>>428487613
We didn’t steal the first nuke, Nazi Germany was unable to finish development of the atomic bomb as British agents bombed an integral supply of heavy water, a substance which takes a long time to produce. We didn’t even still the concept, though the concept came from German scientists, those concepts were developed before the Nazi party had control of Germany, during peace time, Germany and America both just made logical deductions from that point and found the route to making an atomic bomb.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: vgaoW7mW) 10/03/12(Wed)02:51:44No.428488245

>>428481150
I think some amerifat is butthurt

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EpRr5VTF) 10/03/12(Wed)02:52:21 No.428488318

>>428475709
sounds like you sympathize with the plight of the modern woman…..

kill yourself

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: vgaoW7mW) 10/03/12(Wed)02:52:51 No.428488373

Replies:>>428489381

>>428484608
> she probably deserved it the slut

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: O3zqo/dv) 10/03/12(Wed)02:53:39 No.428488461

Replies:>>428488998

>>428488190
you lost vietnam war.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: cmyiiQJz) 10/03/12(Wed)02:54:50 No.428488578

Replies: >>428488998

>>428488190
These British agents were actually Norwegians. Norwegians sabotaged a ship containing some water they produced in the Norwegian mountains which stopped the production of the first nuclear bomb. Not England my good sir.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)02:55:01 No.428488597

Replies: >>428488998>>428489196

>>428488190
Worst try of justifing the theft of the a-bomb ive ever seen.
YOU STOLE THE NUKE, simple.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: X/OLiLdG) 10/03/12(Wed)02:56:51 No.428488802

Replies: >>428493463 >>428494013

>Be 12
>Live in country, nothing to do but play outside and play nintendo
>Outside with big brother
>We (for some fucking retarded reason) are discussing whether or not we could live in a tree
>Me: “How would you go to the bathroom?”
>Him: “Just go off of a branch, retard.”
>”What about pooping?”
>”Shit off of a branch.”
>”No one would do that dude.”
>”I could do it.”
>”Bullshit.”
>”Well, I bet you couldn’t do it.”
>Time to get cocky
>”Yeah I could!”
>”Oh yeah? Do it from that tree.”
>Points at apple tree
>Me: “Ok, fine.”
>Climb up tree
>Drop pants
>Shit off branch
>fuckyeah.jpg
>See abusive mother marching toward me from the house
>fuckno.jpg
>Pull pants up (shit still on ass)
>Jump off of branch
>Land on my feet in my own shit
>”WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ANON?”
>”Nothing…”
>Grabs arm, jerks me to tree
>”WHAT IS THAT?”
>She points to where the turd should have been
>It was stuck under my shoe
> disappearingpoo.jpg
>She disregards it, yanks me inside
>Screams at me while I sit naked in the bathtub
>I tell her whole story
>She says: “If you want to live in a tree so bad, you can sleep in it.”
>Makes me climb up tree that night with a blanket
>Stood in tree with blanket
>Couldn’t sleep at all
>Counted cars to pass time
>Counted to around 15
>Sun started coming up
>Mom eventually came out and told me to get my ass inside

tl;dr shit out of tree because of brotherly competition and then slept in it as punishment due to crazy mom

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: kHF3ET+e) 10/03/12(Wed)02:57:01 No.428488831

Replies: >>428505697

File: 1349247421772.gif-(49 KB, 387×292, oh_snap.gif)

 

>Be in 3rd grade
>School project: Make a space ship
>Fucking UFO bitch!
>Glue two paper plates together, spraypaint that shit gold
>Put on little windows and shit
>Happy as fuck
>Walk into school the next day
>Bitchy chick walks up “Aliens aren’t real”
>”Yes they are”
>”Nuh uh. Have you ever seen one?”
>”No. But have you ever seen God?”
>Entire class hears
>I live in Bible-town, Indiana
>MFW
>Repeatedly bullied by kids for being an atheist
>Teacher thinks I’m troubled
>Calls in Christian parents
>Tells them I told kids god isn’t real
>Parents be like “… Okay”
>Teacher be like “What?? That’s all you gonna say mothafucka??”
>”Yeah, we let our kids make their own decisions. And if you have a problem with that, we’ll just let the principal know we’re pulling him out”
>Teacher like “OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD”
>Apologizes profusely
>I still got bullied for about 3 years though
>Feelsbatman

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: NIwBnNjt) 10/03/12(Wed)02:57:10No.428488852

File: 1349247430060.png-(231 KB, 427×339, Double D.png)

 

>>428470534
>”chinese writing”
>pretend to be samurai
>MFW Samurais are Japanese

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: /+tNCqaO) 10/03/12(Wed)02:57:49No.428488932

>>428434881
Holy fuck I lost

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 3JbQFDVR) 10/03/12(Wed)02:57:52No.428488940

>>428453242
>amazing friend
>didn’t know mom killed herself
>imsure

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xk6hFa5c) 10/03/12(Wed)02:58:25 No.428488998

Replies: >>428491497

>>428488461
Yes but our goal was not to win the Vietnam war, look at the global playing field at that time, our end goal was winning the Cold war, the Vietnamese war as well as the Korean war can be thought of as just skirmishes in that regard.
>>428488578
I’m aware that they were Norwegian agents, but they were answering to orders from the British intelligence agency of that ere, thus there actions could arguably be attributed to the British, I also never claimed that this took place in England.
>>428488597
We started development of the atom bomb at the same time, we didn’t steal it. We did, however steal the rockets from them.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: rEiQd0Il) 10/03/12(Wed)02:59:53 No.428489165

Replies: >>428489473>>428489648

> be in 1st grade
> hang around on playground with male friends
> (be only female in friend-group)
> get dared to take off clothes
> take off clothes, stand on see-saw spread-eagle so the guys could see
> look at window of school-building
> ENTIRE CLASS LOOKING OUT AT ME

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)03:00:07 No.428489196

Replies: >>428489509

>>428488597
No you stole it, and the haunebu project aswell just like the rockets. amerifats havent developed anything on their own, just steal ideas and act all awesome about it

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: g0MFJw0t) 10/03/12(Wed)03:01:37No.428489369

>>428452598
is your name cody?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: e5TfBJjB) 10/03/12(Wed)03:01:47 No.428489381

File: 1349247707456.jpg-(83 KB, 900×557, 2019729-hamboigahs_everyw(…).jpg)

 

>>428488373
She does have herpes.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: yt4ezdNZ) 10/03/12(Wed)03:02:48No.428489473

>>428489165
dare you to get nude and take pics, spread butthole pls

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xk6hFa5c) 10/03/12(Wed)03:03:12 No.428489509

>>428489196
Einstein himself acted as chief adviser for the Manhattan project, I will admit to Americas stealing of a lot from Germany, but not the atom bomb, as development for the atom bomb started at roughly the same time for both nations.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: afbnA/wM) 10/03/12(Wed)03:03:35 No.428489546

Replies: >>428489819

>>428433110 (OP)

stole a fire extinguisher from some dudes house, covered a car in fire extinguisher shit, ran, took my shirt off picked up a brick from some construction, ran up to an automatic light from outside a house and beat the shit out of it with teh brick, all on tape, house owner comes out, calls me a motherfucker and i pound his ass to the ground then run again and flying knee a car’s rearview mirror, sprint 3 blocks to a casino, lose 10 soles (peru currency) ask for drinks until it closes then stumble 14 blocks home, all in about an hour. was a retarded 17 year old

>regret nothing.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)03:04:30 No.428489648

Replies: >>428489715

>>428489165
pics with time stamp if you please. need to confirm you are a female and not a trap.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: rEiQd0Il) 10/03/12(Wed)03:05:19 No.428489715

Replies:>>428489804

>>428489648
not camwhore, sorry bro.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 75YQD1cR) 10/03/12(Wed)03:05:32No.428489737

>Be 11
>Be a furfag
>Drew MS Paint furry porn
>Homeschooled

5 years later and I’m still ashamed.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: MgKdQ1gF) 10/03/12(Wed)03:06:04 No.428489793

>grade 1
>neighbor challenged me to a distance-spit contest
>trainingmontage.jpg
>decide to challenge him again today
>start collecting saliva from the beginning of the day
>I can barely contain it all at once
>We’re doing some shit project involving animals
>teacher asks me what animal i choose
>fuckitman.gif
>”rhinocerous”
>Saliva flowing fucking everywhere. on my clothes, on the carpet, on my desk, on the chair, fucking everywhere
>My teacher freaks out
>I tell her some bullshit disease as an excuse
>mfw nobody in my class saw it except my teacher

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)03:06:11No.428489804

>>428489715
fair enough femanon fair enough

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: ZGxqBSMP) 10/03/12(Wed)03:06:11 No.428489805

>be 11
>browsing internet
>google anime games
>come across gaiaonline

I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’ve grown out of that faggy weabooish phase, but goddamn those memories still haunt me.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: JcttOdA1) 10/03/12(Wed)03:06:22No.428489819

>>428489546
nothing never happened as much as this didn’t happen

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)03:06:45 No.428489875

File: 1349248005932.jpg-(23 KB, 248×320, 1349243495232.jpg)

 

>mfw when great success making this thread anti-american ww2 thread.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: BtHKrev+) 10/03/12(Wed)03:06:53No.428489889

File: 1349248013910.jpg-(44 KB, 500×629, 1327883574541.jpg)

 

>Be in 7th grade
>Watch video about WWII
>Cheer when Hiroshima is bombed
>Teacher makes me sit outside the class
Felt like a tool.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: IFQZR/Ld) 10/03/12(Wed)03:07:28No.428489961

File: 1349248048565.jpg-(17 KB, 267×200, 1347931048430.jpg)

 

>>428440282
that feel
maybe you should stop saying that shit

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 1x2hfgt1) 10/03/12(Wed)03:08:04 No.428490027

>>428440057
sadly at my school you can’t get away with shit, they use remote desktop to periodically check what you’re doing. I bring in my own laptop and use a wifi hotspot off my phone, fuck em’

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: AZ6vWLfp) 10/03/12(Wed)03:08:05 No.428490032

Replies:>>428491418

>in kindergarten
>have this treehouse bookclub thing that you have to climb a ladder to get into
>if you were a good student they let you go in there and play
>i finally get to go there
>me and a couple of other people
>some fat bitch starts climbing the ladder 
>she wasnt even allowed to play in the treehouse
>fuck that shit theres no room for that land whale
>just as shes about to climb in i push her off
>she goes plumetting down, could have sword i heard a sonic boom
>falls on her back so hard the books fall off the bookshelves
>cries and has to go to nurse
>dont get caught
>teacher just though she lost her grip
>enjoyed the rest of my time in the treehouse

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: FA7w8xfo) 10/03/12(Wed)03:08:53No.428490121

>>428441058
Funniest shit so far.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: e5TfBJjB) 10/03/12(Wed)03:08:53 No.428490124

File: 1349248133950.jpg-(72 KB, 468×683, hamboigahs (1).jpg)

 

Another story!
>Be 7, staying at my friends house
>His mom is a crack whore and left
>Made friend suck my dick
>He is gay now.
Also
>Be 10, “dating” ugly girl
>Get made fun of on the bus because of it
>She tries to sit next to me one day
>Gave that bitch a kick in the nose, bitches love kick in the nose.
>Kids always chanted “Whitney got dumped by, _______”
Another?
>Be with my little brother at a friends house
>About 14 and 12
>His friend is 400 pounds and watching porn
>Got mad because I told him he couldn’t get any giney if he tried
>Sat on me
>Brother kicked his head like a soccer ball and we ran home, kid had to go to hospital for concusion.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: WUq7zlD2) 10/03/12(Wed)03:10:32No.428490306

>Be in 8th grade
>Middle of mass class
>Really strict teacher
>Needs to piss really bad
>Raises hand and tells her I need to pee
>No
>”I really need to pee!!!”
>No
>”YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME?!”
>She says i have detention
>End up pissing my pants and failing math

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: vp/1d8Ff) 10/03/12(Wed)03:10:47No.428490325

>>428476395
the good ol’ days

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)03:14:51No.428490728

>>428435596
so much this

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: VsRVCMRn) 10/03/12(Wed)03:17:33 No.428490996

Replies: >>428493439

>Be four
>At chinese restaurant with my family
>This is the first time we’ve gone as a family
>Mother decided to read the placemat thing that says what you are by the year you were born
>All of my family goes on saying what they were, dragon, rat, etc.
>Now everyone else has and it’s my turn and I practically YELL.
>”I’M A COCK!”
>Family leaves in shame
>I dont remember it, but they wont let me forget.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: lwbELS2J) 10/03/12(Wed)03:18:15No.428491075

I capped that. Thank you anon.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)03:19:14 No.428491174

>>428487204
>We call the Revolutionary war a war because we declared independence before heavy fighting started, every British action after that point was just them attempting to invade us.
Terrible justification for calling it a war. That type of shit happens all the time, but every other country calls it a revolution. You can say it was a war, and therefore all those other revolutions were also wars, that would be a legitimate argument, but the argument you chose there was weak.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Y0BfwzNw) 10/03/12(Wed)03:20:30 No.428491307

File: 1349248830605.png-(298 KB, 406×406, 1323838755004.png)

 

>8th grade
>in my class there’s really small kid with a horrible cases of little man’s disease is a total ass
>no one in class but me, someone who doesn’t matter and the little guy who was talking to the guy who doesn’t matter
>the little guy is holding his pen with his fingers over and under it
>said hand on a desk he’s leaning on
>neither of them looking
>fuck this little bitch
>slam my math textbook as hard as I can on his hand
>break his finger
>OH SHIT IM SORRY I DIDNT SEE YOUR HAND THERE
>no one ever suspects it was on purpose

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: AZ6vWLfp) 10/03/12(Wed)03:21:28 No.428491418

Replies: >>428503610

>>428490032
another one

>in 6th grade
>not feeling to well that whole day
>terrible stomach ache
>shit starts seeping out of my ass
>whole classroom smells like death
>teacher looking around trying to figure out why, kind find the source
>class lets out but i have Physical Education for my last period
>coach is there that day so they just make us walk around campus picking up trash
>more shit starts seeping out
>by now my stomach is rumbling so loudly people think there is an F18 flying overhead
>fuck it i cant make it im just gonna ditch and walk home
>start walking home, 20min walk
>oh god im not gonna make
>elementry school nearby is my only option
>school had let out a few minutes ago so it was crowded with kids, nobody noticed me walk in
>where the damn bathroom!?
>find it
>the toilets are designed to fit little kids, they look like little teacups
>by now my shit was squirting out like the Belagio Fountains
>in one switft motion i drop my pants and unleash my feces
>sounds like a gunshot
>ahhh i feel much better now
>look into the toilet…oh fuck
>its overflowing with shit looks like a mountain
>wipe my ass and run out

i can just imagine the janitor walking in and thinking “jesus christ! how did a 5yr old kid shit so much!”

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: msrnl6gh) 10/03/12(Wed)03:21:43 No.428491452

>>428433110 (OP)
similar
>6 years ago
>See coworker has bubble thing forming on face. 
>”What is that cancer shit on your face man?”
>Coworker: “It’s a cancerous growth. I’m going to need surgery to have it removed.”
>Pause. Everyone in room expects me to apologize.
>”Oh, well I guess I called it.”
>Awkward as fuck silence.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: oYlTk4cy) 10/03/12(Wed)03:22:06 No.428491497

>>428488998
>Yes but our goal was not to win the Vietnam war
lol. Yup, countries join wars with the intention of losing all the time.

Just say you lost the battle but won the war, but don’t say you lost on purpose.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: MLhmQ5li) 10/03/12(Wed)03:22:37 No.428491563

File: 1349248957760.jpg-(60 KB, 240×207, Replacement_Boards.jpg)

 

>girls birth day party
>Stuff vineger and baking soda into my pockets 
>Grab the cake from the table and run with foam spraying out of my pockets
>Jump off the diving board with the cake into the pool 
>Shit everywhere

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: rU5gfauM) 10/03/12(Wed)03:24:31No.428491752

>be 12
>at cousins house
>hot aunt takes cousin to soccer practice
>stay at her house
>go through panty drawer.
>sniff.gif
>find hot looking shoe
>stick little dick in it
>sniffshoe.gif

Dafuq 12 year old me.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 2bCkFtTf) 10/03/12(Wed)03:24:36 No.428491762

Replies: >>428492207

i remember i was in 5th grade
whole class was supposed to be going on a field trip on a ferry across the bay to the city
my 5th grade teacher was a grimy bitch, ate pudding with a pencil, rubbed crotch on corner of desks, painted nasty ass toenails in class.
got mad at her a few days before field trip
called her a stupid cunt
sent to principal, wasn’t allowed to take trip
(pissed)
suspended for 3 days, mom pissed made me stay at aunt&uncles.
had to clean dog shit in backyard for punishment
scooped that shit like a professional
didn’t throw out, kept outside in brown bag.
brought brown bag to school when suspension ended
apologized to teacher, gave her brown bag gift.
the woman looked genuinely astounded, like i had an epiphany or some bullshit
opened bag, looked like she was about to puke
laughed
got suspended again

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: EOkUb1rX) 10/03/12(Wed)03:27:40No.428492057

>half way through first year high school
>sick of this shit
>me and my friend start skipping classes a lot
>some bitch rats us out
>principal calls home, no one there, leaves message
>fucking sprint home after school
>delete message
>OFFTHEFUCKINGHOOK.jpg
>a week later my friends mom tells my mom
>mfw

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)03:29:08No.428492207

>>428491762
Aaaah, wonderful. +100 internets to you

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: LmEwqEKL) 10/03/12(Wed)03:30:05 No.428492301

Replies:>>428492906

File: 1349249405343.jpg-(14 KB, 220×298, 220px-Skrillex.jpg)

 

> Be 14.
> In chemistry class.
> Doing experiment.
> Friend asks me to pass him an alkali.
> It slips from my hand.
> Mfw i dropped the base.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: icImVniW) 10/03/12(Wed)03:30:46 No.428492373

File: 1349249446562.jpg-(33 KB, 368×348, 1347731973655.jpg)

 

>be like 13 or 14.
>let younger brother borrow xbox.
>older brother somehow misconstrues something I said to make it seem like I gave him permission to sell it.
>a few days later, I notice it’s missing.
>older brother tells me he sold it to a friend because my younger brother wanted some money to buy candy and yugioh cards.
>complain to parents about it, they make my brothers buy it back.
>literally never use it again.

Looking back on it now, I probably should have just let it go.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: pPyTf+0b) 10/03/12(Wed)03:35:23No.428492846

File: 1349249723461.jpg-(60 KB, 900×700, thefuck.jpg)

 

>>428441058

>be 4
>chilling in garden
>kid is plaing in the kiddy swimmingpool
>check out what he’s doin
>stands up, hard cock
>shoves it in my face
>the fuck just happened
>mfw I was raped by a 10 year old

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 54e6dJsB) 10/03/12(Wed)03:35:59No.428492906

File: 1349249759012.jpg-(24 KB, 450×300, yolo.jpg)

 

>>428492301
LOL HOLY SHIT

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8ma6KxtP) 10/03/12(Wed)03:36:59No.428493023

File: 1349249819237.jpg-(70 KB, 750×421, 1306223608880.jpg)

 

>>428445724
>honey badger
kill yourself

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: XjqBWHmB) 10/03/12(Wed)03:39:56 No.428493318

>be in 8th grade
> maniacal and into deaths and shit
>ignores the fact that the teacher is talking about the Holocaust
>I distinctly hear “explosions”, “death”, and “war”
>somehow think we’re gonna watch an action movie
>”Awww yeah, that’s sweet.”
>ridiculed the whole rest of the day for being insensitive

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: dcfOSyDF) 10/03/12(Wed)03:41:14No.428493439

>>428490996

….batman…?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: OpBpPt9P) 10/03/12(Wed)03:41:32 No.428493463

Replies:>>428494946

>>428488802
your shit mother sounds like a cunt

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: evLff+Ij) 10/03/12(Wed)03:46:24 No.428493924

Replies: >>428494105

>Be four
>At Marshall’s with mum, shopping and shit
>Suddenly, mustache lady
>Mfw WTF is that 
>Mum sees my look of shock and confusion
>ohshit.jpg
>Hey mum?
>IGNORE
>HEY MUM?!
>IGNOOOORE
>MUM WHY DOES THAT LADY HAVE A MUSTACHE?
>Mustache beast glares
>MFW I’m four and I just wanna know why that fatass has a fucking caterpillar growing on her face

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Srd6eIF7) 10/03/12(Wed)03:46:34No.428493936

>>428464726
troll, parkinson’s affect after the age of 50
try harder faggot

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)03:46:35No.428493937

>>428455015
>your a faggot
>your a 
>your

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 17f5QlDQ) 10/03/12(Wed)03:47:20 No.428494013

Replies:>>428494946

>>428488802
>kill mom
>???
>profit

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: evLff+Ij) 10/03/12(Wed)03:48:32 No.428494105

>>428493924

Heres another

>Be three
>Aunt and cousins take me shopping
>I fucking hate shopping
>Here anon, try this on!
>Fuckclothesfuckyou.jpg
>Go into fitting room
>Get completely naked
>Fling underwear over the top of my fitting room
>Run out of the fitting room
>Still naked
>LETTHECHASECOMMENCE
>Mfw I was streaking at age three in the middle of a crowded mall on a Saturday and gave no fucks

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)03:49:24 No.428494182

>>428455938
congratulations faggot, you molested and traumatized your brother.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: F99X76Gq) 10/03/12(Wed)03:54:53 No.428494642

>be not very old
>Girl in class’ dad just died in a traffic accident
>teacher makes us paint a picture for her
>dunno what to paint
>see people painting
>time is almost over
>panic, because i don’t wanna look like an idiot who wouldn’t paint anything for her
>paint the reaper
>hand it to the teacher
>she doesn’t look at it
>next week i had to change class, because the girl was devasteted by my drawing
>Years later, i randomly talk about it with some friends
>they all laugh and tells me what an idiot i am
>Then I suddenly get why the girl didn’t like my drawing

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: PUOy/TJC) 10/03/12(Wed)03:55:44 No.428494713

Stupid thing I did when I was younger: not fuck a 12yo when I was 14-15 and had the opportunity to.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)03:55:44No.428494714

>>428458401
faggot

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)03:57:02No.428494807

>>428460098
doesn’t apply newfag.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)03:57:34No.428494850

>>428460129
doesn’t apply here newfag.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: PUOy/TJC) 10/03/12(Wed)03:58:07No.428494906

(continued in from “not fucking a 12yo” post)
She developed early and had the nicest tits yo.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: X/OLiLdG) 10/03/12(Wed)03:58:39No.428494946

>>428493463
>>428494013
She’s only gotten worse. Fucking hate that bitch.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8nN0pIPz) 10/03/12(Wed)04:00:07No.428495064

File: 1349251207594.jpg-(39 KB, 600×400, 1332368161302.jpg)

 

>>428435621
hahahaha eww

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: uho5nPfL) 10/03/12(Wed)04:02:09No.428495273

>>428434881
gayfuckyo

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: nctRPm+v) 10/03/12(Wed)04:03:46No.428495417

> 8th grade
> in park with friends
> nigger family right near us
> I use the word “nigger” too loudly
> they hear
> me and my friends forced to leave park

…facepalm.jpg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8nN0pIPz) 10/03/12(Wed)04:04:11 No.428495452

>>428437369
i still do this for lulz if im with a friend… the fat fucks deserve it for being so fucking fat and wasting so much space and food.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: aSxyN6gI) 10/03/12(Wed)04:07:24 No.428495751

Greentext better work on this goddamn iPod.

>Be senior handegg player in highschool.
>Also a black belt in 3 different styles of martial arts.

( Never tell people you’re a black belt in 3 different styles of martial arts )

>Be on water break docking around.
>Other senior begs me to punch him with his helmet on.
>*KA-POW*
>”HOLY SHIT DAT WAS CRAZY ANON”
>Be bashing each other in head all practice.
>Senior dares me too hit this little white freshman with Nigger dick while he isn’t looking.
>[SNEAK 100] 
>Jumps into the air with glorious superman punch
>Little freshman hits the ground, and we get him to his feet before coach sees.
>Other seniors says: “D00d, he doesn’t look right out of the eyes!”
>OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT
>Lil freshman is baw’ing and tells our coach.
>After practice get called into coaches office and get verbally raped by the son of a bitch.
>Go home worrying if the kid’s going to make it 
> Next day kid isn’t at school. 
>Stomach in knot
> Shows up later and tells me the only thing he remembers is catching a ball and then waking up at his house.
>he claims I used some sort of mystical energy to go through his helmet
>”Right”

TL;DR, I killed a’ boy •in slingblade’s voice•

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: esoDvwEY) 10/03/12(Wed)04:07:45No.428495772

>>428434881
lol from?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: gRRxK6as) 10/03/12(Wed)04:09:41 No.428495921

File: 1349251781458.jpg-(61 KB, 426×282, confused-face.jpg)

 

>be 8
>in the car waiting for my mom while she goes inside tim hortons
>randomly get a boner
>people outside smoking/drinkin coffee and also waiting in cars
>mom comes out of timmies finally
>stick my head half out the window and yell “Mommy why is my penis really hard”
>mfw my mom and everyone around laughs at me

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8nN0pIPz) 10/03/12(Wed)04:10:04 No.428495956

File: 1349251804742.jpg-(58 KB, 476×594, lol3.jpg)

 

>>428439237
i know what you mean… our IT guy is actually retarded in the sense that he is diagnosed with some weird fucking mixture of asbergers, downs and some other shit i cant remember…

>mfw this is college and our IT guy doesn’t even know how to spell.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: nZOD/FqG) 10/03/12(Wed)04:11:38 No.428496115

>>428472264
He thought just the act of standing, not giving someone a seat, was polite.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: OY+kEFC9) 10/03/12(Wed)04:13:39No.428496276

>>428455938
this pasta again.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 14RfigO/) 10/03/12(Wed)04:17:28 No.428496601

>be in kindergarten 
>just watched Wes cravens new nightmare with my dad
>next day at school kids go out for recess
>i wait for them to come
>walk around saying “never sleep again”
> I did this for a couple weeks
I feel stupid

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 10/03/12(Wed)04:18:06No.428496647

>>428466634
>greentext, can you even? You third world parasite.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)04:22:17No.428496980

>>428484404
GTFO doesn’t apply here you summery faggot.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)04:24:54No.428497220

>>428472916
Gawd damn newfag.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 0ZZSMeDV) 10/03/12(Wed)04:25:25No.428497265

>>428473196
GTFO newfag

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: QI3OZUJt) 10/03/12(Wed)04:46:14 No.428499108

File: 1349253974140.jpg-(21 KB, 475×358, 1313175178466.jpg)

 

>girl invites me to see Gangs of New York in early high school
>why the fuck would she want to see that?
>doesn’t watch movie at all
>stares at me an applies lip gloss easily 20 times
>fucking retarded faggot
>5 years later realize I’m a fucking retarded faggot
>rest of high school is a continuation of that moment

>sad girl with few friends sitting alone at lunch
>half-inflate gallon zip-lock, push corner in and fill it with raisins
>slam top of back and send buckshot of raisins into her face and side at 1000 miles an hour to make the jack-asses I thought were my friends laugh
>they laugh
>she never looks up from her sandwich 
>feel like absolute shit for the rest of time
>too ashamed to apologize 10 years later

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: i1GefgmY) 10/03/12(Wed)04:49:05No.428499339

>>428487218
your bro sounds cool as fuck

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: xwS210QU) 10/03/12(Wed)04:50:30 No.428499446

Replies:>>428499938

picked my nose and wiped it on people without them noticing, what a thrill

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: Emiw6xFH) 10/03/12(Wed)04:57:25No.428499931

>>428440757
hindu

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8nN0pIPz) 10/03/12(Wed)04:57:32No.428499938

File: 1349254652309.jpg-(29 KB, 512×384, HOLY S—-!!!.jpg)

 

>>428499446
haha, thats fucking disgusting

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: M9pcHZnE) 10/03/12(Wed)05:08:32No.428500706

File: 1349255312410.png-(106 KB, 962×656, 1ya.png)

 

>>428487218
Did this for you

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: NWWiA20P) 10/03/12(Wed)05:10:38No.428500832

>be in 7th grade
>mum just dieds of cancer
>fucking ass hole make cancer joke

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: AKi60aj1) 10/03/12(Wed)05:11:12 No.428500874

File: 1349255472194.png-(56 KB, 805×795, arealanon.png)

 

>>428440057

mah nigga

Only I discovered this fine asshole of the internet in 7th grade. I feel like the /b/’s biggest fuckup. 19 now, been coming here since I was 2007.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: qHCjRYA1) 10/03/12(Wed)05:15:54 No.428501186

>be in 8th grade
>purchase a bottle of coke from the canteene
>drink it till half the way down
>piss in it then fill it the rest of the way with water in the toilet (it still looked like coke but not at dark)
>sneak it back into the canteen
>watch a kid pick it up and buy it
>watched his facial expression
>had a dirty grin for the rest of the day

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: WNHI0nPp) 10/03/12(Wed)05:31:53No.428502298

File: 1349256713331.png-(204 KB, 904×499, happy wheels.png)

 

>>428476541
Justin?

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: WNHI0nPp) 10/03/12(Wed)05:41:52No.428502997

>>428478906
uncontrollable laughter ensued.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: 8Eb5rIPo) 10/03/12(Wed)05:42:14 No.428503015

>be like 7 or some shit
>see my dogs fucking in the back yard
>hump female after they’re done same way
>live next to fire station
>firefighters watching me laughing 
>didn’t know why it was funny
>didn’t know what I was doing

Oh, to be young and innocent again, maybe not so innocent…

>be like 9ish
>be laying down for “nap time” at babysitter’s
>female friend also laying down same room
>crawl over to her quiet like
>see my reflection on something
>think I’m like a turtle on mario
>get to her she pulls panties down
>mess with her vagina no idea what we’re doing
>babysitter walks in, flips shit, and paddles me
>hardcore religious cunt
>steal diapers she had for babies as revenge
>wear one when I get home for fun
>my dad is like wtf are you doing

I was a fucking retarded little kid.

>> 

Image

 Anonymous (ID: 57AJ1DnV) 10/03/12(Wed)05:49:04 No.428503523

File: 1349257744176.gif-(1.88 MB, 418×244, i0Qgn8E8GYBoz.gif)

 

> 15 years old
> at boarding school
> my friends and I would find it funny to run around in the dark and moon cars passing by
> here comes another one
> I pull down my pants, and my friend shouts don’t do it
> too late, I’m the only one mooning
> the car stops up, and we see a bunch of big guys in the car who are pissed as fuck
> we run all we can
> the others run ahead, I turn to the right to be more tactical
> the car follows me to the right and comes closer while I run for my life
> when they are like 3 meters behind me, I turn to the left, where there are a bunch of trash-containers. They’re 2 meters high and I jump up and hide in one of them
> hear them walking around, I’m shaking and scared as fuck, think I will soon get beaten up
> they drive away and didn’t find me
> I walk ack to the school and find my friends who thought I would’ve been dead or beaten up

everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: nRn0a3V2) 10/03/12(Wed)05:50:05 No.428503610

File: 1349257805259.jpg-(28 KB, 309×353, 1341307583317.jpg)

 

>>428491418
>i can just imagine the janitor walking in and thinking “jesus christ! how did a 5yr old kid shit so much!”
Fuckign this, I lost my shit

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: GB/q7WOI) 10/03/12(Wed)06:16:25No.428505380

>be 8 years old
>good friends with neighbours two 9 year old girls
>play with them all the time
>ahhh the good old days

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: i1GefgmY) 10/03/12(Wed)06:21:20 No.428505697

Replies:>>428506663

>>428488831
christfag bullies

who would’ve known

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: yQnhg3/3) 10/03/12(Wed)06:36:33No.428506663

>>428505697
Fucking lol’d

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: +8q3xtbO) 10/03/12(Wed)06:38:14 No.428506763

>>428475709

It’s simple, butthurt cunt. TITS OR GTFO. Welcome to 4chan.

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: mgW+PRUk) 10/03/12(Wed)06:43:36 No.428507061

File: 1349261016156.png-(714 KB, 757×451, 1332783759995.png)

 

>>428433110 (OP)

I have a similar experience 

>be 9 years old, the day after 9/11
>no idea that anything out of the ordinary has just happened
>see an ambulance with open backdoors rush by(im danish, so it had no connection to 9/11)
> then see a flag halfway down the flagpole
>yell out loud “wow looks like som real action!” or some shit like that
>get dragged to the principals office.. still have no clue what I did wrong
>teachers and principal yelling in my face.. think they’re kidding
>send me home to think about it
>2 days pass by before I put 2 and 2 together
>feel somewhat bad.. mostly because ive been a favored student up to that point.. and luckily from that point on still, after the whole thing cooled down.. but still
>mfw my parents never found out

>> 

 Anonymous (ID: AWvfr2Bj) 10/03/12(Wed)06:44:33 No.428507126

>Lunch
>6th grade
>Meal of the day is foot-long hotdog
>Sitting with friends
>Cover the hotdog in ketchup
>Girl walks by
>This girl ratted my best friend out for accidentally hitting a teacher’s car with a softball when we were playing during P.E.
>She made it sound like he did it maliciously
>He gets 10 days I.S.S.
>No good deed goes unpunished
>Grip ketchup-covered foot-long like a sword
>Walk right up to her
>Accost her with the hotdog and smack her repeatedly with it
>She starts screaming and crying as the ketchup flies everywhere
>At the end of it, I look like a maniac covered in blood (ketchup,) and she looks like my murder victim
>Assistant principal escorts me out of the lunch room
>Almost get expelled
>Get 10 days O.S.S.
>Get diagnosed with a potentially fatal heart illness the literal next day
>Parents too upset to be upset about my suspension, instead they coddle me
>Spend next 10 days playing Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back
>Taught that bitch a lesson
>Fucked her best friend in high school, eventually married friend.

MFW she was the bridesmate for my wife at my wedding.

 Image

Search Terms Used By My Moronic Readers


I was just perusing my blog stats and happened across this feature in my tools menu that allows me to look at all of the search terms typed into google ALL TIME that have led people to my website.  What a fucked up world we live in…..

 

LOL hahahahahahahahahahahaha…..  Here they are with number of times they have been searched….

 

Search Views
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jason haught newport beach 4Image

 

Image

Image

Christina Flora Joy


 

ImageThis is a picture of my girlfriend Christina.  Her last name is Schwarz these days Christina Clarissa Schwarz.  However, that is not the name she was born with.  When she was born, in 1991, at Torrance Memorial Hospital, her name was Christina Flora Joy.  Beautiful name right?  Yes it is.  Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

When she was six, she and her brother Timothy Edward, were taken away from her birth mother for reasons unknown for the most part.  Her mother’s name was Renee Joy.  We just found that out tonight.  Christina had been thinking that her mother’s first name was Kathy for some reason but her dad (adopted but still very much her dad) told her that it was Renee.

Since Christina Schwarz and Christina Joy are both pretty common names, if her mother Renee, was looking for her, she would have a pretty hard time finding her.  ImageWhen we googled Christina we couldn’t find any real hits, apart from like Facebook (under her birth name) and we couldn’t find even one image of her on the internet.  That would make it really hard for anyone to find her even if they were looking.  So I’m writing this post and putting it on my blog in the hopes that if her mother is looking for, she can google her now and there will be this reference.  Its going to be easy to find this because I’m an internet pro hahahaha.

In a way its kind of a big step because any adopted kid wants to believe the best about her real mom and in this case I’m sure Christina wants to believe Imageher mom is looking for her.  I certainly hope she is looking for her because she is missing out on the life of the Great Christina, Imagean awesome, funny, cool, sexy, beautiful, good, kind hearted young woman and it would be a shame for that to continue.  If she is looking she will find her if she is any kind of internet savvy lady.  If you are Christina’s mom then its easy as hell to get in contact ifImage you are reading this post.

Start by commenting and saying something.  I know that the absence of her birth mother from her life causes my girlfriend anguish and stress that she really doesn’t need at all.  ImageLife is hard enough without that shit.  So please, if you know anything about Christina’s birth mother or you are her birth mother or just wanna say hi or something, feel free to drop a line via this website.

Christina’s a bad ass chick.  I love her a lot.  So hopefully something good comes from this.

Bad Reads


Bad reads kill your poker game and they kill your life outside of poker.Image

You Fucked Up Son.


Two articles back I posted some tough guy rant about never giving up.  I think it was called Fight or Die.  Someone wrote that and posted it on 4chan.org/b/ and I was feeling like I actually had a pair that day and was feeling too lazy to write something more original and gripping like my usual garbage so I copied and pasted and added the McFucking Kill Yourself pic and the post was seen by maybe 17 people tops.  That’s not really the point of course.  My point actually has more to do with the fact that I posted some shit about “pain being my breakfast cereal” and how the weak are culled from the pack we call the human race just by virtue of being weak.  The post implied that I am the opposite of weak and all the pussies out there crying into their Wheaties should take notice, be on alert, read my bullshit manifesto and take immediate action to stop their cowardly sniveling ways.  Either that or be prepared for that inevitable “culling” as if some quazi-military outfit was out patrolling the streets of the world, sniffing out weakness in mankind and snuffing out the man exhibiting the signs of weakness.

I didn’t mean anything by the post except to maybe offer some encouragement to people out there suffering needlessly due to fear and to possibly motivate whoever needed the motivation to dig a little deeper to obtain what they wanted in this life instead of curling up at the first sign of strife and rolling over.

I have no place to call my own.  I have no car to call my own.  I have no money to call my own.  I have nothing to call my own except my skateboard and some clothing and a few paintings and other miscellaneous odds and ends.  I am a grown man allegedly.  I have three college degrees, two from excellent universities.  I have had a plethora of different jobs and plenty of money.  Unfortunately all of these degrees, jobs and paychecks were no match for my gambling addiction.

Compulsive gambling is really fucking bad unless you are some incredibly lucky motherfucker which as you all probably know is not very likely.  Common sense should dictate that over time, an individual gambler has absolutely zero chance of winning money and a 100% chance of losing his bankroll. Have you ever checked out a place like Pechanga Casino?  Its located in Temecula, California in the middle of a beautifully appointed highway surrounded by lovely and assuredly expensive  mini estates.  Sort of like a rich man’s housing tract.  Across the street to the right is a wonderful park with all sorts of good stuff for fitness minded people to get into.    The surrounding area of Temecula is very upper middle class and the whole outlying area is also coming up.By outlying area I’m talking about Murrieta, Lake Elsinore, even South Corona.

The casino itself, easily rivals any Las Vegas casino that I’ve ever seen.  For sure.  Its totally massive and very fucking nice.  The hotel rooms are bad ass.  The grounds are bad ass.  I’ve never seen the golf course but I’ve heard its bad ass and it definitely ain’t cheap to play there.  Keep in mind that I know several people who have been going to Pechanga Casino since it was a series of tents with no real framework structure in place.  Let me tell you, its no homeless tent city anymore baby.  Far from it in fact.  There are thousands of slot machines and hundreds of table games and a bunch of restaurants, a food court, several bars and night clubs and a massive poker room up the escalators.  We are talking hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars worth of infrastructure in terms of land and buildings.  I don’t know any sort of accurate number as far as how many people are employed there but its got to be in the thousands.  And that’s just in security personnel hahahahaha.

Ha that’s funny shit but it does seem like it.  They have so many god damn detectives and uniformed security guards and outside roving patrols on bikes and in trucks and Reservation Rangers in 4 x 4’s roaming around the place you would think that the President of the USA worked there or something.  He doesn’t.  However one night I did see Dr. J (Julius Erving) playing the $25 dollar slots in the high limit room (and losing his ass and being a total fucking pompous ass prick, much too good to talk to any of the common folk in the casino) one night.  Like who really gives a fuck right?  Duh.

They have a big sign which reports how much the casino paid out for the day, week, month and maybe even year over on the right side of the casino by the food court kind of and I remember looking at it one day and they had paid out like over six million or some shit that day.  Which has to tell you what kind of money that fucking place is raking in on a daily basis.  Trust me if they are paying $6,000,000 out in jackpots in one day they are profiting $36,000,000 on that same fucking day.  Do the math, be boggled by the numbers and start to let it sink into your head why the Pechanga Indian Tribal Members each get paid $15,000 a month for doing absolutely jack shit nothing and why the whole Southern part of Riverside County is starting to resemble Bel Air more than Home Gardens.

Just staying on the conservative side and saying that the casino has profit of $10,000,000 a day that’s like 3.65 billion dollars a year.  I know that sounds fucking insane but I’m thinking that its got to be true.  That place is straight out balling hardcore.  And what is the product that they sell, which is in such high demand from a huge percentage of the population living within 80 miles of that place?  To be honest that product could be called many things but essentially it boils down to greed and its really quite a complicated product indeed.  In fact its a mind fuck of monumental proportions, one which is everchanging but for the most part based on one of the baser emotions that humans feel.  I’m talking about greed, desperation, extreme joy, crestfallen sadness, depression, arrogance and pride, plus avarice and lust and narcissism and selfishness and self righteousness and indignation and disbelief, and inevitability, and superhuman power.  An array of self centered, frantic emotions very very high to the point of incredible or very very low to the point of crawling underneath a rock and dying.  That’s it.  That’s the product they deal.  Some call it hope.  Some call it entertainment.  Call it what you will it boils down to a human being wanting to get something for nothing, to magically turn $10 into $2000 (which I personally, have done at Pechanga Casino playing Cleopatra Keno).

Everyone has the same anticipatory semi confident, devil may care attitude when they first start off on a gambling extravaganza.  It feels awesome to walk into the casino with your pockets full of money, walk up to a machine thrown in a twenty or a hundred and just start winning.  Machine after machine, every thing you touch seems to turn to gold and you can win thousands so fast it seems crazy and you start wondering to yourself how the casino can afford to be doing this and still make a profit.  You feel like you can’t lose and sometimes I’ve had these kinds of streaks carry on for a couple of straight days or even 11 straight days as I did the first time I visited Melbourne Australia in 2004.  Every single day for 11 straight days I won and won and won and ended up winning 15,000 had my airfare and hotel and about five grand worth of clothes and hundreds of dollars worth of food, drinks and crystal meth paid for.  It was an awesome trip in every way.  I know what those streaks feel like and they are so incredible.

I’ve learned, the hard way though, that streaks like that are incredibly few and far between.  Streaks like that end.  They end badly.  For me they end horribly because I start freaking out and before I know it I’ve given literally every single dollar I’ve won back to the casino.  Plus everything I brought with me that I had just sitting in my wallet untouched up to now,  plus everything I can get from my ATM and every credit card and the money I left in the car and the money I left at home and the money I borrow from all of my friends at the casino, all of it, every single fucking dime of it, right into their outstretched hands.  I haven’t done this once or a dozen times.  I’ve done this literally hundreds and hundreds of times.  So many times you would think I have a fucking hole in my head and all of my fucking brains have leaked out and there is just an empty space there.  That many times.  Too many times.  Way too fucking many times.  And then even more times than that.  And more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more.  To the point where you are sick of reading it, I’m fucking sick of typing it but still I’m not done yet because yeah you can throw in a bunch of more times on top of it all.  Trust me.  I could try to remember all of the times and it would end up only being 25%.  That’s how pervasive and sick and horrible and truly deplorable and inexcusable my gambling problem has been.

I’m a walking, talking, educated, living, breathing example of why Pechanga Casino is so fucking rich that they are basically a law unto themselves and effectively they answer to nobody.  They are so far above the law that you have to just bow down and accept the fact that fair or unfair they are going to do whatever the fuck that they want to do and what they want to do is take every single person who walks through their  doors to the proverbial cleaners, fleecing them, leaving them with nothing but the memories.  They want to clean your clock and somehow convince you that you had fun getting your clock cleaned and that you actually have a chance in fucking hell of getting even the next time you walk through the doors like an Alzheimer’s patient who forgets his name every ten minutes and shits into his Depends every afternoon.  Pechanga Casino is the definition of insanity that makes the most sense to me.  If I literally looked at the online definition of insanity on the Webster’s Dictionary website and there were no words only a picture of Pechanga Casino trust me, I would completely understand and so would millions of other smart, capable, wonderful people walking the planet today.

The truth is that Pechanga Casino and many like it (San Manuel, Pala, Soboba, Valley View, Harrah’s etc) have no chance of losing any money, ever period.  Why? Because gambling is computerized.  All the wins and losses are already preset into the computer program and the false sense that you have actually won any money is only a matter of timing.  In other words walk up to a machine after some poor, stupid fucking stubborn asshole like me has just fed two thousand dollars into it without winning a fucking dollar, throw your twenty dollars, decrease the bet size from max bet of $6 bucks a spin to something more manageable like $1.20 and voila, all of a sudden you are an incredible gambler, on a hot streak.  Retrieve a thousand dollars of my horribly managed bankroll push cash out and be on your way and you are a winner.  Its all just a facade of course.  If you stay on that same machine and play it for 24 hours straight as I’ve done several times, I would stake my very soul on the fact that you have zero chance of being ahead at the end of that time period.  There is no fucking way.

They are computers.  They are programmed in a way that only makes you think you have a chance of winning.  And that so called “chance” of winning is only under very specific circumstances and only for a very short period of time.  Any pattern of play that deviates substantially from this is bound to end up costing the moron pushing the buttons an even more SUBSTANTIAL amount of money.  Its that simple. Long term you cannot win period.  So don’t try.  Short term you may win but hardly ever and never enough to satisfy you if you have a big negative lifetime balance against the gambling institutions of the world.  Hardly ever and never enough.  Two toxic ideas represented by those four words let me tell you.  Especially the “never enough” part.  Basically that means even if you win, no matter how much you win, you are still fucked because you will never ever walk away.  You will think you are smart and clever with your amazing money management skills but trust me the routine you are using is going to eventually break down due to some unforeseen circumstance taking place that you can’t control and you are going to get really red hot ears and a stubborn anger is going to creep its way into your way of play and you are going to go on fucking self destructive tilt mode to the point where you soon enough find yourself with a familiar sinking horrible feeling with an ever shrinking pile of cash and a sense of unease and disaster smashing those prior emotions when you thought you were the great Julius Ceasar of gambling, some sort of modern conquering hero of gambling.  Someone to be admired and patted on the back and flirted with by the desperate fake as fuck greed driven losers who hang out at the casino.  All of a sudden your celebrity, your fame, your stardom, is no longer with you.  All the admirers have left your entourage, except for maybe a couple of well meaning, commiserating bastards with bald heads and the look of vulture stamped all over their shiny little sweaty little sharp and hooded little faces.  They are actually the worst to be honest because you are so pissed off.  You are so pissed off that anything that comes out of anyone’s mouth that resembles a plea to please stop, cash out and run for the exits is something that you have no desire to even hear, and certainly you have no inclination to absorb, comprehend and act upon this advice.  Nobody, least of all yourself, is surprised when a short while later you are broke as a fucking joke and all of a sudden the though that you didn’t stop at the gas station on the way to the casino hits you.  Also those hunger pangs, that unpaid cell phone bill, the realization that you are out of whatever drug of choice you call your own, or some similar jolt back into reality lands on your head causing you bruising and maybe even a bit of bleeding and you really can’t do jack shit about it except join the throng of brain dead walking buckets of sadness and greed walking around the casino searching for money left on machines, even a penny, or waiting for some new celebrity to hit a jackpot in which case you can quickly make friends with him and ask him to be a star in his own little gambling show, verbally stroking his ever increasing sense of ego, so that when he does get paid his jackpot, if you are sly enough you can quietly make it clear to him that you are a little tight just at the moment and wow, twenty dollars would sure be appreciated and  hell, its only a tiny fraction of the 2,356 dollar jackpot he just won and since he is so swelled with the “golly gee willikers i’m some smart and greatImagegambler” syndrome, 8 times out of ten you can squeeze at least a twenty out of him. A lot of times you can get more then that.  If you are willing to invest a little more time into the effort and you are a good speaker as I tend to be, and the moron you are talking to is getting pretty fucking lucky you can get several hundred dollars over the course of a few hours.  Hopefully one of those twenty dollar bills you finnagle off of the crowd of temporary winners turns you iImagento a temporary winner again and a good portion of your bankroll is restored to you magically and boom you are off an running on yet another gambling spree.  ImageOf course this one is going to end up like all of the others, except only quicker now because by this time the meth is wearing off, in fact you can’t get any higher,Image you just want to sleep but you’re down money still of course.  Surprise surprise right?  Not. Image Fuck no its not a surprise although you are insane so you could have easily have convinced yourself that somehow or another you are not a loser and this could be the time where it all comes together for you and you are going to be both lucky enough to earnImage those thousands you so desperately need but also you are going to smart enough this time to know when to walk away when you are ahead.  Yeah.  Uh huh.  Sure you are.  You forget that you haven’t slept in three days and you find yourself nodding off to sleep like the Imageworld’s laziest heroin addict.  You find yourself sleeping in front of some stupid ass machine and its 11 a.m. on Monday morning and you’ve been at the casino since 4:30 p.m.ImageFriday afternoon and you have terrible breath and a pocketful of money but you keep falling asleep so you keep vacillating between this angry toxic obsessed crazy gambler cussing and hitting the machine hard, even bruising up your thumbs and knuckles and spitting on the machine and just being a horrible and scary and psycho idiot between periods of waking up and hearing yourself finish a snore as some fucking moron in a suit is asking you, “are you okay sir?” as if he gives a rat’s fucking ass if you are okay and as a matter of fact you are very much NOT okay at all but you don’t tell him that you just smile and Imagesay yes sir and sorry about that sir I’m just a little tired but really you are way more than tired.  You are completely drained,ImageI mean wiped out.  In every way.  Mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, emotionally.  In every fucking way.  You needImage to stop and salvage what you have left and find the strength to get off your numb fucking ass and the courage to walk away from that fucking hell hole soul stealing heart breaking, cold toxic unfeelingImage whore of a place Pechanga Casino and you need to do it five minutes ago.  But youImagecan’t drive how the fuck are you going to drive and besides you are losing now and you are so pissed off that you didn’t leave earlier when you had several chances. ImageNo you stuck around and got more and more outrageous with your bet sizing and your judgment and boom.  In no time flat you are broke broke broke broke TILT ImageTilt TILT yet again and either you jump back onto the track of finding free money or you finally give up and realize you areImage fucked and its time to get the hell underneath that fucking rock you emerged from four days Imageearlier full of quiet confidenceImage and brimming with cheer and tidings for everybody you run into.

Do you get the picture of what I am describing here people? ItsImagefucking convoluted and confusing, a total psychotic episode inducing mind fuck guaranteed to reel in the best specimens of the human race.  Its called gambling.  Specifically its called morbid or compulsive gambling. ImageMy name is Anthony Mandich and I am a gambling addict who has squandered away every portion of of my life that was worth anything andImage I’ve driven away every single person I have professed feeling of love and admiration for in the past.

And I nothing whatsoever to show for it except a battered heart and shaky sketchy depressing existence.  Living in a self created Imagecorner of hell.

Don’t get started because it will finish you in the end my friend.

Image

delightful


recently i was up to my usual tricks, playing poker with money i didn’t have, at lake elsinore casino.  i didn’t have any smokes so i asked some blonde girl outside if she had a smoke.  she gave me one and then asked me for a ride.  now this story is not about the blonde girl, although she does have a part in it.  this story is about the blonde girl’s friend who i met maybe five minutes after asking for that cigarette.  her name is christina and i don’t want to jinx myself by saying too much about her because who the fuck knows what’s going to happen in the future.  i just have to tell you all that she delights me like no other.  just constantly delights me in every way.  that’s all i have time for today. 

Fight or Die


Life has no time for the weak. Since it’s dawning, it has predicated itself on one facet: the strong survive and the weak are culled.

Your mettle is tested by life, by it’s difficulties, by your own emotions. When you feel as if you cannot crawl from bed, you must remember this is your struggle. Will you bend and break beneath the test of time, or will you rise and become what those of us who survive have done?

Nothing can defeat you. You are made of iron. Pain is your fucking breakfast cereal: it fortifies you with lessons learned and the fortitude to withstand any diversity.

Now get up off your knees and stop being a pussy. You weren’t meant to grovel for scraps of hope. When you seem without direction, it is then you may walk any path you choose.

You are made of iron, not dust. Remember this. Remind yourself of this.Image

Payola Scandal Survivor Dick Clark Dead At Age 82 Of A Massive Heart Attack


Surely, Dick Clark was a man who will be remembered for many

positive contributions to modern society.  He is was after all, an iconic figure, one of those instantly recognizable men that you couldn’t help but smile at when you saw him on American Bandstand, the game show Pyramid, TV’s Bloops and Bloopers, or Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve over the course of five plus decades in show business.

There was a time however when people weren’t exactly smiling when Dick Clark’s name was mentioned.  There was a time when Dick Clark’s name, along with Alan Freed’s, became embroiled in a shocking controversy which was dubbed the Payola Scandal.  This Payola Scandal was the main contributor to the death via uremia and cirrhosis brought on by alcoholism of Alan Freed in 1965 only a few miles from where I am right now as I write this….Palm Springs, California.

What happened as I understand it is the following:  In the 1950’s, independent record labels finally had a breakthrough over the major record labels regarding airplay.  Prior to the Payola Scandal becoming a major issue, there was a huge scandal over quiz shows and it involved collusion and a host of other unsavory characteristics.  As a result of the quiz show scandal the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) suggested in a very convincing manner that  House Oversight Subcommittee Chairman named Oren Harris needed to look into the practice of payola in the recording industry.

This practice had been around for many years of course but the ASPAC in light of the seemingly impossible breakup of the stranglehold held by major recording labels about airplay, mistakenly believed that the practice must have become rampant.  It based this unfortunate conclusion on BMI”s recent success and on the fact that they believed that rock and roll was evil and terrible music and a fad that needed to be stamped out.

Alan Freed, the so called king of rock and roll and the person who actually is credited for coining “rock and roll” itself as a name for the ever evolving body of music saw this scandal define his career and eventually his life which is a very sad thing indeed.

Dick Clark and Alan Freed, at the time of this scandal were the two top dj’s in all the land.

One was able to separate himself from the scandal rather then fall victim to it. That one was Dick Clark.  At the demand of his boss, ABC, Mr. Clark sold all of his interests in the record companies that had brought him so much fame and fortune.  He did this before it was his turn to testify in front of the senate. When he did testify before the senate his charm, earnest sense of sincerity, good looks and grace under fire kept him out of harm’s way.  He was absolved of all charges and went on to enjoy another 63 years or so of being in show business.

On the other hand, Alan Freed was fired and disgraced.  He started drinking like a fish and he was dead at age 43 in 1965….a broken shell of his once brilliant self.  You might say that Alan Freed was the first man to sell his soul for rock and roll.  He was memorialized by iconic Long Beach punk rock legends The Humpers in the song “Peggy Sue Got Buried”.  Now perhaps Dick Clark and Alan Freed can get together and talk about the hey day of rock and roll and the scandal that saw two good men head in entirely opposite directions.

Dick Clark, an American icon,  sharp minded businessman, and one hell of a great guy is dead today, Wednesday April 18th, 2012 at the age of 82 years old.  He died of  a massive heart attack while preparing for his next instantly successful project, one that I unfortunately don’t have Mr. Clark’s permission to share with you good people today.

Rest Easy Dick Clark, and rock on brother.

From Palm Springs, California I remain your humble servant,

Anthony J. Mandich

beware the wrath of /b/ 4chan/b/ versus @flyguyparsons


Screen shot taken from the twitter account of Aaron Jacob Parsons

Its been an interesting day in Cyberspace.  A perfect storm of sorts has come together and unleashed her fury on  krashthrills.wordpress.com in the form of thousands and thousands of views of an article I wrote regarding Aaron Jacob Fosters yesterday.  As of 7:01 p.m. tonight I have had 6,938 people from 11 countries visit my website and read what I wrote. There 3,583 clicks of links that I provided that contain more information/corroboration of the crimes that are proven alleged by what I have written, all of which originated on the /b/ forum on 4chan.org.  I want to take this opportunity to give props to the guys and girls who reside at /b/.  They might be a little warped but collectively they hold a great deal of power in their fingertips.  It was awesome to be a witness to this power as it unfolded.  Awesome as in I was awestruck and still am.  Certainly it is not a good idea to get on the bad side of a group that has this kind of power at its disposal.  Even worse to do it when they are bored and frothing at the bit for something to do.

It seems a bit of a foregone conclusion that the consequences are going to be severe and swift for the individuals responsible for the degrading beat down and robbery of the still unnamed victim in this case.  I feel absolutely no sympathy for the perpetrators.  I don’t give a shit what they have to say about it or what their excuse is or if they even remember what they were doing because of intoxication levels , temporary amnesia etc.  I really hope that prison is the end result for Aaron Jacob Parsons and everyone else involved, especially that annoying drunk bitch wearing her black panties parading around the street like she was some glamour queen.  Fuck her.  (man she STILL pisses me off)

The haters calling me racist can all suck it to be honest.  I am not even going to bother addressing that accusation.  It’s not true and my life and anything I’ve ever written in the past will attest to that FACT.  So, hate on haters.

I got a call from a reporter named Justin from the Baltimore Sun.  We talked for quite a few minutes about the origin of this situation, 4chan’s /b/ forum and more.  His view, stated to me anyhow, was that this is an instance of the internet being used for good and he was quick to show his admiration for the detective work done by the /b/ forum lurkers.  I agree wholeheartedly with this sentiment.  Choosing to fight against the “forces that /b/ is the ultimate example of the idiot who brings a knife to a gun fight”.

Have a good night everyone……Anthony Mandich

ImageADDENDUM: I replied to an email from the reporter I mentioned.  Here is what I had to say.  And I quote:

hey justin it was good talking to you.  i’m sending you this stuff before i even blog it so i must think you’re cool.  just don’t get me killed lol.

 
here is a quote from me if you want
 
“aaron jacob parsons is a wanted man”….post after post on /b/ repeated those words. it was late i was annoyed.  the arrogance shown by @flyguyparsons and @CASHton-Kutcher by posting the video of themselves proudly separating a man from his dignity really angered me.  they acted like it was so funny and so cool.
 
to beat down a guy like that, seemingly with impunity when: 
 
(A) he didn’t deserve it  and 
(B) couldn’t do anything about it but bleed and sit there bewildered, humiliated and alone and 
(C) further add to his pain by taking everything of value in his possession, stripping him naked, and letting some ugly drunk annoying bitch slap him open palmed across his face while he’s on his back  just didn’t sit well with me.
 
and the poor guy took it like a champ.  he didn’t defend himself (which was probably smart in this instance because this was a bear that you had to play dead against for sure.  so yeah he didn’t defend himself but he also didn’t bring further dishonor to himself by crying, pissing or moaning.  
 
two things resonated strongly with me.
 
1. the images of parsons mugging for the camera before the humiliation began and then creeping up and start digging through the guys pockets like it was a big joke.  i really hated that.
2.  that ugly chick wearing her panties with her big old ass all drunk grinding on the guy before it all started and then when he was down on his back she’s there standing behind his head and starts slapping in his face HARD and he can’t even see where these blows are coming from because she is standing behind his head.  that was particularly cowardly and thinking about it right now gets my blood boiling.  
 
you asked me what was different about this video as opposed to the many other millions of videos that are out there on the internet.  I am going to answer that with a post i did on some girls from a sorority at bowling green who were tragically killed in a car accident a few weeks ago.  my answer is obvious.
 

Fucking Horny.


 

got such a yearning for some completely ethereal woman goddess to  come steal my soul and force me to worship her.  its like this ache that is more than sexual.  i mean obviously although i have tried to talk to myself into believing that one of the many girls from my past was meant to be my destiny none of them actually were.  that makes me super sad in a way but also really relieved and happy in a way too.  maybe it was all my fault in each and every doomed relationship but so be it man.  whatever the case may have been i was obviously not content enough to conform to the unspoken boundaries that i know and they knew i was confined to. no matter what the reason was for my deliberate hard headed stubborn  way of living the bottom line remains the same.

my destiny woman, if she even exists which i doubt, but i hope, will be a woman who i can throw my whole being into and  who i never have to even care if we are at home or out living in the forest by ourselves or in a big city because she so fully captivates me and i her that the rest of the world ceases to exist in any meaningful way.  the one.  everybody talks about the one.  do they even know what they are saying what they are hoping for what they are dreaming about.

i have had wondrous nights of incredible leave this planet kind of lust filled sexual frenzy tongue in mouth until lips are chapped can’t get enough of her or her of me.  hundreds of those nights with probably a hundred girls.  why couldn’t i sustain that zest that passion that look at her always and be horny in my heart and in my pants?

just give me my soulmate make it clear to me that she is my soulmate and let me fend for myself with her.  i don’t want riches i don’t want fame (well yeah i do unless i get her) just give me the woman of my dreams who is searching for the man of her dreams and when she dreams she sees my face and touches my lips and i hers.  give her to me while i still have time to enjoy her.  i want to experience that great love that rare as fuck love the kind that you don’t talk about cuz its so fucking amazing you don’t even have time to brag or boast all you have time to do is stare at her and miss her when she is gone its not an obsession but you can’t live (happily) without being by her side where a weekend away is pretty traumatic.

i will trade it all for her.

woman if you are out there look for anthony mandich and find him before it is too late.  universe if it is someone i know now let me know.

Sociopath School Shooter Salad:


Sociopath School Shooter Salad:

First you take deviant teenagers with hormonal imbalances and an inflated sense of self importance that borders on narcissism.

Toss in their desperate need to seek out attention whether it be positive or negative, a warped sense of unjustified entitlement in a world that refuses to go along for the ride.

Mix with a pathetic built in excuse from their upbringing (sexual abuse, bullying, lack of affection, poverty…whatever).

Sprinkle example (Columbine) after example (Virginia Tech) after example (University of Texas) after example (Westside Middle School) of those that have paved the deranged way for these impulsive little sociopaths.

The little bastards probably beat off to pictures of Dylan Klebold dressed in black with a pool of blood surrounding his ugly head while Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy” plays over and over ad infinitum.

The focus of the media and all of her sycophantic followers (of which group I freely admit belonging to) is on the sensational and shocking thrill killing of the day week month etc.  The antihero perpetrators of these terrible deeds are made immediately infamous.

Remember that need for attention I pointed out above?  Infamy is attention.  There is a gratifying payoff in the form of the surrounding hoopla and intense, (albeit temporary)  microscopic scrutiny to which we subject these doomed children of a lost generation to after they commit these senseless crimes, and it is apparently a sufficient trade off for their lives.

The bright light is focused on these losers in an effort to answer the unanswerable question (WHAT COULD WE HAVE DONE TO PREVENT THIS?)

Sad that in this day and age, 15 minutes of infamy is more then enough to provide these former nobodies all the evidence they need to believe that they have made their mark and will go down in history.

Apparently no one these days sees the forest through the trees.  The outlook for mankind as a whole is not the brightest in my opinion.

Is anyone else sick to death of this shit?  There is no end in sight.  Its really all a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy if you ask me.  Kind of a psycho salad.

Image

This takes the cake.


Well there is this site called People You Will See in Hell that I have visited several times. I was reading the article called Brian and Shannon Gore

Show them the mercy they showed their own children

tonight.  I tried to respond to the author of the article but for some reason the site’s commenting/contact us section is closed.  Therefore, until I can send my response to them, I am going to publish it here to ensure it doesn’t get forgotten.  You can read the story for yourself.  Here is the link:  http://pysih.com/2011/07/22/brian-and-shannon-gore/

I just got done writing them a letter because I was so sad and mad after reading the story that I felt compelled to write to them.  Here is my letter:

Dear Max the Cat at PYSIH.com,

Regarding:  Brian and Shannon Gore

You know, I’ve also been reading the horror stories on this site for about a year.  Every time I come on to this site, I eventually find a story that leaves me feeling horrified and heartsick.  I don’t know why I continue to subject myself to it actually.  The stories are well written for the most part; although they do go beyond a simple reporting of the facts.  They are written in a way that elicits an emotional response from the reader.  Invariably the emotional response is pure sad sympathy for the victim; especially children, combined with a strong feeling of revulsion, anger and hatred directed at the monster responsible.   I have done my own mini-investigations into several stories to verify that such unspeakable and unbelievable atrocities had indeed been committed.  You see, some of the stories defy belief.  It just seems inconceivable and not possible for some of these things to have actually taken place and yet each and every story is supported in some way by my searches of prison inmates, newspapers etc.

 

Brian and Shannon Gore make me feel ashamed to be a part of the human race.  They really do.  Words can’t even begin to describe how much I actually hate them, just from reading what you wrote in this short story.  Needless to say I hope that they rot and suffer for what they did to that little innocent six year old child.  What more can I say?  They are stupid, ignorant, selfish, evil scum and that is the bottom line.

 

I’ll close by saying this.  I really don’t like this web site.  I hate the fact that this type of shit goes on in the world.  I worry about my own soul and the souls of the world if people have no problem committing acts like this.  In particular this case is so heinous because its not an isolated incident.  This is a protracted case of torture and human suffering and the victim is just a little kid.  She was eating her own skin?  Are you fucking kidding me? I mean really now.  So, Brian and Shannon had no problem sitting around eating pizza, watching tv, living their lives in other words while their flesh and blood daughter is sitting in a cage, encrusted in her own waste and fucking eating her own skin?  Hell….immediately.  That is my judgment on these two.  They actually make me angry.

This site has chronicled some of the most depraved, twisted and stupidly evil atrocities that exist in this modern world.  For me, right now, this story tops the charts.

 

I guess I feel it is my duty to read these stories, if only for the fact that the poor victim in each and every story gets a bit of psychic comfort because someone on the planet is thinking about them and feeling their pain.

 

I’m just going to have to start spacing the visits out a little longer though, because my night is ruined after that one.

 

Nice job writing this up.  Thanks, even though it gave me the heaviest of hearts.

 

Anthony Mandich

California, USA

 

 

People Who Died: Charles


Karma Police have pulled me over it seems.  I’m hoping I don’t get arrested by these guys because I don’t know how much more of this shit I can take to be honest.  The universe seems to be against me or maybe I am just against success.  Do I owe this life to mediocrity?  I stand in my own way.  I do.  I do.  I really fucking do.  There is a sick part of my heart that jumps all over any impulsive idea that springs into my mind and I’m seemingly too stubborn to stop it.  How many times have I relied on the goodness of strangers to get my ass out of a sling?  So many it boggles the mind.  Blessed and cursed was I…good looks and charm….I rely on both of them way too much.  This rut I’m in just keeps digging itself deeper and deeper.

When does the digging stop and the burying begin?

Scared to find that out to be honest.  The enormity of the task that lies in front of me should I desire to continue battling just seems overwhelming.  All systems are failing lets not mince words.  Is my core still intact or is it rotten and poisoned?  I can’t tell anymore.

Cerebral thinker, polluted well, the water smells off, have I been living in hell?

Surrounded by demons or are they just ghosts? Calling to me.  Beckoning me closer…Closer to what?

That’s the scary part.  Half of me already knows the answer to that and it spells only darkness and a reunion I’m not anxious to have.  I don’t want to be a name on the list of People Who Died, as much as I love them, I don’t want to see them anytime soon.

Yet…even now I hear faded whispers, see smiles in the dark, hear chuckles and scraping,  the moon is so full tonight, translucent light from an unnatural source the sickly green phosphorent beakers of decadence.

Calling to me from  the ancient past, promising details to questions and mysteries I didn’t ask and had no idea remained unsolved.

Regicide, the killing of a king, regicides, the killings of kings…

Who slipped him the poison with a smile on his face and teeth in his heart?  Who whispered my name to the wolves that run the action wherever I journey?

What kind of insect bit Charle’s killer, infected him with madness, forced him to pull the trigger?  You see that’s where it all started for me I believe.  The slow whirlpool spinning me around and around, unable to climb out unable to drown just spinning and spinning….faster and faster.  It all started with Charles McEldowney, Bo Kai Di, Chuck,

Vietnamese….American….Devil….Angel….dead.  For sure he is dead.

It’s been 5 years and 9 months since Chuck was shot by a young and angry Vietnamese kid.  5 y 9 m since the kid knocked on Charlie’s door.  It was in August of 2005. Charles lived real close to Dodger’s Stadium.  I wonder if the Dodgers were home that evening?  Or was the stadium as empty as the soul of the kid who put the gun up to Chuckie’s chest when he opened the door.  Pulled the trigger.  Walked away.  Somebody took Charles to the Emergency Room.  I don’t know what hospital he died at.  I don’t even know how to properly spell his American name or Vietnamese name.  I just know that my life hasn’t been the same since I got the call on the third floor of the Stellar Bar in Melboune, Australia from Heather Batchelder.

Charles drowned on his own blood.  That’s what I’ve been told.  I’m going to let you see this letter that I wrote to the world when I could find time to console myself back then.  From what I understand a printout of this letter was included with Charles when they put him in the oven that incinerated his flesh.  A copy of this letter is intermingled with his ashes and spread everywhere and nowhere.  Charles drowned in his own blood.

Who was there to see him off?  This was an unplanned journey to eternity.  When did his thoughts shift from whatever nonsensical things he was doing 5 minutes before the doorbell rang to “oh my god I am dead god please jesus please oh my god I  can’t breathe help me “.  His eyes must have been frantic.  Or maybe he was just that badass that he accepted it and floated away.

Come to think of it…a lot of things would be easier if I knew what happened to Charles.  I would like to see everything from 5 minutes to door bell ringing to where he is now.  If anywhere.  I’d like to know if he can still have thoughts in his mind.  Where did he end up?  Or is he just gone, not even rotting because of the cremation but just gone as if he never existed?

For at least 6 months after he died, somebody paid his mobile phone bill so his answering machine was still working.  I used to call that number from Australia all the time just to hear his voice.  It would rip me apart but I did it so many times.  I wonder who else used to call and leave messages for Charlie.   Did he ever get them?

I wrote this back in 05 when I was part owner of a bar in Melbourne, Australia.  Got some bad news from Heather Batchelder and Mike Barnes about my very good friend Charles.

—————– Original Message —————–
From: HOt sex and Greed
Date: Aug 11, 2005 1:14 PM

Aug 9, 2005 12:29 AM
Subject: The Legend of Bo Di Kai——–I am Fucking Shattered
Body: Honestly in all my life experiences I have never been as distraught, emotionally wrecked, torn to pieces, sad, angry, and overall just a mess as I was and AM STILL over the stupid senseless killing of my friend and companion and kindred brother Charles McEldowney on the Second of August, 2005 in LA.

Some fucking jackass who obviously can’t handle their drug intake of ice tripped the fuck out of his head and had some delusion of Charlie doing something threatening somehow someway and actually killed my friend Charles.

I have suffered through many fucked up things in my wonderful life to date. None has affected me quite as much as this. I live in Australia now and I can’t fucking even go home to the funeral. It’s so fucked.

If you never met Charles your life is not as fulfilled as it should be let me just tell you that. He was a great personality and the most funny, generous, twisted and delightfully evil man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I know that I will never meet another like him.

If you only knew how many nights in the last twelve years that Charles and I have seen the sunrise together, talking shit, philosophizing, tinkering, drawing, partying, driving, planning, laughing, eating and just being brothers it would boggle the mind.

Fuck yah we were on drugs. Hooray for that. After Charles moved from OC to LA, I got a job at Ticketmaster in LA and was working down on Wilshire Blvd right there in Chinatown. And he lived there off of 8th Street and Grammercy. Literally 5 minutes walk from my work. I used to go over there at lunch and Charles would rescue me from the hellish hangover I would be enduring, with some hits of that dirty pretty ice pipe and we would have the best times. I don’t give a fuck if you think its lame. Drugs or any of it to tell you the truth. It was real and it was never the same and the adventures in LA with Chuck were legendary.

When I moved to downtown LBC with my Australian chick Ella, me and her used to go to Charles mobile house about three nights a week and pick up shit like maybe a half gram or something. It would always be like at 4 in the morning seriously and I would be covered in paint from whatever masterpiece I was working at the time and it was just so NOT THE SAME as the millions and billions of sheep living in California.

Charles sold drugs. Yah for Charles. I trusted him more than I have ever trusted anyone in my life. Implicitly. You know what that word means? Implicitly. Well I don’t know the exact dictionary meaning either but it’s a word that comes to mind when I think of Charles and trust. Like as in, it goes without saying. The dude had my back, any time any place. When I had money I gave him money. When I had none, he took none. It would not be an exagerration to say that Charles has actually given me my stash for the night AND GAS MONEY TO get back home AND A LITTLE MINI STASH for my chick and some sort of tool or gadget, a porno, and some food at least 100 times when I was living in Long Beach.

I would always be broke, being a degenerate gambler, yes its true. But Charles never gave a fuck about that. Literally didn’t give a fuck. Always made the time for me. Always. I tell you what. Straight up. The man meant more to me than almost anyone in this world. I love Charles. I thought he was the coolest person ever and he is my hero. Seriously my life will never be the same and the prospect of visiting California again isn’t even half as appetizing now that he is dead. I am that crushed.

I just found this shit out yesterday and I can’t stop welling up with tears about every 5 minutes. Is there anyone in your life that every time you see this person you feel this swell of affection in your heart and a smile just comes to your lips? Like you guys are so genuinely stoked to be in each others company whenever you get the chance in your busy lives? And once you start talking, all the other people in the room can’t even follow what you guys are talking about because they are just not on that wavelength. That is what we had man. Not in a gay way either for fucks sake. But in a non gay way Charles was a soulmate of mine and I really miss him so terribly much as I am typing this right now on a cold and rainy Melbourne Tuesday, the ninth of August, 2005. I miss you Charlie and I am fucking not very happy about any of this let me tell you.

As always with me and Charles he is paving the way. Charles was the stuff that legends are made of. Let the storytelling start now. I would say Rest in Peace but Charles liked staying up. Not resting. I do too. So all I can say is I love you brother and I miss you and not a cliche here: I will think about you every day for the rest of my life and thank you so much for every little thing you have ever done for me. You fucking rule. Bye Chuck.

meth kills fast cars cheap thrills


I came across this letter on the internet in May of 2010.  At that time I felt an incredible affinity with the guy who wrote the letter to his wife.  I wish I could remember exactly where I found it.  It could have easily been written by me.  I’m not saying that in order to influence your opinion on this topic.  In fact , I am just curious what others think about the issue of drugs and society.  It’s definitely a complex and polarizing issue for most.  Surprisingly, I suppose, my experiences on all sides of this topic have given me a flexible open minded approach in a sense.  I have a hard time saying yes or no, black or white, right or wrong.  Drugs….many shades of grey.  That’s my best answer.  A copout?  100% LOL but…I just don’t think you can deny that its impossible to sum up this issue in a sentence, a paragraph, or even several pages.  What do you think?

dear charlotte…

i know you don’t want to believe this but i‘m not suffering in the slightest

it’s easy to write me off as drug addled and to send me your dramatic texts about not sleeping for a week because you are so worried about me.  and fair enough, i suppose i deserve that but regardless, i am not the same person.  i am different. and different for the better by far.  i’m on the road to a better place 100% for sure.
an open mind, a  friendly attitude, the knowledge that i can persevere under impossible circumstances, somehow hold on, and in the end come out alive and fully intact mentally and physically….these are nothing but states of mind.   but thoughts control your world.   period.  yes i think i am different then everyone else and yes i think i am special and that i am destined to make a direct, positive impact on the world by doing  something amazing and unique to me.  sounds stupid.  whatever. i realize fully that every single person in n.a. and a.a. would scoff 100% at that statement.  in fact, my guess is that the more militant n.a. nazi types would be using profanity laced, high decibel, somewhat frenzied speech to make it clear just how pathetic, self-deluded, idiotic, and dishonest i am to even have the nerve to pretend to be different in any way.
narcissistic maybe.  different? never.
and they will eat this next sentence up like a wino eats trash.
ha ha ha.  i can hear the “oh my fucking god”s and “this pathetic prick”s and the “who does this fucking creep think he is charlotte?”s now.  i’ve read material on quite a few crystal meth abuse oriented websites and it’s like a pattern.  on the blog portion where people write in to share their experience, strength and hope in the form of letters, it never fails.  as soon as a person writes in and freely admits to still using meth and tries to say anything whatsoever other then “i am a hopeless, hell bound addict, please help me before i destroy everything i come in contact with”, the bloodthirsty, incredibly hypocritical, judgmental, bible & big book thumping, cliché laden zealots jump all over him/her like a pack of wolves.
it’s terrifying actually.  lol.  i remember this one letter this guy wrote and he admitted using meth almost daily for two years.  he wrote an incredible, cogent and well reasoned thesis basically, on his experience with crystal. to be fair, he definitely did not advocate drug use, admitted freely that it ruins many lives and in general did not write even one sentence that could have been perceived as inflammatory, boastful, or slightly mocking the community he was addressing; namely recovering addicts and maybe the codependent types from their immediate family/friends.
now charlotte, you know i am a decent writer and i’m telling you like it is.  it was a good, solid 2-3 page document, written with a humble approach.  he simply explained his personal views and his actual journey. this guy got massacred.  he was ridiculed to the point that it was stupid. they just refused to read anything he had written once they saw the part about still using.  once that was out there, nothing, and i mean absolutely nothing he had to say had any credibility in the judgmental eyes of the people who responded to him with hatred and scorn.
it turned me off to the idea of organized treatment in a similar way that i am turned off by the idea of organized religion.  any approach that has “one size fits ALL” and refuses to give credence to individuality makes me want to vomit. i have no idea why but this bible verse from the book of romans “professing to be wise they became fools” comes to mind..  but of course you know me and i’m a bit of a scoffer in general. so when i saw the way that they picked this guy apart, i was over it before i even finished reading the first barb filled response.
the guy was basically asking for advice and said that he gets benefits from using and that thus far in his life, the benefits (delusional or not) that he still receives, compensate for, and, in fact, still overshadow whatever negative consequences he has had to face. and like i said, i read his letter in detail a couple times, and what he was saying, i could totally see as being truthful and realistic.  he actually asked what the others thought, if they could give him some direction, asked if he needs to quit or at least slow his roll, asked if he was an addict (he didn’t believe that he was—fully, anyhow) etc.  basically a guy wanting to tell his side of the story.  clearly he wasn’t at  the point where he could totally relate with addicts who had hit the bottom and were totally fucking out of control.
he wasn’t out robbing, cheating and manipulating everyone and everything to stay high. that’s not to say he wouldn’t end up there nor was he claiming a miracle approach to using that allowed him to be different then everyone else, special or unique.  he made sense though, you know what i mean?  that’s what really got them all so fucking pissed  because he did give some guidelines that he used for staying one step ahead of the drug overtaking his life.  things like drinking water, not using everyday, going to sleep everyday, staying in his social scene, family scene, being employed, exercising, having varied interests and activities, eating plenty of healthy food, taking care of his teeth and hygiene, stuff like that.  and he was asking for some more similar guidelines and just the point of view of some people who knew better etc. well, his point of view did not sit well with anybody.  they tore him a new asshole and quickly dismissed him as an untrustworthy, pathological liar, and a deluded addict who was out of step with reality and doomed.  not one positive word, no encouragement, no welcoming explanations on why his approach, though sincere, was still misguided….nothing.  the guy probably went out and hung himself after reading the barrage of personal attack laden hate mail that he received in the way of responses.
this from a bunch of addicts who obviously had forgotten what its like to be one themselves.  he admitted he was still using you see and he gave common sense principles that worked to delay him reaching that level of hopeless addict and he was ridiculed hugely for doing that.? speaking for myself i was pissed off because of how damaging i think their attitudes would be to someone who was wavering.  not that i was wavering ha ha ha fuck that shit but IF i would have been and i saw that i wouldn’t be wavering EVER and i know a lot of kids feel the same way.  its like if you don’t conform to their dogma that your life is so hopeless and unmanageable that you can’t live without “keep coming back it works if you work it” then you should be cast out and ridiculed.  a big reason people use drugs  in the first place is that whole rebellious, anti authority thing, not wanting to be a square and all that.  reacting  like the guy was satan made me feel even more rebellious.  i was like “if this is what you get when you get clean then i wanna stay dirty baby”.
exclusion because you are different……….  how is that approach pragmatic?  the only reason they attacked is because of the fatal mistake the guy made when writing his letter.  he gave an ALTERNATIVE option that didn’t revolve around the principles of narcotics anonymous and EVEN worse didn’t force a person to abstain completely if they chose not to.  and that’s what i hate about twelve step programs in general.  again, you know me, and the whole “it’s my way or the highway” doesn’t sit well with me and in fact makes me do the opposite most of the time.  i’m not the only one. believe me i know that they reacted so strongly because they didn’t want anyone who had already decided that their shitty lives had become unmanageable to change that decision because of this dude’s words and come to the conclusion that maybe they could possibly go back to using and control it.  delusional thinking for sure and not a good idea by any means.  however, the bully tactics employed by those who responded to this guy did way more harm then good.  you could tell they felt super threatened by this seemingly harmless guy and his calm and reasonable approach to the situation.
i truly hope you never take the zealots approach to your treatment and recovery.  far better to be flexible in every area of your life and use the knowledge you have gained in rehab and in meetings etc to form a living, breathing, powerful, and INCLUSIVE set of guidelines for sustained recovery from addiction.  to give you a perfect example i’ll just say this, the responses i read all reminded me of my hypocritical brother, a guy who gets fucking wasted, pisses on peoples couches, does shit loads of cocaine and then deigns to give me advice on me and my fucked up life to a point where you just want to vomit at the hypocrisy.   enough said.
hysteria in any form either from an addict or the cured set, is ugly and scary.  please don’t harden yourself ever, to the realities faced by people who are out in the world with nobody to share their lives with, unhappily existing in a vacuum without an iota of faith that their life has a chance of becoming fulfilled and happy. sure that fucking marine drill sergeant approach may bring some hardcore addicts in for treatment.  long term though, intolerant ranting type name calling and angry tirades will push away the people who really probably have the best chances of success.  i’m referring to people who are considered as “functioning addicts”. lol, i’m too much of a coward to send my letter into the website so i am addressing my complaints with your community in a more personal way, one on one with my ex wife lol..you should make it your mission to come up with some groundbreaking way of solving my issues.  that would be awesome and it would help a lot of people because i’m positive that many people out in the world would agree with my point of view number one and number two belong to that “functioning addict” group, and still possess enough individuality and strength to veto any treatment option that is going to talk down to or ridicule them.
only fucked up, rogue, third world piece of shit, hellhole countries with despotic tyrannic leaders  rule their people by eliminating the brave souls who dare to voice a contrary  opinion.  ever hear of the khmer rouge?  google it.    charlotte you need to bring n.a. out of the dark ages, they are using methods of governing their people that are also used in  iran, china, north korea, haiti, africa,   i think you are amazing enough to actually pull n.a. out of the twentieth century and into the modern world. anyway i remain yours,

 

toby

check out this site:  http://www.kci.org/

Brenda Bayne might roll over in her grave if she knew that her grandson Anthony Mandich used her image in such a way!! Hahahaha I love you granny!

By the way, if you read that letter and you thought that it was written by me, its because it was.

Eric Schlenker and the Crown Town Punx Part 1.


Kind of what I imagine when I think of a bank robber in Jail

Well, I’ve wondered for years now what ever became of my friend Eric Schlenker.  I’ve googled him a few times and once a couple years ago I found a guy with the same name who was a Christian leader type and a graphic artist.  I don’t want to sound like a doubting Tony here but I had my doubts if it was the same Eric Schlenker to be honest although to my credit, I did actually send this other Eric Schlenker guy a little email asking him if  he was familiar with Crown Town, the Crown Town Punx, or anything of a similar nature.  For some reason I don’t recall getting a response.

This is me, Anthony Mandich, about a year after Eric Schlenker and I started getting into shenanigans

Eric and I became friends when I didn’t really have any.  I lived on two acres of orange trees, surrounded on either side by exactly one house (each with its own acreage of orange trees).  That was it.  On the whole street except for at the very very top about a mile away there were a couple of ramshackle little houses (one of which contained some good friends of mine The Alcantars).  Basically I lived in the orange groves straight out.  There was a strange factory across the street that made some sort of rubber products, and Pete’s Road Service separated the three modern houses (including mine) and the more rundown houses at the top of the street.  Other then that there wasn’t jack shit on my street except potholes and lots of orange trees and bare fields with nothing but squirrels and weeds.

Anthony Mandich thought he was so cool....what a fool

Man I was so fucking miserable living in that house.  The address was 18430 Compton Avenue, Corona, California.  Our family had just moved there from a cool part of town, from Citron Avenue.  There was a park there and smooth streets for skateboarding and lots of kids my age (even though I got picked on alot).  I was super bummed when we moved and I know it had some serious consequences for my life looking back for sure.  I felt like an outcast so I began to act like an outcast and for me that meant PUNK ROCK.   Pretty typical beginning for any aspiring rebel juvenile delinquent  to tell the truth.  Except that I had parents who weren’t about to put up with any sort of shit like that from me.

I butted heads fiercely with my step dad and to make a long story short one day I met this kid named Eric who lived with his dad who he didn’t really get along that good with either.  He was a tiny bit older then me (like 8 months or something) and he was cool.  We sorta looked alike, dark hair and whatnot, slender good looking wanna be cool guys and so we started hanging out.  For some reason we decided that we didn’t want to live with our parents anymore.   I guess I was about 14 at this time and Eric was my first real foray into real trouble.  His mom lived in New Mexico and we thought it would be great to run away and go there and start  out some kind of crazy existence over there.  So thats what we did.

Anthony and Natalie

We ran away a few times together.  The furthest we ever got was Blythe, California.  I pussed out in Blythe.  We had gotten on a Greyhound bus in LA and we only had enough money to get to Blythe.  We arrived there at 2 in the morning or something stupid like that and it was so fucking incredibly fucking cold that I ended up calling my parents and my dad ended up driving out to Blythe right then and there to pick me up.  Eric was having none of that action.  He knew that his father was going to beat the shit out of him if he came home so he tried to carry on with the mission alone.  He got picked up by the Blythe Police and sent home anyway and yes he did get his ass beat by his dad, an ordeal I witnessed first hand.  I don’t remember why exactly I was there to witness his dad beating the shit out of him with a belt but I was.  Definitely.  I know I sound like such a soft little bitch but you have to remember Blythe is in the desert and we ran away the day after Christmas.  I waited until then because I knew I was getting Penny Loafers for Christmas and I wanted to make sure I got those before I took off.

Well thats one little story about Eric and me.  There are lots more that I will try to get to but not right now okay.  Anyways I was pretty sad to find out today that Eric recently got arrested for committing a bank robbery in New Mexico and is looking at 20 years in a Federal Prison.

Check out this link:  http://www.justice.gov/usao/nm/pr/2011/2011-02-18_schlenker_br_pr.pdf

Eric Schlenker's arrest announcement for bank robbery (US Department of Justice)

 

 

The Pursuit of Happiness


I pretty much love this girl a lot

I looked into her eyes last night and realized how incredibly lucky I am to have found a girl who gets me.  Better late then never.  We have our moments of confusion but when we are curled up like two puppies in the bed there is no doubt about anything.  Searching aimlessly for my whole life and coming up short, that’s what  seemed to be my destiny.  I can no longer say that.  Truly, I believe the ball is in my court.  If I want happiness, a girl who will stand by my side, a girl who loves me….well she’s here.  She’s here now.  It’s up to me to blow it.  Or not.  I’m thinking for once in my fleabitten life I’m going to choose not.  God, you got my back on this one.  I’ll take this one thanks.  She is music to my ears.

April Shand…I’m pretty happy that you sleep with me every night.

The Guggenheim


I went to sleep this morning waiting for my video to upload on to YouTube.  I awoke to find an invitiation to submit my video “A Fantastic Journey through the Nazi Regime” to a special project where it will be shown at the Guggenheim.  That’s pretty crazy huh.  I doubt if it will be selected, I mean I’m not that good but still I submitted it anyway.  Here is the statement I included with my submittal:

My name is Anthony Mandich and I am an artist living currently in California.  Despots and oppression weigh heavily upon my heart and my  art often takes me places which reflect this.  The intention of my video is to reveal the corruption and decadence inherent to the Nazi  Party in the 1930’s and 1940’s, to be a voice for fellow artists who are no longer with us such as Lin Zhao and Delara Darabi and to show my undying admiration for the late (and enchanting) Marilyn Monroe.  My video is a pan and zoom collection of over a hundred pieces depicting   these themes set to some instrumental and very cool music by the band Air.  I would love to share my video and my art with you at the Guggenheim and with people everywhere who have a conscience and need a voice to speak against social injustice and despotism.  It is my intention to change the world’s attitude one piece at a time and to keep the memory of those that have suffered for their craft alive forever.  Thank you very much.

Here is the link to the video:

Google Charles McEldowney After This


I wrote this back in 05 when I was part owner of a bar in Melbourne, Australia.  Got some bad news from Heather Batchelder and Mike Barnes about my very good friend Charles.

—————– Original Message —————–
From: HOt sex and Greed
Date: Aug 11, 2005 1:14 PM

Aug 9, 2005 12:29 AM
Subject: The Legend of Bo Di Kai——–I am Fucking Shattered
Body: Honestly in all my life experiences I have never been as distraught, emotionally wrecked, torn to pieces, sad, angry, and overall just a mess as I was and AM STILL over the stupid senseless killing of my friend and companion and kindred brother Charles McEldowney on the Second of August, 2005 in LA.

Some fucking jackass who obviously can’t handle their drug intake of ice tripped the fuck out of his head and had some delusion of Charlie doing something threatening somehow someway and actually killed my friend Charles.

I have suffered through many fucked up things in my wonderful life to date. None has affected me quite as much as this. I live in Australia now and I can’t fucking even go home to the funeral. It’s so fucked.

If you never met Charles your life is not as fulfilled as it should be let me just tell you that. He was a great personality and the most funny, generous, twisted and delightfully evil man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I know that I will never meet another like him.

If you only knew how many nights in the last twelve years that Charles and I have seen the sunrise together, talking shit, philosophizing, tinkering, drawing, partying, driving, planning, laughing, eating and just being brothers it would boggle the mind.

Fuck yah we were on drugs. Hooray for that. After Charles moved from OC to LA, I got a job at Ticketmaster in LA and was working down on Wilshire Blvd right there in Chinatown. And he lived there off of 8th Street and Grammercy. Literally 5 minutes walk from my work. I used to go over there at lunch and Charles would rescue me from the hellish hangover I would be enduring, with some hits of that dirty pretty ice pipe and we would have the best times. I don’t give a fuck if you think its lame. Drugs or any of it to tell you the truth. It was real and it was never the same and the adventures in LA with Chuck were legendary.

When I moved to downtown LBC with my Australian chick Ella, me and her used to go to Charles mobile house about three nights a week and pick up shit like maybe a half gram or something. It would always be like at 4 in the morning seriously and I would be covered in paint from whatever masterpiece I was working at the time and it was just so NOT THE SAME as the millions and billions of sheep living in California.

Charles sold drugs. Yah for Charles. I trusted him more than I have ever trusted anyone in my life. Implicitly. You know what that word means? Implicitly. Well I don’t know the exact dictionary meaning either but it’s a word that comes to mind when I think of Charles and trust. Like as in, it goes without saying. The dude had my back, any time any place. When I had money I gave him money. When I had none, he took none. It would not be an exagerration to say that Charles has actually given me my stash for the night AND GAS MONEY TO get back home AND A LITTLE MINI STASH for my chick and some sort of tool or gadget, a porno, and some food at least 100 times when I was living in Long Beach.

I would always be broke, being a degenerate gambler, yes its true. But Charles never gave a fuck about that. Literally didn’t give a fuck. Always made the time for me. Always. I tell you what. Straight up. The man meant more to me than almost anyone in this world. I love Charles. I thought he was the coolest person ever and he is my hero. Seriously my life will never be the same and the prospect of visiting California again isn’t even half as appetizing now that he is dead. I am that crushed.

I just found this shit out yesterday and I can’t stop welling up with tears about every 5 minutes. Is there anyone in your life that every time you see this person you feel this swell of affection in your heart and a smile just comes to your lips? Like you guys are so genuinely stoked to be in each others company whenever you get the chance in your busy lives? And once you start talking, all the other people in the room can’t even follow what you guys are talking about because they are just not on that wavelength. That is what we had man. Not in a gay way either for fucks sake. But in a non gay way Charles was a soulmate of mine and I really miss him so terribly much as I am typing this right now on a cold and rainy Melbourne Tuesday, the ninth of August, 2005. I miss you Charlie and I am fucking not very happy about any of this let me tell you.

As always with me and Charles he is paving the way. Charles was the stuff that legends are made of. Let the storytelling start now. I would say Rest in Peace but Charles liked staying up. Not resting. I do too. So all I can say is I love you brother and I miss you and not a cliche here: I will think about you every day for the rest of my life and thank you so much for every little thing you have ever done for me. You fucking rule. Bye Chuck.

Did this all night on Memorial Day's Eve 2010

Saturday is Poker Day Kids


I am waiting with baited breath to be picked up by who else, a Heather.  This one is Heather McGovern.  I know so many Heathers its sick.  I’m not going to get into the Heathers right now but trust me I will fascinate you in the future with my Heather stories.  Right now my only purpose in posting a blog at all is to get my newly completed painting out there for the public to see.  It is extremely cool I must say.  Its just really really really cool.  Sean Stenlake thinks so as well.  Even my Uncle Gordon likes it.  Why don’t we just kinda cut through all the bullshit and unveil the damn thing.   Ladies and Gentlemen……….meet the girl of my dream and nightmares………..

Very INsane painting in person......