Shitty Things You Did in Grade School (4chan)


4chan’s b/random board self destructs leaving no trace of the messages left on there after a relatively short period of time.  this thread was so fucking funny slash shocking that i just had to copy it so i could read it again.  you are blessed to be able to read these demented little stories

I’ll start

>be in 4th or so grade
>after school
>admin laptop lying around
>know password is admin
>put every single app on desktop
>teacher comes in
>”what are you doing, anon?”
>”working on powerpoint”
>no one ever found out


Anonymous (ID: Xmgg1lFK) 10/01/12(Mon)18:20:31 No.428249189

Replies: >>428249380>>428249797

>>428248779 (OP)
Steal money from the teachers and buy candy for it.
Piss on other peoples clothes.
Verbal bullying. (that shit hurts the person whom is subjected to it)
There was more but I cant remember.

>> could you elaborate on the clothes pissing?

Anonymous (ID: Xmgg1lFK) 10/01/12(Mon)18:27:57 No.428250193

Not much to tell really. Must have been in first grade. I think I lost a fight against this huge fucker, but being the petty little kid I was. I wasn’t let him going to walk away victoriously. So when he was in class. I pissed all over his sweater, jacket and shoes, then I ran away returned to my class. Nobody every found out it was me.


Anonymous (ID: L8g0PkS0) 10/01/12(Mon)18:22:29 No.428249423

Replies: >>428249498 >>428262958

there was some fun raising thing where kids would sell candy bars for a dollar. I used to make fake fives (really bad ones) and buy a candy bar with it.

Profit = 4 dollars and candy bar = fucking win


>sixth grade
>9/11 happens
>Best friend and i put on two of my boyscout uniforms.
>Go door to door collecting donations to help the families
>Did this all week
>Collect over three thousand dollars
>Holly fuck i’m the wealthiest man in the world.
>For the next month just a constant party of new video games, candy bars, slim jim and, energy drinks.


Anonymous (ID: YR7vQjVD) 10/01/12(Mon)18:32:08 No.428250750


Used a kid’s gym shirt as toilet paper one day.

Put it back in his locker, too.


Anonymous (ID: rEhoOE12) 10/01/12(Mon)18:32:37 No.428250809

>be 7
>Is in first grade
>Class is being introduced to restrooms.
>One boy in the stall in putting his face in the toilet
>He’s a browny
>I’m a cunt
>I urinate on his back and get his t-shirt full of piss.
>He cries.
>I laugh
>I get sent home with his shirt, which I was supposed to wash.
>Didn’t wash shirt
>All my prouds


Anonymous (ID: IkaDSgK6) 10/01/12(Mon)18:36:49No.428251335

kinda similar story to this
>be like 4th grade
>tell people I’m collecting money for some poor family
>made like $200
>fucked off with it and bought random shit.

Probably the worst thing i ever did.


Anonymous (ID: FY6a3TSK) 10/01/12(Mon)18:38:52 No.428251627

Replies: >>428264438

i once convinced a kid that eating seeds i found on the ground would get him to fly, but only if he jumped off tall things.

teacher stopped him from jumping off the building though. didn’t even get in trouble.


Anonymous (ID: IliUoaXO) 10/01/12(Mon)18:39:23 No.428251687

Replies: >>428259292 >>428261329 >>428262247>>428266090

>5th grade
>girl brings in 500$ in cash to class
>me and Mexican friend steal it
>class gets searched
>hide it in sock
>buy shit from those scholastic magazine they pass out in school the next week


Anonymous (ID: jfUYgIta) 10/01/12(Mon)18:40:15 No.428251815

Replies: >>428252195 >>428253360>>428255914

>be in 6th grade
>see hot girl lean over in class
>i see her ass
>she turns and sees me doing this
>she says “if you had one moment to seize everything you ever wanted would you take it?”
>weak arms are heavy
>mom’s spaghetti


Anonymous (ID: DNuLCaQN) 10/01/12(Mon)18:41:34 No.428251984

Replies: >>428257815

throw shit out school bus window at oncoming cars like yogurt, grapes, cheese sticks, and even a calculator once


Anonymous (ID: IdYl/ZQ3) 10/01/12(Mon)18:41:54No.428252035

File: 1349131314604.jpg-(40 KB, 336×330, 1319626532296.jpg)

spat on girls walking home from school
they didn’t do anything and I didn’t even know them


Anonymous (ID: WeYMgSiK) 10/01/12(Mon)18:43:38No.428252276

>be in 3rd grade
>last day of school
>asshole teacher left classroom during lunch
>door unlocked
>2 friends and I walk in casually
>flip over desks
>piss all over the teachers desk
>still not enough
>poop in her jacket
>smear shit all over the whiteboard
>throw papers everywhere
>walk out casually
>took a seat outside
>watched teacher come back
>freak out
>didn’t even know it was us


Anonymous (ID: LJtsl4Om) 10/01/12(Mon)18:44:41 No.428252410

Replies: >>428253071 >>428254176 >>428258634 >>428263010

>I was a little ninja thief.
>In 1st grade, I stole over 3 dozen erasers, several boxes of pencils, and a stack of construction paper.
>In 2nd, I stole about 2 dozen geography and history books from the library, which I burned after reading them.
>3rd, stole some Goosebumps books which were out of print to add to my own collection after figuring out how to remove the super sticky tape and labels without damaging the covers.
4th, Pokemon cards all up in this bitch. I used to befriend kids who had large card collections, hang out with them for a week, then started stealing their holographics. Never got caught, or even called out, but I think some figured it out eventually.
>5th, I stole nothing, but used to annoy a kid who cried easily (he would get so frustrated, and screech like a wounded pig after half an hour of making annoying, distracting sounds while looking right at him.)
>In 6th, I stole magazines from lockers. Also, had to steal back some games which a “friend” had stolen the previous weekend. Stupid fucker tried to act like they were his, when I had marked the inside of the slots with a Sharpie.
>7th, we started using those Bic mechanical pencils. I stole too many of these to count, along with many little containers of “lead”. Also, some bitch teacher’s bag of Jolly Ranchers.
>8th, I stole from stores. Probably $200 worth of candy, Red Bulls, and other little things.

I completely stopped during the summer between 8th and 9th grade.


Anonymous (ID: FY6a3TSK) 10/01/12(Mon)18:49:09 No.428253071

me and my friends found an underground compartment to the basketball court in our school. we found it connected to the “store random shit” part of the school, so we took everything of value and hid it under the basketball court. honestly i thought it was a dream, but everyone i know says it happened and the wall we painted with the paint and paint brushes we stole is still visable.


Anonymous (ID: gjUFvd0q) 10/01/12(Mon)18:51:20 No.428253360

File: 1349131880544.gif-(487 KB, 240×176,4121950+_901c3f8412e8fefe(…).gif)

fuck me 10/10 anon, 10/10


Anonymous (ID: K8cCFSRt) 10/01/12(Mon)18:52:39 No.428253534

File: 1349131959481.jpg-(47 KB, 350×392, 1344436564936.jpg)

its not elementary school.. but its middle school…

>id have science class every other day and the teacher was a downer.. he was always depressed and acted like he didnt care about anything (which he didnt)
>every class me and my friend would go to his computer (while he was in the hallway making sure kids werent late for class)
>we would open up like 10 google searches of porn


>same class
>wasnt feeling so i called in to go home “sick”
>after calling home i started doing a worksheet that had to be turned in
>took pb sandwhich i had, put it inside textbok i was using, slammed book, pd sandwhich everywhere like all over the desk, inside book on the cover lol
>walk out class and go home
>next class teacher says someone did this to textbook, everyone looks at me and laughs
>mfw no fucks were given


Anonymous (ID: Xmgg1lFK) 10/01/12(Mon)18:52:46 No.428253546


I dont get it. Would you be so kind as to explain?


Anonymous (ID: h6Utf1e2) 10/01/12(Mon)18:53:02 No.428253579

>be 4th grade
>girl catches ladybug and is letting it walk on the ground and showing her friends
>walk up with my friends
>squish it
>lol with my friends
>girl cries


Anonymous (ID: gjUFvd0q) 10/01/12(Mon)18:53:29No.428253635

lose yourself by eminem, last couple parts are the lyrics


Anonymous (ID: HQ5H8FGn) 10/01/12(Mon)18:54:35 No.428253779


File: 1349132075137.jpg-(128 KB, 639×427, poop plate.jpg)

>be 12
>live in cul de sac
>have group of friends
>”we own dis shit”
>be faggot neighbor kid who stinks
>time to fuck with him
>older friend poops on paper plate
>so much poop
>pic related
>smear the poop filled plate on their moms cars hubcap
>next day
>see dog licking poop off hubcap
>dog runs to them
>licks them


Anonymous (ID: zRftvrNL) 10/01/12(Mon)18:56:05 No.428253991

Set fire to my project and left it on my bitch art teacher’s desk, spread rumours about her, sent her to therapy.
>there’s only so many times you can be asked, ‘when’s it due?’ when you’re just a fat bitch


Anonymous (ID: zRftvrNL) 10/01/12(Mon)18:57:35 No.428254176

Replies: >>428255126

If your name is Matthew Rajun I’m gonna fucking kill you. All my Ancient Mews, promos and shinies, and upwards of 300 cards. CUNT


Anonymous (ID: Vb2AfVk1) 10/01/12(Mon)18:57:42No.428254185

File: 1349132262369.jpg-(77 KB, 256×320, 1341827277194.jpg)

>shitty spring-loaded paintball gun to school
>didn’t find a good opportunity to use it
>bus ride home
>see posh kids walking home from grammar school
>load gun
>point it out the window
>shoot kid in the head
>everyone on the bus laughs uncontrollably
>look back and he his lying on the floor
>still laughing now and this was 7 years ago


Anonymous (ID: zknKc53w) 10/01/12(Mon)18:59:11 No.428254395

In first grade I spit on a girl
In second I stole a big ass box of crayons from the school set, freaked out, and hid it in a girls backpack. When she found them she brought them to the teacher and the teacher thought she stole them. She got a referral.
Also my cumbox.


Anonymous (ID: G6+Lq6AW) 10/01/12(Mon)19:04:12 No.428255126

i know that feel … 200+ cards gone ….
thou i found out that the dudes that stole from me got some bad karma … 1 got ran over, one lost his and and the other 2 got HIV … apparently brothers shouldnt share needles, how bout that …


Anonymous (ID: ZlD8rEAJ) 10/01/12(Mon)19:07:18No.428255539

>Be in 5th grade
>Last day of school
>Call girl a slut
>Have no idea what it is
>Get in big trouble
>Insincerely apologize to slut
>Forgot all about it till now.


Anonymous (ID: PFwc33O0) 10/01/12(Mon)19:09:49 No.428255885


True story…
>7th grade in Australia
>go to really shitty school
>Have art teacher who is Spanish or arab (who cares was a cunt)
>get into random argument with her for no reason
>Stay behind after class anon
>everyone else leaves
>she bitches at me
>leave class mad
>slap own face just enough so its red
>Walk out shocked and tell principle that teacher slapped me
>Principle freaks out
>never see other teacher again


Anonymous (ID: UKLOTVtc) 10/01/12(Mon)19:10:06 No.428255914


I was thinking for a moment, no 6th grader would say that. 2/10


Anonymous (ID: 6dRehhi+) 10/01/12(Mon)19:10:17No.428255949

>Big fat ginger
>Half of entire asscrack out
>walk by
>shove pencil down asscrack
>lol till sides hurt


Anonymous (ID: kycTOBqQ) 10/01/12(Mon)19:11:52No.428256140

that is pretty win


Anonymous (ID: rnXp8vM2) 10/01/12(Mon)19:12:18No.428256192

Was seriously expecting an Ed, Edd, and Eddy joke…


Anonymous (ID: bA0w/Hpa) 10/01/12(Mon)19:14:19 No.428256470

not really elementary but second day of grade 7
>be in gym class
>teacher tells us to change for our second gym class, the first we just fucked around
>be in changeroom feeling really uncomfortable
>go take a shit in change room washroom
>finish but not toilet paper
>go outside with pants at ankles
>find a towel and proceed to wipe my ass clean
>go to gym class a bit late
>after class “anon did you use my towel?”
>deny, deny, deny
>never got caught to this day


Anonymous (ID: QZQI07z2) 10/01/12(Mon)19:14:23 No.428256476

Replies: >>428258083

Me and my friends didn’t like one of the older kids, so we
>stole his hat, put into a toilet
>all 4 of us pissed on it
>one of us shit on it
>I tried to flush it
>didn’t work.
>toilet got clogged and water started flooding out of it
>ran away.
We still laugh about it from time to time, I can’t remember if we got in trouble for it, I don’t think we did.


Anonymous (ID: aNyUv2CK) 10/01/12(Mon)19:14:25 No.428256482

Replies: >>428257324 >>428263308 >>428266814

File: 1349133265751.jpg-(15 KB, 432×216, Buster.jpg)

I don’t know if this is dickish but I used to masturbate in the middle of class. I’m talking daily for 3 or 4 years until I got into high school and decided it was time to actually try talk to girls.
Everytime I saw some girl’s panties or cleavage, I would get so hard and reach into my pocket and start wacking away.
I trained and learned how to make it not noticeable and still get that masturbate feel without jerking it as viciously as I do nowadays.
>mfw some douchebag walked up to me after class and said he knew what I was doing under the desk


Anonymous (ID: C3J2Wnmt) 10/01/12(Mon)19:15:42 No.428256651


File: 1349133342578.png-(131 KB, 492×358, 11111.png)

>be in 3rd grade
>fun thing to do was kick your shoe off into the air
>I wore steeltoe boots
>kid kicks his shoe off
>Im walking behind him
>kick my boot off as hard as possible
>flies into back of his head
>he falls on the ground crying
>mfw because I didnt like him
>i hide in play tires the rest of lunchbreak


Anonymous (ID: l7hKlVXo) 10/01/12(Mon)19:15:47 No.428256658

>huge green area where most of the kids were
>playing with snow
>me and buddies pretend to cover annoying 5th grader in snow
>actually beat him up
>every winter, always


Anonymous (ID: WAElyvTR) 10/01/12(Mon)19:16:13 No.428256704

File: 1349133373197.jpg-(14 KB, 250×188, pic (1192).jpg)

97% of people fall instantly asleep after visiting this website

A weird phemomenon that even scientisst don’t have a proper explanation for. pic(59).jpg


Anonymous (ID: RL+o5vlQ) 10/01/12(Mon)19:16:19 No.428256724

Replies: >>428270190>>428270416

>Be 8 year old femanon
>Ask friend to show me his penis
>He shows
>Hall monitor catches him


Anonymous (ID: sxzQIbxg) 10/01/12(Mon)19:16:28 No.428256737

Replies: >>428262872

I did the same thing with my friends for Hurricane Katrina. Probably the worst thing I’ve ever done and I honestly regret doing it (fucking bad karma lol). I am a little relieved to know other people did shit like that too.


Anonymous (ID: bmFeQfVu) 10/01/12(Mon)19:16:46No.428256786

> be sitting in the back of the class making animal noises
> teacher is getting pissed off
> Teacher yells at another kid, blaming him
> we keep making animal noises
> he gets sent out of class and gets detention
> 😀


Anonymous (ID: FI5zP8UU) 10/01/12(Mon)19:17:31 No.428256896


File: 1349133451013.png-(156 KB, 270×271, 1348413973827.png)

>In class
>just chillin trying to make a clay rhino
>kid goes to take a piss
>everyone is silent
>loudest fucking noise ever
>louder than Anne Frank
>girls start laughing, kid is crying
>few days later
>need to take a huge piss
>drank 2 juice boxes
>remembers the kid whiping his dick out and pissing a fountain
>fuck that
>takes a piss in the garbage can
>few days later…
>teacher takes all the boys out
>tells us someone has been taking a piss in the garbage can
>dont tell anyone
>no one knew it was me


Anonymous (ID: ib3rW7YZ) 10/01/12(Mon)19:18:33No.428257026

>>428248779 (OP)
Try to fit in


Anonymous (ID: 4wDf4ewu) 10/01/12(Mon)19:18:33No.428257027

>>428248779 (OP)
Stole Yu Go Oh cards all the fucking time
Stole money from class fundraiser
I used to lift up girls skirts and pull their panties down


Anonymous (ID: 8fzD2lVj) 10/01/12(Mon)19:19:30 No.428257136

Replies: >>428263128

>3rd grade
>have a fat stinky indian girl in class
>me n buddy kick her one day at recess and call her stinky creambuff
>cries her eyes out
>only get 2 days detention (detention was 30 minutes long)
>mfw that girl is hot as fuck nowadays but has HUGE problems with anorexia and bulimia. fucking lol


Anonymous (ID: ebRY11FL) 10/01/12(Mon)19:20:39No.428257293

>be like 8
>called fat bitch”a whale”
>told to apologize
>sorry for calling you a fat whale


Anonymous (ID: ZlD8rEAJ) 10/01/12(Mon)19:20:51 No.428257324


Teach us your secrets, Oh Wise One.


Anonymous (ID: FJqc32hO) 10/01/12(Mon)19:20:54 No.428257334


>Be 6th grade
>Running on track
>Asshole girls place fucking wad of gum on my arm
>they say they’re sorry
>I take gum
>pull out girls hair
>Shove the gum in her hair
>ask her if she likes it
>she cries
>runs off
>Her friend stands their speechless
>I keep running in victory


Anonymous (ID: 2N+nd4an) 10/01/12(Mon)19:22:14 No.428257508

>be in 4th grade, last day of school
>total faggot in my class, pissed me off all year and got me in trouble
>we had recess
>towards end of recess, I just completely kicked his ass
>choked him, kicked him in the head, everything
>walk back inside (everybody else was already inside, I was alone with kid
>5 minutes later, faggot kid comes in, sobbing
>tells on me
>Teacher: “did you do something to faggot’s neck?
>me: nope
>teacher: ok
>teacher hated him too
>never got in trouble


Anonymous (ID: WLi6grXx) 10/01/12(Mon)19:23:16 No.428257658


Shit, I used to do that in 3rd grade too, except we’d launch them off while we we on the swing set so it got like 30ft of air.


Anonymous (ID: mrclRP2n) 10/01/12(Mon)19:24:13 No.428257771

File: 1349133853017.jpg-(27 KB, 412×352, 1348250182900.jpg)

>be in class
>room has vent close to floor that sucks in air to recycle it through the air conditioner
>take of shoes after PE
>put dirty smelly feet (with 2 day old socks lol) in front of vent
>rancid smell gets cycled into room
>MFW when we had to leave the room and no one every knew what it was from


Anonymous (ID: v1F9dDqZ) 10/01/12(Mon)19:24:35 No.428257815

I’ve had my windshield cracked because of a little shit like you.


Anonymous (ID: FpUFUAtj) 10/01/12(Mon)19:24:44 No.428257838

> kid is pissing me off
> recess
> playground
> hey look what I have in my hand douchebag
> open up hand and throw sand in his face
> teachers thought he lied when he told on me and gave him detention


Anonymous (ID: 8E0oXhnE) 10/01/12(Mon)19:25:34 No.428257961

Replies: >>428262113

File: 1349133934358.gif-(1.11 MB, 320×240, 1344376767229.gif)

>be in kindargarden.
>playing with some dumb toy, might have been a train.
>other kid walks up
>this kid always takes the stuff i want to play with
>starts arguing/fighting over the dumb toy
>teacher comes over
>she’s some mid-thirties fat chick
>she asks us what happened, knowing i get in posessive fights all the time
>she takes the toy and gives it to him even though i had it first
>get super pissed, wind up spinning around and punching her so hard in the gut that she fell backwards and passed out

I was a fucking boss as a kid. Nearly got expelled for that.


Anonymous (ID: n4GLQC9M) 10/01/12(Mon)19:25:48 No.428257994

>me and my friend spit on a kid that lived with his grandparents
>pulled on a girls legs while she was playing on the jungle gym… her cousin is paralyzed because someone did that to her and she fell

thats about it i was a pretty nice kid mostly


Anonymous (ID: aNyUv2CK) 10/01/12(Mon)19:26:10 No.428258042

Replies: >>428264081

Trick is to wear jeans, angle your dick down and put your hand on top of it from inside your pocket and move it back and forth slowly without rousing suspicion,
put one of your feet on your opposite knee so you just look like you’re getting comfortable
little do they know know how comfortable you actually are


Anonymous (ID: 85QSJ2ma) 10/01/12(Mon)19:26:25 No.428258083

Replies: >>428261406

You stupid mother fucker. Someone took my hat in 6th grade and did this shit! Are you in New York?

mind fucking blown


Anonymous (ID: tM58KEW7) 10/01/12(Mon)19:27:04 No.428258167

Most I can ever remember doing was trying to spread my cold/flu whenever I got slightly sick. Breathing on drinking fountains, wiping my hands on doorknobs and other things that multiple people were going to touch.

Seemed pretty harmless back then, but looking back it was a really dick move.


Anonymous (ID: bA0w/Hpa) 10/01/12(Mon)19:29:17 No.428258447

>be in 5th grade
>pantsing people is the new thing, girls do it boys do it
>catch my good friend hanging from the monkey bars
>pants the shit out of him that even his boxers fall down
>exposed penis to everyone for a good 7 seconds
>he gets embarrassed as fuck and never talks to me again


Anonymous (ID: 9/YX3ZVi) 10/01/12(Mon)19:29:21 No.428258454

Replies: >>428263647>>428264197

>Energy Drinks



Anonymous (ID: hbmZGxfK) 10/01/12(Mon)19:29:45No.428258516

>>428248779 (OP)
>be kindergarten
>arts and crafts
>derping along on some handturkey
>kid next to me cuts my sweater with scissors
>take scissors stab kids hand
>safety scissors weren’t invented
>principle calls parents
>but he did it first!
>fuck you anon
>spit on kid when supposed to apologize
>removed from school


Anonymous (ID: XzVsrPzw) 10/01/12(Mon)19:30:22 No.428258596

File: 1349134222205.jpg-(29 KB, 500×286, 218179_503417443009693_16(…).jpg)

>Verbal Bully

I still hate myself for doing this. I’m sure I’ve hurt so many people and I regret it so much.


Anonymous (ID: LJtsl4Om) 10/01/12(Mon)19:30:38 No.428258634

Replies: >>428266263

I just pulled out some more memories of being a prick as a kid.

>Throughout elementary, there were grasshoppers everywhere during recess. I loved to catch them, then throw them at people. I also crushed them with big pieces of mulch inside of the playground tubes and on the bottoms of slides, so others would get guts on their clothes.

>Buying 1 lock every week for 2 months with my allowance in 3rd grade, so I could put them on lockers, and someone had to cut them off.

>Pissing into the toilet paper holder/enclosure (just imagine the pose that this took).

>Scribbling on walls and lockers with a big, industrial permanent marker.

>Leaving the sink on in the classroom restroom in 1st grade.

>Kicking school-owned balls onto the roof during the last minute of recess or gym. Taking someone else’s ball and doing this was hilarious.

>Writing a 3-page 2nd grade essay in mirror form, so everything was backwards.

>Stole money from mom and blamed my sister, who was caught doing it.

>Used dad’s soldering gun to remove components from sister’s PlayStation’s motherboard, then put it back together and acted like I had no idea why it wasn’t turning on.

>Sprinting across the street at night to piss on neighbor’s car, sometimes the house doorknob if I was brave enough.

>4th grade, 15 year old sister steals my Charizard card. Punch holes through her door and punch her in the side of her ribs before stealing it back. The hoebag bent the lower right corner. Have recurring dreams of her stealing and destroying my stuff for weeks.

I’m out of stories.


Anonymous (ID: mrclRP2n) 10/01/12(Mon)19:31:39 No.428258769

Replies: >>428259271

File: 1349134299358.jpg-(229 KB, 761×822, 1347597873961.jpg)

thought of a couple more

>tell asshole best friend to stand behind someone
>”pass” a ball to him
>nail person in head as hard as I can

>we all bullied some weird kid who wore briefs cuzz boxers were cool and other stuff were for fags
>be chaning in PE
>me and friends run in and pelt him with multiple dodge balls

>same kid
>doesnt like his stuff being touched
>sneak up and touch his back pack
>film him raging and lol our asses off

>same kid is playing DS in class
>teacher let him cuzz he was weird and had issues
>he’s in middle of epic long pokemon battle
>turn off his DS
>run outside while he chases me

i’ll try to think of more, i was a huge dick up until highschool


Anonymous (ID: qtiSp8J9) 10/01/12(Mon)19:31:56 No.428258793

I don’t understand. Was the toilet in the same room as your class?


Anonymous (ID: z+ST1Ggw) 10/01/12(Mon)19:32:22 No.428258843

File: 1349134342000.jpg-(72 KB, 450×373, 35452245345346346.jpg)

>this isn’t me being dickish but a kid cries so fuck it.
>be 7th grade
>my friend likes llamas
>add faggot we hate say’s he hates llamas
>I start jokingly calling him a “llama hater” at lunch
>suddenly he’s gone doesn’t even show up to class
>half an hour through class get called down
>have no fucking clue why
>walk into room see teacher and add kid with red teary eyes
>teacher accuses me of bullying him
>stick t my guns that it was a fucking joke (because it was a FUCKING JOKE)
>didn’t get into trouble
>mfw i made a kid cry by calling him a llama hater under 10 times


Anonymous (ID: w1LqYbVL) 10/01/12(Mon)19:32:50 No.428258895

>be with asian friend in like 1st grade
>messing around with bug under tree during recess
>girl comes over
>tell her to leave us alone
>she doesn’t leave
>leave or i’ll…. i’ll…. i’ll cut you with scissors!!!
>get sent home with no consequences
>i was a ruthless motherfucker


Anonymous (ID: KqsI5seZ) 10/01/12(Mon)19:32:58 No.428258917

>everyone sitting on carpet during show and tell
>teacher says ‘Thomas! You’re in Anon’s way, move!’
>he moves
>I slowly slide over to the right so he’s in my way again
>teacher notices
>Thomas! Come up to the front if you can’t sit out of people’s way!
>I am an evil genius


Anonymous (ID: Pe59imPP) 10/01/12(Mon)19:33:06 No.428258932

Replies: >>428259081>>428259837

>be 6th grade
>get lunch and get a lot of ketchup packets
>twist one side so its about to blow up
>walk around lunchroom talking to friends
>drop pressurized ketchup packets on walkway
>wait for people to step on them and LOL

it sprays in one direction so whomever is in the path gets ketchup’d


Anonymous (ID: ra8MqVTJ) 10/01/12(Mon)19:34:14No.428259081

Haha fuck yeah i used to do that shit all the time


Anonymous (ID: tpnQhX+F) 10/01/12(Mon)19:35:49 No.428259270

Scammed kids of their Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Made fart noises in class because I was bored as fuck because I finished my work super fast.

Didn’t do too crazy shit until mid/high school


Anonymous (ID: vkPgYD2R) 10/01/12(Mon)19:35:49 No.428259271


>playing DS in class
>elemntary school

either are you retarded or a edgy 12 year old who goes on 4chan


Anonymous (ID: +kuV8D+d) 10/01/12(Mon)19:35:58 No.428259289

>Be in kindergarten
>Get bored during reading time
>Ask teacher to use bathroom
>Go to bathroom that was in the classroom
>Poorly lit
>Decide to piss all over the bathroom
>Do this the whole year
>Janitor informs my teacher that he is tired of cleaning the whole bathroom covered in piss
>Was never caught


Anonymous (ID: wfkvrvi1) 10/01/12(Mon)19:35:59No.428259292

lel we got that shit to.


Anonymous (ID: lhzQXApb) 10/01/12(Mon)19:36:25 No.428259341

File: 1349134585119.jpg-(10 KB, 200×200, not-a-single-fuck-was-giv(…).jpg)

>3rd grade
>time to turn in homework
>reach into my desk to grab my assignment
>it’s not done
>ponder what the fuck to do so mom doesn’t kick my fucking ass
>go over to the bin of turned in assignments
>quickly peruse through and find one with no name
>write my name on it
>turn it in

>next day
>everyone turned in their homework except anonette
>girl in the back starts crying instantly
>”wahhh i turned it in i always do my homework wahhh”
>teacher goes over to console her but ultimately gives her a 0% for the assignment



Anonymous (ID: iCrSe99L) 10/01/12(Mon)19:37:22No.428259454

File: 1349134642084.jpg-(21 KB, 463×483, 1349066804535.jpg)



Anonymous (ID: uPri0Oxx) 10/01/12(Mon)19:37:31 No.428259471


>>428248779 (OP)

>4th grade


Are you 10 years old?


Anonymous (ID: MXJ1KadG) 10/01/12(Mon)19:37:39 No.428259487

Replies: >>428260469 >>428260792 >>428262282 >>428265215

>be in 4th grade
>beginning to be curious about sex
>have friend who’s a girl
>she trusts me and we’re totally cool
>we hang out at her house, she lives with her mom only and the mom went to the store or something (great parenting)
>ask girl to play truth or dare
>”ok anon”
>dare her to get naked
>she hesitates, then says only if you do
>both naked
>have sex
>did this for 4 more years

not really bad but meh


>be in 5th grade
>teacher keeps huge bag of candy in her desk for when kids do the right thing
>stay in this abandoned supply closet with a broken lock after school for 4 hours, parents think i’m at a friends house
>patience pays off, i’m the only one in the school
>go in her room
>shit in the bag, lots of shit
>close bag tightly so smell doesn’t get out
>next day
>girl helps everyone with math
>”oh let me give you some candy”
>mfw i’ll never forget the teacher’s face when she pulled her hand out and she had a handful of shit


Anonymous (ID: RDRhXdFG) 10/01/12(Mon)19:38:38 No.428259573


Your and idiot


Anonymous (ID: z+ST1Ggw) 10/01/12(Mon)19:39:30No.428259694

also got something from daycare

>be 5 or 4
>clean up time
>bitch won’t get off the carpet
>ask her
>yank it from under her
>she falls and smacks her head pretty well
>didn’t even get in trouble


Anonymous (ID: keLGllMf) 10/01/12(Mon)19:39:57 No.428259759

>be 3rd grade during recess
> line for the slide
>didn’t want to wait
>cut everyone
>kid pushes me down slide ruining my fun (i dont know why it pissed me off)
>waited for him to go down slide
>punched him in the face and broke his nose
>taking huge shit in toilet
>gets clogged
>keep flushing trying to get it to work
>flood bathroom
>blame it on this bully in school
>he gets called poopy pants from now until end of middle school
>mfw i made a looser


Anonymous (ID: lH94qt+E) 10/01/12(Mon)19:40:11No.428259785

Fucking genius!


Anonymous (ID: qtiSp8J9) 10/01/12(Mon)19:40:20 No.428259807

>be in preschool
>throw sand in faces of children on playground
>claim the hottest chick in class as “my girlfriend” (don’t remember if she agreed to it or not)
>shove into “the line” to be next to her
>at one point, beat up teacher for trying to talk to me about my behavior
>no repercussions for any of this

And now I’m a pussy beta faggot. What happened?


Anonymous (ID: Pe59imPP) 10/01/12(Mon)19:40:33 No.428259837

Replies: >>428261184>>428262086

also not elementary but still

>be junior in highschool
>friends and i get our license
>we go to lowe’s
>1x5x8 board of plywood+ 1k of nails
>put all nails into the plywood
>lay the board right on the other side of hill at night time
>drive down the street to a park and wait…
>toe truck and police later drive down the street
funny as hell


Anonymous (ID: Laja3qia) 10/01/12(Mon)19:41:08No.428259908

File: 1349134868084.jpg-(20 KB, 205×245, image.jpg)

>snotty kid
>snot all over the back wall
>I blamed it on the fat kid
>no one ever found out


Anonymous (ID: fKIRK1YX) 10/01/12(Mon)19:43:39 No.428260234

Replies: >>428260957 >>428261694 >>428267072

I felt kinda justified for this one, but whatever.

>Be in 5th/6th year, learning to swim
>Be with best friend, doing those silly clappy game things at break time
>Humongous fat bitch comes up and spits gum on my friend, because she (my friend) was sitting close to a garbage bin.
>Stand up and shove her away, call her bitch.
>Teacher sees, tries to make us hug and make up
>I take the gum she spat and smear it all through her ponytail as we have to hug.
>She runs away crying, I get a detention and have to compliment her once a day for two weeks (retarded school)
>Next day, she comes back with significantly shorter hair
>My compliment for the next two weeks is “Nice haircut”.


Anonymous (ID: JRIwsliX) 10/01/12(Mon)19:45:27 No.428260469


Too much man, too much.


Anonymous (ID: wmuP8BiB) 10/01/12(Mon)19:47:43 No.428260784

Replies: >>428263150 >>428263565

Im not using greentext because this is a long one.

I was in thirdgrade and it so happened that nearly all the kids in my class were latino, or spanish, we even had a spanish speaking teacher. So I was pretty much fucked when it came to communication with any of them. Being the fucked up little kid I was. I had mental issues, and my head told me that If I swallowed the spit in my mouth, I would turn into “mojo jojo” That fucker from the powerpuff girls. I saved up my spit, seconds turned to minutes, minutes to about half an hour.
teacher asks us to read out loud and calls on me. I tried to pronounce one word before I protectile spat a huge fucking planet of spit at some mexican kid. He was horrified. screaming.


Anonymous (ID: eqnC7We9) 10/01/12(Mon)19:47:48No.428260792

File: 1349135268027.jpg-(88 KB, 622×562, 1344530988675.jpg)

she pulled her hand out and she had a handful of shit


Anonymous (ID: T0stltkR) 10/01/12(Mon)19:48:52 No.428260934

>little pond near school
>convince retard to walk on frozen pond
>ice holds
>steal his bike
>he tries to get off ice, falls, ice breaking.
>threw bike on otherside of pond
>went home
>his dad came at my door
>parents out for groceries.
>open door, throw glass of coke(the actual glass) in his face
>slam door shut in his face
>never heard anything for a month
>they moved.


Anonymous (ID: GPTdujIh) 10/01/12(Mon)19:49:02No.428260957

File: 1349135342436.jpg-(10 KB, 200×200, Random-008.jpg)



Anonymous (ID: CtfKvfkt) 10/01/12(Mon)19:49:03 No.428260960

Replies: >>428262353

File: 1349135343571.jpg-(26 KB, 480×263, sexy_librarian.jpg)

>>428248779 (OP)
cum in teacher coffe, fuck the librarian, wanking in class, smoke some marihuana before school, steal some pencils(what an idiot) smoke cigarrettes in the bathroom, steal 2 cans of speed from some nun(yeah a catholic school)

librarian woman was something like that, old but really beautiful, and single, she fuck one kid every week


Anonymous (ID: 4QhuAxhK) 10/01/12(Mon)19:49:12 No.428260985


apps as in computer applications you fucking retard, not iphone apps.


Anonymous (ID: MXJ1KadG) 10/01/12(Mon)19:49:21 No.428261012


Once in recess I went with that same girl behind the trees and licked an asshole for the first time


Anonymous (ID: YQZzPIXM) 10/01/12(Mon)19:49:47 No.428261082


> Be playing baseball at recess
> just me and my friend
> homerun derby bitches
> up to bat
> throw bat back, (homerun, felt alpha)
> hit him in the face with it
> he falls
> face bleeding, few teeth out
> nobody saw, tell him if he tell ill do it again
> he lies to the teacher
> told him he fell or some shit
> next week
> we played wall ball but with a baseball bat
> toothless is fucking around in a trashcan
> thinks hes oscar
> pisses me off
> walk over
> hes hiding with the cover of the trashcan on top
> he hops up
> i bash his shit with aluminum bat
> he falls back
> looks up at me
> “why! agaiin! whyyyyy!”
> he can barely talk
> few people see him
> say it was an accident
> never got in trouble

We’re bros now.


Anonymous (ID: eqnC7We9) 10/01/12(Mon)19:50:30 No.428261184

this is not funny, you just made him loose lots of cash because of your stupidity, but still I don’t know why I’m giving a fuck since I don’t live in murica


Anonymous (ID: 9Z4TdE7u) 10/01/12(Mon)19:51:14No.428261306

You are a God.


Anonymous (ID: nE0HdEXY) 10/01/12(Mon)19:51:25 No.428261329

God damn envious Mexicans. I can never trust those fucking spics with my money.


Anonymous (ID: QZQI07z2) 10/01/12(Mon)19:51:53No.428261406

Nah, sorry to get your hopes up for revenge anon


Anonymous (ID: uPypmOY+) 10/01/12(Mon)19:52:05 No.428261434

my and my friend broke every fucking crayon in the communal basket at our table. lay one over the other and just karate chop the fuckers.


Anonymous (ID: eqnC7We9) 10/01/12(Mon)19:52:08No.428261446

File: 1349135528570.jpg-(35 KB, 493×387, 1337361659277.jpg)


Anonymous (ID: tLv4QAIg) 10/01/12(Mon)19:53:17 No.428261618

File: 1349135597187.gif-(968 KB, 380×262, 1344548181587.gif)


>wall ball


that was my favorite fucking game in school, period. it became a thing in like 5th grade, played that shit all the way up to sophomore year.

i miss it


Anonymous (ID: Naz1rvp0) 10/01/12(Mon)19:53:51No.428261694

>nice haircut
lol’d my brains out


Anonymous (ID: hIBk3WlN) 10/01/12(Mon)19:53:54 No.428261703

File: 1349135634374.jpg-(22 KB, 246×246, michael bolton.jpg)

>7th grade
>walking into art room
>backpacks are left outside by the door
>this one girl accidentally steps on the strap of my backpack
>”oops lol sorry anon my bad”
>called her a bitch in the most monotone voice possible
>gives me a perturbed look and walks away
still don’t know why i did that. she probably thought i was autistic or something after that


Anonymous (ID: JRIwsliX) 10/01/12(Mon)19:54:48 No.428261850

Replies: >>428262030 >>428262150 >>428262332 >>428262564 >>428263286>>428263486 >>428271385

I was a pretty evil kid.
>No need for les me me arrows.

1. My little gang of friends and I would routinely push over this obese kid just to watch him roll around pathetically.

2. Cut girls hair while she wasn’t looking

3.Told the class how to make heroine in fourth grade.

4. pulled the fire alarm a couple times.

5. flipped over a cement bench and threw it.

6. Stole stuff just for fun. pickpocketed in middleschool.

7. Threw stuff all the time.

8. Stabbed a kid in the head (his ear) with a construction post, he was hospitalized.

9. Brought a knife to school, twice.

10. Ran away for fun once.

11. Would turn off the lights in the bathrooms, while people were taking shits.

12. Make fun of the tards.

13. Lots of grafitti.

14. general civil unrest,

every time they sent me to a therapist I would just tell the therapist that they we’re useless and really weren’t helping anything at all.


Anonymous (ID: MXJ1KadG) 10/01/12(Mon)19:55:03 No.428261876

>be in 5th grade
>asshole kid in class fucked with me all year, he was significantly taller and I was too scared to do shit
>last day
>he gets in trouble for throwing a french fry at lunch
>now allowed to go on field trip (which was walk to the park, play, and come back)
>half way to park
>break away from group
>asshole kid left his bike unlocked (really good area, nobody would suspect anyone to steal it)
>take it, ride it to the nearby pond
>do a ghost rider into the pond with his bike
>it floats directly to the center and sinks
>4 years later
>walk by lake
>see rusty old bike in the dry lake
>lol for an hour


Anonymous (ID: huWOfuIK) 10/01/12(Mon)19:55:17 No.428261915

File: 1349135717598.png-(768 KB, 620×571, 1231234135.png)

Okay, this isn’t terrible, but alright i guess..

>be in elementary school, around 3rd or 4th grade..
>me and this kid never really got along
>not sure what he did to piss me off this day, but i was pissed for whatever reason
>go up to him and say “I’m gonna go tell the teacher you told me to fuck off”
>go tell teacher he told me to fuck off
>as i stand by within earshot, the teacher walks up to him, and before she says anything he starts pleading to her, “I didn’t swear at anon, I promise!!”
>teacher goes “well then how did you know that’s why i was coming to talk to you?!”
>teacher brings kid to office
>kid gets suspended for foul language.


Anonymous (ID: 01qYZYTO) 10/01/12(Mon)19:56:05 No.428262029


>6th grade
>computer class had old computers that boot from disk
>before school “lab” was open to play games
>went around with magnet to fuck up the boot disks
>classes fucked up

Nothing funny about it, I was just a dick


Anonymous (ID: JRIwsliX) 10/01/12(Mon)19:56:05 No.428262030

*broke not threw.
Also I’d scratch my cousins best friend for fun. My cousin and i pretty much tortured him.


Anonymous (ID: 1h2DY2I0) 10/01/12(Mon)19:56:28 No.428262086

Replies: >>428262321


I have no idea why you would find that funny.



Anonymous (ID: Duuxcoa3) 10/01/12(Mon)19:56:36No.428262113


You sound like a spoiled cunt that didn’t want to share.


Anonymous (ID: JRIwsliX) 10/01/12(Mon)19:56:52No.428262150

Also were* fuck me.


Anonymous (ID: eqnC7We9) 10/01/12(Mon)19:57:42 No.428262247


fucking niggers


Anonymous (ID: hIBk3WlN) 10/01/12(Mon)19:57:56No.428262282

for that second one you are a god among mortals


Anonymous (ID: Pe59imPP) 10/01/12(Mon)19:58:15 No.428262321

Replies: >>428262763

you dont understand.. the nail side was facing up on the road and the drivers of vehicles didnt see it because it was on the other side of a hill.. the ba boom was their tires blowing up..?


Anonymous (ID: 9Z4TdE7u) 10/01/12(Mon)19:58:20No.428262332

11 on this…every fucking day.


Anonymous (ID: XqS/bvC4) 10/01/12(Mon)19:58:29No.428262353

Cool story bro. Can you tell it again, do you have time?


Anonymous (ID: EUQDFDPu) 10/01/12(Mon)19:58:47 No.428262401

Replies: >>428265446

File: 1349135927466.gif-(471 KB, 410×250, 1334252210578.gif)

>Be grade 5.
>Two friends and I are out and about in some woods near a bike path.
>Notice two kids walking by themselves, a year or two younger than us.
>Follow them because it was Friday afternoon and we had nothing else to do.
>One kid takes the shortcut path back to the apartment complex we all lived in.
>Get a head of him to hide. We plan to scare him.
>Nobody else around at all. Just us 3 and this little kid.
>I hide behind a tree and the other two hid on the other side of the path around a bend.
>Kid walks past me. Oblivious.
>Now is the time to strike.
>I fly out from behind the tree and pull his hat (beanie) over his head and hold on so he can’t see anyone.
>Two friends apparently found very large very thick sticks.
>Proceed to hit the fuck out of this kid for what seemed like an hour. Like full on mafia style shit kicking.
>Tell him if he removes his hat we will kill him.
>Run like fuck.
>Police all over the complex asking questions.
>Friends and I hide in my room that evening.
>Never caught.

Same friends and I would make snowballs with jelly in them and throw them at buses, car, houses, people. We would also steal shit from peoples yards, but everyone did so it was in a way a big fucked up trading system, lost something? Look in other peoples yards for it until you find it or find something better. The high school kids would hunt us down from time to time and trap us in these huts they built in the woods. They would block us in and just leave.


Anonymous (ID: 9Z4TdE7u) 10/01/12(Mon)19:59:17 No.428262470

I fucking loved those magazines. they had the coolest shit.


Anonymous (ID: aJqRvVsW) 10/01/12(Mon)19:59:17 No.428262473

Free Starbucks Coffee W0oT!



Anonymous (ID: /FBP7p+o) 10/01/12(Mon)19:59:39 No.428262527

>be 6 or 7, too young to remember anything but this specific incident
>mom is going to store, promise of her buying us stuff, or something
>im trying to get ready as quick as i can, mom heads out to van jokes “if you dont get ready fast enough youre going to miss the trip!”
>i dont take it as a joke, feel serious, trying to get ready, my younger sister takes my socks and wouldnt give them to me
>hear the engine start, initiate ultimate rage
>grab pair of scissors, threaten to cut my sister if she didnt give me my socks
>”nigga you bluffin”
>snip my sisters arm with scissors
>screams like a banshee
>mom comes in, i say its ketchup, doesnt believe

Cant remember anything after that.

Im not a crazy violent guy either : \ pretty chill and laid back.

But i was insane when i was young.

Feel like shit about that too this day.


Anonymous (ID: xfD0v+hg) 10/01/12(Mon)19:59:51 No.428262550

i used to shank autistic kids with really sharp pencils and when they told the teacher on me i said that they were so retarded that they were delusional. got away with it every time.


Anonymous (ID: 1h2DY2I0) 10/01/12(Mon)19:59:57 No.428262564

Replies: >>428263140


Just want to point out that your parents, or whoever raised you, was an incompetent fuck.


Anonymous (ID: 1h2DY2I0) 10/01/12(Mon)20:01:33 No.428262763

Replies: >>428262880>>428263008


I understood THAT part completely.

What I can’t understand is, you fuck up a total stranger’s car, and you laugh?

I mean, where’s the funny part?


Anonymous (ID: nE0HdEXY) 10/01/12(Mon)20:02:22 No.428262872

File: 1349136142530.jpg-(45 KB, 350×473, 1336957490393.jpg)

You’re an awful person and you’ll probably get ran over by a car and paralyzed for life.
>mfw I see you on the morning news


Anonymous (ID: Naz1rvp0) 10/01/12(Mon)20:02:27 No.428262880

Replies: >>428263008>>428263157

Welcome to 4chan.


Anonymous (ID: pSuSTQvX) 10/01/12(Mon)20:03:06No.428262958

You sneaky motherfucker


Anonymous (ID: Pe59imPP) 10/01/12(Mon)20:03:28No.428263008

look at


Anonymous (ID: lI3QQ03U) 10/01/12(Mon)20:03:29No.428263010

are you me?


Anonymous (ID: Smhv3y2q) 10/01/12(Mon)20:03:36No.428263032

File: 1349136216927.jpg-(15 KB, 305×254, BF2_Imtiaz-Ali.jpg)

>in 9th grade
>playing around with basketball
“difference between negro and basketball?
you don’t get to kick the basketball.
>see this group of girls
>one nigger in it
>throw as hard as I can
>mfw I hit her head
>got away with it saying it wasn’t my fault


Anonymous (ID: nE0HdEXY) 10/01/12(Mon)20:04:23No.428263128

File: 1349136263859.png-(245 KB, 480×480, 1339291286652.png)

>mfw karma


Anonymous (ID: JRIwsliX) 10/01/12(Mon)20:04:29 No.428263140

Replies: >>428263984

That’s just the bad stuff I did I was a pretty nice kid, also top of my class. my parents are good people and raised me right.


Anonymous (ID: y+c8Q5C6) 10/01/12(Mon)20:04:32No.428263150

File: 1349136272931.png-(19 KB, 382×468, 1347937379144.png)



Anonymous (ID: eqnC7We9) 10/01/12(Mon)20:04:36No.428263157

File: 1349136276521.png-(11 KB, 445×431, HURRR.png)



Anonymous (ID: Fg2pC1n0) 10/01/12(Mon)20:04:56No.428263196

File: 1349136296395.png-(108 KB, 294×294, koolaid-good.png)

>4th grade
>have chess class for some reason
>teacher is a russian dick lover
>talks like he’s the world champion of everything
>get in an argument about some shit
>get sick of his ass
>being a midget 4th grader
>jump on his desk
>smack him in the face
>calls principle
>while he’s gone class starts clapping
>he’s back
>everybody stops
>go to his office
>yells at me for half an hour
>get sent home
>suspended for two days
>never see dick teacher again
>mfw new teacher is epic as fuck
>mfw even the bullies thank me for getting him to quit
>mfw didn’t bully me for two months


Anonymous (ID: imT60YWR) 10/01/12(Mon)20:05:07 No.428263220

Replies: >>428263506 >>428264310 >>428264797

File: 1349136307179.png-(75 KB, 400×388, 1347628352255.png)

>Be 14
>Light teacher’s desk on fire
>Blame it on autistic kid
>Doesn’t defend himself just cries and hits his own head
>Gets expelled
>Find out a decade later he committed suicide because of years of bullying, while I’m graduating college and starting a decent job
>Feels kinda bad man


Anonymous (ID: hIBk3WlN) 10/01/12(Mon)20:05:30No.428263286

>Brought a knife to school, twice.
Boy that sure sounds dickish.


Anonymous (ID: nE0HdEXY) 10/01/12(Mon)20:05:44 No.428263308

not dickish, just weird. By all means, elaborate. Give me some specific stories or examples, or maybe a time where you almost got caught, or when you fist started doing this.


Anonymous (ID: w3iPQMVK) 10/01/12(Mon)20:06:24No.428263394

>be 12
>lived in cul de sac
>broke and stole shit all the time
>one of my friends parents buy him a fucking go cart
>he let me ride around in it like a total bro
>one day that fucker decides to cross me
>puts gum in my mother fucking hair
>no more than an hour later
>I get my dads wire cutters
>find my friends go cart
>cut out every fucking wire I could find.


Anonymous (ID: 0uX5p9P5) 10/01/12(Mon)20:07:01No.428263486

>3.Told the class how to make heroine in fourth grade.
oh boy does that sound legit
1/10, 4/10 if it wasn’t for this one


Anonymous (ID: tLv4QAIg) 10/01/12(Mon)20:07:10No.428263506

File: 1349136430072.jpg-(46 KB, 505×490, 1290967797094.jpg)


he is in a better place now, friend.


Anonymous (ID: cM2TLMss) 10/01/12(Mon)20:07:13 No.428263514

>be in 5th grade
>be chillin on the playground
>talking about tits
>fat kid comes over and starts trying to talk
>still talking about tits
>tell him he has tits
>call him TITmus, tittyman, etc.
>kid tells his teacher
>makes me write apology note
>write shitty one sentence note

This is by far not one of the worst things I did in elementary school but it’s all I can remember for now.


Anonymous (ID: QZQI07z2) 10/01/12(Mon)20:07:36No.428263565

my fucking sides


Anonymous (ID: OhaUQN/5) 10/01/12(Mon)20:07:56 No.428263595

File: 1349136476072.jpg-(2 KB, 127×86, 1302138990049s.jpg)

this was actually my buddy’s prank
>be in 5th grade
>oregon trail game inspires 2 nerds to hunt for gold
>every day at recess they spend entire time digging for treasure in exactly the same place
>friend sees opportunity
>paints rocks with gold paint and buries them in the spot early in the morning
>nerds find rocks at lunch and lose their shit, running around playground yelling “we told you we’d do it! you all thought we were retarded!”
>friend and i laughing hysterically
>beaming, they take worthless rocks to principal’s office, for this brief moment they feel like gods
>they return to class lifeless and defeated, all of their dreams destroyed
>my friend proceeds to humiliate them for their ignorance and gets sent to principal
>principal laughs when he confesses
>mfw they never dug again


Anonymous (ID: 0imFUEAb) 10/01/12(Mon)20:08:09 No.428263625

>7th grade
>play volley ball in gym class ftw
>girl I hate is on the other side of the net talking shit
>ball comes my way
>jump up and spike it so it hits her right in the face
>girl cries and gets led out of room by teachers while my fellow classmates laugh
>teammates high-five me
>always get picked first for teams afterwards


Anonymous (ID: 5tL6Y2qM) 10/01/12(Mon)20:08:17No.428263647

What, you think energy drinks didn’t exist in 2001?


Anonymous (ID: T0stltkR) 10/01/12(Mon)20:08:59 No.428263740

>Christmas dinner with class
>Everyone had to bring something
>I called PB
>Emptied PB jar at home, took a shit in it, mixxed with some PB
>Took it to Christmas dinner
>Watch teacher make sandwich with PB
>Burst into tears of laughing
>Start foodfight during christmas dinner
>ShitPB everywhere.


Anonymous (ID: MXJ1KadG) 10/01/12(Mon)20:09:03 No.428263746

Replies: >>428265745 >>428266606

>1980’s, different time in terms of rules
>elementary school has snowball fight for all kids (shit was kinda epic too, 200 kids against eachother on a football field)
>given a 2 weeks notice of said event
>make snowball as big as softball, packed together as hard as possible
>cover in water, put in back of freezer
>repeat process for 13 days
>snowball fight day
>had snowball in my backpack on way to school, put it in an XL ziplock bag with ice so it wouldn’t melt (I was a clever little shit)
>went to bathroom to hide ziplock bag in pants until war begins
>10 seconds into the fight it’s chaos and nobody knows what’s going on
>start hitting people in the face with my ice ball (still in bag)
>16 hits later I get really paranoid
>take ball out and throw it
>ice ball spits in half, cutting the kids cheek in the process
>mfw he can’t feel anything because of the cold, he passes out because of blood loss
>cut was 7 inches from his chin to his ear
>3 other kids lost teeth
>one got a concussion
>parents take me to burger king after school


Anonymous (ID: xrbfd65P) 10/01/12(Mon)20:09:35 No.428263809

>3rd grade
>mackin bitches, attempt to sit by hottest girl in class for lunch
>fat abnoxious ho calls me out on this bold move
>walk away and under my breath call her a bitch
>clearly not under my breath
>lecture on female dogs


Anonymous (ID: J79bU5cx) 10/01/12(Mon)20:09:39 No.428263820

>be in 8th grade
>fat ’emo’ bitch
>bitch has not real problems, is white, rich, and both of her parents love her
>she starts dancing in class
>i look her right in the eyes and say “Eww it’s jiggling”
>she cries
>not at school next day
>or the next day
>day after that teacher tells us she’s in the mental hospital
>cut her wrists and cut too deep
>I sent a girl to the mental hospital


Anonymous (ID: Xp8xFki+) 10/01/12(Mon)20:10:25 No.428263914

>8th Grade
>Candy gram time niggers
>Be having a never ending fight with some girl
>Send that bitch a candy gram
>Write “I figured since you’re so fat you would like this”
>She runs out of the room crying when candy grams are handed out the next week
>Faggot kids who work the candy gram table rat me out when she receives it.
>Anti Bullying class at lunch for a month.


Anonymous (ID: oN9vYhNf) 10/01/12(Mon)20:10:31 No.428263928

not something i did,but i was with him

in 5th grade my friend put four tacks on our teachers seat…bitch had to go to the hospital,i normally would have felt bad,but she was cunt


Anonymous (ID: 2VsTipT0) 10/01/12(Mon)20:10:38No.428263947


newfag alert.


Anonymous (ID: 1h2DY2I0) 10/01/12(Mon)20:10:49 No.428263984


The definition of a bad person is, a person who does bad things.
That’s you.


Anonymous (ID: hbh0LQ9G) 10/01/12(Mon)20:11:06 No.428264028

Replies: >>428264236

Well, I have 2, one by me and one by my friend.
First off, I made a ‘your mom’ joke to a girl, whom, unbeknownst to me, mother had just died.
Then my other friends acidentally hospitilised a guy.


Anonymous (ID: qyRqwNuI) 10/01/12(Mon)20:11:15 No.428264051

>8th grade
>in weird portables with bathrooms with double entry doors
>one of the doors lock from the outside
>cunt teacher goes to piss in the middle of a test
>I lock door from the outside
>everyone cheats while she’s banging on the door for help
>she’s a cunt so we all laugh
>when we’re done I get a kid to let her out

Probably the most alpha thing I’ve ever done


Anonymous (ID: N/ZWRj6/) 10/01/12(Mon)20:11:26 No.428264081

File: 1349136686047.jpg-(164 KB, 510×385, 1338509389962.jpg)

>little do they know know how comfortable you actually are
Fucking lol’d.


Anonymous (ID: L/dmMR2u) 10/01/12(Mon)20:11:44No.428264117

>Forever alone and I paired together on a school trip
>Actually okay dude
>Comes to concrete stairs all alone
>Push him down them
>Kid nearly dies
>Threaten kid not to tell
>Says he tripped
>Think about it every day


Anonymous (ID: Hh9e0swt) 10/01/12(Mon)20:11:58 No.428264153


>>428248779 (OP)
>7th grade
>first iphone just came out
>download the dog whistle app
>leave it on during class
>teacher can’t hear it
>everyone freaking out
>teacher confused
>my sides

>4th grade
>asian girl
>me and friend make fun of her boobs during class
>they’re pointy and shit
>she’s like 10
>tells teacher
>don’t even get into trouble

>6th grade
>friends with douchebag
>another guy follows us around wanting to be our friend
>every 30 minutes we shout “DITCHED!” and run away

>4th grade
>push some dickhead on swing
>he flies off and cracks his head open
>has to go to hospital, get stitches
>nobody ever finds out
>nobody likes him anyway, had one testicle

>3rd grade
>girl wants to use my crayons
>tell her no nastily
>she starts crying
>I ignore her for 5 minutes
>then I tell her she can have them if she does me a favor
>she puts my dick in her mouth during lunch


Anonymous (ID: tVhfAEZr) 10/01/12(Mon)20:11:59 No.428264157

Replies: >>428265671>>428268014

i was a bio nerd in high school (got a 100 in AP bio freshman year)

>Be sick
>Finish lab early
>Do my own experiment
>Extract bacteria/flu cells from saliva
>Hide them in classroom
>Be 1 week later
>Bacteria multiplied exponentially
>Carefully freeze them
>Sneak frozen bacteria into people’s lunches
>Quickly thaws
>Millions of bacteria in everyone’s lunches
>Next day over 80% of school absent


Anonymous (ID: imT60YWR) 10/01/12(Mon)20:12:16 No.428264197

What backwater town did you grow up in? I clearly remember drinking a Red Bull as the twin towers went down. Mega energetic lulz were had.


Anonymous (ID: hbh0LQ9G) 10/01/12(Mon)20:12:33No.428264236



Anonymous (ID: eqnC7We9) 10/01/12(Mon)20:13:07 No.428264310

Replies: >>428264520

you’re a fucking bitch I hate people like you, still I probably don’t give a fuck since I don’t live near your autistic country.


Anonymous (ID: JXedBUwx) 10/01/12(Mon)20:13:21No.428264341

>>428248779 (OP)
>be in primary school
>retard kid there
>heard his father hung himself
>pisses me off one day
>’your dad probably killed himself cause you’re retarded’
>totally forgot til someone told me a few years back
>we laughed


Anonymous (ID: BHLKJS3w) 10/01/12(Mon)20:13:21 No.428264342

Replies: >>428267240

File: 1349136801298.gif-(995 KB, 310×248, 1346874313849.gif)

>peed in sinks after blocking them
>one teacher gave shitty little toys to kids who had enough tickets (you got tickets for being good) so after school i’d steal shitty toys and sell them during class to kids who never got tickets, felt like robin hood
>stole pokemon cards/magic cards/yu-gi-oh cards, stole gameboy games, stole everything
>stole from scholastic fairs every year
> my friend pooped in excellent places (some girl’s thermos, in a bag i got him to put in the bathroom ceiling, on the toilet tank)
>would be a smartass to substitutes, got one to flip over my desk in rage
>pencil bow and arrows
>gave shitty kids whitewashes in the winter
>in high school i put locks on kid’s lockers
>used other kid’s lunch cards to buy lunch (in the days before picture ID’s
>verbal bully to shitty kids, would make them cry

fuck, i loved school


Anonymous (ID: BLpWtVdd) 10/01/12(Mon)20:13:41No.428264384

maybe he means SP


Anonymous (ID: uOaFtWi7) 10/01/12(Mon)20:14:06 No.428264438

lol, I drew scales with glitter ink on my hand, convinced a special ED kid I was turning into a mermaid, he had a Retard attack, punched the teacher, bit a kid ran outside and threw a block of ice at the principles head.


Anonymous (ID: imT60YWR) 10/01/12(Mon)20:14:44No.428264520

I live in Australia… no nobody lives near me 😦


Anonymous (ID: hIBk3WlN) 10/01/12(Mon)20:14:55 No.428264543

File: 1349136895295.jpg-(109 KB, 783×377, hym.jpg)

>be 8th grade
>gym class
>be dodgeballin’, having fun for a half hour
>teacher warns us we have 2 mins left
>pick up one of those hard rubber balls and hold onto it, wait for a good opportunity to use it
>2 minutes are up, teacher blows whistle
>see girl walking towards door
>most annoying girl in class, know-it-all type
>release with the fury of a thousand suns just as the teacher yells “STOP”
>hits her head hard, you could hear the rubber smack her face
>she instinctively falls, starts wailing
>mfw it was a good day in gym class


Anonymous (ID: XV1JaA9o) 10/01/12(Mon)20:15:46No.428264660

>be in 2nd grade
>constantly made fun of a cross-eyed kid
>he moved away at the end of the year

I feel like shit.

>inb4 moralfag


Anonymous (ID: umSLNUMP) 10/01/12(Mon)20:15:58 No.428264682

>be in highschool
>hang out with stoners
>we take some faggot’s backpack from the classroom
>steal everything from it, a gameboy and lots of games, a scientific calculator, about 10 n64 games and some really expensive books.
>take some scissors and tear his backpack into pieces
>sell the books to buy weed
>keep his videogames
>the guy seemed really sad
lulz were had


Anonymous (ID: nE0HdEXY) 10/01/12(Mon)20:16:51 No.428264797

Replies: >>428265163 >>428265485

You don’t deserve to feel any form of happiness. You’re worthless, degenerate trash. Unless you decide dedicate your life to helping autistic kids, you will forever be a loser.

>And don’t give me any fucking “THIS IS 4CHAN” bullshit excuses either fucktard


Anonymous (ID: VJ0e/nWa) 10/01/12(Mon)20:17:13 No.428264839

>was playing tetherball at recess
>can’t remember what was said, but one of my friends pissed me off and I started to run after him
>fucker runs right into the tetherball pole at full speed, almost gets knocked out and starts crying for the entire school to see
>mfw when I never got in trouble or gave a single solitary fuck
>mfw I have no face


Anonymous (ID: U9bYj03c) 10/01/12(Mon)20:17:19 No.428264851

File: 1349137039966.jpg-(3 KB, 125×82, 1342222562593s.jpg)

told an annoying bitch if she said one more word id break each of her fingers on one of her hands from left to right. got off with a “red day”


Anonymous (ID: lxuPYdCo) 10/01/12(Mon)20:18:24 No.428264983


>in high school
>wanted to be with the popular girls
>steal giant wheel of stinky cheese from teacher
>hide it in vents
>be best friends with popular girls
>mfw I had to climb into vents to eat stinky cheese so I won’t get in trouble
>mfw I have no mfw


Anonymous (ID: 0co1t4sz) 10/01/12(Mon)20:19:39 No.428265151


>forgot what grade. 6th?
>kid got the halo 2 collectors addition
>open up his backpack
>take it
>he didn’t notice until school was over and it was too late
>the teacher claimed the cops were involved
>they weren’t
>she ended up punishing the entire class for my action
>I’m okay with this


Anonymous (ID: MXJ1KadG) 10/01/12(Mon)20:19:44No.428265163

lol shut up faggot


Anonymous (ID: XqS/bvC4) 10/01/12(Mon)20:20:04 No.428265215

File: 1349137204594.jpg-(3 KB, 127×126, 1332884465270.jpg)

My only regret in life is that I’ll never be ale to do that. Thank you anon


Anonymous (ID: Xp8xFki+) 10/01/12(Mon)20:21:18No.428265412

>Halo 2 collectors addition
>collectors addition


Anonymous (ID: fiDbhb61) 10/01/12(Mon)20:21:24 No.428265429

File: 1349137284141.jpg-(4 KB, 250×104, imagesCAY4T1AE.jpg)

me and a mexican kid told a retard to eat some cat shit in 2nd grade. he did it. grossest thing ive ever seen to this day. i can still hear the sound of his lips smacking, see the shit stuck to his teeth.


Anonymous (ID: w4rkVKbM) 10/01/12(Mon)20:21:28 No.428265446

>The high school kids would hunt us down from time to time and trap us in these huts they built in the woods

lol’d heartily.
You had a fucked up childhood, son.
Sounds like an adventure, though.


Anonymous (ID: tVhfAEZr) 10/01/12(Mon)20:21:46 No.428265485

fucking this
I love making fun of people, but not when they’re almost defenseless.


Anonymous (ID: lUkvPtqa) 10/01/12(Mon)20:21:50 No.428265498

Replies: >>428268684

File: 1349137310498.jpg-(95 KB, 455×608, horsedick.jpg)

>7th grade

Pretty much confirmed for being both and underage faggot and a stupid rich kid faggot.


Anonymous (ID: dPIKm0nX) 10/01/12(Mon)20:22:17 No.428265554


File: 1349137337763.jpg-(13 KB, 190×252, 1348114858483.jpg)

>be in 3rd grade
>kids lining up to go to art class
>tell teacher need to go to bathroom
>she allows me
>In reality I wanted to play with our class pet that was a rat
>try to grab it bites me
>all of my rage I threw the fucker against the ground
>oh shit its dead
>take body and put in the desk pocket of a random seat
>go to art
>Girl freaks the fuck out dead rat in her desk
>like 7 kids started crying
>teacher gives us recess
>go with friends and say how we think the rat died
>blame it on the girl
>everyone called her sparkykiller (sparky was rats name)
>tell nobody ever



Anonymous (ID: QeX9NX//) 10/01/12(Mon)20:23:16No.428265671

Bio-terrorist in the house.


Anonymous (ID: tw7x3QLg) 10/01/12(Mon)20:23:33 No.428265713

pretty long one but fuck im still proud

>be in 1st grade
>each classroom had its own bathroom
>a couple black kids thought they were the shit because they would pee on the ground instead of in the toilet
>one day teacher pulls boys aside and show them the mess and says to cut it out
>one black kid jakeba takes book and fucking throws it across the room without reason
>drink tons of water and save up piss
>fucking game time
>go to bathroom and pee EVERYWHERE
>tell teacher it was the jakeba
>she belives me because hes a total nigger
>next day hes called out by the assintant teacher and princliple.
>stare directly in his eyes as he walks out


Anonymous (ID: YsQM4pns) 10/01/12(Mon)20:23:37No.428265720

lol genius


Anonymous (ID: hIBk3WlN) 10/01/12(Mon)20:23:47No.428265745

that sounds amazing.


Anonymous (ID: N/ZWRj6/) 10/01/12(Mon)20:24:16 No.428265784

File: 1349137456275.jpg-(19 KB, 400×287, 1347919435246.jpg)

>class has one PC
>get to play on PC if we finish work early
>only one game allowed
>’Granny’s garden’
>everyone would fucking speed through their work to play it
>up to 5 kids sitting around the computer playing this game
>there are different saves for each kid
>one day I finish early
>’anon, you can play on the PC!’
>start playing
>desk has this stupid wooden shelf thing that hangs out for the mouse
>lean on the shelf thing by accident
>snaps off
>everyone looking
>bollocking off teacher

>next day, still remember bollocking
>finish early again
>you can play on the PC, anon!
>went straight on and deleted everyone’s save file
>’…Miss! All the save files are gone!’
>everyone crowds round
>teacher asks who did it
>nobody admits
>mfw I ruined the fun for everyone else


Anonymous (ID: Smhv3y2q) 10/01/12(Mon)20:24:53No.428265861

File: 1349137493367.jpg-(40 KB, 461×553, 1348178680669.jpg)

>like 6th grade
>had this above-sized guy with adhd
>put water on his chair before class starts
>leave classroom, hide behind lockers
>door open, hear him freak out
>everyone starts saying he pissed himself
>he gets out the door
>I jump infront of him screaming
>He freakes out even more
>Teacher started laughing

Feel bad for him now though, moralfag.


Anonymous (ID: nE0HdEXY) 10/01/12(Mon)20:25:13 No.428265908

File: 1349137513761.jpg-(116 KB, 750×600, 5440.jpg)

ITT: People who try to one up each other on how they increase the global suicide rate(for the most part). Keep pretending like you don’t give a fuck, anons. You’ll never know what true happiness feels like underneath that wet blanket of guilt you are oh so familiar with.


Anonymous (ID: HCuseu3e) 10/01/12(Mon)20:25:37 No.428265962

>Be year 3
>Teacher allows me to sit outside and tell other teachers when bus is here so students can leave
>I have to piss really bad
>Start pissing on the side of the school
>Bus driver sees me before I see her
>mfw she sneaks up behind me
>Grabs my shoulder
>What are you doing
>Turn around
>Still pissing
>Piss on her
>Ran inside
>Principle and other teachers can’t stop laughing at the mayhem

Best day of my life. That bus driver refused to make eye contact with me for the rest of my schooling years.


Anonymous (ID: 0co1t4sz) 10/01/12(Mon)20:25:44 No.428265985

>7th grade
>last day of class before break
>went to a year round school so we get a month off like every three months or some shit i forgot
>kid sets off stink bomb
>everyone including me knows who did it
>we all refuse to snitch
>teacher makes us sit in the room with the stink after the bell went off
>we sit there for 15 minutes
>the later valid Victorian girl snitches
>the guy who did it was a gang banger
>he gets mad
>after school I hear his friend talking about how pissed he was that she snitched
>being a dumbass I told them if they feel like yelling at her she usually walks home a certain way
>they ended up beating the shit out of her on her way home
>two guys were jailed
>I was never in implicated
>feels good, man


Anonymous (ID: nNawSSvf) 10/01/12(Mon)20:26:12 No.428266043

>me and this indian kid folded up ketchup packets and put them under the bumpers under a toilet seat
>wait outside bathroom
>kid runs out of bathroom crying with his pants off and ketchup on his butt cheeks
>lol about it for days

>kid leaves folded paper on his desk
>goes to bathroom
>walk by, pick it up and open it
>holy shit 45 bucks
>take that shit and go outside to put in my backpack
>whole class is trying to figure out where it went
>girl comes up to me and tells me that her grandma saw a kid with dark hair doing something to his backpack outside
>get nervous bc holy shit thats me
>she shrugs it off
>nobody ever knew

>get some classmates to write fuck you to the teacher on a paper
>7 or 8 total signatures with fuck you’s
>sign fuck you and my name and give it to teacher
>class field trip to principal

probably a lot of other shit too that i cant think of.
haha oh man, the good days.


Anonymous (ID: XqS/bvC4) 10/01/12(Mon)20:26:34 No.428266090

Replies: >>428266336>>428267390

why the shit did she randomly bring 500 to class?


Anonymous (ID: qJZPXyKk) 10/01/12(Mon)20:26:42 No.428266108

>be in 6th grade
>theres a kid whose parents both died within like a month of eachother
>he’s kind of a prick
>i sat next to him in one of my classes and one day he kept being annoying and knocking my books off the table and shit
>tell him I banged his mom
>completely forgot his parents were dead
>his fucking face after i said that
>never look him in the eye again


Anonymous (ID: s3lokOl5) 10/01/12(Mon)20:27:04 No.428266154

>in 6th grade
>History teacher hates me because my “friends” always used me as a scapegoat and got away with it
>Didn’t pay attention in class, instead I engraved “property of anon” on all history books
>teacher pissed, class discussion about “school environment abuse”
>says he’s going to make me pay for the 30 something books
>oh shit
>he forgets.


Anonymous (ID: qYzhi8kN) 10/01/12(Mon)20:27:57No.428266263

>3rd grade
Wait…. What?


Anonymous (ID: l0oACkzw) 10/01/12(Mon)20:28:08No.428266283

>be in 2nd grade
>see a hot piece of ass i like (my age)
>grab her
>force her onto teacher’s desk
>pulls down her skirt
>shoves my huge raging dick into her ass
>everyone is watching
>she is screaming and trying to get away
>teacher is trying to pull us apart
>cum on teacher’s face


Anonymous (ID: 0co1t4sz) 10/01/12(Mon)20:28:31No.428266336

probably for drugs


Anonymous (ID: fiDbhb61) 10/01/12(Mon)20:28:44 No.428266372


oh god, oh god, anon, lol’d soo hard! sparkykiller!! my sides!


Anonymous (ID: Kqx0JUYf) 10/01/12(Mon)20:29:38 No.428266487

File: 1349137778843.png-(354 KB, 463×700, 1.png)

>>428248779 (OP)
me and my friends in 6th grade taped a kid to a tree because he told us to. security saw us and me and my friend told him we were taking his bike. we got suspended and since then every year ive been getting kicked out of school for random shit


Anonymous (ID: 1h2DY2I0) 10/01/12(Mon)20:30:05 No.428266542

> Be like 8
> Foreveralone and nothing to do
> Little brother has multiple friends and goes places
> Tell Mom firmly that I want what he has
> Mom cares nothing for anybody
> To shut me up and make her life easier, she decides to give me what I demanded
> She orders little brother to bring me with him
> I follow him to his friends’ houses many times thereafter
> He is majorly pissed
> There is a permanent rift between us which only expands
> We’re still not on speaking terms
> I don’t even know how many children he has

ANYWAY, about the thing I did back then, which wasn’t in school but involved kids from school:

> In his friend’s garden, climbing on a swing frame
> His friends have been increasingly pissed at me because I have to be brought along
> They gather around me, one of them sits on the opposite end of the swing’s A-frame
> They tell me I’m not welcome
> Ihavenointentionofleaving.jpg
> The guy on the swing loses his temper and shouts at me to stay away
> I get mad
> Use my weight to push the swing frame
> Was thinking that guy might fall off
> The crossbar hits him right in the forehead
> He screams and runs away crying and bleeding
> Everyone is shocked
> They tell me I’d better get out of there
> I leave and never return

I don’t feel bad about it because I was completely relying on Mom to tell me right and wrong. It’s not my fault that Dad married a sociopathic bitch.


Anonymous (ID: AgbOtB/I) 10/01/12(Mon)20:30:12 No.428266565

made fun of this faggot until he came out of the closet. never made fun of him again after that


Anonymous (ID: 5v/yR9Pv) 10/01/12(Mon)20:30:31 No.428266602


>be in elementary school
>can’t remember specific grade
>go to friends house
>have to pee
>Go to bathroom
>wipe vagina on towels and walls


Anonymous (ID: 381zGXY9) 10/01/12(Mon)20:30:34No.428266606

lol’d hard


Anonymous (ID: ZzcIkYxf) 10/01/12(Mon)20:31:12No.428266684

>Virgina Tech just happened
>I see random asian kid
>Start yelling “please don’t shoot me!”
>I’m sure i did worse but don’t remember


Anonymous (ID: Xp8xFki+) 10/01/12(Mon)20:31:37 No.428266749

I got another one.
>8th grade again
>Have super spazzy art teacher
>Takes art too fucking serious.
>Everyone is a total dick to her because of it.
>Decide not to do art one day
>She asks me “Why aren’t you doing your work huh?” in the bitchiest fucking voice ever
>”I don’t really feel like art today”
>”Yeah? Well come see me after class”
>See her after class
>She goes on a rant about how I have to do things even when I don’t want to
>”What if this was your job? You would be fired in a heartbeat”
>Smart-ass mode on
>”Fired what? Out of a cannon?”
>Pulls her hair and leaves
>Doesn’t come back
>No one can get a hold of her to see what happened
>Old lady substitute for the rest of the year


Anonymous (ID: +KZ+ma0L) 10/01/12(Mon)20:31:56No.428266791

File: 1349137916513.jpg-(35 KB, 321×320, 1342633772008.jpg)



Anonymous (ID: uOaFtWi7) 10/01/12(Mon)20:32:10 No.428266814

Replies: >>428267083>>428267757

In 6th grade I would pull my dick out behind girls. >Sitting in back of class
>get boner from girls panties
>Pull out dick
>Leave dick/boner out for entire test


Anonymous (ID: Pe59imPP) 10/01/12(Mon)20:32:22 No.428266841


>junior year again
>friends and i go into rich neighborhoods
>car hop and then..
>make drayno bombs and throw them in the cars.
>ruined TONS of car interiors..


Anonymous (ID: AgbOtB/I) 10/01/12(Mon)20:33:09No.428266934

holy fuck why didnt i think of that


Anonymous (ID: 1h2DY2I0) 10/01/12(Mon)20:33:40 No.428267001



And again I cannot see why this would be funny.


Anonymous (ID: 9wYl8n3a) 10/01/12(Mon)20:33:51No.428267026

>spit on girl

>tape kids book to table
>rip out pages when trying to get it off
>blame other kid in front of teacher

>knock loudly on toilet doors

>toss kids pokemon cards all over class room

>be in fight with kid
>wrestle around on ground
>get up
>he’s on his knees
>kick his face


Anonymous (ID: fvz2Mum4) 10/01/12(Mon)20:34:15No.428267072

I lol’d… hard


Anonymous (ID: uOaFtWi7) 10/01/12(Mon)20:34:19 No.428267083

I forgot to mention I would poke their butts with boner when I stood behind them. Girls liked me so they thought I was just being a little perv. Never bothered to turn around. If only If only……


Anonymous (ID: BzkDs4F3) 10/01/12(Mon)20:35:03No.428267179

File: 1349138103436.png-(61 KB, 988×1044,1349045557793.png)

>1st grade
>new kid joins class
>I don’t like him
>Bite own arm
>After I make teeth marks, tell teacher new student did it
>mfw when he got in huge trouble


Anonymous (ID: Pe59imPP) 10/01/12(Mon)20:35:19 No.428267212

look.. we are sharing stories from our past. Why we thought it was funny then, i have no fucking clue.


Anonymous (ID: BHLKJS3w) 10/01/12(Mon)20:35:29 No.428267240

Replies: >>428267587 >>428270595

File: 1349138129717.gif-(2 MB, 352×317, 1347259975855.gif)

>also, turned light off in bathrooms while kids were taking shits

our school had retarded rules though

>no running on the pavement during recess
>no snowballs, no picking up snow
>zero tolerance on bullying
my school would give out green plans if you did little things (talked back to the teacher, was late too much, etc.) and if you got three green plans they gave you a white plan, which you could get if you were caught bullying or some shit
white plan=in school suspension
they would send the plans to your house, but i got home before my parents, so i would intercept plans and stick them in the knot of a tree in my backyard (lived in the woods)
years later i find tree and pull out plans, they’ve sort of decomposed but you can still read them
most of them were bullshit like “talking in class”
got suspended for throwing a snowball to my friend who was going to catch it
got suspended for giving high-fives


Anonymous (ID: AfhuS9WZ) 10/01/12(Mon)20:36:09 No.428267315

Replies: >>428268416

Friend of mine and I were shit disturbers, especially in primary school (Ontario, Canadafag). We used to terrorise this Irish lady that ran the YMCA programme at our school.

>In gymnasium, we’re told we can build a fort out of those mats that were velcroed to the wall. friend and I make secret room, stash bean bags and a basket ball in there.
>I peak out and see Irish lady doing paperwork on one of those plastic fold-out table. We make hole in roof and I point in the direction of the lady, and say roughly how far it is. Friend throws ball, perfect angle, and it slams on the table, collapsing the one side.
>Papers everywhere, Irish lady is shocked, starts screaming our names but her accent is so thick that our names sound fucked (which is odd, considering both our names are Irish).
>Hide in secret room, wait it out, lol hard.

That’s just one story. I’ll post some more.


Anonymous (ID: mkRr6wMw) 10/01/12(Mon)20:36:26 No.428267354


File: 1349138186350.png-(65 KB, 199×210, 1i.png)

>Be in first grade
>Be playing on the playground during recess
>This faggot kid in my class is in just sitting at the top of the slide
>Want to go down slide, but fatass faggot wont let me
>Close my eyes and bite him in the ass with the force of a 1000 Totodiles
>Faggot kid screams in pain and falls down slide
>Get to slide like a boss
>Go to principles office
>Mom picks me up and I get to go home and play Pokemon Gold


Anonymous (ID: 8gypdwvM) 10/01/12(Mon)20:36:39No.428267390

definitely drugs


Anonymous (ID: XqS/bvC4) 10/01/12(Mon)20:36:51 No.428267419

File: 1349138211963.jpg-(21 KB, 337×276, 1332884791457.jpg)

>be in 3rd grade
>have an enemy named alfred
>he was an asshole that smelled but I cant remember why we hated eachother.
>Took same bike route home
>Faggot tried to fuck me up with the pegs on his bike. This became a recurring event
>Rage of a thousand suns when he broke my chain.
>Few days later brought a copper pipe in back pack
>as fag boy rides by on his shitty bike I fucking jam the pipe in his tire.
>nigger flies and falls face first
>sea of blood starts pouring from his stupid nose
>mfw walking home cause bike is still fucked


Anonymous (ID: AgbOtB/I) 10/01/12(Mon)20:38:09 No.428267587

yeah they would freak whenever we touched snow at my school. i mean godamn were going to be having a huge ass snowball fight after school anyway


Anonymous (ID: /SndRZJG) 10/01/12(Mon)20:38:31 No.428267645

>be in 8th grade
>friends and I always fucked with this one gay history teacher
>after lunch one day big crowd walking out of lunchroom
>friend decides to grab garbage can
>all 6 of us surround it while walking
>drag smelly ass garbage can across the school to the elevator
> bring it upstairs with a big crowd waiting to conceal said garbage can
>drag it by gay teachers room
> one friend kicks it in spilling shit everywhere
>book it and never got caught


Anonymous (ID: Xgr4K5Sa) 10/01/12(Mon)20:38:31 No.428267647

I stole a really cool pin some kid won. He deserved it. He was bragging about it.


Anonymous (ID: Y5QyZJrb) 10/01/12(Mon)20:38:40 No.428267668

File: 1349138320269.png-(112 KB, 250×339, 250px-Hurleylost.png)

>Be in 5th grade
>have a stinky Mexican janitor named Juan
>Me and 5 friends would take turns going to the bathroom
>Shit on floor
>Shit on urinals
>Shit on sink
>Throw up on wall
>Smear breakfast burritos on floor
>Mr. Juan gets pissed
>Mr. Juan swears under his breath all the time
>Mr. Juan cleans up mess
>Do it again the next day
>Keeps going on for the whole school year


Anonymous (ID: XqS/bvC4) 10/01/12(Mon)20:38:52 No.428267704

So you’ve been eating little boy ass since the frist grade huh? faggot


Anonymous (ID: YjILIYja) 10/01/12(Mon)20:39:14 No.428267757


Dude i jacked off under my desk with a chick next next to me watching when i was in 3rd grade and she liked it. Not that I didn’t give a fuck or anything tho, fuckin newfag.


Anonymous (ID: lI3QQ03U) 10/01/12(Mon)20:41:06No.428268014

my sides!


Anonymous (ID: ISdW7oup) 10/01/12(Mon)20:41:07 No.428268016

>be kindergarten
>play time/ break or whatever the fuck
>some kid I didn’t like at the time was in my class
>find the bin of sea animals
>find a massive fucking hump back whale toy
>go over to the fucker and clob him over the head
>he cried like a bitch, but I got sent home.

Other than that
>be fifth grade, still be in my schools day care
>last day of summer, before I had to move up to sixth grade
>my friend and I who pretty much were top of the food chain there fucked around alot
>go to daycares computers (about 5 of them)
>put everything into the trash and delete every application and games. Change login passwords (they were all the same on each computer) on each computers to something random.


Anonymous (ID: lnJSDlde) 10/01/12(Mon)20:41:25 No.428268048

>be in third grade
>drinking from a tropicana orange juice carton while simultaneously playing putt-putt
Fucking loved that game.
>anyway, bitch girl who thought her shit didnt smell comes over and tells me to get off.
>bitch you best back the fuck off.
>she begins pushing me and trying to get me off the computer for absolutley zero reasons.
>no reason at all.
>finally slaps me on top of the head.
>I grab the orange juice carton, and slam it into the side of her face as hard as I could.
>So fucking hard.
>She instantly drops to the ground and is silent.
>30 seconds later she emits this piercing blood curdling scream.
>I calmly shut off computer and sit on the floor next to the radiator.
>Eventually fall asleep.
>Wake up sometime later and leave.
>next day, bitch comes in with stitches and old school bandage wrapped around her head.
>mfw I never got in trouble even though literally everybody saw.
>mfw bitch never spoke in class for years.


Anonymous (ID: u5FOxrS3) 10/01/12(Mon)20:41:27 No.428268054

>be faggot suicidal anon
>put in mental hospital
>find coloring books
>trash the shit outta them, color all the pages and right ‘fuck’ over spiderman’s balls
>ruin the experience for all the little fucked up kids that go there


Anonymous (ID: MXJ1KadG) 10/01/12(Mon)20:42:28 No.428268198

Replies: >>428268665

>be in 6th grade
>drink lots of water, piss frequently
>start pissing into XL plastic water bottles we got at lunch
>by the end of the month I had filled up 12
>take all 12 to school
>dump piss bottles in various places in the school (carpet)
>everyone complains about piss smell
>they think the piss is only in 1-2 places
>mfw piss smell for the rest of the year, school gets shut down for a week for health inspection


Anonymous (ID: aK007uy+) 10/01/12(Mon)20:42:34 No.428268216

in 4th grade I flushed apples down the toilets to flood them


Anonymous (ID: rgdfutGn) 10/01/12(Mon)20:43:04 No.428268275

File: 1349138584986.jpg-(13 KB, 300×224, +_b16e210485bb75855a1bfad(…).jpg)

>Be me in 2nd grade
>At recess, we would play this game with the 5th graders.
>One older kid really pisses me the fuck off for some reason.
>It was about this time, I had learned an effective yet simple method for getting whatever the fuck it is that I wanted.
>He’s alone and walking back to class on the playground.
>I go up to him, and grab his hands.
>I twist the absolute FUCK out of his fingers.
>He’s writhing in anguish, tears and shit.
>Pretty much collapsed at this point, to avoid breaking his fingers
>Keep twisting
>Tell him not to tell anyone.
>Walk back to class.
>Start to cry for some reason. I don’t know. I was always a pretty quiet kid.
>Teacher comes and pulls me out into the halls
>”Anon, did you twist this faggots fingers?”
>Next day at recess
>He’s got a few broken fingers
>Lol heartily.


Anonymous (ID: AfhuS9WZ) 10/01/12(Mon)20:44:15 No.428268416

YMCA was an after school programme for kids that couldn’t go home, well, after school. Friend and I, like most of the kids there, had to wait a few hours before our someone came to get us. It was held in the gym at our school, roughly 20-30 kids enrolled.

Another story:

>Friend and I get into the gym supply room before the group heads outside. We grab a tennis ball and an aluminum bat. Irish lady is okaywiththis.jpg
>Spend five or so minutes hitting ball against wall with bat. Get bored. Begin hitting rocks with bat at nearby houses. Inattentive Irish lady does not see us.
>Next day comes screaming at us over bat, which is dented all to hell, threatening to make us pay for it. Stare blankly, ignore her and continue talking to each other. She looked like she was going to bust a nut.


Anonymous (ID: XqS/bvC4) 10/01/12(Mon)20:46:06No.428268665

File: 1349138766522.jpg-(21 KB, 300×300, 1330704092998.jpg)



Anonymous (ID: Hh9e0swt) 10/01/12(Mon)20:46:13 No.428268684

File: 1349138773911.jpg-(106 KB, 437×333, according to this thing.jpg)

Phone was out in 2007.
I’m 18.
Confirmed for being a dumbfuck who can’t do math.

Also, iPhone was given to me by uncle. Parents poor as fuck. Suck a dick, jellyfag. I’m not even mad.


Anonymous (ID: imDY6qpW) 10/01/12(Mon)20:46:43 No.428268740

>be like 5th grade
>fat ugly slob dude
>had aspergers or something
>ass crack always showed
>spend all day throwing rolled up pieces of paper in his ass
>teacher became suspicious
>saw what we were doing and lol’d
>went back to his desk

best. guy. ever.


Anonymous (ID: N4CJg5cJ) 10/01/12(Mon)20:47:58 No.428268915

File: 1349138878131.png-(380 KB, 594×412, 14314153153.png)

Not elementry, but middle school.
>Know girl who is in track
>Girl trusts me a lot
>Doesn’t know I have a foot fetish
>Always asks me to give her foot massages after her track meets after one day when I offered
>One day while walking home with her after track meet
>She asks me to hold her bag so she can tie her shoe
>She hands me bag and leans down to tie her shoe
>I see the expensive and overused (she like never washed these things) Injini Sports Toe Socks in the side pocket of her bag
>Quickly take them out and stuff them in my pocket
>Continue walking home with her
>Get home and furiously masturbate to her used toesocks
>mfw the next day she asked me if I had her toesocks
Not as dickish as it is creepy, but hey.


Anonymous (ID: aWuSjmXI) 10/01/12(Mon)20:48:05 No.428268926

>be 4th grade
>have friend who freaks out easily
>always run away from him at recess to get him angry
>once we stop his face is red with anger
>one day find piece of wood with nail in it in grass
>run from him
>he catches up
>sees wood
>starts running away
>throw it at him jokingly
>hits him right in the leg
>oh god massive gash


>be don’t know when
>Runescape is the shit
>friend knows info of kid we hate
>gets into his account
>we clear out his bank
>absolutely empty
>next day at school he’s crying and freaking out
>he threatens to kill himself

Same kid as second one

>be 3rd grade
>playing dodgeball in gym
>we’re all throwing the balls at this kid
>no one else
>he gets really angry and runs across the line
>hits someone with ball
>”NOPE! Out of bounds”
>argument ensues
>dare friend to kick him in the dick next time he crosses the line
>2 minutes later he comes sprinting onto our side
>friend kicks him in dick with the force of a thousands suns
>he goes to the hospital


Anonymous (ID: bRWt7Eoc) 10/01/12(Mon)20:48:38 No.428268990

Replies: >>428269373>>428270868

>be in 8th grade
>cooking assignment for class
>me and two bros buy a pizza kit
>”light bulb”
>lets put pubes on it
>we procede to add pubes and a bit of dandruff
>i turn to friend whos house it is
>”you should cum on it”
>he goes into his room to cum
>we watch him smear it on pizza
>bake that shit
>his stoner brother congradulates us on its nastyness
>present next day
>everyone said it was amazing, even the teacher
>havent talked about it since


Anonymous (ID: 0co1t4sz) 10/01/12(Mon)20:48:39 No.428268992

>be in 8th grade
>pretty much all mexican school
>I am white
>get sent to the back of the room for talking or some shit
>guy named jose is next to me
>janitor walks in
>jose says “he just had to be mexican, right anon?”
>girl who hates me is walking by
>she hears this
>accuses me of saying all mexican must be poor and work jobs cleaning up after white people
>went through that entire year being called a racist and getting treated like shit
>I ended up throwing a brick through the girl’s winow


Anonymous (ID: D9KqXYz0) 10/01/12(Mon)20:49:38 No.428269136

>douche bag tripped me with his back pack >smash my knee on a concrete stair.
>kick to his face
>nose shattered under my air walks
>big ass black janitor picks me up
>go the the office!
>not a lick of trouble because of past incidences with same kid
>epic justice

so in all, it doesn’t really relate to the thread. but i just wanted to share.

Also? fuck Robert Frost Middle School.


Anonymous (ID: SfkTTsDC) 10/01/12(Mon)20:50:05 No.428269193

Replies: >>428269589

>Went to local market
>They sliced and gutted fresh fish in the store
>Me and friends went there every day and got all the fish heads
>Did everything you could imagine with fish heads of all sizes
>Threw fish heads at cars from bridges
>Put fish heads in mailboxes
>Opened unlocked front doors and threw fish heads into their halls before running away
>Smeared fish heads on everything that people would put their hands on. Handles on hundreds of doors

Those were the days.


Anonymous (ID: 4QhuAxhK) 10/01/12(Mon)20:50:22 No.428269240

File: 1349139022769.jpg-(39 KB, 602×462, 9-17-2010_8-31-19_PM.jpg)


>yfw you’re also psychic and a nigger


Anonymous (ID: mY0aWxvH) 10/01/12(Mon)20:50:24 No.428269246

Replies: >>428269349>>428270246

File: 1349139024585.jpg-(51 KB, 800×600, 1345616123805.jpg)

i seriously don’t know where to start.. the thing is: i NEVER got caught.

one story:

> be 14/15
> sleeping at friends
> we had a trick to sneak out of the window without someone noticing
> were meeting up with friends
> played “i am packing my bag”
no idea if you guys know this, but it’s a game about reminding stuff..
i pack my bag and take a t-shirt.. next one is reminding it and adds a word
> we played it a bit different
> i pack my bag and take broken antenna with me
> you don’t have an antenna
> broke car antenna
> i do
> it ended up, that we broke most stuff in our neighbour hood
> no fucks were giving

> we cut christmas lights
> put trash cans on cars
> kicked cans over
> stole stuff and put it in a different garden (like a giant bench)
> still love the memories


Anonymous (ID: k+oqh1pi) 10/01/12(Mon)20:51:07No.428269331

>be 6ish
>am a lot smarter than rest of kindergarten class
>they follow what i say all the time and shit
>bus drops us off early one day, no teacher
>rush all the kids into the classroom
>no lights, tell everyone to hide under desk
>tell them to shut the fuck up
>teacher comes in dark room few mins later
>doesnt see us, is oldfag
>calls out, no answer except inaudible giggles
>leaves, goes to principal for halp
>they start a school-wide search
>continues for 15-20 mins
>finally see her coming back in window
>command minions to surprise her and shit
>she comes in
>nearly has heart attack
>blame it on stupid kid who has nasal drip
>he has no recess for a week
>his parents phoned home
>horrible family, probably beat savagely
>still laugh about it sometimes


Anonymous (ID: fc0qloZ1) 10/01/12(Mon)20:51:15No.428269349

Fucking GORGEOUS ass!!


Anonymous (ID: bRWt7Eoc) 10/01/12(Mon)20:51:24 No.428269373

we laughed afterwards about how much all the girls in the class loved the taste of semen


Anonymous (ID: h28A5Xcj) 10/01/12(Mon)20:52:10 No.428269475

File: 1349139130528.jpg-(16 KB, 250×332, aint no one.jpg)

>be in 5th grade
>playing the fuck out of the sandpit
>school wide tard comes over and starts yelling at us to lay down
>friend stands up and starts yelling back at the tard
>somehow convinces the tard to eat sand
>wrangler comes bursting throught the door
>tard was already on the floor
>but aint no on walking the dinosaur


Anonymous (ID: 2l66qB5d) 10/01/12(Mon)20:52:28No.428269520

>>428248779 (OP)

>be in 4th grade
>classroom had old Power Mac
>Admin account logged in
>Switched the Printer from Printer Port to Modem Port
>Left printer plugged into printer port
>Printer wouldn”t print
>no one knew what the fuck happened
>admin was confused as fuck
>no one knew that it was me
>admin switched out Mac for another one


Anonymous (ID: SfkTTsDC) 10/01/12(Mon)20:52:58 No.428269589

Guess I should add that we broke the windshield of a speeding car when throwing a massive salmon head from a bridge. We usually hit the roof of the cars, and now that I have a license myself, I truely find it admiring that no one drove off the road when a fish head hit their car.


Anonymous (ID: Fv7XlW5J) 10/01/12(Mon)20:53:24 No.428269652

How do you wipe your vagina on a fucking wall? Unless it’s a corner but still?


Anonymous (ID: AgbOtB/I) 10/01/12(Mon)20:53:46 No.428269706

>be first grade
>girl is on monkey bars
>She is waring a skirt
>upside down, her oantaloons are showing
>convince friend to go closer for better view
>apparently got to close
>she crys, tells teacher
>have to go to principles office
>she told teacher we pulled her skirt down
>wtf, naw were just young perverts
>get in trouble anyway
>get in trouble with parents, it rains alot that night
>think god is crying because i was bad
ended up dating her in 7th grade

speaking of that
>be in 8th grade
>annoying yet sexy mixed girl rides my bus
>she had a slight mustache
>one day she is yelling at me
>she never was obnoxious towards me again
>in fact i date her two years later, by then she had gotten rid of the stache and was actually damn sexy
>dem curves
she had the biggest bush ever


Anonymous (ID: agum5cOC) 10/01/12(Mon)20:54:08 No.428269762

Replies: >>428270024 >>428270120

File: 1349139248296.jpg-(17 KB, 460×288, Blobfish.jpg)

>Be in bible belt
>Atheist parents raise atheist kid (me)
>Parents are talk of the town, things like “got-hating heathens” are said, except far worse.
>Be in 6th grade
>Teacher and kid walk over, mocking me subtly
>Ask teacher if she’d kill her kid if God told her to, like Abraham to his son.
>Teacher silent for a minute, then claims God would send an angel to stop her, that god would never, EVER allow such a thing to happen.
>Add the fact that Jephthah did something similar and no angel or voice was sent to stop her.
>Silent, fairly large crowd
>Watching the mental gymanstics
>Mfw the teacher killed her kid two years later.

People are too impressionable.


Anonymous (ID: LduL8E0z) 10/01/12(Mon)20:55:18No.428269920

File: 1349139318733.png-(9 KB, 239×338, 1345609385842.png)

>hanging out in playground as usual
>find out it hurts to get hit in the groin
>kick all my friends in the groin constantly
>never got hit in the groin
>mfw they tried


Anonymous (ID: ZwyWJjdI) 10/01/12(Mon)20:55:28No.428269948

>be in 5th grade
>waiting in line to use microwave
>i’m next and don’t feel like waiting anymore
>turn microwave off and set it to 5 seconds
>goes off, kid takes bite of frozen pizza pop


Anonymous (ID: uOaFtWi7) 10/01/12(Mon)20:55:53 No.428270006

>Be in 6th grade
>Vietnamese kid would walk home with me and some friends
>Starts acting like a thug
>His name is Tim DO
>We make fun of him
>His sister starts picking him up
>We find out her name is Dil. DIL DO. DILDO
>We laugh uncontrollably and make fun of him and her
>she goes to principle at school
>Me and friend get called to office over intercom
>We sit down and get yelled at for harassing Tim.
>She says DILDO.
>We smirk
>She says it again
>look at eachother, start laughing uncontrollably.
>She’s yelling, were laughing
>She’s mid sentence, we both get up and walk out laughing
>She did not punish us


Anonymous (ID: Z3Wy46dy) 10/01/12(Mon)20:55:54No.428270009

>Strangle girl who likes me
>she left school


Anonymous (ID: AgbOtB/I) 10/01/12(Mon)20:56:03 No.428270024


news article or it didnt happen


Anonymous (ID: w3iPQMVK) 10/01/12(Mon)20:56:35No.428270120

Im a christian and I find this hilarious


Anonymous (ID: yULlIHNf) 10/01/12(Mon)20:57:06No.428270190

Tits or Gtfo


Anonymous (ID: xGflX0K5) 10/01/12(Mon)20:57:30 No.428270246


File: 1349139450542.jpg-(61 KB, 750×590, 1345697954530.jpg)

another one:

> friend brought “fart spray”
the one that you spray and makes everything stink like fuck
> we walk over the corridors
> acting like nothing is happening
> spray fart spray all way long
> go stairs up
> do the same
> go down again and into break
> see all pupils and teachers hold noses
> see 2 girls puke
> mfw a teacher says
> there must be a broken pipe


Anonymous (ID: 8dVcXCET) 10/01/12(Mon)20:57:59No.428270320

>teacher dies
>next day announcement saying no school tommorow
>scram yay no school!


Anonymous (ID: yi8kglsb) 10/01/12(Mon)20:58:44No.428270416

I was that friend.
More than once.


Anonymous (ID: N6RBpstO) 10/01/12(Mon)20:58:57No.428270446

>kicked someone in the nuts


Anonymous (ID: ZJers03g) 10/01/12(Mon)20:59:02 No.428270457

>Be in 7th grade
>Girl has awful acne, almost like a beard
>Call her red beard, along with rest of class
>Teachers find out, threaten to expel anyone who says it again
>Start calling her rojo barba or road bard, the Spanish and Deutsche equivalents
>Next day she doesn’t show up, was apparently throwing up at home all day due to embarassment
>Continue calling her it for remainder of middle school

God I feel awful, but she had so much acne.
Also Ex’s tits.


Anonymous (ID: udjeOUr6) 10/01/12(Mon)20:59:12No.428270481

>be 7
>random kid in front of me not moving
>no warning
>turned him around by shoulders violently
>knee him in the nuts twice, hard.
>kid told me he was pissing blood for the next few days
>kids parents took him out of our school district


Anonymous (ID: agum5cOC) 10/01/12(Mon)20:59:28 No.428270517

Replies: >>428270752 >>428270756 >>428270758


It’s hush hush around here.
She was never formally charged because she said God told her to like Abraham as a test. Sheriff did jack shit because the entire town believed it was God’s will.

Alabamians truly are the most savage and idiotic folk on the face of this planet. They’re far, far worse than niggers.

We moved promptly.

You’d be surprised at the dark secrets small towns hold.


Anonymous (ID: BHLKJS3w) 10/01/12(Mon)20:59:58 No.428270595

also, i screencapped the desktop of my teacher’s computer, set it as the background, and deleted all of the shortcuts/hid the taskbar.
raged all day, reset the computer maybe a thousand times
never called the IT guy because he thinks he can fix it

also, kids at my school used the school email to communicate (i had gmail like a boss, my sister gave me an invite the first year it came out) this fat girl was in love with me or some shit, so she’d email my school email like every day. log onto it one day to find over 9000 emails from her. i lose my shit and email her back calling her a fat piece of shit. she cries, teachers get involved, i get in trouble. gave no fucks, she never talked to me again


Anonymous (ID: 8OXJsA4x) 10/01/12(Mon)21:00:26No.428270657

>be in 5th grade
>be in computer lab
>me and 3 friends install keyloggers on all PCs
>create site with hidden keylogger download
>send link to a bunch of people
>profit hundreds of games, emails and bank accounts
>first troll move: send p0rn to a teacher’s email list
>somehow she discovers
>suspended for 3 days

captcha: usedoep Russia


Anonymous (ID: AgbOtB/I) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:04No.428270752

if that really happened thats some fucked up shit
small towns i tell ya


Anonymous (ID: w3iPQMVK) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:06 No.428270756


You best tell us some of them dark secretes anon


Anonymous (ID: agum5cOC) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:08 No.428270758




Do not live there anymore. Glad I don’t.

I’ll ask my parents the name of the town once they come over later tonight.

I remember it started with “Col”. We were there for like a month.


Anonymous (ID: xGflX0K5) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:14 No.428270776

File: 1349139674920.jpg-(226 KB, 1280×857, 1345656946725.jpg)

> we had this fake websites letting you fill in some survey
> was like 2004 so.. people were noobs with the internet
> a friend does this and sends this around
> know that it is giong to send the information to him
> fill stuff in pretending to be a hated guy
> he was fat like fuck and no one liked him
> his name was miles
> “what is your biggest secret”
> i like to fart in the bathtub when my mom is bringing me food
> friend tells me about it
> mfw everyone knows about it in 1 day and calls him
> bathing-miles.


Anonymous (ID: UtB7SQZa) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:21 No.428270794

File: 1349139681844.jpg-(112 KB, 400×400, 27669437.jpg)

> be 10
> the girl next door has a crush on me
> she’s friends with a bitch I hate
> the girl sends me a love letter
> I can’t deal with it, don’t know what to do with myself
> I use the letter to torment the bitch by threatening to go public with the letter
> the bitch is on edge, but the girl is heartbroken
> the bitch eventually gets a hold of the letter, tears it
> show is over, now I’m almost 24yo, and I’ve been rudely rejected by every girl I’ve had feelings for ever since
That’s easily the worst thing I’ve done, and I honestly feel bad about it even now. That’s despite the fact I didn’t actually know what I was doing (so young), nor was my intention to hurt her. Feelsbadman.


Anonymous (ID: Yln79jaA) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:23 No.428270801


>3rd grade
>I was a horrible kid
>Just messing around being the class clown
>Teacher tells me to go to principles office
>Say no about 1000 times
>Start running around classroom screaming for no reason
>Teacher chases me
>Run out of class and close door
>Teacher tries to open door
>I ram the door straight into her face and end up breaking her nose
>Get expelled


Anonymous (ID: ek1uUyra) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:48 No.428270861

File: 1349139708970.jpg-(11 KB, 250×188, pic (1076).jpg)

97% of people fall instantly asleep after visiting this website

A weird phemomenon that even scientisst don’t have a proper explanation for. pic(635).jpg


Anonymous (ID: bRWt7Eoc) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:52 No.428270868

>be in 8th grade
>playing “roostie” where you grab your friends taint in the pool
>my taint is starting to hurt
>everyone is tense
>one kid hasnt been roostied
>we all gang up
>he grabs mine and wont let go
>i break my pacifist ways and punch him in the face twice
>i dont like punching people anymore
>quiet for the next hour
the game seems gay now that i think about it


Anonymous (ID: agum5cOC) 10/01/12(Mon)21:01:58No.428270894


Or was it “Cal”

God dammit. This is pissing me off.


Anonymous (ID: 5Ov6TOHq) 10/01/12(Mon)21:02:47 No.428271007

File: 1349139767282.gif-(961 KB, 240×180, 1334205112954.gif)

>be in 6th grade
>new kid arrives
>fat fuck 300lb
>neckbeard already developing
>smells like shit
>took my seat next to my friends
>call him a nerd

i’m a badass

>mfw he turns out to be a nice guy after all and end up taking japanese class with him


Anonymous (ID: udjeOUr6) 10/01/12(Mon)21:02:59No.428271041

>be in 4th grade
>comited suicide


Anonymous (ID: agum5cOC) 10/01/12(Mon)21:03:37 No.428271116


The one I currently live in, Cape Girardeau, probably has a few hidden somewhere.


Anonymous (ID: FyHEFFhO) 10/01/12(Mon)21:04:09No.428271179

god damn it all…
go back to school kid


Anonymous (ID: LduL8E0z) 10/01/12(Mon)21:05:05No.428271330

>be 12
>goes on internet
>I’m 12 and what is this?


Anonymous (ID: Yln79jaA) 10/01/12(Mon)21:05:12 No.428271346


One more

>Be old enough fro “religion” classes for conformation and whatnot
>Do not want to be there
>Parents force me to go
>Try to find a way out of it
>Decide to get kicked out of it
>Start saying I worship the devil because I’m so edgy
>Doesn’t work
>Start telling the nun you just don’t like hell because you’re a penguin and penguins like cold places
>Apparently calling her a penguin was enough to get kicked out.
>Still haven’t received conformation
>Can’t get married in a church


Anonymous (ID: PIZo7D/L) 10/01/12(Mon)21:05:28No.428271385

Holden Caulfield you


Search Terms Used By My Moronic Readers

I was just perusing my blog stats and happened across this feature in my tools menu that allows me to look at all of the search terms typed into google ALL TIME that have led people to my website.  What a fucked up world we live in…..


LOL hahahahahahahahahahahaha…..  Here they are with number of times they have been searched….


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Anybody ever heard of the Lifetime Movie Network?

Well if you haven’t let me tell you something, you are really missing out on some great drama.  I watched this movie called “Satan’s School for Girls” with Shannon Doherty the other morning and it was really just compelling and captivating.  They have other great movies too.  It seems like it’s kind of a girly channel because all of the commercials are about special douche treatments and sanitary napkins and stuff but still even if it is geared toward the females, there is no reason why a dude can’t get right into some of those movies.  I remember sitting at home with my girlfriend Christina Schwarz the other night and we were watching this movie about Cinammon Brown and it was really good too.  The dad was a real asshole and he had sex with these 14 and 15 year olds and got them to rob banks and blow up buildings and kill people and shit.  It was fucking rad.  He ended up getting executed at the end.  They hung him.  I didn’t even know that it was still legal to hang people in the United States of America but apparently it is.

There was a movie with Elizabeth Berkley the chick from “Saved by the Bell” and “Showgirls”.  It was totally bad ass.  I forgot the name of it though.  It was about this teacher named Christie Dawson who fully seduces all the students in her class and they have orgies and shit for months and nobody ever finds out until one day the principal of the school walks in the class to deliver some pizzas paid for by one of the parents and finds the whole class naked, eating ass and everything.  Berkley, as Christie, is the ringleader of the whole scene and I guess it was just a big front for some porno ring operating out of Cambodia.  Trippy ass shit.  Totally good movie.  Right there on the Lifetime Movie Network.  Or my LMN as I like to refer to it. 

Thanks for reading.  Enjoy your day.  And no, I did not get paid shit for writing this glowing endorsement of the Lifetime Movie Network.

I’ll be waiting for you in the tall grass

I don’t even know what I want to write about but I am sitting here feeling like “fuck, I need to write something because i haven’t written shit in a long time”.  i’m at my mom’s house in the coachella valley right now sitting at chip, my stepdad’s desk with my beautiful and very elegant girlfriend christina, who is looking like the cover of vogue magazine this morning.  basically whenever i look at her too long i have to go wash my eyes out with visine because she is so hot that she burns my retinas and could indeed cause blindness if i stare too long.

beware the wrath of /b/ 4chan/b/ versus @flyguyparsons

Screen shot taken from the twitter account of Aaron Jacob Parsons

Its been an interesting day in Cyberspace.  A perfect storm of sorts has come together and unleashed her fury on in the form of thousands and thousands of views of an article I wrote regarding Aaron Jacob Fosters yesterday.  As of 7:01 p.m. tonight I have had 6,938 people from 11 countries visit my website and read what I wrote. There 3,583 clicks of links that I provided that contain more information/corroboration of the crimes that are proven alleged by what I have written, all of which originated on the /b/ forum on  I want to take this opportunity to give props to the guys and girls who reside at /b/.  They might be a little warped but collectively they hold a great deal of power in their fingertips.  It was awesome to be a witness to this power as it unfolded.  Awesome as in I was awestruck and still am.  Certainly it is not a good idea to get on the bad side of a group that has this kind of power at its disposal.  Even worse to do it when they are bored and frothing at the bit for something to do.

It seems a bit of a foregone conclusion that the consequences are going to be severe and swift for the individuals responsible for the degrading beat down and robbery of the still unnamed victim in this case.  I feel absolutely no sympathy for the perpetrators.  I don’t give a shit what they have to say about it or what their excuse is or if they even remember what they were doing because of intoxication levels , temporary amnesia etc.  I really hope that prison is the end result for Aaron Jacob Parsons and everyone else involved, especially that annoying drunk bitch wearing her black panties parading around the street like she was some glamour queen.  Fuck her.  (man she STILL pisses me off)

The haters calling me racist can all suck it to be honest.  I am not even going to bother addressing that accusation.  It’s not true and my life and anything I’ve ever written in the past will attest to that FACT.  So, hate on haters.

I got a call from a reporter named Justin from the Baltimore Sun.  We talked for quite a few minutes about the origin of this situation, 4chan’s /b/ forum and more.  His view, stated to me anyhow, was that this is an instance of the internet being used for good and he was quick to show his admiration for the detective work done by the /b/ forum lurkers.  I agree wholeheartedly with this sentiment.  Choosing to fight against the “forces that /b/ is the ultimate example of the idiot who brings a knife to a gun fight”.

Have a good night everyone……Anthony Mandich

ImageADDENDUM: I replied to an email from the reporter I mentioned.  Here is what I had to say.  And I quote:

hey justin it was good talking to you.  i’m sending you this stuff before i even blog it so i must think you’re cool.  just don’t get me killed lol.

here is a quote from me if you want
“aaron jacob parsons is a wanted man”….post after post on /b/ repeated those words. it was late i was annoyed.  the arrogance shown by @flyguyparsons and @CASHton-Kutcher by posting the video of themselves proudly separating a man from his dignity really angered me.  they acted like it was so funny and so cool.
to beat down a guy like that, seemingly with impunity when: 
(A) he didn’t deserve it  and 
(B) couldn’t do anything about it but bleed and sit there bewildered, humiliated and alone and 
(C) further add to his pain by taking everything of value in his possession, stripping him naked, and letting some ugly drunk annoying bitch slap him open palmed across his face while he’s on his back  just didn’t sit well with me.
and the poor guy took it like a champ.  he didn’t defend himself (which was probably smart in this instance because this was a bear that you had to play dead against for sure.  so yeah he didn’t defend himself but he also didn’t bring further dishonor to himself by crying, pissing or moaning.  
two things resonated strongly with me.
1. the images of parsons mugging for the camera before the humiliation began and then creeping up and start digging through the guys pockets like it was a big joke.  i really hated that.
2.  that ugly chick wearing her panties with her big old ass all drunk grinding on the guy before it all started and then when he was down on his back she’s there standing behind his head and starts slapping in his face HARD and he can’t even see where these blows are coming from because she is standing behind his head.  that was particularly cowardly and thinking about it right now gets my blood boiling.  
you asked me what was different about this video as opposed to the many other millions of videos that are out there on the internet.  I am going to answer that with a post i did on some girls from a sorority at bowling green who were tragically killed in a car accident a few weeks ago.  my answer is obvious.

Aaron Jacob Parsons is a wanted man.

7:07 p.m. Wednesday April 18th, 2012 Update on the Aaron Jacob Parsons Saga:

Click here for an update that you won’t really believe.



Follow this link

for all the inside information about the case involving Aaron Jacob Parsons and his role in the ST. Paddy’s Day B’more Beatdown





Update 10:49 p.m. Wed April 4th, 2012

In REPLY to the article in the Baltimore Sun by Justin Fentin:

AnthonyMandich at 8:13 PM April 04, 2012
To clarify: a video filmed by @CASHton_Kutcher, starring Aaron Jacob Parsons and a cast of cowards who beat, robbed, and stripped naked a man who was defenseless, drunk, alone, and clearly in over his head, was posted to worldstar and twitter.

The initiator of the physical violence is an aspiring male model, and famous dj in the Maryland ghetto named Aaron Jacob Parsons.

This is a fact, not an allegation.

His words and mannerisms BEFORE he put his hand in the victims pocket and took his car keys, are indicative of premeditation (consideration of an act beforehand that shows an intent to commit that act).

<>He mentions worldstar, chuckles about how he’s GOT to take the boy’s money, and then proceeds to do just exactly that. Clearly this was not done in self defense as he unconvincingly tried to make it appear on his twitter account.

I am Anthony Mandich, the person who wrote up the story and posted it at The smug attitudes, and hysterical laughing while this guy was robbed and then stripped naked on the streets pissed off everyone on the /b/ forum at  

They outed him and that’s that. Now Mr. Parsons is going to pay, hopefully with some penitentiary time.

A person who shows a shameful lack of courage in the face of danger is a coward. Aaron Parsons deleted his Twitter account which contained approximately  30,000 tweets as soon as it was clear we were onto him.  30,000 tweets.  That’s a lot of tweets to throw away at the first sign of danger.   I laugh at him for that.  I’m also grateful he’s never heard of “consciousness of guilt” as well.  Deleting your Facebook and Twitter is drastic and also another sign that he knew full and well that he had been a bad bad kid. Idiot…

Although I am somewhat naive to the intricacies of the law, I believe factors that indicate premeditation, can be utilized by motivated prosecutors to elevate the charges  that a defendant faces.

 When the act that follows (the premeditation) is  one that you wouldn’t write home to Mommy about AND results in the suffering and degradation of an innocent person, consequences should be quite severe, in my opinion.

Helpless (harmless)…forced to endure abuse of a humiliating and heinous nature…robbed, beaten, stripped of his garments…his tag heuer watch.. his dignity, pride, and self confidence…

 all for the sake of bemusement (at best)


You would trade your humanity for something as intrinsically worthless as filming yourselves beating a man so you can post the results on the  internet??   (and in the meanwhile prove yourself  to be of base origin, a low life contemptible Neanderthal, completely devoid of  high values or ethics, shoddy, inferior in quality, with a selfish lack of  human decency)

I hate to break it to you ladies and gentlemen but that’s nothing to aspire to.  I mean listen…I’m so far from perfect it can’t be overstated just how far away I am.  Light years, galaxies, solar systems even.  But, with all of my flaws and lapses in judgment fuckups, I’m still a human being striving to evolve.  If I found myself  as devoid of hope as the animals who perpetrated this hateful action, my life would be over because often, that faith in the nobler aspects of mankind is the only thing that keeps me plodding along.

The last comment I want to make here is regarding the color of everyone’s skin.  Race is certainly a hot button topic in society today.  When hasn’t it been?

Pervading charges of racism abound constantly to the point where it becomes so redundant that in my opinion it just cancels itself out.

A large percentage of the comments I’ve read on my own blog here and all over the internet are inappropriate, insensitive and fucking beyond ignorant.  Again, so overwhelming in nature, that I find myself laughing at some of the crap I read.  I never censor comments on my own site.  I think censorship is fucking hideous.

People have been calling me a racist all over the internet and I honestly don’t give a flying rat’s ass.  I’m not racist.  No matter what way you slice it, I’m not fucking racist.  Of all the lowlifes in this world, white trash inbred redneck motherfuckers talking about white pride and all that separatist crap about preserving some non existent white race blah blah blah blah…they annoy me more then any other lowlife cross section of any race that exists in this world.  I hate em.

I can’t stand ignorance.  And brothers let me tell you… nothing sings louder in my heart head and soul as being true then the idea that racial superiority is BULLSHIT with a capital B just like I typed it.    Fucking utter bullshit.  I’m white.  I’m from Trinidad and Tobago.  It’s black.  I don’t give a shit.  I like black people, I’ve fucked hugged scores of black chicks (hot ones), and I have plenty of black friends.  I like Asians just fine.

The stereotypes about Asians and gambling are true though….let me tell you hahahaha.  I’m a big time gambler and gambling knows no color lines.  One of my very best friends in the world who unfortunately got shot and killed  was Vietnamese.  I speak Spanish fluently because I like Mexicans.

I just don’t give a gosh darn shit about race.  Its not an issue I consider before making decisions in my life for the most part.  

I’m not in prison and never have been so why should I ride in the white car and exclude a huge percentage of the world from my insane life?  Screw Fuck that.  Its pretty much obvious to anyone with a brain, that every group on the planet has its pieces of shit and its stars.  I hate pieces of shit no matter what color they are.  I don’t even know why I’m even saying this because honestly I don’t give a care  shit what you think, about what I think, about the color of a man’s skin.  If you don’t like me then I’m sure we can exist in our own little corners of hell the planet without ever crossing paths.  Fine by me.

I just wanna live baby.

So there it is.  That’s what I think about all of this stuff shit.  Take what you want out of it and leave the rest behind.  And enjoy your life as much as you can without making some else hate theirs.  That’s not too much to ask in my opinion.  Bye bye……

What follows is the original Post 

Update 12:42 a.m. Wednesday, April 4th, 2011 2012 Just noticed that lol.


I’ve been told off by several readers of this post for my anti-women and anti-homosexual venom so I’m going to correct the portions of my write up that contain these disparaging  views.  I apologize to anyone offended by these remarks.

UPDATE:  9:52 a.m. Tuesday, April 3rd,2011

This post is getting an unbelievable number of views and from what my stats indicate, many of these are from wonderful people hot bitches.  I just wanted to say thanks for that.  

Here is the basic story as I know it.  Approximately 9 days ago in Baltimore, Maryland an adult male  standing on a sidewalk was surrounded by a group of young adult males and females.  One of the females who looked like she was just wearing panties and a tee shirt started grinding her butt stinkyfat ass into the guys crotch like she wanted to make love get penetrated.

One guy in a grey beenie starts creeping up to the victim on his right then two guys with white shirts are right next to him on the left.  The taller one, Aaron Jacob Parsons reaches into the victim’s front right pocket and grabs something before the guy could stop him.  Then the victim starts walking towards the criminal Parsons who sucker punches him with a cowardly but lethal right hook, sending the innocent man tumbling to the concrete where he is then beset upon by the crowd of approximately 15 people who proceed to punch, kick, slap and stomp him.

I was lurking on laughing out loud like a mental patient at the crazy shit that goes on there when a link to the video causing all the commotion popped up along with the usual /b/tarded request for justice, saying how this bullshit couldn’t be tolerated and a bunch of random blah blah blah.  Same sorta shit you will see there right now if you feel the need to walk on the wild side.

Our version of the video was on Twitter and came from  the account of Rashad PItts aka King Cash aka CASTton_kutcher.

His Twitter page and Facebook were still up at that time so I was reading his tweets where he’s talking all tough about dry snitches and all this other ghetto ass bullshit basically trying to intimidate the pests from /b/ who were already getting started with a seek and destroy mission against him and his buddy the now infamous Aaron Jacob Parsons.

Rashad Pitts was the cameraman who filmed this inhuman assault.  He was also revving up Parsons, egging him on to steal the guys watch and introducing his video with an “only in baltimore” which was followed up by Parsons with a shout out to

It was also posted on the attackers Twitter page which has since been deleted along with his Facebook.  The original guy who started the whole thing is Aaron Jacob Parsons @flyguyparsons on Twitter.

The continuation video is on and it is deplorable and despicable.  Here that is:

It shows the poor getting robbed like a dead man and stripped all the way naked on the street corner.

It made me sick to watch. Once the first punch was thrown by Parsons, it seemed to trigger the pack mentality in the rest of the group.  I’ve never understood why these types of beatings are tolerated, and in fact seem to be the modus operandi for most street gangs to use when dealing with someone considered a rival or an enemy.  There just seems to be an element of implied cowardice inherent in this form of doting out punishment.  Where is the challenge in having 15 guys beat down one guy?

I don’t see the bravery. I don’t see an element of respect being garnered by the ones issuing the beating.  I simply believe that mob beatings lack honor and are not anything to ever feel proud of.    I always think to myself what a bunch of really bad people cunts to do that shit.  Even the females ugly ass whores that were there were slapping the guy when he was on the ground and shit should be sent to the penitentiary. Ruffians!! Assholes!.

Obviously they all know they are going to the penitentiary soon because they all deleted their social media accounts and started making anonymous threats on  I guess they thought they were going to intimidate an army of anonymous /b/’s but the /b/’s were having none of that.  They started digging deep and got Aaron Jacob Parson’s phone number (443)-633-8508, his Myspace, Facebook etc., posted the video on (which was taken down by the interesting management pussy fucks at youtube…God I strongly DISLIKE hate youtube).

It was put on Here’s the link for that UPVOTE FOR JUSTICE:

It was pretty funny to read all the tough talk coming from those cowards on their twitter accounts only to have them delete their own accounts and run for the hills like the dastardly dopes pussies they are.  I for one, sincerely hope they are arrested and sent to prison for what they did to that poor guy.  Darn Fuck them.  And dudes….you guys hang out with the loveliest females ugliest, skankiest looking, stinky ass whores I’ve ever seen.

You guys are mean!! Die Fuckers

Aaron Jacob Parsons, hitting the guy was one thing. Turning out his pockets when the dude helpless on the ground yet another.
Not entirely sure that I understand the need to take off everything including another mans panties
i’m so sorry for being SUCH A meany BITCH
no matter what the color of my skin is i am an hero asshole
Hi, I’m Aaron, I enjoy sweater vests and long walks on the beach…


Here is Aaron Jacob Parsons Facebook

Then and there I got a sinking feeling in my chest, I knew what was coming was something that our oblivious victim in the green mountain dew shirt was not going to enjoy terribly much. A cowardly assault I could handle, shit I’ve seen millions of them live and on the world wide.  I pretty much have numbed myself to getting emotional about matters out of my control and to be honest there is just so much out there in cyberspace, much of it exponentially more horrifying then this but…..and yes there is a but….I do not claim to understand myself well enough to even try and figure out why some stories just take hold of my brain, to the point that i cannot move from my chair until my heart tells me that i have done everything possible to investigate and figure out why (mostly) this or that fucked up situation took place.  i get so mad at some of these people and i feel so sad for these victims that my own internal justice center compels me to doggedly pursue every scrap of clue out there, looking under every rock, reading every thread, google data mining myself into oblivian,  until my brain and heart sigh and i’ve somehow killed six hours and i’m fucking starving  dying of thirst need to piss so bad…i’m drained…dead to the world bemoaning the fact that all my good intentions for a session of real productivity handling tasks often crucial to my survival on the planet, let alone my well being have been thrown out the fucking window yet again.  I never have anything tangible to show for my efforts which is a shame because if i’m honest and not just tooting my own horn, i’m saying about myself, “the kids got talent”.  there is no denying it, i’m smart, savvy, well educated and tenacious as a badger.  you would probably be shocked if it i told you to what lengths i’ve gone to fully immerse myself in one of my quests to understand what basically boils down to the pig headed, evil nature of quite a large percentage of the population roaming the planet today, and every day before today.  i learn some of the craziest shit in the strangest ways and it probably serves no purpose except between me and the victim, especially if they have died as a result of whatever it is i’ve latched onto,  i feel this weird connection and i can’t stop myself from continuing whether my right shoulder is aching my fingers and feet are numb like they are right now or not, i can’t stop until i feel like the victim feels that i’ve done my duty to get to the bottom of whatever it is that caused them to be victimized and usually die.  its respect and sadness and overwhelming empathy that drives me and its truly for the most part a personal thing. i do write this blog but nobody reads it and i really couldn’t give a shit for the most part, i’m just doing my part to keep striving, searching for answers to queries that will never be answered to my satisfaction.  i get clues but true satisfaction never. i’m always in search of that story that the world has got all wrong, one where the perpetrator is the victim, one where my faith in humanity can somehow be restored a little. i can’t even define for myself  what my quest even is so i’m definitely doomed.  how can you find the answers you are looking for if you don’t even know what the question that you’re asking is?  that’s a devastating thought to me it really is.  but what am i supposed to?  all i can do is resign myself to another long session of data mining until i have followed every thread, investigated every possible correlation among the minutia available at my fingertips.  using a machine to try and understand what motivates a person its fucking retarded.  its not good for me to dwell when i’m in this reflective, yearning, questioning mood, on nights exactly like tonight when the room is quiet except for the sounds of my fingers, the humming of the piece of shit tower i’m using, the sound of the rice cooker popping to signify that its done.  my face is hot, my ears and cheeks are burning and i’m babbling.  there is some point to this exercise if i could just figure out what it is and let the profound truth of it just release itself and in doing so release me from this chair i would be so grateful.  when i wrote the post i’m editing right now (why by the way has been reblogged on this site should you choose to have me shut the fuck up and just get to the content you came here for) i was in a different mindset.  if you are ever bored you should spend a day going through all my posts.  there are unquestionably some brilliant things that i’ve written lurking in my archives.  the truly special ones i reread in awe, never even remembering writing them and i get that sense of twitchy freaky hairs on my arms standing up sorta creepy (but not) feeling coursing through my head and my narcissism lulz take over and i know i am fated for something more then an ordinary existence.  lol aren’t we all. for fuck’s sweet sake.  killing me.

I tell you what, i’m not deleting this stuff but i’m going to do you all a favor and move my original content back up and this literary mumbo jumbo bullshit to the end and i’ll even warn you before you start reading it that you will end up cursing my name and muttering to yourself if you choose to continue past a certain point.  

I’ll just do that now …hold on….

I find myself often (rightclick/copy/openlink)ing anything remotely interesting on the internet and this was no exception. I probably had thirty windows open and refreshing (we have the worst slow shitty dsl) and my routine usually is to stay on whatever i’m on at the time until i know its safe to start clicking on the new batch of bullshit.  Its fun, its addicting, you learn a lot of useless information but you feel connected to the world at the same time so whatever.  anyways i digress as usual.  sorry about that. 

Current Events or 15 Ways to Love your Leaver

Kony 2012 is a video I have decided that I don’t have any desire to see.  I don’t know why I don’t know what Kony 12 can kiss my butt.  Sorry I just woke up after a pretty long period of rest on the couch at Heather Batchelder’s house in beautiful, picturesque Tustin, California.

I’m  not too sure how the Encyclopedia Dramatica does it. Their entries all have hundreds of links to all sorts of interesting and exciting content.  I can’t imagine how fucking long it takes them to write each of their posts.  Kudos to them.  Although I can’t claim to know a quarter of the shit about the internet that they do and therefore I am often lost trying to keep up with what they are talking about, starting with any one of their entries is a good fucking way to get fucking lost in internet hell for a day.  Or longer.  The internet, the real internet, wow….it’s truly a scary place full of hidden gems and content galore and if you don’t have control over yourself (and I don’t) then you can easily find yourself losing whole chunks of time basically doing nothing except filling your head up with knowledge, theories, half assed suppositions, biased reporting on demented and seldom heard of topics, gore and death with a sprinkling of funny, feel good shit but mostly a lot of sex and death to be honest. Okay, so I’m reading the paragraph I just typed out and imagining all of the different psycho locations I could take you guys on just by linking to the words I’ve written and it comes over me that I have quite a bit of power in these attractive hands of mine.  If you have read this far then that means I’ve got you on the hook and really its up to me  not you where that hook can take you.  Do you want to go to heaven or hell? Would you rather get the hell part over with while you are on this mostly hellish planet or do you want to forego all the suffering and experience divinity firsthand while still alive?  Good question you say.  Or maybe you don’t who really gives a fuck?  I don’t because I know that I don’t even have one true fan of my rambling writing.  Nope there isn’t even one person out there that can honestly say that they can’t wait for my next post, or that they have read everything I have ever written.  Nobody could pass even a simple trivia test based on the many posts that have preceded this one.  I don’t even think I could.  After all, I was higher then a kite for the majority of the posts on this website and I have never really had the time to go back through and read over every single one of them.  I’m not a professional blogger.  I don’t get paid jack shit for writing this.  I can’t even tell you why I bother writing this (we’re back again to NOBODY GIVES A RAT’S ASS) blog.  I know its not fresh or hip or cool. I know I sound like a fool and a tool and most of you wish I would drown in a pool or fall off my stool.  Lame.  All of it.  Lame.  The same.  Shame.  Fame is something I will never get.  Yet I seek it.  Couldn’t even tell you why but I assume the answer begins with the buzzword Narcissism.  Okay listen I’m sorry for sounding so stupid in this paragraph. I’m going to stop with the stupid now and tell you guys a good story .  So if you’ve somehow risen above (whatever that means) and made it to this point of this story then you are in luck because you are about to get a true story from the archives of my life.

WTF is wrong with THESE People?

Just kidding.  I’m watching the ESPN’s coverage of the World Series of Poker Main Event on right now and that’s what the first comment on the video says.  He’s talking about the fact that Norman Chad, the clown prince of poker announcers, is no longer working the telecast.  If you watch the poker on ESPN, you will know who I’m talking about.  He’s the dude that makes all the jokes and talks about his ex wives and other miscellaneous jibber jabber constantly.  Personally I love Norman Chad.  He’s a fucking crack up.  He always gives Phil Hellmuth shit, he’s a total smart ass.  But whatever…who cares right.To be honest, if you are reading this post, its a good bet that you are at your office job, bored off your ass, maybe thinking about checking out a couple pics of hot naked chicks and sneaking off to the Men’s Lavatory.  In order to get the proper stimulation, its necessary for you to go to of course and type in one of a million familiar phrases such as “hot ass”, “sexy blond bimbo”, “busty milkers”, “nasty catholic school tramps”, “tits and ass”, “suck it”….something along those lines.  Any combination of many of those words could quite possible lead you to my blog.  Especially if you do your searches in “safe mode”.  I think I’ve gotten somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,000 hits from “hottest ass”, in safe mode on google.  I haven’t checked in a while but the last time I did that exact same search, this site was the eighth link shown.  You click on the link and its one of my posts, “Fuck This, Fuck That”, and it has an amazing photo of two incredible girls in Catholic School Uniforms.  The blond one, on top, has the sexiest, most edible looking ass, I’ve ever actually seen.I would marry the girl on top, just from this pic. Is that sick or what?  I really don’t mind how you got here.  It would be nice if you came back.  That’s a bit much to ask though, and I’m aware of that.  Dudes that are looking to rub one out during their lunch break from the law firm, accounting office, car dealership, real estate development corp, advertising agency, cheese factory, machine shop, hardware wholesaler, oil company, home builder, tile shop, subway sandwich franchise, hotel, casino, gas station, smoke shop, liquor store, pharmaceutical company, internet marketing corp, skate shop, mcdonalds franchise, tobacco company, movie studio, used tire store, 7-11 franchise, jack in the box franchise, dentist office, i.r.s. office, police station, airline, school board, men’s wearhouse, l.a. fitness, or verizon wireless retail outlet that they work at are generally not looking to read any words a smart ass nobody like myself would put together.In fact, I’m pretty sure the majority of the people who end up here, feel cheated in some way, and leave mildly annoyed.  I can’t say I blame them.  If I didn’t know me, I wouldn’t be clamoring to read me.  I’d be like, “fuck man.  I came here to see some hot bitches not read War and Peace, who really gives a fuck what you think about anything.  Just bring on the ass!”In this day and age of information overload, finding a loyal group of readers doesn’t seem to be an easy task for GOOD writers, with GOOD stories to tell.  If I’m honest, I’ll admit I’m neither.  Who cares about that even though?  Does that really even need to be said? I mean seriously now.  I’m dropping the ball here big time. I’m still jet lagged from my trip to the Cayman Islands.  My internal body clock is already all fucked up to begin with and now its worse.  I’m just gonna go.  Sorry about this post. Its a true piece of shit.

Oh one thing …is anyone else totally shocked at how fucked up of a company Full Tilt Poker turned out to be?  I can’t even believe that shit.  They must have squandered so incredibly much money, the numbers must be boggling.  I say this because, the company made incredible amounts of cash every single second of every single day, thousands of times a second.  It was common to see 70,000 players seated at cash games and tournaments at any given time.  The rake they must have been pulling in has to be pretty insane.  Some of you don’t know what I’m even talking about.  A quick rundown:  after Black Friday came a few months back, when the US govt put the clamp down on Full Tilt, Pokerstars and Ultimate Bet, all of the players who live in the USA were suddenly standing around not being able to play poker or get the money that they had deposited with the sites out.  We’re talking billions of dollars.  At first it was understandable and everyone was pissed at the Southern Justice Center’s attorneys for being a bunch of dicks and shutting us out of playing poker AND our cash.

It was soon made clear though that the Hoover Boys gave the okay for the sites to refund us all of our cash.  Four months later we are finding out that Full Tilt, in particular, one of the best and most popular sites BY FAR, didn’t have sufficient cash reserves on hand to pay all of the US players back at once.  That’s total BULLSHIT.  Here’s why.  The online poker sites, just like the landbased casinos, do not directly gamble against the players at the table.  Its not like blackjack or roulette or slots where you are pitted against the casino and thus have a slim shot in hell’s chance of being ahead in any kind of sustainable way, ever.  Poker players compete against other players.  The house deals the fucking cards and hosts the game and thats it.  They get paid a “rake” for doing that.  That means every hand that is dealt, the house gets a small percentage of the pot as its share for providing the tables, dealer, floor men, chips etc etc etc.  Its a fucking lot of money trust me.  A lot of money.  Especially with an online poker room, give me a break.  They were making a killing beyond words.  Just think about 20,000 hands a minute being played 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  It doesn’t matter what the weather is like.  Nothing matters.  They provide a virtual rendition of a poker table. Its fucking software.  They already own it.  So it stands to reason that the more players they got to play real money games on their site, the better off they were.

Seems like the sky was the limit.  If you can deal with 50,000 players at one time, well then you tell me how much more taxing it would be for them to deal with 5,000,000 at one time.  Not that much harder.  Trust me Full Tilt was blowing up so hard.  Given those probable vast sums of revenue being generated in a liquid format every second of every day, its hard for me to understand why they felt the need to go into the “trust funds”, which are the players individual poker bankroll accounts.  Those are off limits period.  Its no different to taxes actually.   Think about as if you were working for some jackass and he was taking 200 bucks a week out of your paycheck for IRS Federal Deductions right?  Those are your monies, that you worked and earned, and they should be sent straight to the IRS, on your behalf, to be used against your tax obligation at the end of the year.  In the perfect world the dude sends in your cash no problem, gives you your W2 at the end of the year, you take it to your bald, beer bellied, CPA dude, who charges you a 150 bucks to file your 1040 for you.  If you sent in too much at the end of the year you get a tax refund check.  I’m sure everyone knows what I’m talking about here duh.

Now, what if you get those taxes withheld from your paycheck, but your boss is a broke ass who can barely afford to pay the electricity and stuff, so he routinely dips into those monies he “withheld” from your paycheck that should have been earmarked to go to the IRS.   You would probably not be surprised if I told you that is a hugely common thing to happen.  Companies in trouble can barely make the payroll to begin with.  They’re thinking, “thank God we didn’t have to pay Sally her full amount, we would have never made it.”  The payroll is 8 grand say, and your dipshit boss somehow scrapes up 5,600, just barely enough to cover the net checks.  Well, that other 2,400 bucks has been paid too, whether they had the cash on hand  or not.  You can imagine what happens from there.  Shit starts to snowball big time.  All of a sudden the quarter is over, and for 12 straight weeks, the money that was supposed to be sitting in that special IRS only account at the bank to pay the quarterly payroll taxes is nowhere to be found.  It can’t be found because it never existed.  Your dipshit boss never had that money, in actual cash, ever.  But the government doesn’t look at it like that.  The government looks at that as the employer is stealing the fucking worker’s money.

Not a good thing to be doing, if you are the employer. You can go to prison for that shit.  In the IRS’s view, you stole that money.  You stole it from your employees because now they cannot take care of their own tax obligations.  That’s fucked up man.  It is.

Well, Full Tilt, in this case is doing exactly the same thing. They don’t have the cash to refund the players.  They should have never touched those funds.  Its called commingling and basically those deposits should be in special trust accounts that have nothing to do with the operating checking account of the business.  Obviously Full Tilt got caught with their hand in the cookie jar big time.  I’m sure it happens all the time with all kinds of companies actually.  The major difference is that Full Tilt didn’t think they were going to be shut down like that, so they were using the money in the players accounts for all sorts of corporate expenses, probably mainly sponsorship deals and perks to all of their sponsored players and whatnot.  When they got shut down their revenues went from millions a day to zero cents a day from USA players.  Now everyone is fucked. Personally, my account will never get paid back to me and same with all sorts of dudes.  I heard yesterday that the UK just banned Full Tilt as well, because of this improper trust fund usage.  Its a pretty terrible thing all the way around.  I do have sympathy for Full Tilt, they were just trying to blow up….big time.  Then they got nailed to the cross at the worst possible time and now its over.

Sad shit.  Hey sorry about this terrible blog post today.  I’ll try harder next time okay.  Congratulations once again to Ian McCall, for taking the Flyweight championship with a guillotine choke in the third round of his match against Darrell Montague at Tachi Palace Fights 10.  Then the next day the guy went out and married his pregnant girlfriend.  Good for him.

Peace out fools

The Day the Poker Died: Full Tilt and PokerStars to issue refunds

First of all you have to watch this little video that I got off of Tom Dwan’s Facebook.  Its so rad!!!!!

I read earlier that prosecutors have reached an accord with Full Tilt Poker and Pokerstars where the respective companies would regain control of their domain names for the specific purpose of returning funds belonging to US players when the sites were seized last Friday (Apr 15th, 2011).  Understandably, the relief being expressed by players is emphatic and joyful.  One narcissistic  player, speaking only  on the condition that his name would be mentioned prominentlly in this and every other story carried by this site was Anthony Mandich,

I believe I speak for players across the nation when I say what a relief it is to know that the Department of Justice is graciously allowing Full Tilt Poker to use its own  domain name for the time needed to issue refunds to the hard working cadre of professional players who were so dramatically and shamefully uprooted from their access to the hard earned dollars previously donated to them on a daily basis by idiots without a clue how to even spell the word POKER let alone play it entrusted to sites such as Full Tilt Poker and PokerStars.   The balance that I have tied up in this is not overly large at .06 cents; however, I am here today to show solidarity with my brethren in the poker community, people such as Tom Dwan, Phil Ivey, Dave Galfond and the incredibly sexy and 100% fuckable Jennifer Tilly.  As poker players, we hope that this is a first step towards someday having our gravy train careers reopened to us in order that we can once again rob the  wealthy, pampered and clueless who don’t seem to mind pissing their money away to nameless strangers who don’t appreciate it  take our places alongside the millions of other hardworking Americans toiling thanklessly to keep this great nation intact.   Ours is a noble mission and it is our goal to enact an Act of Congress in the form of an amendment to the Constitution of The United States of America which will protect our rights online thieves  as skilled players and never have it taken from us again.

The companies will also be permitted to continue real money play with players not located in the United States.  According to a statement issued by Full Tilt Poker on Wednesday there are a number of issues that still need to be worked out before players in the USA can physically obtain their refunds.

Although players in the United States will not be permitted to engage in real-money play, the agreement expressly allows for real-money play outside of the United States.  But, unfortunately, there remain significant practical and legal impediments to returning funds to players in the immediate future. As a result of the recent enforcement action, there exists no authorized U.S. payment channel through which to make refunds; Full Tilt Poker has no accounting of the millions of dollars of player funds that were seized by the government; and the government has not agreed to permit any of the seized player funds to be returned to the players,” it continued.  Notwithstanding these issues, Full Tilt Poker is ready to work diligently with the United States Attorney’s Office in the Southern District of New York to try and resolve these issues and to get players their money back as soon as possible.

Full Tilt’s statement brings up a very good point.  The US Government in its infinite wisdom shut down (and indicted) many of the companies responsible for processing financial transactions such as payments to players.  Given the harshness and severity of the actions taken against several of these processing companies, it doesn’t seem likely that those remaining firms with which Full Tilt and PokerStars had done business, are going to be clamoring to fulfill this one time flood of refund requests for fear of increased scrutiny by the watchful eyes of the government and now, media etc.

Perhaps, given the green light to do so by the US Attorney’s Office, we can all get a glimpse of what the future may have in store for players if internet poker is ever legalized and properly regulated in the USA again by paying attention to the manner and means by which this influx of refund requests are handled by Full Tilt Poker and PokerStars (and Absolute Poker in all probability).  I am interested to see how smoothly these refunds are handled  now that the complications resulting from being forced to hide gambling related transactions from US banks and credit card processors has been removed.   Will this be a hopeful glimpse of how simple these types of transactions can be handled in an environment where online poker is legal or a footnote to the final chapter of the saga known as “The Day the Poker Died”?

Only time will tell.

2010 was a good year for sex and doesnt this girl have the hottest ass?

Sometimes Life Will Beat The Shit Of You

Monday April 18th, 2011 11:45 a.m.

I just read the May, 2010 Reader’s Digest at some friends house while waiting hours for them to get ready so that we can finally get the fuck out of  here.  I’ve got to moan and  complain a little just because I feel like its the right thing to do but in reality I wasn’t even bored.  I’m talking two and a half hours or more of sitting here in the computer room reading Reader’s Digest cover to cover and then just now watching a fight from Bellator 39.  Ben Saunders vs. Matt Song Lee isn’t the ugliest MMA fight you will ever see.  Ben Saunders isn’t the most devastating striker I’ve ever seen nor is Matt Song Lee the most courageous person to take an ass beating inside the octagon.  That being said, just click on that link two lines up and watch the fight.  The fact that this is pretty much just the normal run of the mill everyday sorta fight ought to tell you a little bit about how insane MMA as a sport is.   The doctors call a stop to the fight with maybe 3 minutes left in the 3rd round after Saunders catches Lee with yet another short, gash causing, bone thumping, flesh crushing elbow. This one, above the left eye,  is almost a perfect match for the one Lee had  already been sporting in the same spot, opposite eye.  Not to mention the huge lump, actually call it what it is, an insane hematoma underthe left eye,  the massive gash on his cheek, the broken and battered and disgustingly bloody mashed piece of dog shit that used to be his nose..

Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn boy!

Watching this fight maybe three years ago, I would have been just amazed and astounded, and don’t get me wrong it was  a very interesting and entertaining fight to be sure.  The thing is, these days I’m used to seeing that kind of amazing, “fight of the year” type battle, every fight card that I get into.   It can be Bellator, StrikeForce, the WEC, Pride, Dream, Elite XC, or the UFC it doesn’t really matter.  All of them have a bevy of insanely talented and tough as nails MMA warriors to choose from.

The talent pool is rife with “the next big thing”, can’t miss guys (and ladies) ready to basically get in there and kill or be killed which is pretty much the ideal recipe for what fight fans want to really see.   In my opinion there is not even a comparison to be made between MMA and “the sweet science” of Boxing in terms of ferocity, courage, big hype fights that live up to the hype, interesting matchups etc.  MMA is home to the  stories that awe the audience with the rush of emotion we feel,

underdogs rising to the occasion, unbelievable trash talking before fights, followed by humble respect for kindred warriors after…..insane knockouts, crazy action, seemingly impossible feats of athleticism (see Anthony Pettit’s off the cage kick in the WEC), and just overall hooplah.  In comparison (or lack thereof) rare indeed is the really engaging boxing match.  Rare indeed is the boxing match that everybody wants to see.  I don’t understand how the disparity in income levels of the stars in each sport continues to exist.  I’m sure that has to change soon.

Anyways I think I have to get out of here now my friend is actually done with whatever  they needed to do while I’ve been sitting here as quietly as a church mouse.  So I will need to cut this off quickly.  How about a pic of some gratuitous “hottest ass”?  That sounds great actually let me find something really quickly hold on.

I love this thing I will eat this thing she has the hottest ass

There you go I have made you life complete have I not?  By the way I just saw the reason why I get so many hits under hottest ass on google.  On if you search for “hottest ass” with your safe search set to moderate, a pic from one of my other posts is the 15th image shown out of 1,810,000.  Which isn’t too bad is it?

See ya

Swamp chickens, Ghetto dwelling, and the Norco Crips

That title is surely an attention getter if ever I did see one.  By the way for the last week or so ever since I decided that I am from North Carolina you would do much better as far as understanding my nonsense if you read it in your mind as if you was also from North Carolina or any other state that refers to shopping carts as buggies.  Just read it with a twang and we’re gonna get along just fine okay.

I ain’t really got much time for a post here right now being the urban jet setting pretty boy that I am but I feel its necessary to touch base with my constituents from time to time as a way of  getting down into the trenches with y’all common folk.  Y’uns is spectacular prized pupils of mine.  The lesson that I am trying to teach has not been revealed to me as of yet but I’m sure it will be in time for all of us to get the necessary wisdom  from that there lesson.

Actually this is a garbled attempt at sounding somehow outlandish when really and truly I am in a rush.  I need to go meet up with my sister Theresa who has my driver’s license by 5pm at her place of gainful employment, I forgot the name of it but its over there up yonder somewhere in the vicinity of Lincoln Avenue and the 91 Freeway.  She done told me that it was on the other side of McDonald’s which must be a blessing for anyone to be so honored to work nearby such a beautiful and wonderful company outlet as a franchisee of McDonald’s.  I would love to work nearby McDonald’s and have the wonderful sensation of gaining a pound of rancid beef fat added to my svelte waistline each and everyday.  After all, its a very family friendly and budget conscious place to eat.  You know as well that McDonald’s corporate  headquarters has made it their mission in 2011 for all of its many franchises to express individuality and originality with their menu options.

For instance in Fontana, California, the McDonald’s franchisee up there has renamed his restaurant McTucky’s after their adopted home state of Kentucky.  They offer such delectable delights as the McSwamp Chicken Tenderloin sandwich in honor of the great state of Alabama (Roll Tide!!).  Does anyone know what a swamp chicken is by the way?  I coined the phrase myself of course one day last week in a state of extreme delirium when I was visited by an apparition of a redneck militia soldier who rolled up on me in his buggy while I was playing Cleopatra Keno over at Pechanga Casino.

I had been at the same machine for 16 days you see, and I felt like I needed dialysis treatment because my kidneys had been assaulted by nothing but Pepsis as way of nutrition the entire marathon session.  When you are sitting at a slot machine which you don’t want to give up because its already taken your firstborn child, your left testicle, 75% of your remaining life force and of course the contents of your wallet, all available credit cards and a good deal of your dignity (due to having been forced to prostitute yourself in the high limits bathrooms to creepy Asian matrons with breath that smells like Pork Kung Pao dipped in Ponzu Sauce and served with fresh garlic) it gets kinda hard to remember the basic fundamentals of healthy human living like eating food, taking showers and brushing your teeth (also known as gumming your hushpuppies, if you are from Missouri, the Buggy State).

It never fails you see, when you have thrown the equivalent of a brand new Chevrolet Suburban into a computerized personal one armed robbery facilitator, or “slot machine”, and you get up out of frustration to maybe clear your head, brush your nasty ass teeth and have a smoke while maybe even taking a look at the  sun for the first time in forever, that some old ass asian water buffalo will saunter up and immediately hit the progressive jackpot on your untended machine.  If you have ever gone through such a miserable and incomprehensibly demoralizing (sound familiar 12 steppers?) nightmare as I have many times you know what I’m talking about.  Its painful hombre.  Very very painful.

In an effort to ensure that  such a horrible outcome does not repeat itself, most compulsively degenerate morons who gamble, such as myself, have taken certain steps, which  when used in conjunction with a lobotomy, have been shown to be of assistance in dealing with this issue.  One of these steps is known as Transcendental Medication and is a method similar to the “meditation” practiced by Buddhists and New Age Flower Children for years now.  Many of the processes involved with TM as I’ll call it are the same only different as its older, better, less stupid brother, Meditation.  Both involve wiping the psyche clear of mental debris that maybe inhibiting the swamp also known as your mind and preventing it from processing life through a more realistic and less expensive filter then the constantly failing “Angry and Disgruntled Degenerate Slot Player” most of the people that benefit from TM have historically chosen.

You are probably asking yourself what any of this slick jargon has to do with the topic you are here to learn more about.  That topic of course is the history of the Swamp Chicken which no doubt has left you in a state of nervous anticipation, bordering on frenzied manic hysteria while you have been nervously counting down the hours until which time I deemed appropriate to share with you, gentle reader.  To be honest, I’m somewhat lost myself on what TM has to do with a swamp chicken.  The thing is, I  figure it would be a waste to waste (is that even proper grammar?) my elegantly crafted lines of pure horse manure that I’ve typed so far so (again….proper grammar?) I’m just going to have to continue bluffing at the connection between the two totally unrelated and actually non exsitent subjects.

I figure its easier to just continue double barreling y’all with blasts of bullshit that have no roots in reality rather then suck it up, admit to God, myself and all of the other human beings the exact nature of my “lack of anything meaningful to share” and start over or perhaps even scrap the whole ridiculous idea of writing a post today.  Hopefully, I can continue to baffle and amaze both of us with this boisterous, bat shit bending banter and somehow pull it all together at the end with some sort of  fairy tale like save while managing to sound humble, enthusiastic and pleasantly self effacing at the same time as appearing to be competent and genuine.

I am thinking that maybe this is a bit much to have on my plate today but you know what “they” say…(throw in some tired cliche about never losing sight of your dreams) and a blah blah blah blah blah blah and a yaddha yaddha yaddha.

Oh yeah, ghetto dwelling and the Norco Crips too okay? Assa lamma lenkum my brothers and sisters and God bless us each and everyone.  Take care folks, talk to y’uns later.

This is Anthony Mandich, your humble and nutritious servant saying, So Long!


P.S.  “Hottest Ass”

P.P.S. “Sex, drugs, and Pussy”!

P.P.S.S. “Sean Stenlake”, Sean Stenlake:  Attorney at Law, Sean Stenlake:  American Hero, Sean Stenlake:  The Brother I Never Knew, Sean Stenlake:  Lessons in Being Great, Sean Stenlake I Love You, Sean Stenlake:  Blue Eyed Wunderkind, Sean Stenlake:  Everything You Have Always Wanted to Know But Were Afraid to Assk

one last thing, i’m going to experiment to see how many hits i get from putting these tags in this post okay?  sean stenlake, sean stenlake attorney, anthony mandich idiot savant, what a stupid blog, god i’m dumb, ass, hottest ass, hottest fucking ass meets hotter fucking ass, asses that are hot, hotties without ass, ass loving hoes, what an ass, asshole, ass ass ass nothing but just pure ass, got ass?, want ass?, smell my ass, you are an ass, assume nothing, makes an ass out of you and me, get it ass?, ha ha ha ass sss you eaten dinner yet, ass is assembled, big huge ass in my ass, tickle my ass, put your cigar out on my ass, man do i love talking about ass, ass is so cool man, its all about the ass, get it, ass???, who wants to over use the word ass?, jackass, horse’s ass, jackasses with ass eating tendencies, horse’s ass is a big ass and they fuck that ass, horny mexican mamas with hottest ass, korean ass, chinese ass, japanese ass, white trash ass bandit, booty smelling ass pigs, ass in zen, common characteristics of an ass, wikipedia entry for ass, history of anthony mandich’s ass, poop comes out of a butt but you sir are an ass, Wiki ass, wiki mandich asshole, fucking ass lover, grape nuts drive me nuts ass boy, why do you love the mans ass so god damn much, damn what an ass, enough already with the ass ass, ass ass boy, ass ass toy, jump on that ass, fist that ass, tongue dart the dark star, jason rhodes is an ass, me and my ass, growing up with my ass, hairy ass, smelly ass, fat as a rhino’s ass, big ass white bitches, trailer park ass, old ass, legal young ass, don’t be such an ass, monetizing your blog through the use of the word ass, google searches with ass, attention getting titles, attention getting ass, assghanistan, north carolina living, i come from a buggy, get in my buggy, mantra, meditation, buddhism, transcendental medication, professing to be wise, they became fools, facing the nation, 12 steps, incomprehensible demoralization, self effacing twits, mocking the readers, the moons over my hammy, ethan hawke, boys love boys ass that are over 18 of course. smash that ass with your tongue, faux outlandish, cliche driven mockery, waste of time topics, dude i want to kill you for wasting my time, becoming a slog even if you are human, human seo, human slog, slog, search engine optimization for dummies, copyrights for dummies, dummies for dummies, buggies for dummies, stupid is forrest gumpisms for dummies, i’m a big old dummy, i fuck chicks, i fuck chicks alot, chcks love to suck my ass


Its so much like a jungle, sometimes it makes me wonder, how I keep from going under

I Got Stung By a Bee in the Face

Well this was quite a little ordeal let me tell you.  It all started yesterday which was Tuesday April 12th, 2011.  I’m friends with a lady from South Carolina who goes by the name of Stephnay Kelleh.  Actually, sorry that’s just how I pronounce her name.  My bad!  The spelling is actually “Stephanie Kelly”.  Well this friend of mine, Stephnay somehow rope-a-doped me into going on this mission that I was somewhat unprepared for.  I went over to the compound in Horsethief Canyon where she lives with her common law spouse, this fellow named Peter R.  The plan that we had made the night before was to go do something fun.  In the back of both of our minds when we make these sorts of plans is usually casino gaming at one of Southern California’s fine Indian Casinos.  I didn’t realize I was in for much more then a gaming experience yesterday though.

According to Miss Kelly, So Cal Sandbags had to do some demolition work at a property on  a hill in Lake Elsinore.  The boys doing the demolition of all these  buildings couldn’t get into the work because of several bee hives scattered throughout the place.  Our mission was simply to do a recon mission, scout out where the bees were hiving and mark those spots clearly with orange marker paint so that some sort of extermination crew could get in there and kill the bees.   Being the humanitarian that I am, a true lover of nature and all of its creatures (except fucking bears who I pretty much hate, along with cockroaches and black widows) I expressed my outrage in no uncertain terms at the terms  of the mass murder of bees that was being planned and relayed to me by Stehpnay.

She’s a tough and sometimes harsh taskmaster, this Miss Kelly woman, and no amount of cajoling, begging or pleading had any effect at all  on the extermination plans.  Well to be honest, I didn’t give a rat’s ass about the bees.  It’s more of a situation where  I  had already seen this “property on a hill in Lake Elsinore” before and I knew this was going to be quite the mission.  First of all there ain’t no roads up to this spooky property.  I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever heard of a guy named Johnny Wisemiller but he was an actor in the late 1800’s or somewhere around then.  According to Stephnay, this Wisemiller character was the original Tarzan in the first series about the white guy who lived with apes and swung from branches and shit like monkeys.  I’m pretty sure that it was a silent movie series but I better do a little research on that part and get back to you okay so give me a little time.  In fact, I gotta go right now.  My ex is all buzzed up at her hotel in Blythe and apparently wants to have a little phone sex right now so there’s that.  Then also too, I wanna get over to Pechanga Casino right now so I can win me a heap of money to replace the 6 bills I spent today at Active Ride Shop in Norco.  So let me handle all that shit and I will get back to this story later when I come home at like 4 in the morning, either all giddy with excitement at having just won a shit load of cash or all pissed off and furious at the casino for robbing me personally blind like a piece of shit company does.  Very much of  a love/hate thing with the casino.  Anyways you don’t need to hear all of that happy sorta crappy anyways do you?

I’m just going to post this right now with no pictures or anything  because I know there are a dozen or so  readers with no lives whatsoever who have come to depend on my inspirational words of courage and splendor on a regular basis.  A couple of them may actually get suicidal if I don’t at least share a tad of my insightful commentary with the world before I take on Lady Luck, the fickle cunt, on her turf in the High Limit Gaming area at Pechanga Resort and Casino, in picturesque Temecula, California.

Talk to you soon okay people? Oh and by the way, thanks to everyone who has been reading lately!  Your participation has been unbelievable (to the tune of 11,400 hits as of today, 1,400 in the last week alone), especially all of the google search hits for the “hottest ass”.  Kudos to you perverts!!!